Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUS YEARS ARCHIVE:
1991 • 1992 • 1993 • 1994 • 1995 • 1996 • 1997 • 1998 • 1999


1-3-2000	1-10-2000	1-17-2000	1-24-2000
1-31-2000	2-7-2000	2-14-2000	2-21-2000
2-28-2000	3-6-2000	3-13-2000	3-20-2000
3-27-2000

★★ READ THIS THREAD ★★

★★ Be The Match ★★

WCW has made the decision to bring back Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo in a last-ditch effort to save WCW. The decision has been in the works for about a month and people are already doubting whether or not the two can co-exist with each other. Dave recaps what led us to this point. First, the group of Bill Busch, Kevin Sullivan, JJ Dillon, and others pretty much pulled the coup last year that got Bischoff canned and Russo was hired soon after. But once it became clear that Russo desperately needs someone to filter his insane ideas, those people also pretty much forced Russo out in favor of Sullivan as the head booker. But the company continued free-falling under Sullivan. Bischoff and Russo had been in talks with Brad Seigel and pitched an idea where they would lead competing factions of older and younger wrestlers fighting over power for the company. Bischoff tried a similar angle to this last year but it never got off the ground because, aside from Ric Flair, none of the older wrestlers (like Savage, Hogan, Piper, etc.) wanted to be portrayed as "old" and didn't want to be forced to put over younger stars that hadn't established themselves. Bischoff was officially hired back into WCW as the head of creative on 3/22, but due to the company losing so much money on his watch last year, he was not given control over the business end of things. Bill Busch informed Siegel that he would quit if Bischoff was brought back, and he made good on his word and walked out when he was told. Bob Mould, a somewhat famous musician who has also been part of WCW's creative and management team, also quit when he heard the news. Kevin Sullivan has been told he's essentially being sent home to sit out the rest of his contract and he no longer has any power either. Sullivan has argued that he was handicapped after inheriting the mess Russo and Bischoff left behind, plus the injuries to Goldberg and Bret Hart, and while that's true, Sullivan never really made any major changes either and it was clear things weren't going to improve with him booking.
The initial idea was to cancel this week's TV tapings and shut down for a week and then return on 4/10 with a fresh start and new storylines. But they ended up not cancelling the tapings and as a result, this week's Nitro is expected to be the lowest rated in the show's history. There was also talk of shutting down for several weeks and cancelling next week's PPV, which Dave thinks might not be the worst idea so they can take the time to slap a fresh coat of paint on the company and basically reboot. But it doesn't look like that will happen either. On Nitro this week, the announcers played it up big, labeling Russo as the man who turned WWF around and Bischoff as the one who turned WCW around several years ago and literally calling them the geniuses responsible for the current pro wrestling boom. Dave says you can't argue with Bischoff's initial success. He took WCW, which was in the red for about $6 million per year and turned it into a $200 million dollar company by 1998. But even at their peak, it was clear WCW had no future because they built around stars who were past their prime and never had a focus on creating future stars to sustain that success. WWF capitalized on that failure and by the end of 1999, WCW was back in the red again, way worse than they were before Bischoff took over. After a series of dumb, expensive investments (KISS, Master P, Megadeth, Dennis Rodman the 2nd time, etc.), losing stars like Chris Jericho, and continuing to rely on old 80s relics, and blowing through millions of Turner's dollars with nothing to show for it, the company lost faith in Bischoff's business judgement. At one point, Bischoff just turned the whole thing over to Kevin Nash as the new booker, who seemingly had no interest in doing anything other than pushing himself and his friends, which sunk the company to even further lows.
As for Russo, it's true that WWF did pretty huge numbers during the time he became more involved in creative and when he left the company, he did a good job of convincing everyone that he was the genius behind WWF's turnaround. But within a few months of his departure, it became clear just which Vince deserved the credit for WWF's success. WWF never missed a beat when Russo left and TV ratings and house show business continued to increase (and keep in mind, WWF hasn't had Austin or Undertaker for the last 6 months either, plus McMahon has kept himself off TV until recently also). Meanwhile, in WCW, when Russo took over, the company just skidded further off the rails. Russo did play a major part in pushing WWF to move away from the failing family-friendly approach. But really, they pretty much just copied Paul Heyman's formula so...ya know. To be fair to Russo, he seemed to be the only person in WCW who realized how badly the company needed a drastic change and he really did try to push new people like Benoit, Bagwell, and Jarrett to the top. But then he brought back Piper, brought in George Steele and Jimmy Snuka, and booked dangerous angles like the one that got Goldberg injured. He came in with a lot of hype and ratings initially went up a bit out of curiosity, but they quickly plummeted again. He booked a tired rehash of the Montreal Screwjob finish at Starrcade, rendered all the belts meaningless, booked absurd screwjob endings to nearly every match on TV and PPV, and essentially booked the company like a monkey throwing his poop at random. As a result, WCW has now fallen behind ECW in both PPV buyrates and live show attendance and TV ratings have continued to plummet.
Here's some cold hard numbers for those Russo supporters out there who still, somehow, defend this guy 20 years later: when Russo took over WCW in Oct. 99, they were averaging 4,628 people per show. By January (his last month in power), average attendance was down to 3,593. Nitro's ratings in Oct. 99 were averaging 3.08. By January, the average was....3.10. Oh, you say! But that's higher! Yes, on paper, 3.10 looks higher than 3.08. But the reality is, during that time, Nitro went from three hours back down to two. On paper, that should have led to a significant increase in the average. If Nitro was still three hours, that 3.10 would be equivalent to a 2.9. So even though it looks like ratings slightly increased on Russo's watch, they actually went down. The loss of that third hour gives the illusion that they didn't. Oh and in Oct. 99, the Halloween Havoc buyrate was 0.52. In January, the PPV buyrate was 0.26. TL;DR - by literally every single metric, WCW business got worse under Vince Russo. But hey, it got even worse since he left, so...take solace in that?
Quick note just at press time, it's been reported that they will announce the XFL will air in prime time on NBC due to a deal between Vince McMahon and Dick Ebersol. The two men were business partners back in the 80s and put together Saturday Night Main Event. If this ends up being true, it would be huge for both the XFL and WWF and is expected to play a part in WWF's new TV deal. More on this next week.
With Wrestlemania just around the corner, Dave takes a long in-depth look at the biggest annual show in the business. He starts by talking about the 3 biggest annual events in wrestling. NJPW's Jan. 4th Tokyo Dome show has been the biggest wrestling event in the world for much of the last decade since starting in 1992 because NJPW was the biggest and most successful company. But NJPW is struggling these days and WWF has surpassed them as the top company. WCW has Starrcade, but the only year that show was ever the biggest was in 1997 (Sting/Hogan) and never really reached the heights of Wrestlemania or the Tokyo Dome show. From here, Dave recaps the entire history of Wrestlemania. Risking it all on WM1, the Mr. T and Cyndi LaupeMTV crossover promotion, the 3-arena debacle of WM2 (where 2 of the 3 arenas weren't even sold out), WM3 which is the most historically famous wrestling event ever and all the folklore surrounding that ("While the 93,173 number is a work repeated so often even those who should know better believe it's the truth. According to Zane Bresloff, who promoted the event, the actual number in the building was 78,000, but the event did sellout weeks in advance and it is realistic to believe the potential if the building was larger could have been 100,000 tickets," Dave says and I'm sure that won't lead to a tired ass discussion in the comments.) The next 2 WM events at Trump Plaza, which were held because Trump paid for them, hoping to do the same kind of business that major boxing events usually do. But the crowds sucked because they mostly weren't wrestling fans, they were high rolling casino comps. Dave also takes a moment here to detail the history of WWF and Jim Crockett running shows against each other's major events to attempt to hurt them, like Vince creating Survivor Series solely to try to hurt the 1987 Starrcade buyrate, and how Crockett retaliated by airing Clash of the Champions on free TV against WM4 and so on and so forth for the next couple of years. Then there's WM6 with Hogan/Warrior, the WM7 drama with the venue being changed due to low ticket sales and turned out to be a huge flop on PPV. WM8 with over 60,000 fans except a LOT of them were papered and it flopped on PPV. WM9 with Hogan returning to win the title, but it didn't help business and he refused to put Bret over later that year. WM10 with 2 of the greatest WM matches in history, WM11 with Lawrence Taylor, WM12 with the ironman match, WM13 which had the Bret/Austin classic but was the moment WWF hit the bottom of the barrel with the lowest WM buyrate ever, WM14 with Mike Tyson and the crowning of Austin as the new top star which did record business, and finally WM15 which mostly sucked but ended up being the biggest money show in wrestling history...until next week when WM16 inevitably breaks that record. Anyway, Dave goes into more in-depth recap of each Wrestlemania here, but you already know the stories on most of this so I...actually have no idea why I just wrote this big ass paragraph.
Last year's Wrestlemania featured Austin/Rock main eventing and broke a bazillion records. This year's plan was originally to do a rematch, with the roles reversed (Austin as heel) but Austin getting injured screwed that up. This year's WM is still expected to become the biggest money grossing event in the history of professional wrestling. As for this year's plans, it's still up in the air. As of a few weeks ago, the plan has always been for Rock to win the title, essentially his coronation as the new top star and face of the company. But that may not happen anymore because Rock is scheduled to film The Mummy 2 movie and will be out for a couple of months soon after Wrestlemania. It's not in the company's best interest to build toward Rock's big moment for an entire year, only to have him win the title and then have to lose it again a month later. The company is pushing the idea that Foley will win and that's what they want everyone to believe, for the big feel good story. Dave thinks the only chance of Triple H retaining will be if Foley turns heel and helps cost Rock the match. Usually a heel retaining the title at Wrestlemania seems like something they'd never do, but Triple H (who was only supposed to be a transitional champion to begin with) has been a huge success as champion and has become a legit main eventer and top star. And Big Show pretty much isn't even in the discussion. Though for what it's worth, Dave says Big Show will probably become the tallest wrestler to ever headline a Wrestlemania, so hey, that's something! Of course, in kayfabe, Andre The Giant was billed at 7'4 (he wasn't) so even though Big Show is legitimately slightly taller than Andre was, they can't admit that without breaking the Andre mystique.
Despite all the huge paragraphs above, they're really only 2 stories. I guess this is a slow week because Dave writes huge pieces about a former WCW jobber turned boxer who was exposed for fixing his matches and all the legal issues with that. And then he writes a big historical piece about Frank Gotch that stems from a letter someone wrote the week before. All really interesting stuff, but none of it newsworthy at all.
Ratings news, Monday stuff is still the same. Thunder ratings reached a pretty horrible low and bottomed out with the main event of Hulk Hogan vs. Dustin Rhodes doing a terrible 1.91 rating. WWF Sunday Night Heat did a lower than usual rating because the Oscars were on. ECW did a pretty bad rating for the 2nd week in a row and was actually close to their all-time low, which isn't good news and kinda surprising since just a few weeks back, they were reaching all-time highs on TNN.
Dave recently ran a poll on the radio show, asking fans which was better*: Wrestling With Shadows or Beyond The Mat? With 37% of the vote, Wrestling With Shadows wins, compared to 21% for Beyond The Mat. The other percentages were people who haven't seen one or the other. What say we, Wreddit?
AJPW pulled a huge surprise in their annual Champion Carnival tournament. Jun Akiyama, who was expected to easily make it to the finals of the tournament, ended up losing to Takao Omori in a 7 second match in the very first round. It's the shortest match in AJPW history. It's a single elimination tournament, which means Akiyama has been eliminated. Dave isn't really sure what the plan is here, but it damn sure makes the tournament hard to predict now. He speculates that this means Steve Williams will probably end up in the finals against either Misawa, Kawada, Kobashi, or maaaaybe Vader (Williams didn't make the finals either. It ended up being Kobashi vs. Omori, because AJPW apparently decided to strap a rocket to Omori and try to make a main eventer out of him. Prior to this, it looks like he was just sort of languishing in the midcard).

WATCH: Jun Akiyama vs. Takao Omori - AJPW 2000

Oh hey, in the very next paragraph, Dave breaks down the next tournament matches and wonders whether AJPW may end up pushing Omori to the finals in order to try to make him a star (yup).
Speaking of Kobashi, he blew his knee out last week and doctors have told him he needs surgery. As anyone who follows AJPW and Kobashi in particular knows, he's naturally ignoring that advice and continuing to wrestle. Because Kobashi.
Shawn Michaels will be returning to the ring next week for his own TWA promotion in Texas. Michaels is billing it as his final match, coming out of retirement to face Venom for the TWA title. The match is said to be a "bunkhouse brawl" instead of a regular wrestling match because Michaels has said his back can't stand up to doing a normal match.
A website called TokyoPop.com is going to start airing live matches from FMW online (that seems like it would have sucked with 2000-era internet technology. Anyway, TokyoPop.com still exists. It's an anime/manga site).
Dave recently caught up on some Memphis Championship Wrestling and gives his thoughts on some of the people there. K-Krush has good charisma (that would be R-Truth). Bobcat looks like every other blonde valet (she's most famous for being the Godfather's ho that won the hardcore title). Blue Meanie has lost so much weight that he doesn't even look like the same person. Lance Russell is still an incredible announcer. So on and so forth. Anyway, Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved By The Bell) appeared yet again, continuing his angle of being obsessed with the Kat which once again led to Screech getting beat down and doing a stretcher job.
ECW has a PPV scheduled for next month but have not yet picked a location. Heyman wants to run the show in a new market because the first-time crowds are usually the best. Heyman had negotiated with the Mandalay Bay casino and hotel in Las Vegas to do it there, but the talks fell through. Both Jerry Lynn and RVD are expected to be back from their injuries by then.
Notes from the most recent ECW TV taping: Dusty Rhodes came out with 2 strippers who flashed the crowd, but of course that won't air on TV. Cyrus made fun of Mick Foley's "retirement." And the show ended strangely. Sandman and Super Crazy were beat down after the main event and left laying. And....that was supposed to be the end of the show. But the crowd was expecting to be sent home happy and didn't leave and kept chanting for Sandman (who was helped out of the ring, selling an injury) and Raven (who was at the show but didn't work due to illness). Heyman called an audible and sent Mikey Whipwreck out to tell the crowd to leave, which led to Raven making an unplanned run-in to give him a DDT, which is about all he could physically do. Then, with Raven in the ring, the crowd began chanting for Sandman to come back out, so Raven went with it and called for him to come out. But by this point, Sandman was already in the showers and thought he was done for the night and he legitimately didn't want to come back out. Ultimately, he did and he caned Raven to send everyone home happy, but he was upset about it and he had words with Heyman and Raven immediately after backstage.
New Jack and Tommy Dreamer will be appearing together in a small role in the CBS TV drama Early Edition.

WATCH: New Jack & Tommy Dreamer on Early Edition

Every angle done on WCW TV this week was meaningless because the company is starting over with a clean slate in 2 weeks under Bischoff and Russo. Spring Stampede takes place on the 16th and there are no matches planned as of yet and there won't be until 6 days before the show when WCW resets. Word is Russo will be doing most of the writing. In an interview with 1wrestling.com, Russo said he hasn't watched a single second of WCW TV since he was relieved of his duties back in January.
Notes from Nitro: it was the spring break show, so the crowd at least seemed to be having fun which is a break from normal WCW shows. Someone in the front row had an "I wish I was at Raw" sign that somehow never got confiscated and was there for the entire show on camera. At the very beginning of the show, a woman in the front row flashed Gene Okerlund, leading to him saying, "Young lady, you're very proud of those, aren't you?" on TV. DDP made his big return and pretty much just plugged the Ready To Rumble movie. Sid Vicious missed the show due to a shoulder injury. Dave can understand not wrestling with an injury but Sid is the WCW champion, and Dave thinks he should at least show up and cut a promo or something. But then again, nothing in WCW matters right now until Russo and Bischoff reboot it anyway. Sting and Luger fought onto the beach all the way to the ocean. And to his credit, Hogan did a promo during the show where he really put over Vampiro as the wrestler of the future and later in the main event, he worked against The Wall and allowed Wall to no-sell the leg drop. So kudos to WCW for finally making an effort to push some new people, even if it all gets wiped away in 2 weeks.
Notes from Thunder: the show drew 1,700 paid fans. Literally 24 hours earlier, Raw sold out a different arena in the same city for Raw with over 12,500 paid fans. Lots of rumors were going around saying Bobby Heenan had been fired, but he was doing commentary on this show, so obviously that wasn't true. Chris Candido is already doing jobs to Chavo Guerrero so he clearly isn't getting any sort of push after debuting just a couple weeks ago. And no real storyline progression, just tons of hype about what the future for WCW holds under Bischoff and Russo. WCW is basically in a holding pattern right now and nothing matters until the reboot.
Hogan appeared on another radio station doing an interview where he buries everybody. He said Bret Hart is in Canada and "can't remember what WCW is." He said DDP was out injured with a broken fingernail and said WCW needs people who will crawl through broken glass with one arm in a sling to sacrifice and get in the ring. He said Kidman needs to start training like Torrie Wilson. He did praise Vampiro again though, so Hogan seems to like him. Anyway, WCW head Bill Busch was on WCW's live internet show and admitted that Hogan has full creative control in his contract and also said that he still has 6 guaranteed PPV main event matches in his deal.
Tammy Sytch is expected to make her WCW debut at the Spring Stampede PPV.
Variety ran a big story about some marketing changes that WCW is making. New hires to take over various marketing jobs, new marketing strategies and promotions that the company is planning to run, etc. Dave says that's all well and good, but nowhere in the article did it mention the idea of maybe putting on good shows that people want to see. All the marketing geniuses in the world can't save a product as terrible as WCW is right now.
Brad Armstrong will be out of action for several months with a knee injury suffered in the dumbest way possible. For some reason, before a show, Armstrong was goofing around in the parking lot with Juventud Guerrera and Psicosis and they decided--just for shits and giggles--to do the ol' famous wrestling angle of hitting someone with their car. You know, one of those dumb "you drive at me, I'll jump up on the hood like the stuntmen do in the movies" type of things. So.....they did it. And now Armstrong needs knee surgery because of course he does (that was pretty much it for him. He never wrestled in WCW again and in fact, he didn't wrestle anywhere for another 4 years before returning to the ring in 2004 and working indie shows periodically until 2011. Died a year later).
Les Thatcher's Heartland Wrestling Association have signed a deal with WCW to act as a developmental territory for them. Power Plant wrestlers will go work shows for him for a little while before debuting on WCW TV.
Various WCW notes: Mexican wrestlers Halloween and Damian are joining Sonny Onoo's racial discrimination lawsuit against WCW. Although with Bischoff returning to the company, Dave expects this lawsuit to ultimately disappear. Christopher Daniels starts with WCW next week. Dave thinks he has a ton of potential. Some people within the company are pushing for Shane Douglas to return. Konnan's suspension ends this week so he should be back soon.
The legal red tape behind the scenes on WWF's new TV deal is still being sorted out. The FCC is expected to allow the Viacom purchase of UPN to go through, which will mean Viacom will own 2 networks (CBS and UPN) which used to be against the law but that's being changed now. Those in the TV industry pretty much believe this to be a done deal. The news has boosted WWF stock up to $17.31 per share (as I write this, WWF just announced the new FOX deal for Smackdown, which boosted the stock up to damn near $60 per share)(10/24 update: currently $80.64).
The Rock was on Jay Leno's Tonight Show recently and movie critic Roger Ebert appeared also. Ebert told Rock that he has talent and told him to get into acting and get as far away from wrestling as he can. Rock laughed it off and said he was working on it.
Notes from Smackdown: it was in San Antonio and a tag team called American Force 2000 worked a dark match. The team consists of two trainees from Shawn Michaels' wrestling school, Spanky and American Dragon. Lots of cool high spots but they weren't very fluid and screwed some stuff up. They also hyped up the Shawn Michaels vs. Venom match next week in TWA for the live crowd.
A lot of the WWF wrestlers are using new entrance music right now to promote the new WWF Aggression CD. It's basically rap remixes of everyone's theme music and Dave thinks it sucks because the fans don't know these songs. So now even when the Rock is making his entrance, the crowd doesn't pop because it's an unfamiliar. Luckily it's temporary and they'll go back to the real versions eventually. Speaking of, WWF The Music Vol. 4, which was released 6 months ago, is still hanging on in the top 200 charts. It's at #152 this week and sold over 10,000 copies. In 2018, any album that is still moving 10k copies six months after it came out would be the best selling album of the year.
WWF claims they have enough money set aside to fund the XFL for at least 3 seasons. They're hoping to expand to 16 teams by 2005. WWF has once again emphasized that they will own all the teams and aren't interested in outside investors. They also again promised that this is going to be legit and the games won't be fixed. Advertisers are said to be hesitant, because they don't have a lot of hope that this whole XFL thing is going to succeed.
Shawn Michaels is said to be itching to get back on television in the WWF, but right now, they have no interest. Business is booming so much these days and they've attracted so many new fans in just the last year or two alone that Michaels isn't considered a top star anymore and WWF doesn't feel the need to use him in any way.
USA Today ran a story about Mick Foley's alleged last match coming up at Wrestlemania. Foley was quoted as saying, "I was much more successful and, going over my taxes now, obviously a lot more profitable being more of a comedy character in 1999 than I ever was being the King of Hardcore. If I'd known I could make more money making people laugh than making people wince, I'd have done it a long time ago." He also said that if it hadn't been for Austin getting injured, he would have retired last year. He said he hated going back on his word so soon after he retired and says he spent 20 minutes trying to talk Vince McMahon out of bringing him back for the match. But ultimately, he admitted that the money was too much to turn down. "It may take some people a while to forgive me, but not as long as it would take me to forgive myself if I didn't do this. Realistically, it's probably going to be the most money that I've ever made. So 15 years from now, when everyone has forgiven me, my kids' college will be taken care of." But Foley super duper swears this time that Wrestlemania will be his final match. "By leaving now, I'm probably giving up on the most profitable year in my career. But I was named after Mickey Mantle. I grew up hearing about how Mickey Mantle stuck around one season too long. I didn't want people to make the same comments about Mickey Foley."

FRIDAY: Wrestlemania 16 fallout, XFL/NBC partnership, Vince Russo gives interview full of bullshit, New Jersey attempting to ban extreme wrestling, and more...

Everything? Ok, everything.

L7 Network New Year's Eve Party 2020

The Conference- Mr. Alessandro Guistinian

The night sky was clean, a pale moon shined on the lake and a pleasant breeze blew from the waters. The entrance to the Faestus was crowded: a line of expensive cars sneaked from the gates up to the parking lot, the valets were busy helping the guests out of their vehicles and into the structure.
Laughs echoed in the halls accompanied by the cheering at the tables and the constant blipping of the slot machines; the restaurants were both completely booked and the lounge bar was filled by excited jazz enthusiasts for the concert. In the private office at the 12th floor Miss. Lauro was busy: while reviewing surveillance live feeds from a monitor she held a phone to her hear and with the other hand was writing.
“I don't care, you have been told what to do.” she closed the call and addressed her secretary, a scrawny little girl of Asian origin. “The VIPs guests will soon take a break and go to dinner, everything is ready I assume.”
“Yes Miss. The private dinner hall is ready and the service will begin as soon as the VIPs will be ready.” the girl had been with Miss. Lauro for some time, even with her delicate features she was starting to mimic her employer in mannerism creating a strange, almost comic, oxymoron.
Down on the fifth floor, in one of the conference rooms, seven men were seated at a table. They were a very heterogenic group: different ages, different shapes, yet all dressed in fine suits and all speaking in Italian, or what passed for Italian among the Italo-American community. On the round table glasses of wine and ashtrays. Don Santi was speaking, charming as always and with his characteristic aura of 'wise man', a characteristic that with age was increasing drastically.
“Friends, we are sliding out of topic. We are not here to discuss the past but, to discuss the future.What I am proposing is to create a new Commission.”
“Santi those times are gone. Times have changed, there is no need for a Commission.” The man speaking was probably the youngest in the room, yet everyone seemed to keep in high regard everything he said.
“Yes, times have changed. The Commission has been abandoned years ago and now it's time to create a new one, because times are changing and not for the better. We are all aware of the war that is going down in Cicero right? We all know that those new gangs of blacks, Asians, Russians etc. hold the streets: they have the manpower and they don't respect any rule. The FBI has been hounding us for decades and in the meantime those local thugs, inch by inch, took control of thecity. I can't believe that this is ok with you.”
“It's not ok but, what has a Commission to do with this? The rules of the Commission never trulymattered in Chicago, the only good thing the Commission did was to convince Capone to get arrested, for the good that did to us. We have been managing fine.” The fat man was at his fifth glass of wine and his ashtray was brimming with spent cigarettes.
“We may have a very different idea of what 'fine' means... We owned Chicago, we were Chicago. Now we are just reduced to petty thugs holding to a few streets here and there. Squabbling betweenourselves at every chance.”
The exchange went on for another half hour, it was heated but everyone was doing his best to keep a cool head. It was decades since the last conference and, even though some families hadn't been invited, everyone knew how dangerous was to let emotions run wild in such formal meetings.
“I think it's time for our dinner, so let's stop here for today. I just want to say this, before we adjourn, we can do great things if we unite. We have money and influence, if we pool our resources together and leave behind our past differences we can do great things. We have so many external enemies that would be stupid not banding together right? Anyhow, let's go to eat and enjoy the night!”
After the dinner the VIPs scattered around the Faestus, some went into the Casino others enjoyed some professional female company in their suites.
On the first floor in the lounge bar Don Santi was enjoying a drink with the young man that for all the talkings had been the leading skeptic voice. “Do you think we will succeed?” the young man had his shirt unbuttoned and the tie was hanging from the back of the chair, like a forgotten noose of a distracted executioner.
“You are playing your part brilliantly, they will come around as soon as you show them how.”
“Yet not everyone was invited, the other families could see this as a threat.”
“The families down in Cicero have other concerns.”
“What about the Giovanni? Those guys always give me the creeps.”
“The Giovanni tend to stay away from other families, they are isolationists by nature. They will see this as troubling but if we don't cause them real trouble I am confident they will simply ignore us.”
“Why should they ignore us? If we succeed we are going to transform Chicago, they surely will want a piece.”
“When they will see the benefits of what we are doing for sure they will come demanding to get a share. We will see what will happen then, for now we need to focus on our plan.”
“I understand your tactic but, it's true that times have changed. Back in the days the Commission worked because we were all tied by the same projects, we had common businesses. Grandpa always said that no one liked the Commission but everyone wanted in to get a share.”
Don Santi smiled knowingly: “We have a common project, for now I am the only one aware of that, when I will reveal the project you will be convinced and everyone will follow.
The man was behind his desk watching a porno on his computer, the inter-phone rang: “It's Miss. Lauro.” The man jumped on his chair, immediately closed the porno: “Let her in.” The office was spacious, expensively furnished, posters of health care campaigns and how the administration was taking care for the wellbeing of the citizens were proudly displayed on the walls.
Miss. Lauro entered the office smiling, something that made the man behind the desk shiver. “I am sorry to come without a proper appointment. I hope I am not disturbing.” The man stood up “I was just reviewing a few things and then I was going to lunch, the door of myoffice is always open to you.”
“Always a gentleman.” She sat across the desk “How is your family?” “Well, thank you. My wife would love to see me more but, this city holds me hostage.” he laughed nervously while checking the clock on the computer.
“Well she surely is proud of your dedication to the public. I will not keep you from your duties for long. I received troubling news: the city hall is going to authorize the opening of a rehabilitation center.”
“Oh yes, I saw the papers. A no profit organization convinced the owner of a building to let themuse it for their center. Why is it troubling?”
“The center can't open there. The authorization has to be denied.”
The man looked puzzled, he felt completely taken by surprise. He knew of the project but he didn't knew the details and didn't care.
“Well, it's more a formality, some of the neighbours complained but they didn't manage to do much, there's no legal reason to block the center.”
“There's always a legal reason to do whatever is needed.”
“Miss. Lauro I don't see how I can help you. Probably you should try to make a petition...”
“You can block this for security reasons and for health reasons. If you make pressure 'voicing the concerns of the citizens' regarding the value of the properties in the neighbourhood, the risk of attracting and concentrating troubling individuals in an area that is residential with many children living there, the risk for the public safety considering the distance from the nearest police department and so on. There are hundreds of good reasons to oppose this. You just need to choose a few and do what politicians are supposed to do: push law to do what has to be done.”
The man felt the temperature in the office rising, he was sweating, probably the air conditioner was malfunctioning... he hoped.
“Well Miss. Lauro, I can look into this thing but I can't promise anything.”
“We are on the same side, I assure you that this is in your best interest.”
“Fine, I will do all I can.”
“Good, thank you for your time. I kept my word of not keeping you for long.” She smiled.
“The first deposit will be confirmed with a 24 alphanumeric code, the code will be used as a pin for your second deposit. When the two deposits are confirmed everything will be up and running.”
The man was extremely fat, when he talked his double chin vibrated like a crème caramel, his forehead was beaded with sweat.
“Fantastic.” Mr. Romanon shook the hand of the fat man, then took a good sip of his mojito. The fat man tried to remove some of the sweat on his face with his handkerchief, than saluted Mr. Romanon and with his computer left the beach as fast as his ponderous bulk allowed him. Mr. Romanon stood under the big beach umbrella watching the ocean and enjoying himself whenhis phone rang: “Miss. Lauro! I was wondering why you hadn't already called me.”
“Mr. Romanon I know you too well, let's ear this joke and be done with it.”
“You hurt me, I was just pointing out that every time I'm enjoying some, well earned, relaxing time you call with your honeyed words.”
“Are you finished?”
“Ready for duty! You say jump I say I can't, my feet ache.” “Very funny. Is the society ready?”
“It is. Dematerialized bearer shares, linked secure accounts and all the usual stuff.”
“You amaze me, I must admit that you are reliable even if you are completely insufferable.”
“Was that a compliment?” the line was closed.
The second day of the conference the VIPs guests woke up late in the morning after a good night of fun and an incredible lunch, in the late afternoon were finally ready to resume their work. The private meeting room was once again the theater of the elaborate play written by Don Santi, all the actors at their places on the scene ready to play their role.
“I hope you enjoyed the services of Faestus.” Don Santi opened with a wide smile. All the attendees agreed and laughed. “Well now let's focus on the matter at hand shall we?”
“That's exactly what the girl of the last night said!” the laughs continued but soon everyone was serious again, tension building up quickly.
“You had time to consider my proposal, do you want to share any thoughts about it?”
After the second break in the conference everyone was sure that the proposal of Don Santi wasn't viable, there was potential yes but too much history between the families, too much trust needed. The break for the day was seen as the last ditch effort of Don Santi and the few on his side to try to delay the inevitable refusal.
“Santi is an honorable man but he lives in a different age, honor means very little today and here inChicago never mattered.” The man was sprawled on a comfy chair, a bottle of beer in hand and acigar in the other.
“It's a nice dream though. No one wants a Commission to give them orders, yet...”
“Commission... puah... that is just a fucking nice way to say: 'I am the boss now'.”
On the third floor of the casino, five men were playing black jack: they were five of the seven 'consiglieri' of the bosses attending the conference. The room was booked for their enjoyment: the dealer was an half naked model with breasts that could have been sculpted on marble, other half naked models moved around bringing drinks and occasionally conceding some part of their luxurious bodies for a “lucky touch”.
“This conference, we will get nowhere really. It's like this game: we are playing but we already know what is the underlying truth.” The man was tall, his skin tanned by too many lamps, with square glasses and short hairs too much black to be natural.
“Which is?”
“That the dealer always win. We know the outcome even before starting yet, we hope that for some reason the outcome will be different and we hope that we can stop playing before we discover how wrong we have been.”
“Darling, a scotch please.” The man was Santi's family consigliere, overweight and bald with piercing eyes and a knowing smile “So you believe that this conference will not affect us? That everything will be as if nothing happened?”
“I know that I'm enjoying myself too much to even care. For all it's worth I hope this conference lasts for another week at least!” The man was with his shirt unbuttoned, sleeves rolled above his elbows and his cheeks were red from the alcohol. He was losing, and badly, but he didn't care, hewas too much entertained by the girl sitting on his lap.
“I am not against this idea you know? Some of the families are reduced to beggars almost, it's humiliating. Plus if we band together we stop pissing each other off, could be a nice change.”
“We would be arguing and fighting even more trust me. Every month someone would bring a grievance to the Commission asking for satisfaction, each month the Commission would refuse. After two years, at most, we will find ourselves shooting one another for every stupid reason.”
The third day of the congress was the day of truth: Don Santi was eating breakfast in his suite, the sun shone on the lake and there were no clouds in the sky. Down on the water sailing boats moved on the waves like white ducks, in the distance a ferry boat drew a shimmering line from East to West.
“Good morning Mr. Santi.” Miss. Lauro walked into the room, her heels clicking on the floor.
“Good morning Miss. Lauro, favorisce?”
“I will take some coffee thank you.” Miss. Lauro seated graciously on the other side of the table, took the moka from the table and poured some coffee in a cup.
“I prefer the moka to the espresso.” Don Santi explained.
“A good coffee is a good coffee.”
“What can I do for you Miss.?” Don Santi was spreading butter on a toast and covering it meticulously with marmalade.
“I just desired to wish 'in bocca al lupo'. And to inform you that everything is in order. I am sure thatyou will not disappoint our Benefactor.”
“Thank you. I do not plan to fail, everything is ready and they will come around.”
“Have you reviewed the papers?”
“I have and so has my consigliere. There's no need to worry.”
“I am not worried.”
This time the conference began before lunch, everyone was at his seat around the table, in front ofeach attendee a folder.
“Good morning my friends. In the last two days I proposed you the creation of a new Commission, an alliance between our families. You had time to discuss my proposal and to question it: 'is it a good idea? What do we have to gain? Can we trust each other? Why do we need a Commission?' This last question is the one I'm going to answer today. In front of each of you there's a folder, inside you will find the details. My son insisted I gave to this a pretentious name, like in a Bond movie, I simply call it The Project. This is the most ambitious project since the creation of Las Vegas, if that could be called a project. A urban, commercial and industrial renovation plan, massive coordinated and targeted investment in key areas of the city with the goal of creating the New Chicago: a North American Dubai.”
Everyone seemed puzzled, all focused on the speech of Don Santi but they clearly didn't know whatto expect.
“The Project consists in acquiring, improving and creating a network of connected businesses:lodging, entertainment, shopping, security, education, everything in a synergy aimed to attract the wealthy to the city and to offer ALL the services they may require in complete safety. The city will change face, the value of properties will sky rocket and from all around the world everyone will come to spend their money. In the Middle-East and in places like Singapore this kind of projects have been proven effective but, they were coordinated by local governments, here we, through the Commission, will be the ones coordinating everything. In the folder you will see that a society with dematerialized shares to the bearer has already been created, every member of the Commission will receive shares proportional to their investment and their vote will be tied to how many shares they hold for every business decision. For any other decision each member will hold one vote. There will be a president and that will be me. The president will be the only one that can accept new members into the Commission.”
Don Santi paused his speech and watched the reaction of those around the table: some were intentin reading the papers, others were clearly taken by surprise.
The youngest of the attendees spoke: “From what I am reading this is massive. Even with all our families together we can't possibly sustain such investments.”
“The Commission will be the one in charge but we will not be the only investors. There are investors ready from all over the world.” He casually gestured with a finger indicating the building“Many others will want to invest when they will see what we are creating. What's important isn't themoney for now, what's important is cooperation, your cooperation.”
“Even if we agree, you cannot possibly predict the profit this project of yours could make.” the young man continued.
“No, the exact amount can't be known right now. Just imagine all those businesses, all legal, tied together: no competition, all the employees putting their pensions together into an investment fundthat we control. And that is only the part of it under the sunlight!” Don Santi knew he succeeded, they were all hooked, all salivating to the prospect of untold riches, they needed only to be reeled in with a good, decisive pull. He looked in the eyes the youngest of the group and nodded.
“If, this project is solid, I'm in.”
The rest was pure formality.

What are your favorite free attractions in Las Vegas?

What's happening around town (Wed, Feb 8th - Tue, Feb 14th)

Tulsa's event list.

Wednesday, Feb 8th

🎡 Beethoven Exhibit (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Thru Fri, Feb 10th Start Time: 10:00am Beethoven Exhibit Feb. 1-25, M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. and during Chapman Music Hall events :: PAC Gallery This exhibit is presented by Chamber Music Tulsa in conjunction with their Beethoven Winter Festival and the performance by the Mir� Quartet of the complete Beethoven String Cycle (Feb. 17-26).... FREE
Busty Brunettes (Soundpony Lounge) Start Time: 9:30pm
🍴 Food Truck Wednesday - Off Season (Guthrie Green) Start Time: 11:30am
Ok, So Story Slam (Enso Bar) Start Time: 8:00pm Ok, So Tulsa Story Telling Competition - Open Mic
Tulsa's Monthly StorySlam is looking for people to come share their stories onstage in front of a live audience (21+). No experience necessary and we need contestant/storytellers just like you!
Tulsa's Monthly Open Mic StorySlam: The SECOND WEDNESDAY of every month we come together at Enso…
😂 Open Mic Night (Loony Bin)
♪ Travis Linville (Mercury Lounge) Start Time: 9:00pm

Thursday, Feb 9th

♪ Ariana Grande (BOK Center) Start Time: 7:30pm Pop music's breakout star of the year is headed to Tulsa's BOK Center as part of her Dangerous Woman Tour.…
Ariana Grande: Dangerous Woman Tour (BOK Center) Start Time: 8:30pm
🎡 Beethoven Exhibit (Tulsa Performing Art Center) 1 day left Start Time: 10:00am Beethoven Exhibit Feb. 1-25, M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. and during Chapman Music Hall events :: PAC Gallery This exhibit is presented by Chamber Music Tulsa in conjunction with their Beethoven Winter Festival and the performance by the Mir� Quartet of the complete Beethoven String Cycle (Feb. 17-26).... FREE
Foreigner (Paradise Cove @ Margaritaville)
😂 James Johann (Loony Bin) Thru Sat, Feb 11th
♪ K.Flay (The Vanguard) Start Time: 7:00pm
Live Jazz Night (Sisserou's) Start Time: 6:30pm
Moutons + Casual Cal (Soundpony Lounge) Start Time: 9:00pm
♪ Styx (Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tulsa - Catoosa) Start Time: 8:00pm Known for their dramatic stage shows, flashy style and producing some signature sounds of the 1970s and 80s, Styx brings…
Winger (IDL Ballroom) Start Time: 9:00pm

Friday, Feb 10th

Afistaface (Soundpony Lounge) Start Time: 9:00pm
🎡 Beethoven Exhibit (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Last Day Start Time: 10:00am Beethoven Exhibit Feb. 1-25, M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. and during Chapman Music Hall events :: PAC Gallery This exhibit is presented by Chamber Music Tulsa in conjunction with their Beethoven Winter Festival and the performance by the Mir� Quartet of the complete Beethoven String Cycle (Feb. 17-26).... FREE
♪ Brother Hawk (Mercury Lounge) Start Time: 10:00pm
🎭 Dorothy and the Prince of Oz (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Thru Sun, Feb 12th Follow the yellow brick road to the Performing Arts Center in Tulsa to experience the Tulsa Ballet's "Dorothy…
🎓 Greater Tulsa Indian Art Festival (Glenpool Conference Center - Glenpool) Thru Sun, Feb 12th The Greater Tulsa Indian Art Festival is a cultural celebration of the American Indian. Come to the 2017 show to enjoy a…
😂 James Johann (Loony Bin) 1 day left
♪ Jon Wolfe (Cain's Ballroom) Start Time: 8:30pm Advance $10 | Day of Show $13 | Door $13 There is a $2 fee that applies to each ticket purchased at the Cain's Box Office. No re-entry! No smoking! No refunds! Support acts are subject to change without notice!
🎭 National Fiddler Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony & Concert (Mabee Center) Welcome five inductees to the National Fiddler Hall of Fame with a memorable induction ceremony and full concert. Held…
🏆 Tulsa Oilers (BOK Center) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 7:05pm
🏆 Tulsa Oilers vs. Missouri Mavericks (BOK Center) Day 1 of 2
♪ Pumpkin Hollow Band (Hall Of Fame - Catoosa) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 9:00pm
♪ The Time Jumpers featuring Vince Gill (Mabee Center) Start Time: 7:30pm On February 10, 2017 five nationally renowned fiddlers will be inducted into the National Fiddler Hall of Fame at the Mabee Center in Tulsa, OK. The night will be a red carpet affair with Grammy-nominated band, The Time Jumpers (TTJ) headlining with a full concert. Three fiddle players from The Time Jumpers, Kenny Sears, Larry Franklin and Joe…
Vintage Market Days (Creek County Fairgrounds - Kellyville) Thru Sun, Feb 12th Vintage Market Days is an upscale open air market featuring vintage and vintage inspired collections for all ages. Named…
$ Tulsa Women's Expo (Expo Square) Thru Sun, Feb 12th Head to the River Spirit Expo at Tulsa's Expo Square for the Women's Living Expo. This event will be packed…

Saturday, Feb 11th

🎭 Tulsa Ballet (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Start Time: 9:00pm
Discover the Dinosaurs UNLEASHED (Cox Business Center) Day 1 of 2
🎭 Dorothy and the Prince of Oz (Tulsa Performing Art Center) 1 day left Follow the yellow brick road to the Performing Arts Center in Tulsa to experience the Tulsa Ballet's "Dorothy…
🎭 The Drunkard and the Olio (Tulsa Spotlight Theatre) Start Time: 7:30pm
Bixby Father Daughter Valentine’s Day Dance (Bixby Community Center - Bixby) Start Time: 6:00pm This is one of our most popular events! Fathers and daughters of all ages are invited to a fun evening of dancing. Snacks and beverages are provided. Music is by D.J. Connection. Tickets available at the door, $5/person. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
🎓 Greater Tulsa Indian Art Festival (Glenpool Conference Center - Glenpool) 1 day left The Greater Tulsa Indian Art Festival is a cultural celebration of the American Indian. Come to the 2017 show to enjoy a…
Holatafest (The Shrine) Start Time: 7:00pm
😂 James Johann (Loony Bin) Last Day
LaFortune Daddy Daughter Tea Time (Lafortune Community Center) Start Time: 1:30pm Come and spend the afternoon drinking tea or lemonade, and eat light hors d'oeuvres with your little princess(es). Enjoy making memories and a craft during this special time. $10/couple, additional guests are $2.50 each. All ages. Sign up: at location LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!
🏆 Tulsa Oilers (BOK Center) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 7:05pm
🏆 Tulsa Oilers vs. Missouri Mavericks (BOK Center) Day 2 of 2
PUGS & KISSES ANNUAL FUNDRAISING EVENT FOR PUG RESCUE OWASSO, INC (NOAH EVENT CENTER) Start Time: 2:00pm Everyone is welcome to attend "Pugs & Kisses" and don't forget to bring along your furry family members (on leashes, please) to be a part of the fun! During this event, we will have; a live guitarist, caricature artist, appetizers, beverages, silent auction, prize giveaways, vendors and a "Pug Kissing" booth. Pug Rescue Owasso, Inc is a…
♪ Pumpkin Hollow Band (Hall Of Fame - Catoosa) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 9:00pm
Randy Rogers Band (Cain's Ballroom) Start Time: 7:00pm
♪ Roots of Thought CD Release (The Vanguard) Start Time: 7:00pm Animal Library, Colouradio, Marie Curie
🏃 Running 4 Love 5K & 10K (Claremore Expo Center - Claremore) Thru Sat, Feb 18th Start Time: 11:30am RUNNING 4 LOVE is our second annual virtual event for all of you lovers out there. For this event, you get a medal set, which include TWO MEDALS (when put together they spell LOVE)! Keep one half of the medal for yourself and give the other medal to someone you LOVE in honor of Valentine's Day! Or better yet, run the event together and share…
Sad Palomino + The Chads (Soundpony Lounge) Start Time: 9:30pm
Second Saturday FREE Admission both locations all day. (Philbrook Downtown) Start Time: 11:00am
♪ Strahan and the Good Neighbors (Mercury Lounge) Start Time: 10:00pm Sat Feb 11 10:00 PM Strahan & The Good Neighbors
🍴 Valentine's Dinner with Sarah Coburn (Southern Hills Country Club) Start Time: 6:00pm Please join us for a ROMANTIC VALENTINE’S RECITAL AND DINNER featuring SARAH COBURN Saturday February 11, 2017 at Southern Hills Country Club Cocktails at 6:00 pm // Dinner at 7:00 pm Tickets are $250 per person. Black tie // Complimentary valet parking For more information, please contact Richard A. Koenig at [email protected] or…
Vintage Market Days (Creek County Fairgrounds - Kellyville) 1 day left Vintage Market Days is an upscale open air market featuring vintage and vintage inspired collections for all ages. Named…
$ Tulsa Women's Expo (Expo Square) 1 day left Head to the River Spirit Expo at Tulsa's Expo Square for the Women's Living Expo. This event will be packed…

Sunday, Feb 12th

Discover the Dinosaurs UNLEASHED (Cox Business Center) Day 2 of 2
🎭 Dorothy and the Prince of Oz (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Last Day Follow the yellow brick road to the Performing Arts Center in Tulsa to experience the Tulsa Ballet's "Dorothy…
🎓 Greater Tulsa Indian Art Festival (Glenpool Conference Center - Glenpool) Last Day The Greater Tulsa Indian Art Festival is a cultural celebration of the American Indian. Come to the 2017 show to enjoy a…
🏃 Running 4 Love 5K & 10K (Claremore Expo Center - Claremore) Thru Sat, Feb 18th Start Time: 11:30am RUNNING 4 LOVE is our second annual virtual event for all of you lovers out there. For this event, you get a medal set, which include TWO MEDALS (when put together they spell LOVE)! Keep one half of the medal for yourself and give the other medal to someone you LOVE in honor of Valentine's Day! Or better yet, run the event together and share…
Vintage Market Days (Creek County Fairgrounds - Kellyville) Last Day Vintage Market Days is an upscale open air market featuring vintage and vintage inspired collections for all ages. Named…
$ Tulsa Women's Expo (Expo Square) Last Day Head to the River Spirit Expo at Tulsa's Expo Square for the Women's Living Expo. This event will be packed…
♪ YOUNG THE GIANT (Cain's Ballroom) Start Time: 7:00pm Indie rock band Young the Giant takes the stage at Tulsa's historic Cain's Ballroom for a concert as part of…

Monday, Feb 13th

🎨 Beethoven Exhibit (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Thru Fri, Feb 17th Start Time: 10:00am Beethoven Exhibit Feb. 1-25, M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. and during Chapman Music Hall events :: PAC Gallery This exhibit is presented by Chamber Music Tulsa in conjunction with their Beethoven Winter Festival and the performance by the Mir� Quartet of the complete Beethoven String Cycle (Feb. 17-26).... FREE
Charity Day at Sisserou’s Benefiting Iron Gate (Sisserou's) Start Time: 11:00am
🏃 Running 4 Love 5K & 10K (Claremore Expo Center - Claremore) Thru Sat, Feb 18th Start Time: 11:30am RUNNING 4 LOVE is our second annual virtual event for all of you lovers out there. For this event, you get a medal set, which include TWO MEDALS (when put together they spell LOVE)! Keep one half of the medal for yourself and give the other medal to someone you LOVE in honor of Valentine's Day! Or better yet, run the event together and share…

Tuesday, Feb 14th

🎨 Beethoven Exhibit (Tulsa Performing Art Center) Thru Fri, Feb 17th Start Time: 10:00am Beethoven Exhibit Feb. 1-25, M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. and during Chapman Music Hall events :: PAC Gallery This exhibit is presented by Chamber Music Tulsa in conjunction with their Beethoven Winter Festival and the performance by the Mir� Quartet of the complete Beethoven String Cycle (Feb. 17-26).... FREE
Jimmy Friday (The Shrine) Start Time: 9:00pm
😂 Michael Mack (Loony Bin) Thru Sat, Feb 18th
🏃 Running 4 Love 5K & 10K (Claremore Expo Center - Claremore) Thru Sat, Feb 18th Start Time: 11:30am RUNNING 4 LOVE is our second annual virtual event for all of you lovers out there. For this event, you get a medal set, which include TWO MEDALS (when put together they spell LOVE)! Keep one half of the medal for yourself and give the other medal to someone you LOVE in honor of Valentine's Day! Or better yet, run the event together and share…
Sara Watkins (The Vanguard)
❓ trivia with jack (Soundpony Lounge) Start Time: 8:30pm
♪ Wayne Newton (Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tulsa - Catoosa) Start Time: 8:00pm

This actually occurred a little over a month ago, but is somewhat ongoing as I have not received the money I lent this bastard, but we will get to that soon enough.
For privacy's sake, we will call him "Jimmy", even though he deserves to have me post all of his actual info on here, but whatever.
About a month ago I am fiddling around on facebook while at work, and see a post from "Jimmy" about having Suite/Box seats to a Hockey game in the city. I am a HUGE hockey fan, so this caught my eye immediately. I decided I would shoot him a message and see how much he wanted for a couple tickets (I really wanted to take my g/f). He immediately responded with a great price, and his phone number so I could call him to finalize the deal. This all seemed perfect, until I remembered who I was dealing with.
Jimmy was the guy in our group of friends that burned every single bridge he ever made, while single-handedly shattering every amazing opportunity he was ever given (we all know a few of these guys don't we?). Basically he was the group fuck up, and that is what ended up getting him ousted from the group. He could talk himself out of anything he had ever gotten himself into, and had been for years. He wrote at least one check every day of some sort that "his ass couldn't cash". And I also believe at one point, he was also writing bad checks from an empty bank account, that he never had intended on putting money in to begin with, but that's beside the point. Jimmy was always getting into, and right back out shit. Always "borrowing from Peter, to pay Paul", all while fucking both their wives. I'm sure you get my point. Him being from a wealthy family; enabled this, and obviously he knew it.
Fast forward many years, to that facebook post (I hadn't seen or physically spoken to this asshole in a long time). I call him up, and though apprehensive, it seems he may have finally gotten at least some of his shit together (had a g/f, owned his own business, etc). It wasn't long after talking about meeting up to exchange money for tickets and so on that it all began. The endless trail of shit spewing out of his mouth, about how there were too many people (his g/f's brother and friend) that wanted to go now, so he had to try and come up with an extra ticket, for the game (to make everyone happy). It was then, he started to make me an offer, that I would have been silly for refusing. If I was to lend him the money for this extra box ticket ($150), he would in return not only pay me back in full, at the game, but hook my g/f and I up with a luxury suite at one of the nearby Casino/Hotel's. As an extra thank you, everything would be included in the stay (all drinks, food, etc..). He even offered to let me keep the required refundable deposit on the room. Keep in mind, I am was already paying him $150 for the two tickets I needed. Now, I am not dead broke or anything, but $300 bucks on a night of fun was a little out of the budget range. I must have sounded hesitant on the phone (I was), because he quickly started trying to convince/reassure me that it was only because he didn't have his debit card with him (his accountant cut it up because he was yet again, a fucking idiot), and was in a hurry to get this all taken care of before the game we all had to be at. I believe his words were something like "Kyleforshort, c'mon you can trust me, I am good for this, I am driving a $100K car right now, do you really think I am not going to pay you back?".
I immediately wanted to know what he was driving, and he calmly replied with "A Lotus" (and yes I know that they are more rare, than expensive, but c'mon it's a damn Lotus). I called bullshit right away, but he was on his way to meet me with the tickets, so I knew I would find out soon enough. We get off the phone, and my anxiety is through the roof. Do I let someone, who I have zero trust in, borrow this money that I need to pay rent/bills/etc with? Most would have said fuck that, this is too good to be true, but Jimmy has a way with words as I said before, and he sucked me right the fuck in like he had so many others.
A few minutes later I get a phone call, saying he's around the corner. I head out back into the rear parking lot of my job. Sure as shit, a dark green Lotus whips around the corner. The idea was to sneak away, hit an ATM, get the tickets and slip back into work like nothing ever happened (of course him showing up in that fucking thing almost completely prevented that). Though still skeptical, I begin to gain some faith in him. I mean after all he wasn't completely full of shit..he did show up in a Lotus, and gauging by the cracked bumper, and the shit show the inside was, it was in fact....his. I jump in, we run to the nearest ATM, and yup, as you assumed I gave him the $300. But not without some sort of collateral. I'm not a complete fucking moron. Before I gave him any money, I made him give me all of the tickets he did have on him, 4 in total. The only condition was that in his own words "YOU HAVE TO BE ON TIME". I didn't see that as an issue, so the tickets were mine, and the money became his. He dropped me back off at work, and we agreed to meet later, at the game.
Fast forward 3 or 4 hrs, and traffic (too many fucking accidents for an average day) has caused us to be "late", and I wasn't supposed to be late. I get a phone call saying he is no where near the venue, and has some shit to take care of, so he needs me to met up with the other people whom have bought the other 2 of the 4 tickets I have. We pull into the the hotel/casino valet, and register under his name. After multiple texts and calls, and no sign of him, or the people who's tickets we have. We head upstairs, to wait. This is where the fun begins...(I almost forgot, at this time my drivers license was suspended, and expired, and I couldn't renew it, due to it being suspended, so I knew there was no way in hell I was getting in the Casino part of the hotel.)
7:00 PM - People who need the other tickets arrive, I give them the tickets, and we agree to see each other later at the venue.
7:15 PM - Get a phone call from "Jimmy", he is no where near the venue, so we decide to head over to the game. One problem, you have to enter the Casino to get the "train" that goes to the arena. There are two more problems with this scenario, I have an expired I.D., and no cash for said train. I relay this to Jimmy, and he says he needs to make a phone call.
7:20 PM - (Game starts at 7:30) I get a phone call from Jimmy saying there is a shuttle bus waiting for us down by the V.I.P. entrance of the Casino. We head downstairs both confused, and pissed off because he is no where to be found with the money. We walk a block down the street, and sure as shit, there is a shuttle bus, sitting there specifically waiting for my g/f and I.
7:30 PM - We arrive to the arena, at an entrance I have never seen before. Present the tickets (which at this point I think may be fake), and are ushered to a near by elevator. We go up what seems like 15 floors, and arrive at a long hallway that resembles a hotel hallway, and are told which way to go to get to the suite. By this time, I am acting like a 15 year old girl that is about to meet The Backstreet Boys, and my g/f is getting pissed/embarrassed by said actions.
7:35 PM - We walk into the suite, and see the two guys we met up with at the hotel, and then get introduced to the guy who's suite it is (the host). We are welcomed to all the food and booze that we could possibly consume (me being the lush I am, I start in on the brews). Everyone is still waiting on Jimmy.
8:15 PM - Now like 6 or so beers in, I and everyone else are still waiting on Jimmy.
8:45 PM - Still no Jimmy. I had received a text (from Jimmy) a bit before asking how much in the game was left. With there not being much, I didn't expect he would show.
9:00 PM (Approximately) - Game over (we lose), and all of us head down to the shuttle to make our way back to the casino.
9:15 PM - We all unload, and the host stops us to ask what we have planned for the rest of the evening. Still agitated, I say we are still waiting on Jimmy. He quickly makes a phone call, and says Jimmy will be waiting at the V.I.P. entrance of the casino, so that is where we head.
9:20 PM - We stand inside the V.I.P. entrance for a min or two, and down the stairs comes Jimmy. I now present my expired I.D. to the lady at the desk. She says nothing and waives my g/f and I through to Jimmy. I immediately ask about the money that I am owed, and he says he has some of it, and is just waiting for someone to get there, so he can collect the rest.
9:25 PM - I immediately flag a waitress down, and Jimmy orders my g/f and I a drink (charged to the room of course). We begin to wander around the "High Roller" area of the Casino floor, and I start to notice that Jimmy is exchanging "hellos" and "how the hell are yas" with nearly everyone around us. I couldn't figure out how the in the hell he knew everyone from waitresses, and gamblers, to the damn custodians. I mean hell, I still couldn't figure out how he managed to have a shuttle come and get just my g/f and I like it was no issue at all. At one point I was even joking with one of the Valet guys about how big of a pain in the ass Jimmy's Lotus was to get in and out of.
10:00 PM - Jimmy walks my g/f and I over to the little kiosk thing where you manage your casino account/points and so on. He swipes is card, and proceeds to check on how many available points he has, etc etc. While doing this, I notice that he happens to be like one level below the highest level you can be at the damn place. Below that was a number, that nearly made me shit myself right then and there. Within 6 months of being a "member", he had spent/won upwards of $250K. (Which I then assume is how everyone knows this shithead).
10:30 PM - Jimmy takes us to the front desk of the Hotel, to check us in. We get our key cards, and head up to the room. Upon opening the door, I couldn't believe my eyes. Floor to ceiling windows over looking the city, separate rooms, a giant bathroom with a steam shower and a Jacuzzi, etc. This room was the size of a small apartment, and way nicer than anything I or my g/f had been in previously. I quickly go to the mini bar, and crack open a cold beer (I mean hey it's all free, so why the hell not). We all sit and chat for a few, and Jimmy explains his many life fuck ups, and how he got his shit together finally, has a great g/f, owns his own business etc.
10:45 PM - We head back down to the Casino, and I again have to show my expired license. Security guy looks at my I.D., and responds with "maaaaan this is expired" (I acted surprised of course) he then swiped it through the thingy (for lack of a better term), and waived me though. I again could not believe what was going on.
11:30 PM - By this time, I have downed 3 or 4 more beers, and my g/f heads back to our room (She's not much of the gamble/party type, and hates when I get too drunk). I am now continuously harassing Jimmy about my $150. I am also getting louder and louder while he grows more and more embarrassed. It now becomes apparent that all of these theatrics of his are just simply stall techniques. We head over to a few slots and he begins putting small bills in, and losing. In my drunken haze, I don't think anything of the fact that it's probably my damn money going into those machines.
12:00 AM - We head to a secluded little room directly off of the High Roller's floor, and Jimmy greets the guy, whom he also seems to know. He asks the guy if he could recount to him via computer the day that he had won $70K. It takes a second, and sure enough the guy rattles off some date a month or two back. They go back and forth with some Casino lingo and we leave the room with me drunk, confused, and now shaking my head at what in the hell is still going on.
1:00 AM - Jimmy says he'll be right back, and disappears. I notice there is a bar cart close by, so my drunk ass decides to go over and order another beer. The bartender rattles off a total and I tell him to charge it to my room. He tries, but the charge will not go through. I say naaah try it again. He does, and nothing. Just then Jimmy shows back up and I excplain the issue. We leave the bar cart, without the beer, and he again makes a phone call and wanders off.
1:15 AM - Jimmy returns, and encourages me to go try to get a drink and charge it (something apparently wasn't activated/working correctly before). We walk over to the bar cart, I order the same thing, tell the bartender to charge it to my room, and BINGO it works. I just look at him and shake my head. We go over and sit at a couple of slot machines, and he begins to try and borrow more money off me, promising a quick return via the Black Jack tables near by. I immediately shut him down, tell him he's fucking nuts, and begin loudly asking about my $150 again. Jimmy heads, of and I stay at the machines, ordering more drinks from passing waitresses.
2:15 AM - Jimmy comes back, we talk some more, and decide we are getting hungry. We head over to one of the restaurants down in the gaming area, stand at the entrance, joke with the hostess a bit, but never enter the establishment. We walk around for a while, and this is where shit starts to get a little fuzzy. I at one point lost my phone, and found it right where we were previously sitting back at the slots.
3:00ish AM - I find myself sitting at the slots (again), Jimmy no where in sight. By this time I really should be puking, in bed, or doing both. I fumble to locate my phone and call my g/f because I am too drunk to know how in the hell to get back to the room. No answer. I sit there for a while longer, call again, and still no answer.
3:30ish AM - Jimmy had to have shown up sometime within this time frame because I faintly remember him escorting me back to the room. He never came in though, just led me to the door. I loudly let myself into the room to find my g/f sound asleep. I am now pissed that "she left me down there alone", even though it was my drunk ass, that couldn't find my way back. We fight, and yell for a while. And eventually make up. ;)
4:00ish AM - Presumably around this point, I have passed out, and my g/f is back to sleep also.
7:00 AM - There is a loud bang at the door, that woke both my g/f and I. Turns out, I had locked Jimmy out of the room by using the room's deadbolt. He initially told me he wouldn't be crashing there so I thought nothing of it, and was too drunk to care.
7:30 AM - Slow to get up, we get dressed, and talk with Jimmy for a bit. He offers to walk us downstairs so we can get breakfast from the buffet (roughly $30 a person), he just needs to sign off on it.
7:45 AM - We gather our things and head down to the buffet. Both hostesses of course know Jimmy (smdh). They ring us up, and he signs the bill. We head in to eat and he disappears (again).
9:00 AM - We head over to valet to get our car, and head home. Still no word from Jimmy.
Jimmy did string me along for a few more days about giving me my money, but then he stopped answering, and I gave up.
UPDATE: I still haven't heard from Jimmy, and as you probably have guessed, still haven't seen my $150. My g/f and I totaled approximately what we had spent throughout the whole ordeal, and that far outweighed the $150. I think it was well up over $2K if you count everything that was provided at no cost to us. Plus it was/is tax time and we both got our refunds and so on a short time later. So all in all, I don't feel like I lost much at all, and had a damn good time while doing it.
We still have no idea what Jimmy was doing for the 3 hrs before he tried to get into the room at 7 AM.
(SORRY IF THERE IS ANY CONFUSION IN THE TIMELINE OF THINGS. I WROTE THIS OVER A FEW LUNCH BREAKS AT WORK. SO IT MAY BE A LITTLE CHOPPY.)
TL;DR - Let someone borrow money, got shitfaced, had an awesome night (free room, food, drinks), and never saw my money again.

[HM] Black Comedy. Memoirs of a day filled with drugs and violence

"Memoirs of a day filled with drugs and violence"

 Written by Jonas Øvsthus

“I was more addicted to self destruction then to the drugs themselves ... something very romantic about it” ― Gerard Way

 Chapter one "Self Destruction"

So there I sat... drenched in sweat and shame. Well, not really the shame part. That came later. I remember that day very well. It was a Sunday in 1998. I was in a hotel room in Los Angeles, California. I was supposed to be the key-note speaker at the Sunnyvale rehabilitation center. The conference was at 11 o´clock. It was eight o´clock at the moment. I had some hours to get myself back in shape. I still have the faint taste of cheap tequila and cigarettes in my mouth. I smelled horrible, but I did not feel like taking a shower. Instead I opened a can of Heineken and poured a line of cocaine. Columbia´s finest. I used my debit credit card to cut two perfect lines. I was strangely detailed about my lines of coke. I was not the person to cut up a two centimeter line and a three centimeter line. I bought the cocaine from a hispanic gentlemen outside of Baker´s Casino last night. At least I think so. I´m not really sure. The last week has been a real blur for me. Ever since I left New York, every night has gotten more blurry and every morning has gotten more grim. So I guess I should explain why I; a drug addict and an alcoholic are going to speak at a conference for some bullshit rehabilitation center. My wife, well ex-wife forced me to go to rehab about two months ago. And off course I went, I would not do anything to disappoint her. I put on fresh blue jeans and a cheap brown blazer and went on my way. I opened the door and there I saw a dozen of depressed, anti-social peasants drinking their coffee and pretending to be nice to everybody. I was not like that. I never pretended. I guess that is a problem, huh? Well anyways; I went to two or three meetings. I don´t really remember because I was high out of my mind, but nobody noticed. They really reacted badly when I refused to admit I was an addict. I clearly was, and I still am... But I adventualy got around to admitting it. And I was not proud. Not at all. They got the best of me. They took the one thing I owned. Something personal. That is all you really need to know.
It was 8:30. I already drank my beer and did my cocaine. I started to feel good. Back on track. Then the hotel phone rang. I slowly walked towards it. Hesitating. Why? I don´t know. But when you do as much drugs as I do, paranoia tends to take the best of you. "Hello?" I asked quietly. It was a lady. She was talking very fast. Way to fast. "Can you please repeat that?" I kindly asked the nice lady. "You have a phone call, sir. Please hold and I will put you over." I did not respond. The channel changed and the dial tone started. It probably dialed two or three times. "Mr. Smith?" a man asked on the other end of the phone. "Yes?" I answered. "Your requested rental is outside the hotel, whenever you´re ready." the man said and hung up. Rental? What was he talking about? I did´t rent a car. Or maybe I did. Waking up to suprises like this after a night in a total drug haze was starting to get normal for me. But it never seized to amaze me what appeared on my doorstep every morning. Well I guess I had to go downstairs to check out the rental I ordered. I was still in my bathrobe, so I had to put on some respectable clothing. Jeans with huge holes on the kneed? Sure. An old woolen sweater my wife got me a couple of years ago? That would do. I checked my pockets to see if I had everything I needed. Wallet, hotel room key, and what is this? A small piece of paper with a smiley face on it. Did I buy acid last night? I can´t recall. I studied the piece of acid closely. "Fuck it" I said to my self and put the piece under my tongue. And out the door I went. I could hear yelling from the hotel room next to mine when I entered the hallway. The light was really bright here. I put on my sunglasses. I started walking down the hall and towards the elevator. I clicked the button and waited. How long does this thing take? I checked my fake rolex wrist watch. 08:45. I had plenty of time before the conference. The elevator finally opened after what felt like an eternity. Inside there was an elderly couple. They smiled at me, with I did´t care for. I stepped inside. "You going down?" I asked. "Yes" the woman replied. "Jesus christ" I mumbled to myself. You don´t have to be so damn enthusiastic about everything. I could feel them smiling behind me. I adventully turned and I was right. Smiling like a couple of high-school girls. "Rough night?" the man asked me. "I beg you pardon?" I replied. He repeated himself. "No, not really." I replied. "Well you look like you had one" he said. For fucks sake. I really hate old people. "Well, I went bar-hopping with some friends." I said. "Well that sounds like fun." the woman replied. "Yeah sure. We got really drunk and did a lot of cocaine. Way to much. I´m not even sure if they´re alive after last night." I replied. They did not answer. Not a single fucking word. The elevator door opened, and I turned to the couple. "Have a wonderful day!" I said and walked away. Their faces.... I will never forget. It was like a combination of pure horror and an aneurysm. It was wonderful. As I walked into the hotel reception, I suddenly started to feel a tingling sensation in my legs. I got dizzy. Kind of sick. I felt like throwing up. Then I remembered! The acid! I got really excited. I totally forgot. I walked up to the front desk. "I ordered a rental" I said. "Sure, what is your name?" the nice lady asked me. "Smith" I replied. Her eyes were funny. They were not in place like on a normal person. They started rotating, and so did her mouth. I could see colors and glowing from behind her. "Yes, it is parked outside." the lady said and handed me the keys. But I could not focus. Her face was so fascinating. And what was the glowing halo behind her? I had so many questions. "Sir, are you okay?" the lady asked me. Fuck! My high was starting to show. I needed to pull it together. "Yes, off course" I said and took the keys from her hand. I walked towards the front door. I though I walked normal, but now I realize I did not. Everyone was looking at me strange. I just smiled at them. In a total daze of obliviousness. Come to think of it; I don´t think I acted normal at all. People were turning their heads and shaking their heads at me. I did not understand at the time, but now it makes total sense. Sure, I had at least three different recreational chemicals in my system, but I felt great. It was sunny outside. Not a cloud to be seen. I walked towards the parking lot. There was probably three hundred cars parked there. I pushed the lock button on the black car key I was handed. I heard the opening of a lock nice and a honk. And there it was: a black 1967 Ford Mustang. And I was taking this baby on a ride on a beautiful day, high on cocaine, and the lsd was just kicking in.

 Chapter two "Rebel Within"

Was I fit to drive? Probably. I´m going to have to take that risk today. It´s not everyday you get to drive a masterpiece like the 67´Mustang. I started it and revved it. I cannot describe the sound that it made. It was purely orgasmic. I sat there and revved it for a few seconds. People started to look at me funny. I rolled down the window and yelled "All hail the mighty V8!" at the top of my lungs. People was just shaking their heads. They did not appreciate this like I did. I took out a tiny salt shaker from my pocket that contained the rest of the coke I bought last night. I placed a little dab on hand and snorted it. "God damnit!" I yelled and drove off. After just a few seconds of driving I realized that the trees around me was not friendly trees. They all had faces and had a smug look. I did not get afraid, rather unsettled. I rolled down my windows and yelled "What the fuck are you looking at, you filthy plants? Have you never seen a V8 before?". That showed them. They oughta know better than to stare at me with their stupid fucking faces. I can´t remember how fast I was going, probably 80 or 90. To fast, nevertheless. Then I saw it; blue rotating lights from my windshield. "They must be in a hurry" I thought to myself and pulled over at the nearest bus stop to let them pass. But he did not pass. He stopped behind me, and got out of his car. A filthy fucking pig with a mustache that will make you want to throw up. He dragged his fat pathetic ass over to the Mustang and knocked twice on the window. I rolled it down. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" I asked politely. And when I said a filthy fucking pig earlier, I meant it. This was a fucking pig in a police uniform. He grunted with his dirty pink nose. His uniform was very clean though, compared to his face. Wait... was this the acid? Maybe this is an actual cop and not a pig. I better play it cool nevertheless. "SIR! License and registrations, please!" the police pig said. He must have asked me a couple of times, according to his attitude. I was in a total daze, I could not focus if my life depended on it. All I could see was a pig in a police uniform. "Yeah, sure! Sorry, officer" I said and pulled out my driver license from my wallet. The pig studied my license and then my face. "Have you been drinking today, sir?" the pig asked. "No, sir." I answered. Confidently. He took another close look at my face and then rolled his eyes. "This right here is a Nevada driver license, you need to get it changed as soon as possible." the pig said. "Sure thing! I´ll get to it ASAP!" I answered. At this point I was afraid, I´m not going to lie. I was scared to death. This is the first time I´ve seen a talking pig, or an actual pig! "Are you on drugs?" the pig asked me. I was in pure terror. I was sweating so bad the pig could probably smell and hear it. "Absolutely" I answered. The pig froze. He was shocked. "Sir, step out of the vehicle, please." the pig said and stepped away from my door. "Sure" I said and took of my seat belt and stepped out of the car. The wind and air hit me in a beautiful way. I could hear birds and wind blowing in the trees. It was beautiful. Then the beautiful setting got interrupted by the pig throwing me to the ground. "I am getting real tired of your fucking games!" the pig said. He put me in handcuffs and rolled me over to my back. Then I saw it. It was not a pig that I had been seing. It was an actual police officer. The acid tricked me. He pulled me off the ground and put me against the Mustang. "What drugs have you been taking today?" the officer asked me. "Well, nothing much, two grams of cocaine and a sheet of lsd." I answered. I was always honest when it came to my drug use. Well not always, but sometimes. "Jesus fucking christ" the officer said to himself. "Are really the handcuffs necessary, officer?" I asked him politely. "They are for my protection" he replied. "Come on man, I´m calm. I´m not going to do anything stupid" I said. The cop looked at me. I could see the gears grinding inside his brain. He was weighing out the positives and negatives in his mind. "Well, I guess they're not necessary." the cop said and unlocked me from the hand-bound prison. I needed to get out of here, I had a conference to attend. I needed a distraction, or better; make one myself. "Hey, what is that guy doing?" I said and pointed across the street. The police officer turned his big stupid head like I was pointing to a castle made out of chocolate. I grabbed his baton and hit him across the back of his head. He fell to the ground. I felt alive. I also took his 9mm Glock and his police radio. I got in the Mustang and drove off. I had to get out of here quick. What was in this acid? I´ve never experienced this in the twenty-two years I´ve been taking psychadelics. But the acid behaved for a while after that. No more bad trees mean-mugging me and talking pigs with badges. I checked my wrist watch. It was 10.00. Only an hour til´the conference. I needed to straighten up. I was a mess. I checked my salt shaker. Empty. Well, fuck. I needed some coke right now. I opened my phone and scrolled through my contacts. "Hector" I dialed him. You see; Hector was my go-to guy when it came to cocaine back in the day. But he got busted for possession of illegal drugs with intention to sell, and for contribution to murder. He was locked up for seven years. Allround dangerous dude. But that did not matter, I needed coke. I needed it bad.

 Chapter three "Customer Service"

"Hello?" I said. "Who the fuck is this?" Hector replied over the phone. "It´s Smith... I need some coke" "Hey fuck you man, I´m not getting you no coke" Hector replied. "Well I did´t ask you filthy puerto rican. I demanded" I replied. "Who the fuck do you think you´re talking to, white boy?" Hector said, aggregated. "You know damn well who you´re talking to, Hector" I said to him. By the way; I´m speeding down Hollywood Boulevard, dodging cars and responsability. "Don´t ever call me again, white boy" Hector threatened me. "Oh I don´t need to call you again, sandbag. I´m on my way to your house." I replied. "Wait, what?" Hector was starting to get worried. "Yep, about three minutes away now, you better have a fresh pot when I arrive" I said and hung up the phone. I cocked the 9mm as I pulled into his driveway. I was not three minutes away, it was more like three seconds. I got out of the Mustang and marched to the front door. I kicked the door in, with my 9mm pointing at anything that moved. But nothing moved. It was empty. "Where the fuck are you at, sandbag?" I yelled. "Where´s the coke?" I yelled again. No reply at all. "Hector!" I tried again. I don´t even think I finished yelling his name before I was rudely interrupted by the blast of a twelve gauge through the bathroom door. I jumped to the ground. He kept firing two more shots. I could hear him reloading. He was armed with a pump-action shotgun, because I could hear him cocking it. "Get the fuck out of my house, Smith!" Hector yelled as he fired another round. I crawled behind the kitchen counter. I could hear the bathroom door opening. It creaked really bad, could use some oiling. "Where are you, white boy?" Hector said. I could hear him moving closer and closer to me. Maybe he was getting to close? I needed to warn him. With my back against the kitchen counter, I fired two shots of the Glock at the ceiling. "Fuck!" Hector screamed and rain for cover. I stood up from the counter and got the Glock ready. "Listen, buddy. I just need some cocaine" I said to calm him down. But I was not lying. "You just want some fucking cocaine? Then why do you come in here strapped?" Hector cried. "Mostly for my own safety, you know how you drug dealers are." I said and laughed. "Listen man; I stopped dealing. I´m trying to go straight this time" Hector said. "Really? Well I´ll be damned" I answered. "There is no fucking snow in here, man. Just leave" Hector cried. "You better shit out some fucking cocaine, because I´m not leaving without my fucking cocaine!" I yelled. I was starting to get irritated. I knew damn well he had some bricks stashed in this shit hole. I started to hear sirens. Were they real? There was no way to tell. This acid trap was getting worse by the minute. I needed something to focus. But the sirens kept getting louder and louder. "Okay, Hector, I´m putting the gun down." I said and thew Hector´s phone on the ground. It was worth an attempt. I was pointing the 9mm at the corner where he was hiding. Waiting.... Then Hector peeped around the corner, and I placed a bullet right between his eyes. He fell to the ground and I started opening drawers and cabinets looking for the good stuff. "FUCK!" I yelled out loud. I ran into his bedroom. It was full of dirty laundry. I rain through his drawers and wardrobe. And here it was; at the top shelf of his cabinet. A brown beautiful bag wrapped in duct tape. There was a halo glowing around it when I held it in my hands. I swear to god I heard angels singing. I rain to the kitchen and got a knife and sliced it open. I stuck the knife in the bag and snorted the coke right off the knife. It was amazing. Truly wonderful moment. But then I realized: The sirens! They were getting louder and louder by the seconds. I was sure this was not just a trick made by my acid-filled mind. I opened a kitchen drawer and grabbed some electrical tape I found. I taped over the hole I made in the brick and took off. I started the Mustang and backed it off the driveway. I heard a loud bang. That was the sound of Hector´s mailbox I hit. Who the hell places a mailbox there? Never mind... I had to leave. As I drove off I checked my watch again. 10:45. Shit, only fifteen minutes till´the conference. I had to get out of here quick. I estimated about ten minutes till´the hotel. That is off-course; no traffic. But this is Los Angeles, the city of angels. And also the city of traffic jams. I just had to wing it. If I got there late... so be it. I was easily doing seventy miles per hour down the busy street of Santa Monica. Dodging oncoming traffic and lousy pedestrians trying to cross the road. "Get out of my way, dickheads! This is an emergency!" I yelled out the window. I may be in a hurry, but I took the time to appreciate the mood I was in. The coke did one hell of a job. And yes; I put the seat belt on my brick of cocaine in the passenger seat. Then a strange noise appeared. I could not figure out where it came from. I checked the glove box, the floor of the car and in the sunglasses-compartment on the roof. Shit, it was my phone. "Hello?" I answered. "Where are you?" a man said on the other line. "Ummm, Santa Monica, who is this?" I replied. "It´s Andy. We´re all waiting for you." Andy said. Andy was the president of the Sunnyvale Rehabilitation center. Real dickhead. Think he is SO fucking special because he´s ten years sober. "Yeah, well... I´ll be there in five minutes." I replied. "Five minutes? You said you were in Santa Monica, there is no way in hell you´re going to make it in five minutes!" Andy yelled at me. "Wanna bet?" I replied. "What?" Andy replied "I asked: Wanna bet?" I said again. "No, I don´t want to bet, just drive safe and I will talk to the board and say you are going to be late." Andy said. "I won´t be late. Five minutes. Five grand." I said and hung up the phone. Well fuck... Five minutes. I can make that. I picked up the knife from Hector´s kitchen and sliced a hole in the brick of cocaine. I took a huge snort. Probably close to one gram of pure columbian cocaine. You see; when you do cocaine, it increases levels of natural chemical messenger "Dopamine" in brain circuits controlling movements and pleasure. Cocaine prevents dopamine from recycling, causing excessive amounts to build up between nerve cells. Meaning; it will make you fell fucking invincible. So I did the only logical thing to do: I floored the damn thing. The Mustang roared a might roar as it geared down and built up speed. I turned up the radio. "Gimme Shelter" by the Rolling Stones was on. I turned it up and yelled: "Now we´re talking!

 Chapter Four "Maybe I´m not fit for the job"

As the screams of Mick Jagger we´re roaring from the car stereo, I was concentrating on not killing myself and innocent people on the road. I was doing good. There minutes left. I could make it. The four-lane highway was jam-packed with soccer moms in mini-vans and suits in nice Mercedes Benzes. I was tailgating this really nice Mercedes AMG. I though to myself: "Jesus christ, you have about three hundred horsepower in that thing, why not use it?" I had a huge V8 in the Mustang, and I made sure to use every single one of the ponies in the cylinders. I could see him lifting his head to check the rear-view mirror. He was not happy with me being this close to the ass of his nice car. But I had a important conference to attend to. I decided to calm down. This is going to be fine. I looked to my left and saw a beautiful woman driving in her BMW convert able. She was truly a beautiful person. She reminded me of my wife. Yeah I know: Ex-wife. Then my beautiful moment was rudely interrupted by a huge crash, forcing the Mustang to a complete stop. I hit my head on the steering wheel, causing bleeding from my forehead. All I could think was: "Isn´t there any airbags in this shit?". I could´t make sense of what happened. The front window was full of smoke from the radiator. Then, the driver door opened. "What the fuck are you doing? Learn how to fucking drive a car!" a mysterious voice said. I was still in a tiny coma. "W-What?" I replied. He talked some more, but his voice just got more and more blurry, so did his face. I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of the car. My legs were sore. Really sore. I had problems with standing up straight. I could´t make sense of what he was saying. Them my vision became more and more clear. The man was wearing a nice blue suit. "Learn how to fucking drive!" He yelled at me. "Yelling does not solve anything." I replied. "What the fuck did you say to me?" the man answered. Aggravated. He was furious. "Do you want some coke?" I asked him. I thought we would forget all this if he got a line of my precious cocaine. "Are you high?" he asked me. "Off course I´m high!" I replied. "Jesus christ!" he yelled and started dialing on his phone. "What are you doing" I asked him. "What do you think I´m doing? I´m calling the cops." the man replied. "No you´re not." I said. This went back and fourth. I went into the Mustang, grabbed my brick of coke and the 9mm lying in the passenger seat. "I don´t think that is a good idea" I said and pointed the gun at him. He froze. At this point several honest citizens started to stop to assist the accident. One gentleman that stopped drove a nice Audi sedan. I ran over to him and forced him out of the car. "I need your car!" I yelled and dragged him out his car. I took off. The Audi was not nearly as fast as the Mustang, but it did the job. At this point I was really late. I lost the bet. I had to pay that sack of shit five grand. I pulled up to the Hotel valet´ and ran out of the car. I rushed into the hotel and went up to the reception. "Where is the conference?" I asked. "It´s in the conference room in the basement" the nice lady replied. "Thank you, have a wonderful day" I said and took off. While I was running down the stairs to the basement, I realized that I had the pistol in my waist, and the brick of coke tucked into my shirt. Oh well, they won´t notice. There stood Andy. "Where the fuck have you been?" Andy said angry. "Here" I said and handed him five thousand dollars. "What the fuck?" Andy said. I walked into the conference room. It was jam-packed. And at that very moment, I realized that maybe I´m not fit for the job. I mean: I´m going to get on stage and lie to a hundred people. Lie about how my life has changed since I got sober. Since I joined this stupid club, the only hours I´ve been sober has been when I was sleeping, and I´m not even sure if I was sober even then. So there I stood. Sweat running down my forehead, still bleeding from that damn steering wheel and a head full of cocaine. I felt a tug on my shoulder. It was Andy. "What the fuck happened to you, you cannot go up there looking like that!" Andy whispered in my ear. "I have to." I answered. Andy kept trying to pull on my shoulder. "Momma did not raise no quitter!" I yelled and ran to the stage. Me yelling caught the people´s attention. I could only imagine Andy´s face as I ran. I walked towards the microphone. It was quiet. Dead quiet. "Hello everyone." I said. No reply. I guess a small part of me wanted the people to respond. "Pull yourself together!" I though to myself. "You´ve been lying to everyone your entire life." I said to myself. People were looking at me strange and whispering to each other. And I understood why. I couched twice and started my speech:
"Dear people of Los Angeles. I is a pleasure to be here on this beautiful day. I am here to talk about how Sunnyvale Rehabilitation center has changed my life. And how getting sober has made me an all-round better person. About two months ago, my then-wife forced me to go to rehab because of my drug addiction. I had lied to her about my drug use the entire three years of our marriage. So I went to one of their meetings, not knowing what to expect. And I was met with some of the nicest and love-filled people I´ve ever met in my entire life. We were all friends there, no, family rather." I stopped for a second. I started thinking. Where am I going to end up if I continue lying to everyone like this? In jail? Dead? Or just a man with no emotion or empathy for anyone? Was I turning into a drug-filled psychopath? I think I was. And I think it was about the right time. The right time to tell everyone the truth. By the flip of a light-switch I completely changed my belief in life. I have been lying to everyone to get out of trouble, to get my will and to manipulate people. No more. It was time.
"Listen folks... I have something to confess." I took a deep breath and couched. "The things that I just said.... It was complete horse shit... I am not two months sober. And I´m not the right person to stand here and talk about sobriety to you wonderful people. I.... I am an addict. I have been using cocaine and various psychedelics my entire life. And I´m not ashamed. I do think I have a problem. Absolutely. But I am not ashamed. Or maybe I am.... I am starting to lose grip of my life. On what is real or not. Today, on this beautiful Sunday morning.... I have taken about three grams of cocaine, one beer and a sheet of LSD." People were shocked. Andy started walking towards the stage in a hurry. "Stay the fuck back, Andy! Let me finish this!" I yelled. Andy actually stopped. Neat. "And the drugs is not the worst thing I did today. I also killed a puerto rican drug dealer to acquire this!" I said as I held up my brick of cocaine. The people sat completely frozen in a combination of shock and fear. But they did listen. And I appreciated that. "I am not the right person to do this. I am a fraud. I have lied to everyone in this wonderful facility. My real name is not Smith. I killed my wife because she flushed ten grams of my cocaine down the toilet." A lady fainted in the audience. I noticed several people pulling out their cell phones to call the police. I looked at Andy´s heartbroken face and said: "The first step is admitting, right?" Andy just stood there in a total daze. "Thank you!" I said and ran off the stage. I figured I had said to much information to lock me up for life, so I made a formal descicion to haul ass. As I ran I though to myself: "I never though a Sunday like this could completely change my life. To completely change aspect of life itself like this is truly remarkable." And as I ran through the hotel, onto the busy streets of Los Angeles with police sirens all around me, I knew; I was a different person at this point.
While writing this, I am currently sitting on a balcony in a hotel room in Barcelona. The sun is hitting me just perfect as I sit here in my Hawaiian shirt and jean shorts. I am drinking a wonderful mixed Jack and Coke and eating a slice of pizza which the wonderful room service lady brought up for me. If anyone reads this, I am deciding here in beautiful Spain for a few more days, before finally flying to Texas to reunite with my mother. It´s been to long since I last saw her. I really miss her voice and her sweet Apple pie. I´m not sure if she is going to be happy or mad to see me. Or even recognizes me. Time will show. I can´t think of that right now. In an hour I am going to meet up with an old colleague of mine to discuss some new business opportunities. I took my acid about an hour ago, so it will kick in any moment now. Until next time...
Best regards... Mr Smith.

GTA Online: Contact Missions With A Story

I'm not really into the Lowrider stuff and I got thinking about ideas that would suit the game and fit into the setting. I took inspiration from the Gone in 60 Seconds films for this story idea. Tell me what you like and tell me what you hate. Just any feedback or suggestions that you'd maybe like to see if R* were to create an update for GTA Online like this.
Hao comes to the player asking for help after his brother Hinn flees Liberty City after accidentally killing the son of the Triad leader while illegally street racing. After pleading for the Triads to spare Hinn's life The Triad boss Ming offers a deal to the two brothers. Steal all the listed cars and deliver them to Triad associates before a deadline hits or suffer a brutal death for all involved should they fail. They have a handful days to collect all vehicles.
Mission 1 – Pink Slips 2 to 4 players
Los Santos' renowned street racer Andrew “The Weasel” says he'll give his car up to anyone who can beat him. The race he's competing in has a upstart racer with a brand new Dinka Sarakin, the only one to reach American shores. He's hoping to take this vehicle but we know better. Make sure one player crosses the line first and take his heavily modified Obey 9F and in the confusion of the heat of the race steal the Sarakin before anyone realises what's going on. Stash both vehicles back at the airport LSC once you're done.
•The racer must come first. •The Sarakin must be forced into last place and be stolen out of view of the other racers. •The mission will be failed if the players cause any deaths.
Completing this mission opens the Dinka Sarakin for purchase. A highly modified sports car based on the Toyota Supra.
Mission 2 – Valet 1 to 2 players
I'm going to need to you go down to that posh Hotel down in Vinewood and deal with the valet man when he's out of sight of his co-workers. Take his place and steal the 4 cars the Triads want. The Benefactor Surano, The Dewbauchee Rapid, the Enus Huntley and the Albany Manana all need to be jacked. Stash them at the drop off and get back to the front desk as soon as possible, if a car turns up and nobody is there to take it you'll blow your cover and all this is over. You need to deal with every car that pulls up even if we're not here to steal them, so don't screw up. You know how heavy the police come down when it's not the hoy palloi getting robbed.
•All cars must be taken to destination •Failure to take receipt of a car will result in a mission failure. •Any violence will result in mission failure.
Mission 3 – Mount Chili-had 4 players
There's some photo shoot going on up the top of Mount Chilliad where they're showing off 3 Marshall's and a Vapid Sasquatch. I don't know why Ming want these and frankly I don't care. What you need to do is steal some planes from McKenzie Airfield, get up nice and high and parachute into the marked zone. Once you land sneak up on the vehicles and snatch them. Stow them away in Sandy Shores once you've escaped the police. If you screw the approach up you'll spook the people there and they'll make a run for it, if this happens you can use the off-road vehicles I've stashed up there for you. I wouldn't want to do that myself though, those babies wheels are taller than I am.
•Steal and deliver all marked vehicles. •If a marked vehicle is destroyed the mission is failed.
Completing this mission opens the Vapid Sasquatch, a variant of the monster trucks in game that's small enough to be kept in your personal garage.
Mission 4 – Racing Stripes 4 players
The USA Touring Car Race has come to Los Santos. I'm guessing these cars are going to end up in private collectors hands after you steal them. These cars are so expensive that they've got Merryweather in on the job protecting them. There's two Titans each with 2 cars in the back of each plane. The Sprunk Buffalo, the Massacro Racecar, the Dinka Jester Racecar and the Benefactor Feltzer Racecar must be stolen from Los Santos International Airport. As soon as you enter the airport you have a wanted and must retrieve all 4 cars against heavy Merryweather resistance. Once you are done you must deliver them to the Quarry where Hinn and Hao will move them on.
•Steal and deliver all marked cars •If a vehicle is destroyed the mission is failed
Completing this mission opens the Benefactor Feltzer Racecar complete with Life Invader decals.
Mission 5 – Hack and Seek 1 to 4 players
Ming's started being all cryptic with these orders and only given us the telematic numbers for the next batch of cars. That's the bad news. The good news is that we've triangulated where they are and it appears they're in multi story car parks around LS. I've had a wannabe hacker knock up and app for your phone, when you ring the telematic number it'll flash the lights and beep the horn of the car so you can locate it. Get out there, find those cars and deliver them to the carpark up near the Boulevard. We'll take car of the rest.
•Deliver the cars marked by the app. •If a vehicle is destroyed the mission is failed.
Mission 6 – The Cursed Car 1 to 4 players
This Voodoo was the first big purchase back in the 60's by the first Liberty City Triad Boss Po, he got it within 8 months of joining the American dream without being able to speak a word of English. It was seen as a significant coup for the Triads to be buying such lavish possessions off criminal activity after such a short time. Unfortunately it was stolen from Po after a deal went south and was passed about by rival gangs wanting to rub the Liberty City Triads noses in it. Ming wants it back and your orders are to go to a meeting and deal with the Aztecas and the Lost using it as a bartering chip over a deal over by the Lighthouse in Blaine. Kill them all and leave the vehicle at the liquor store in Sandy Shores.
•Go to the lighthouse and kill both sets of gang members •Retrieve the Voodoo and park it in the designated spot •If the vehicle is destroyed the mission is failed. •(SECRET) One of the gang members is holding the Yu Jian. Pick it up for an extra reward from Ming.
Finding the Yu Jian unlocks the katana blade for purchase.
Mission 7 – The Best Mission... In the World! 1 to 3 players
Those British TV car show presenters are in LS testing out some high end vehicles for their TV show. I love these guys so this is hard for me to say, but we have to rip them off, what Ming wants Ming gets. Mask up and steal their cars but under no circumstances hurt them or their camera crews. It's already bad enough we're doing this but hurting them is something I don't want on my conscious.
•Steal the Pegassi Vacca from Sparkson. This gentlemen is known to be super aggressive so be ready for a fist fight. •Steal the Pfister Comet from Beefmond. This gentleman is know for driving extremely dangerously without care for himself or other drivers so be ready for a chase. •Steal the Ubermacht Zion from June. This gentlemen will have got himself in a predicament that will be hard to sort out and is also prone to boring anyone stupid enough to listen to his trivia so be prepared for tedium. •If a vehicle is destroyed the mission is failed.
Mission 8 – Into the Drink 1 to 2 players
The new money from the internet age has created some crazy wheels. One of the main owners of Bleeter has an enormous yacht anchored down just outside the Bluffs. It's not that that Ming is interested in though. On board there's a super rare coupé called the Coil Mantaray that's only given to the worlds most high flyers. So how do you get this car back on dry land if there's no road to drive on? You sail it. That wondrous bit of technology is water tight and can propel itself underwater. Get to the yacht, take out the security and yank the Mantaray. Stay submerged until you lose the police and then bring it to the surface on Vespucci Beach.
•Gain access to the yacht and deal with the security. Killing innocents will bring more police in, so avoid it if possible. •Do not damage the Coil Mantaray significantly. If you break any windows or bust any panels it won't remain water tight and will damage upon entering the water. A flooded car will result in a mission failure.
Completing this mission will unlock the Coil Mantaray for purchase, it is styled on the Lotus Esprit. The Coil Mantaray has average performance for a coupe, but it has reinforced bodywork and windscreens to cope with the high pressures of being underwater. Players can ride on the surface of bodies of water by driving into them or they can hold right on the dpad to submerge. While underwater the vehicle controls like an airplane, albeit very slow.
Mission 9 – Music Was Better Back Then 4 players
Can't say I care for the 80's, 90's or even the 00's bands. Live in the here and now I say, unless we're talking about cars. Since we've got these has been bands on these reunion tours there's bound to be cars these rich coked up assholes have that are on Ming's list. Go to Vinewood Hills, get to the open air stadium, get past the entourages and boost some of those classic wheels. Try to avoid casualties, we don't need any more heat than we're already going to get for jacking these marks.
•Steal the Grotti Cheetah 80's •Steal the Obey Deluxo 80's •Steal the Pegassi Infernus 80's •Steal the Bravado Banshee 80's •Deliver all vehicles to the Terminal. If any vehicles are destroyed the mission is failed.
Completing this mission opens up The Grotti Cheetah 80's, the Obey Deluxo 80's, the Pegassi Infernus 80's and the Bravado Banshee 80's for purchase. All cars are modelled similarly to what they were based on in Vice City.
Mission 10 – The Sheik 4 players
The Sheik of one of those oil rich countries is in town down at the Casino. He's renowned for being indecisive so has a trailer full of his super cars follow him around so he can pick and choose what he drives no matter where he is. You're going to split into teams of a driver, a shotgun and 2 hackers. The driver and the shotgun go to the casino and fight to take control of the 18 wheeler carrying the goods while the hackers track down secret documents detailing police force telematic numbers. Once the driver is on the freeway that drives through the Tatavian Mountains the hackers have to work as quickly as possible to reduce the wanted level of the driver to zero before they hit Paleto Bay. Instead of only having one option on the rotating cylinders that spell out a word, there's several colours that all have a different effect on the police chasing the truck. You can cut engines, jam the accelerator on, gimp the steering or blast the cops with loud music to prevent them from running the truck off the road.
Team 1 of driver and shotgun •Fight your way through security and safely steal the vehicle carrier. •Get it on the highway and deliver the load to Paleto Bay. •If you take too much damage the load comes undone and the mission is failed. Team 2 hackers •Track down the van carrying the telematic data of police vehicles. •Take the van to a safe place. •Hack police vehicles until the star wanted is gone. If the truck uncouples or reaches its destination before the wanted is clear the mission is failed. •If you destroy the van carrying the documents the mission is failed.
Mission 11 – Cutting it Fine 2 to 4 players
The last cars on the list, finally. If this whole things couldn't get any messier it appears that the Koreans and the Los Santos Triads are going to cost us our lives at the last hurdle. It looks like Ming might have cut them in on the list so they're fighting over a Pegassi Zentorno and a Truffade Adder we need. The stubbornness between the gangs means that if one can't have it then neither can have it. On top of this we've pretty much pissed every other gang off in LS and Blaine so expect them to give you hassle if you come into contact. Get out there, save those vehicles and come back alive. We didn't come this far to fuck it up.
•Each car has a timer and a health bar relative to the cars health. If either the timer or the health bar gets to zero before the vehicles are delivered to Rockford Hills LSC the mission is failed.
Mission 12 – Mr Ming 2 to 4 players
This is it. We go down to the Terminal and present the cars to Mr Ming himself. Here's hoping all the hard work we put in makes him have mercy on me and my brother Hinn.
•Drive down to the Terminal with Hao and Hinn and present the cars to Ming.
Ming steps out of his Armoured Limo and inspects the wares before dropping the bomb. Ming Jr is still alive and set Hinn up because he kept beating him in the illegal races they'd participated in and as a result was in massive debt and brought great shame on the family. Just before they (the crew) decide to run waves of enemies made upon stealing the scores of cars the crew are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
•Survive the waves of enemies until a further plan is hatched •Force Ming and Ming Jr back into the Armoured Limo by keeping them under heavy fire. •Take a picture the the Armoured Limos license plate. •Survive more waves of enemies until the telematic data can be found. •Use the cellphone app to lock the Ming's in the back of the Armoured Limo. •Steal the Armoured Limo and take it to Davis Quartz Quarry. •On the drive to the Quarry, note that even explosions cannot destroy the Armoured Limo. •Defend against the final waves while hiding behind the Armoured Limo. •Use the Cutter that's used for mining the walls of the quarry to rip through the Armoured Limos defence and get revenge on the Ming's.
Completing this mission unlocks the Armoured Limo, a heavily armoured version of the Dundreary Stretch that is impervious to pretty much anything you can throw at it. Performance is awful and it's impossible to shoot from the windows whilst riding in it to balance it out from being too powerful.
New Cars Dinka Sarakin Vapid Sasquatch Benefactor Feltzer Racecar Coil Mantaray Grotti Cheetah 80's Obey Deluxo 80's Pegassi Infernus 80's Bravado Banshee 80's Armoured Limo
New Weapons Katana Blade
Thanks for taking time to read this. I know it was long and I appreciate that you took the time to read what I have created. Any replies are welcome, even TL;DR ones. :)

All of the MPAA/CARA-rated films of 2006 (out of the 5,008 films released worldwide that year.)

Bambi II (Director: Brian Pimental)
Cars (Directors: John Lasseter + Joe Ranft)
Charlotte’s Web (Director: Gary Winick)
Comic Evangelist (Directors: Daniel Jones + Dann Sytsma)
Curious George (Director: Matthew O’Callaghan)
Doogal (Directors: Dave Borthwick, Jean Duval + Frank Passingham)
Elephant Tales (Director: Mario Andreacchio)
Epiphany: The Cycle Of Life (Director: Ali Hossaini)
Everyone’s Heros (Directors: Colin Brady, Christopher Reeve + Dan St. Pierre)
Franklin and the Turtle Lake Treasure (Director: Dominique Monfery)
Modern Man (Director: Justin Swibel)
Shark Bait (Director: Howard E. Baker, John Fox + Kyung Ho Lee)
Stanley’s Dinosaur Round-Up (Director: Jeff Buckland)
Strawberry Shortcake: The Sweet Dreams Movie (Director: Karen Hyden)
The Gig (Director: Jason Leo Baguio)
The Legend Of Sasquatch (Director: Thomas Calicoat)
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (Director: Michael Lembeck)
The Wild (Director: Steve “Spaz” Williams)
Urmel aus dem Eis (Directors: Reinhard Klooss + Holger Tappe)

A Broken Sole (Director: Antony Marsellis)
A Merry Little Christmas (Directors: John Dowling, Jr. + Karl Fink)
A Sacred Proof (Director: Yehuda Freeman)
Aimee Semple McPherson (Director: Richard Rossi)
Akeelah + The Bee (Director: Doug Atchinson)
Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker (Director: Geoffrey Sax)
Always Will (Director: Michael Sammaciccia)
Amazing Grace (Director: Michael Apted)
Aquamarine (Director: Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum)
Arthur + The Invisibles (Director: Luc Besson)
As You Like It (Director: Kenneth Branagh)
Azur + Asmar: The Princes’ Quest (Director: Michel Ocelot)
Barnyard (Director: Steve Oedekerk)
Beautiful Dreamer (Director: Terri Farley-Teruel)
Believe In Me (Director: Robert Collector)
Bonneville (Director: Christopher N. Rowley)
Brothers Two (Director: Jennifer Tadlock)
Casi casi (Directors: Jaime Vallés + Tony Vallés)
Christmas At Maxwell’s (Director: William C. Laufer)
Church Ball (Director: Kurt Hale)
Collier + Co. (Director: John Schneider)
Conversations With God (Director: Stephen Deutsch)
Crusade In Jeans (Director: Ben Sombogaart)
Deck The Halls (Director: John Whitesell)
Dog Lover’s Symphony (Director: Ted Fukuda)
Eight Below (Director: Frank Marshall)
Eragon (Director: Stefen Fangmeier)
Everest E.R. (Directors: Brad McLain + Sean McLain)
Faith Like Potatoes (Director: Regardt van den Bergh)
Feliz Navidad (Director: Michael Baez)
Fire Creek (Director: Jed Wells)
Flicka (Director: Michael Mayer)
Flushed Away (Directors: David Bowers + Sam Fell)
Garfield II: A Tale Of Two Kitties (Director: Tim Hill)
Glory Road (Director: James Gartner)
Goose On The Loose (Goose!) Director: Nicholas Kendall)
Guadalupe (Director: Santiago Parra)
Happily N’Ever After (Directors: Paul Bolger, Yvette Kaplan + Greg Tiernan)
Happy Feet (Directors: George Miller, Warren Coleman + Judy Morris)
Hoot (Director: Wil Shriner)
How To Eat Fried Worms (Director: Bob Dolman)
How To Stoppie (Director: Drew Umland)
I’ll Believe You (Director: Paul Francis Sullivan)
Ice Age: The Meltdown (Director: Carlos Saldanha)
Invincible (Director: Ericson Core)
Love’s Abiding Joy (Director: Michael Landon, Jr.)
M For Mother (Director: Rasool Mollagholi Poor)
Material Girls (Director: Martha Coolidge)
Milarepa (Director: Neten Chokling)
Miss Potter (Director: Chris Noonan)
Monster House (Director: Gil Kenan)
My Bad Dad (Director: Mack Polhemus)
Nacho Libre (Director: Jared Hess)
Naming Number Two (Director: Toa Fraser)
Night At The Museum (Director: Shawn Levy)
Offside (Director: Jafar Panahi)
One Night With The King (Director: Michael O. Sajbel)
Opal Dream (Director: Peter Cattaneo)
Open Season (Directors: Roger Allers, Jill Culton + Anthony Stacchi)
Outlaw Trail: The Treasure of Butch Cassidy (Director: Ryan Little)
Over The Hedge (Directors: Tim Johnson + Karey Kirkpatrick)
Penelope (Director: Mark Palansky)
RV (Director: Barry Sonnenfeld)
Red Riding Hood (Director: Randal Kleiser)
Return with Honor: A Missionary Homecoming (Director: Michael Amundsen)
Reunion (Director: Sheila Norman)
Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles (Directors: Dong-Wook Lee + Tommy Yune)
Rocky Balboa (Director: Sylvester Stallone)
Saving Shiloh (Director: Sandy Tung)
Sea Of Dreams (Director: José Pepe Bojórquez)
Secret Of The Cave (Director: Zach C. Gray)
Spymate (Director: Robert Vince)
Stalking Santa (Director: Greg Kiefer)
The Ant Bully (Director: John A. Davis)
The Blue Elephant (Directors: Kompin Kemgumnird + Tod Polson)
The Celestine Prophecy (Director: Armand Mastroianni)
The Genius Club (Director: Timothy A. Chey)
The Lake House (Director: Alejandro Agresti)
The Nativity Story (Director: Catherine Hardwick)
The Pink Panther (Director: Shawn Levy)
The Race Begins (Director: Edward Fu)
The Shaggy Dog (Director: Brian Robbins)
The Thief Lord (Director: Richard Claus)
The Ultimate Gift (Director: Michael O. Sajbel)
The Water’s Edge (Director: Robin Conly)
The Work and the Glory III: A House Divided (Director: Sterling Van Wagenen)
The Year My Parents Went on Vacation (Director: Cao Hamburger)
Think Tank (Director: Brian Petersen)
Unaccompanied Minors (Director: Paul Feig)
Unidentified (Director: Rich Christiano)
Vitus (Director: Fredi M. Murer)
We Are Marshall (Director: McG)
When I Find The Ocean (Director: Tonya S. Holly)
Zoom (Director: Peter Hewitt)

PG-13

16 Blocks (Director: Richard Donner)
A Good Year (Director: Ridley Scott)
A Lobster Tale (Director: Adam Massey)
A Prairie Home Companion (Director: Robert Altman)
ATL (Director: Chris Robinson)
Accepted (Director: Steve Pink)
Al Qarem (Directors: Affandy Yacoob + Ajmal Yourish)
Alien Autopsy (Director: Jonny Campbell)
All You’ve Got (Director: Neema Barnette)
All The King’s Men (Director: Steven Zaillian)
American Dreamz (Director: Paul Weitz)
Annapolis (Director: Justin Lin)
Antonia (Director: Tata Amaral)
Assphalt Assassins (Director: Brian Bourke)
Avenue Montaigne (Director: Danièle Thompson)
Away From Her (Director: Sarah Polley)
Bacterium (Director: Brett Piper)
Bandidas (Directors: Joachim Rønning + Espen Sandberg)
Bella (Director: Alejandro Monteverde)
Bienvenido paisano (Director: Rafael Villaseñor Kuri)
Big Momma’s House II (Director: John Whitesell)
Blind Dating (Director: James Keach)
Blind Love (Director: Janghun Troy Choi)
Bolly Double (Director: Petrichor Bharali)
Broken Bridges (Director: Steven Goldmann)
Broken Sky (Director: Julián Hernández)
Canvas (Director: Joseph Greco)
Casino Royale (Director: Martin Campbell)
Catch A Fire (Director: Phillip Noyce)
Catch + Release (Director: Susannah Grant)
Chalk (Director: Mike Akel)
Chocolate Rap (Director: Chi Y. Lee)
Citizen Duane (Director: Michael Mabbott)
Click (Director: Frank Coraci)
Color Of The Cross (Director: Jean-Claude La Marre)
Comeback Season (Director: Bruce McCulloch)
Copying Beethoven (Director: Agnieszka Holland)
Crossover (Director: Preston A. Whitmore II)
DOA: Dead Or Alive (Director: Corey Yuen)
Date Movie (Directors: Aaron Seltzer + Jason Friedberg)
Déjà vu (Director: Tony Scott)
Dirty Laundry (Director: Maurice Jamal)
Disappearances (Director: Jay Craven)
Domestic Import (Director: Kevin Connor)
Dreamgirls (Director: Bill Condon)
Driving Lessons (Director: Jeremy Brock)
Ella At Five (Director: David Quinn)
Employee Of The Month (Director: Greg Coolidge)
Evil Behind You (Directors: Jim Carroll + Jason Kerr)
Eye Of The Dolphin (Director: Michael D. Sellers)
Facing The Giants (Director: Alex Kendrick)
Failure To Launch (Director: Tom Dey)
Falling For Grace (Director: Fay Ann Lee)
Fearless (Director: Ronny Yu)
Firewall (Director: Richard Loncraine)
Flyboys (Director: Tony Bill)
For Your Consideration (Director: Christopher Guest)
Forget About It (Director: B.J. Davis)
Golden Door (Director: Emanuele Crialese)
Gray Matters (Director: Sue Kramer)
Gridiron Gang (Director: Phil Joanou)
Griffin + Phoenix (Director: Ed Stone)
Heavens Fall (Director: Terry Green)
Hookers, Inc. (Director: Tim Pingel)
I’m Not Stupid Too (Director: Jack Neo)
I’m Reed Fish (Director: Zackary Adler)
Irish Jam (Director: John Eyres)
It’s A Boy Girl Thing (Director: Nick Hurran)
Jade Warrior (Director: Antti-Jussi Annila)
John Tucker Must Die (Director: Betty Thomas)
Judges (Director: Stephen Patrick Walker)
Just Like The Son (Director: Morgan J. Freeman)
Just My Luck (Director: Donald Petrie)
Kalamazoo? (Director: David O’Malley)
Keeping Up With The Steins (Director: Scott Marshall)
Kenny (Director: Clayton Jacobson)
Kokoda: 39th Battalion (Director: Alister Grierson)
Lady In The Water (Director: M. Night Shyamalan)
Lage Raho Munna Bhai (Director: Rajkumar Hirani)
Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector (Director: Trent Cooper)
Last Holiday (Director: Wayne Wang)
Last Stop For Paul (Director: Neil Mandt)
Little Man (Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans)
Love + Debate (Director: Jessica Kavana Dornbusch)
Love + Honour (Director: Yôji Yamada)
Madea’s Family Reunion (Director: Tyler Perry)
Man Of The Year (Director: Barry Levinson)
Marie Antoinette (Director: Sofia Coppola)
Midnight Clear (Director: Dallas Jenkins)
Miriam (Director: Matt Cimber)
Mission: Impossible III (Director: J.J. Abrams)
Moonpie (Director: Drake Doremus)
My Best Friend (Director: Patrice Leconte)
My Brother (Director: Anthony Lover)
My First Wedding (Director: Laurent Firode)
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (Director: Ivan Reitman)
Nihon chinbotsu (Director: Shinji Higuchi)
Nina’s Heavenly Delights (Director: Pratibha Parmar)
Offshore (Director: Diane Cheklich)
One Last Dance (Director: Max Makowski)
Outsourced (Director: John Jeffcoat)
Passion + Brotherhood (Director: Drew Stone)
Peaceful Warrior (Director: Victor Salva)
Phat Girlz (Director: Nnegest Likké)
Pirates Of Treasure Island (Director: Leigh Scott)
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (Director: Gore Verbinski)
Pirates Of The Great Salt Lake (Director: E.R. Nelson)
Poseidon (Director: Wolfgang Petersen)
Priceless (Director: Pierre Salvadori)
Pulse (Director: Jim Sonzero)
Raising Flagg (Director: Neal Miller)
Relative Strangers (Director: Greg Glienna)
Rescue Dawn (Director: Werner Herzog)
Rounding Home (Director: Phillip Abatecola)
Scary Movie IV (Director: David Zucker)
School For Scoundrels (Director: Todd Phillips)
Scoop (Director: Woody Allen)
Sea Of Fear (Director: Andrew Schuth)
Seth (Director: Corbin Timbrook)
Seven Days Of Grace (Director: Don E. FauntLeRoy)
She’s The Man (Director: Andy Fickman)
Sixty Six (Director: Paul Weiland)
Something New (Director: Sanaa Hamri)
Starter For 10 (Director: Tom Vaughan)
Stay Alive (Director: William Brent Bell)
Step Up (Director: Anne Fletcher)
Stick It (Director: Jessica Bendiger)
Stranger Than Fiction (Director: Marc Forster)
Street Wok’n (Director: Eric Matyas)
Summer Sunshine (Director: David Kentwood)
Superman Returns (Director: Bryan Singer)
Take The Lead (Director: Liz Friedlander)
Tales From Earthsea (Director: Gorô Miyazaki)
Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby (Director: Adam McKay)
The Benchwarmers (Director: Dennis Dugan)
The Break-Up (Director: Peyton Reed)
The Covenant (Director: Renny Harlin)
The Da Vinci Code (Director: Ron Howard)
The Devil Wears Prada (Director: David Frankel)
The Ex (Director: Jesse Peretz)
The Fast + The Furious: Tokyo Drift (Director: Justin Lin)
The Final Inquiry (Director: Giulio Base)
The Flying Scotsman (Director: Douglas Mackinnon)
The Fountain (Director: Darren Aronofsky)
The Foursome (Director: William Dear)
The Garage (Director: Carl Thibault)
The Grudge II (Director: Takashi Shimizu)
The Guardian (Director: Andrew Davis)
The Holiday (Director: Nancy Meyers)
The Illusionist (Director: Neil Burger)
The Lather Effect (Director: Sarah Kelly)
The Little Things (Director: Stephen Padilla)
The Lives Of The Saints (Directors: Chris Cottam + Rankin)
The Marine (Director: John Bonito)
The Namesake (Director: Mira Nair)
The Novice (Director: Murray Robinson)
The Painted Veil (Director: John Curran)
The Prestige (Director: Christopher Nolan)
The Pursuit Of Happyness (Director: Gabriele Muccino)
The Queen (Director: Stephen Frears)
The Return (Director: Asif Kapadia)
The Sasquatch Gang (Director: Tim Skousen)
The Second Chance (Director: Steve Taylor)
The Sentinel (Director: Clark Johnson)
The Surfer King (Director: Bernard Murray, Jr.)
The Valet (Director: Francis Veber)
The Visitation (Director: Robby Henson)
The Wicker Man (Director: Neil LaBute)
Thr3e (Director: Robby Henson)
Tomorrow Is Today (Director: Frederic Lumiere)
Tristan + Isolde (Director: Kevin Reynolds)
Ultraviolet (Director: Kurt Wimmer)
Unbeatable Harold (Director: Ari Palitz)
Under The Sycamore Tree (Director: Shane Dean)
Vigilantes (Director: Trevor L. Smith)
Waltzing Anna (Directors: Doug Bollinger + Bx Giongrete)
When The Stranger Calls (Director: Simon West)
X-Men: The Last Stand (Director: Brett Ratner)
You, Me + Dupree (Directors: Anthony Russo + Joe Russo)
Zen Man (Director: Sang H. Kim)

.45 (Director: Garry Lennon)
10 Items Or Less (Director: Brad Silberling)
10th + Wolf (Director: Robert Moresco)
13: Game Of Death (Director: Chookiat Sakveerakul)
300 (Director: Zack Snyder)
5up 2down (Directors: Steven Kessler)
A Crime (Director: Manuel Pradal)
A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints (Director: Dito Montiel)
A New Wave (Director: Jason Carvey)
A Scanner Darkly (Director: Richard Linklater)
Abominable (Director: Ryan Schifrin)
After The Wedding (Director: Susanne Bier)
After... (Director: David L. Cunningham)
All In (Director: Nick Vallelonga)
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (Director: Jonathan Levine)
Alpha Dog (Director: Nick Cassavetes)
Alpha Male (Director: Dan Wilde)
Altered (Director: Eduardo Sánchez)
An Existential Affair (Director: Peggy Bruen)
Another Heist (Director: Sean Spoatcoat Brown)
Apocalypto (Director: Mel Gibson)
Art School Confidential (Director: Terry Zwigoff)
Ask The Dust (Director: Robert Towne)
Babel (Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu)
Backlash (Director: David Chameides)
Backwaters (Director: Jag Mundhra)
Bas Ek Pal (Director: Onir)
Basic Instinct II (Director: Michael Caton-Jones)
Battle Of The Warriors (Director: Chi Leung 'Jacob' Cheung)
Beer League (Director: Frank Sebastiano)
Beerfest (Director: Jay Chandrasekhar)
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (Director: Scott Glosserman)
Beyond The Wall Of Sleep (Directors: Barrett J. Leigh + Thom Maurer)
Big Bad Wolf (Director: Lance W. Dreesen)
Big Nothing (Director: Jean-Baptiste Andrea)
Black Book (Director: Paul Verhoeven)
Black Christmas (Director: Glen Morgan)
Black Snake Moan (Director: Craig Brewer)
Blood Diamond (Director: Edward Zwick)
Blood Trails (Director: Robert Krause)
Bobby (Director: Emilio Estevez)
Bon Cop Bad Cop (Director: Erik Canuel)
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Director: Larry Charles)
Bordertown (Director: Gregory Nava)
Breaking + Entering (Director: Anthony Minghella)
Broken (Director: Alan White)
Broken (Directors: Simon Boyes + Adam Mason)
Brutal (Director: Filip Chalatsis)
Bug (Director: William Friedkin)
Bullets, Blood + A Fistful Of Ca$h (Director: Sam Akina)
Caffeine (Director: John Cosgrove)
Candy (Director: Neil Armfield)
Candy Stripers (Director: Kate Robbins)
Canes (Director: Michael Bafaro)
Cargo (Director: Clive Gordon)
Cashback (Director: Sean Ellis)
Cattle Call (Director: Martin Guigui)
Children Of Men (Director: Alfonso Cuarón)
Chores (Director: Sonnie Hamner)
Chronicle Of An Escape (Director: Israel Adrián Caetano)
Civic Duty (Director: Jeff Renfroe)
Clerks II (Director: Kevin Smith)
Cloud 9 (Director: Harry Basil)
Colma: The Musical (Director: Richard Wong)
Come Early Morning (Director: Joey Lauren Adams)
Confetti (Director: Debbie Isitt)
Costa Chica: Confession OF An Exorcist)
Crank (Directors: Mark Neveldine + Brian Taylor)
Cravings (Director: D.J. Evans)
Crazy Eights (Director: Jimi Jones)
Crooked (Director: Art Camacho)
Curse Of The Golden Flower (Director: Yimou Zhang)
Cut Sleeve Boys (Director: Ray Teung)
Dangerous Flowers (Director: Poj Arnon)
Danika (Director: Ariel Vromen)
Danny Roane: First Time Director (Director: Andy Dick)
Dark Heart (Director: Kevin Lewis)
Dark Ride (Director: Craig Singer)
Day Watch (Director: Timur Bekmambetov)
Day Of Wrath (Games Of Swords) (Director: Adrien Rudomin)
Days Of Glory (Director: Rachid Bouchareb)
Dead Calling (Director: Mike Nichols)
Dead In 3 Days (Director: Andreas Prochaska)
Deadly Lessons (Director: Stuart Paul)
Death Ride (Director: Junichi Suzuki)
Death Of A President (Director: Gabriel Range)
Descansos (Director: J. Michael Kipikash)
Detroit (Director: Brian Lawrence)
Diary (Director: Oxide Chun Pang)
Diggers (Director: Katherine Dieckmann)
Dirty Work (Director: Bruce Terris)
Disorder (Director: Jack Thomas Smith)
Displaced (Director: Martin Holland)
Dominion (Director: Larry Anderson, Greg Myers, David Neilsen + Lia Scott Price)
Dominos: The Games We Play (Director: Nahala Johnson)
Dracula’s Curse (Director: Leight Scott)
Dreamland (Director: Jason Matzner)
Driftwood (Director: Tim Sullivan)
Efectos secundarios (Director: Issa López)
El Cortez (Director: Stephen Purvis)
El cantante (Director: Leon Ichaso)
Electric Apricot (Director: Les Claypool)
End Game (Director: Andy Cheng)
Even Money (Director: Mark Rydell)
Everything’s Gone Green (Director: Paul Fox)
Exiled (Director: Johnnie To)
Factory Girl (Director: George Hickenlooper)
Fade To Black (Director: Oliver Parker)
False Prophets (Director: Robert Kevin Townsend)
Farce Of The Penguins (Director: Bob Saget)
Fast Food Nation (Director: Richard Linklater)
Fat Girls (Director: Ash Christian)
Fatwa (Director: John Carter)
Fay Grim (Director: Hal Hartley)
Fido (Director: Andrew Currie)
Final Contract: Death On Delivery (Director: Axel Sand)
Final Destination III (Director: James Wong)
Final move (Director: Joey Travolta)
Find Me Guilty (Director: Sidney Lumet)
Fingerprints (Director: Harry Basil)
First Snow (Director: Mark Fergus)
Five Fingers (Director: Laurence Malkin)
Flags Of Our Fathers (Director: Clint Eastwood)
Flannel Pajamas (Director: Jeff Lipsky)
For Sale By Owner (Director: Pritesh Chheda)
Forgiving The Franklins (Director: Jay Floyd)
Freedomland (Director: Joe Roth)
Friends With Money (Director: Nicole Holofcener)
Fuera del cielo (Director: Javier “Fox” Patrón)
Full Clip (Director: Mink)
Funny Money (Director: Leslie Greif)
Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus (Director: Steven Shainberg)
G.I. Jesus (Director: Carl Colpaert)
Gente Comun (Director: Ignacio Rinza)
Gone (Director: Ringan Ledwidge)
Goya’s Ghosts (Director: Milos Forman)
Grad Night (Director: Michael T. Fitzgerald, Jr.)
Grandma’s Boy (Director: Nicholaus Goossen)
Greed (Director Ron Wolotzky)
Grilled (Director: Jason Ensler)
Grimm Love (Director: Martin Weisz)
Gringo Wedding (Director: Tas Salini)
Guilty Hearts (Directors: George Augusto, Savina Dellicour, Phil Dornfeld, Ravi Kumar, Benjamin Ross, Paul Black + Krystoff Przykucki)
Half Light (Director: Craig Rosenberg)
Half Nelson (Director: Ryan Fleck)
Hatchet (Director: Adam Green)
High Hopes (Director: Joe Eckardt)
Holla (Director: H.M. Coakley)
Holly (Director: Guy Moshe)
Hollywood Dreams (Director: Henry Jaglom)
Hollywoodland (Director: Allen Coulter)
Home Of The Brave (Director: Irwin Winkler)
Homie Spumoni (Director: Mike Cerrone)
Honor (Director: David Worth)
Hood Of Horror (Director: Stacy Tile)
Hot Tamale (Director: Michael Damian)
How To Go Out On A Date In Queens (Director: Michelle Danner)
I Love Miami (Director: Alejandro González Padilla)
I Served The King Of England (Director: Jiri Menzel)
I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With (Director: Jeff Garlin)
Idiocracy (Director: Mike Judge)
Idlewild (Director: Bryan Barber)
In Her Line Of Fire (Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith)
In A Dark Place (Director: Donato Rotunno)
In ascolto (Director: Giacomo Martelli)
Incubus (Director: Anya Camilleri)
Infamous (Director: Douglas McGrath)
Inland Empire (Director: David Lynch)
Inside Man (Director: Spike Lee)
Ira + Abby (Director: Robert Cary)
Irresistible (Director: Ann Turner)
Islander (Director: Ian McCrudden)
Jimmy + Judy (Director: Randall Rubin + Jonathan Schroder)
Jindabyne (Director: Ray Lawrence)
Johnny Was (Director: Mark Hammond)
Joshua (Director: Travis Betz)
Journey From The Fall (Director: Ham Tran)
Journey To The End Of The Night (Director: Eric Eason)
KM31: Kilometre 31 (Director: Rigoberto Castañeda)
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (Director: Karan Johar)
Karla (Director: Joel Bender)
Kettle Of Fish (Director: Claudia Myers)
Kidulthood (Director: Menhaj Huda)
Kill Your Darlings (Director: Björne Larson)
Killing Down (Director: Blake Calhoun)
Kiss Me Again (Director: William Tyler Smith)
Kisses + Caroms (Director: Vincent Rocca)
Lady Chatterley (Director: Pascale Ferran)
Land Of The Blind (Director: Robert Edwards)
Last Sunset (Director: Michael Valverde)
Legit (Director: James W. Boinski)
Lenexa, 1 Mile (Director: Jason Wiles)
Let’s Go To Prison (Director: Bob Odenkirk)
Letters From Iwo Jima (Director: Clint Eastwood)
Lies + Alibis (Directors: Matt Checkowski + Kurt Mattila)
Like Minds (Director: Gregory Read)
Lime Salted Love (Directors: Danielle Agnello + Joe Hall)
Little Chenier (Director: Bethany Ashton Wolf)
Little Children (Director: Todd Field)
Little Miss Sunshine (Director: Jonathan Dayton + Valerie Faris)
Live Feed (Director: Ryan Nicholson)
Live Free Or Die (Directors: Gregg Kavet + Andy Robin)
Local Color (Director: George Gallo)
London To Brighton (Director: Paul Andrew Williams)
Lonely Hearts (Director: Todd Robinson)
Look @ Me (Director: Todd Wade)
Los Gringos (Director: Daniel Zubiate)
Los pajarracos (Directors: Hector Hernandez + Horacio Rivera)
Lost Signal (Director: Brian McNamara)
Love Comes To The Executioner (Director: Kyle Bergersen)
Love Is The Drug (Director: Elliott Lester)
Love + Other Disasters (Director: Alek Keshishian)
Lucky Number Slevin (Director: Paul McGuigan)
Man About Town (Director: Mike Binder)
Maple Palm (Director: Ralph Torjan)
Memory (Director: Bennett Davlin)
Mentor (Director: David Langlitz)
Mercury Man (Director: Bhandit Thongdee)
Miami Vice (Director: Michael Mann)
Mini’s First Time (Director: Nick Guthe)
Minotaur (Director: Jonathan English)
Moscow Zero (Director: María Lidón)
Mr. Fix It (Director: Darin Ferriola)
Mr. Hell (Director: Rob McKinnon)
Mulberry St. (Director: Jim Mickle)
Nailed (Director: Adreian O’Connell)
Never On A Sunday (Director: Daniel Gruener)
Night Feeders (Director: Jet Eller)
Night Of The Living Dead in 3-D (Director: Jeff Broadstreet)
Nightmare Man (Director: Rolfe Kanefsky)
No Regret (Director: Hee-il Leesong)
Notes On A Scandal (Director: Richard Eyre)
Novel Romance (Director: Emily Skopov)
O Jerusalem (Director: Élie Chouraqui)
Off The Black (Director: James Ponsoldt)
Only The Brave (Director: Lane Nishikawa)
Open Water II: Adrift (Director: Hans Horn)
Open Window (Director: Mia Goldman)
Ouija (Director: Khaled Youssef)
Pan’s Labyrinth (Director: Guillermo del Toro)
Paprika (Director: Satoshi Kon)
Paris, je t'aime (Directors: Olivier Assayas, Frédéric Auburtin, Emmanuel Benbihy, Gurinder Chadha, Sylvain Chomet, Joel Coen, Isabel Coixet, Wes Craven, Alfonso Cuarón, Gérard Depardieu, Christopher Doyle, Richard LaGravenese, Vincenzo Natali, Alexander Payne, Bruno Podalydès, Walter Salles, Oliver Schmitz, Nobuhiro Suwa, Daniela Thomas, Tom Tykwer + Gus Van Sant)
Park (Director: Kurt Voelker)
Penny Dreadful (Director: Richard Brandes)
Perfect Creature (Director: Glenn Standring)
Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (Director: Tom Tykwer)
Plasterhead (Director: Kevin Higgins)
Played (Director: Sean Stanek)
Pledge This! (Directors: William Heins + Strathford Hamilton)
Premium (Director: Pete Chatmon)
Pretty Cool (Director: Rolfe Kanefsky)
Psychopathia Sexualis (Director: Bret Wood)
Pu-239 (Director: Scott Z. Burns)
Pucked (National Lampoon’s) (Director: Arthur Hiller)
Puff, Puff, Pass (Director: Mekhi Phifer)
Push (Director: Dave Rodriguez)
Quinceañera (Directors: Richard Glatzer + Wash Westmoreland)
Rainbow Raani (Director: Harbance Kumar)
Raising Jeffrey Dahmer (Director: Rich Ambler)
Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders (Director: Chris Fisher)
Re-cycle (Director: Danny Pang + Oxide Chun Pang)
Read On (Director: Jeff Faulkinbury)
Renaissance (Director: Christian Volckman)
Reprise (Director: Joachim Trier)
Right At Your Door (Director: Chris Gorak)
Rocker (Director: Lauren Patrice Nadler)
Running Scared (Director: Wayne Kramer)
Running With Scissors (Director: Ryan Murphy)
S&Man (Director: J.T. Petty)
Sakebi (Director: Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
Sam’s Lake (Director: Andrew C. Erin)
Sasquatch Mountain (Director: Steven R. Monroe)
Satanic (Director: Dan Golden)
Saw III (Director: Darren Lynn Bousman)
Scenes Of A Sexual Nature (Director: Ed Blum)
Scorpius Gigantus (Director: Tommy Withrow)
Séance (Director: Mark L. Smith)
Section 8 (Director: Carl Gilliard)
See No Evil (Director: Gregory Dark)
Seraphim Falls (Director: David Von Ancken)
Serum (Director: Steve Franke)
Severance (Director: Christopher Smith)
Shadow: Dead Riot (Director: Derek Wan)
Sherrybaby (Director: Laurie Collyer)
Shock To The System (Director: Ron Oliver)
Silent Hill (Director: Christophe Gans)
Simon Says (Director: William Dear)
Sisters (Director: Douglas Buck)
Skinwalkers (Director: James Isaac)
Sleeping Dogs Lie (Director: Bob Goldthwait)
Slither (Director: James Gunn)
Smashes, Bashes + Crashes (Director: Drew Stone)
Smokin’ Aces (Director: Joe Carnahan)
Snakes On A Plane (Director: David R. Ellis)
Soul’s Midnight (Director: Harry Basil)
Southern Justice (Director: M.D. Selig)
Southland Tales (Director: Richard Kelly)
Special (Directors: Hal Haberman + Jeremy Passmore)
Splinter (Director: Michael D. Olmos)
State’s Evidence (Director: Benjamin Louis)
Steel City (Director: Brian Jun)
Stephanie Daley (Director: Hilary Brougher)
Stormforce (Director: Hans Herbots)
Striking Range (Director: Daniel Millican)
Subject Two (Director: Philip Chidel)
Suburban Mayhem (Director: Paul Goldman)
Summer Love (Director: Piotr Uklanski)
Surf School (Director: Joel Silverman)
Surveillance (Director: Fritz Kiersch)
Sweet Insanity (Director: Daniel Hess)
TV: The Movie (National Lampoon’s) (Director: Sam Maccarone)
Tekkonkinkreet (Director: Michael Arias)
Ten ‘til Noon (Director: Scott Storm)
Tenacious D in “The Pick Of Destiny” (Director: Liam Lynch)
That Beautiful Somewhere (Director: Robert Budreau)
The 9/11 Commission Report (Director: Leigh Scott)
The Abandoned (Director: Nacho Cerdà)
The Architect (Director: Matt Tauber)
The Astronaut Farmer (Director: Michael Polish)
The Beach Party At The Threshold Of Hell (Directors: Jonny Gillette + Kevin Wheatley)
The Black Dahlia (Director: Brian De Palma)
The Bondage (Director: Eric Allen Bell)
The Boys + Girls Guide To Getting Down (Director: Paul Sapiano)
The Breed (Director: Nicholas Mastandrea)
The Butcher (Director: Edward Gorsuch)
The Butterfly Effect II (Director: John R. Leonetti)
The Choke (Director: Juan Mas)
The Clique (Director: David Basulto)
The Contract (Director: Bruce Beresford)
The DaVinci Treasure (Director: Peter Mervis)
The Darwin (Director: Finn Taylor)
The Dead Girl (Director: Karen Moncrieff)
The Deepening (Directors: Ted Alderman + Jim O’Rear)
The Departed (Director: Martin Scorsese)
The Devil Wears Spurs (Director: Charlton Thorp)
The Dog Problem (Director: Scott Caan)
The Drop (Director: Kevin Lewis)
The Elder Son (Director: Marius Balchunas)
The Elephant King (Director: Seth Grossman)
The Entrance (Director: Damon Vignale)
The Fall (Director: Tarsem Singh)
The Far Side Of Jericho (Director: Tim Hunter)
The Foot Fist Way (Director: Jody Hill)
The Girl On The Stone (Director: Marisa Sistach)
The Good German (Director: Steven Soderbergh)
The Good Shepherd (Director: Robert De Niro)
The Good Student (Director: David Ostry)
The Gravedancers (Director: Mike Mendez)
The Groomsmen (Director: Edward Burns)
The Hamiltons (Directors: Mitchell Altieri + Phil Flores)
The Hard Easy (Director: Ari Ryan)
The Heart Specialist (Director: Dennis Cooper)
The Hills Have Eyes (Director: Alexandre Aja)
The History Boys (Director: Nicholas Hytner)
The Hoax (Director: Lasse Hallström)
The Host (Director: Bong Joon Ho)
The Hottest State (Director: Ethan Hawke)
The House (Director: David Krae)
The House Of Usher (Director: Hayley Cloake)
The Hunt (Director: Fritz Kiersch)
The Insurgents (Director: Scott Dacko)
The Kovak Box (Director: Daniel Monzón)
The Last Drop (Director: Colin Teague)
The Last King Of Scotland (Director: Kevin Macdonald)
The Last Kiss (Director: Tony Goldwyn)
The Last Request (Director: John DeBellis)
The Last Time (Director: Michael Caleo)
The Lives Of Others (Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck)
The Marsh (Director: Jordan Barker)
The Night Listener (Director: Patrick Stettner)
The Night Of The White Pants (Director: Amy Talkington)
The Oh In Ohio (Director: Billy Kent)
The Omen (Director: John Moore)
The Other Side (Director: Gregg Bishop)
The Pumpkin Karver (Director: Robert Mann)
The Science Of Sleep (Director: Michel Gondry)
The Sensation Of Sight (Director: Aaron J. Wiederspaphn)
The Shadow Walkers (Director: Mark Steven Grove)
The Situation (Director: Philip Haas)
The Slaughter (Director: Jay Lee)
The Still Life (Director: Joel Miller)
The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll + Mr. Hyde (Director: John Carl Buechler)
The System Within (Director: Dale Resteghini)
The TV Set (Director: Jake Kasdan)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (Director: Jonathan Liebesman)
The Tiger’s Tail (Director: John Boorman)
The Tripper (Director: David Arquette)
The Unknown Woman (Director: Giuseppe Tornatore)
The Virgin Of Juarez (Director: Kevin James Dobson)
The Wedding Weekend (Director: Bruce Leddy)
The Witches Hammer (Director: James Eaves)
The Woods (Director: Lucky McKee)
The Zombie Diaries (Directors: Michael G. Bartlett + Kevin Gates)
Them (Ils) (Directors: David Moreau + Xavier Palud)
They’re Just My Friends (Director: Attika Torrence)
Thieves + Liars (Director: Ricardo Méndez Matta)
Things That Hang From Trees (Director: Ido Mizrahy)
Things You Don’t Tell... (Director: Alex Melli)
Tired Of Kissing Frogs (Director: Jorge Colón)
Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (Director: Mike Clattenburg)
Trapped Ashes (Directors: Sean S. Cunningham, Joe Dante, John Gaeta, Monte Hellman + Ken Russell)
Troubled Waters (Director: John Stead)
True True Lie (Director: Eric Styles)
Turistas (Director: John Stockwell)
Twisted Sisters (Director: Wolfgang Büld)
Two Tickets To Paradise (Director: D.B. Sweeney)
Two Weeks (Director: Steve Stockman)
Ugly Me (Director: Claudio Dabed)
Unconscious (Director: Bradley Wigor)
Under Surveillance (Director: Dave Campfield)
Underworld (Director: Len Wiseman)
Undisputed II: Last Man Standing (Director: Isaac Florentine)
Undoing (Director: Chris Can Lee)
United (Director: Paul Greengrass)
Unrest (Director: Jason Todd Ipson)
Valentina’s Tango (Director: Rogelio Lobato)
Vampire Diary (Directors: Mark James + Phil O’Shea)
Van Wilder II: The Rise Of Taj (National Lampoon’s) (Director: Mort Nathan)
Vengeance (Director: Gil Medina)
Vengeance (Director: Pleo Sirisuwan)
Venus (Director: Roger Michell)
Volver (Director: Pedro Almodóvar)
Voodoo Curse: The Giddeh (Director: Glenn Plummer)
Wages Of Sin (Director: Aaron Robson)
Waist Deep (Director Vondie Curtis-Hall)
Walker Payne (Director: Matt Williams)
Wango + Maloy (Director: Kristian Laslett)
Wasted (Director: Matt Oates)
Wedding Daze (Director: Michael Ian Black)
Whirlygirl (Director: Jim Wilson)
Who Made The Potatoe Salad? (Director: Coke Daniels)
Wicked Little Things (Director: J.S. Cardone)
Wild Seven (Director: James M. Hausler)
Wilderness (Director: Michael J. Bassett)
Wolfhound (Director: Nikolay Lebedev)
World Trade Center (Director: Oliver Stone)
Wristcutters A Love Story (Director: Goran Dukic)
Yellow (Director: Alfredo Rodriguez de Villa)

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Cleveland Parking; Jack Casino; Jack Casino: Notes. Club C and K Members Park Free Valet Only. Rate this lot. Reviews - Thank you so much for very experience valet drive - Lebron J. Submit Review. Show Occupancy Additional Information No reservable parking for this lot JACK Cleveland Casino, Cleveland: "How much is valet parking" | Check out 13 answers, plus see 7,333 reviews, articles, and 104 photos of JACK Cleveland Casino, ranked No.44 on Tripadvisor among 398 attractions in Cleveland. 18+ Full T&C's Apply New players Only. £10 min deposit. £5 max bet using bonus. 40 x wagering applies. Bonus valid for 14 days. 30 Spins on preselected games will be credited instantly + then 30 per Valet Parking At The Star Casino day for 9 days. Free Spins valid for 72 hours from credit. Jack Casino Cleveland Valet Parking their services. If, however, we can be of any help, don’t hesitate to contact the team of directly via Jack Casino Cleveland Valet Parking email with any queries you might have and on any topic. See 2 photos from 46 visitors to JACK Valet Parking. JACK Cleveland Casino, Cleveland: 'How much is valet parking' Check out 11 answers, plus see 7,303 reviews, articles, and 98 photos of JACK Cleveland Casino, ranked No.44 on TripAdvisor among 386 attractions in Cleveland. The drink waitresses that walk around are friendly and frequent. The casino itself is clean and modern looking. My favorite Print your parking voucher before exiting the casino. Simply earn 500 250 JACK Points OR play 1 hour of poker OR 30 minutes of table games and receive free parking. As always, you keep the JACK points. Find parking costs, opening hours and a parking map of JACK Casino Garage 2151 Ontario St as well as other parking lots, street parking, parking meters and private garages for rent in Cleveland ParkMe: The award-winning free app that helps you find the cheapest and closest parking around! Save money and get to your destination faster with ParkMe. We make parking easy. Valet parking is free on certain days/hours and you get the free valet parking passes through the Jack kiosks throughout the casino. I've never heard of the 'heat wave' special at the restaurants - that might have been on when Harrrah's ran the casino.

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My craziest police encounters - YouTube

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JACK Casino Garage - Parking Garage

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Wrestling Observer Rewind ★ Apr. 3, 2000