Data is taken from the Covid-19 portal and today's media availability with Premier Jason Kenney, Minister of Health Tyler Shandro, and Dr Deena Hinshaw. Dr Hinshaw's next availability it will be Monday.
There are currently enhanced measures in effect for the province of Alberta. This link provides a quick summary of which ones are in effect for different regions of Alberta. Alberta is currently on "Early Steps", with the goal of reaching Step 1 on February 8th.
Top line numbers:

For values where "Current" and "Total" are the same, I have left results under Total

Value	Current	Change	Total
Total cases	—	+543	123,364
Active cases	7,805	-236	—
Cases with "Unknown source"	1,129 (34.8%) in last 7 days	-49 (-0.3%)	—
Tests	—	+11,608 (~4.68% positive)	3,154,153
People tested	—	+3,029	1,749,944 (~400,353/million)
Hospitalizations	594	+3/-7 based on yesterday's post/portal data	5,326 (+33)
ICU	110	-2/-3 based on yesterday's post/portal data	858 (+7)
Deaths	—	+14	1,620
Recoveries	—	+765	113,939

Age Range of Deaths

Age Bracket	New Deaths	Total Deaths
20-29	0	7
30-39	1	8
40-49	0	18
50-59	0	51
60-69	1	164
70-79	3	321
80+	9	1,050
Unknown	0	1

Vaccinations

Value	Change	Total
Vaccinations	+1,803	104,327 (~23,868/million)
Albertans with 2 vaccinations	+1,680	14,352 (~3,283/million)

Reported UK and South Africa Variants

The value is updated by Alberta Health weekly
Last update: January 29

Variant	Change since last update (January 25)	Cases
United Kingdom (B.1.1.7)	+11	31
South Africa (B.1.351)	+1	6

Spatial distribution of people tested, cases, and deaths:

All other values are compared with respect to yesterday

Zone	Active Cases	People Tested	Total	New Cases	Total	New Deaths	Total
Calgary	3,138 (-64)	+1,203	708,112	+223	47,320	+1	505
Central	692 (-18)	+290	155,673	+67	8,777	+3	87
Edmonton	2,662 (-102)	+834	581,259	+155	51,266	+9	848
North	957 (-53)	+350	164,314	+58	10,049	+1	109
South	340 (+4)	+179	108,042	+39	5,822	+0	71
Unknown	16 (-3)	+173	32,544	+1	130	+0	0

Effective Reproductive Number (R, or Rt)

The value is updated by Alberta Health on Mondays
Last update: January 25
What % the confidence interval represents isn't stated

Zone	R Value (Confidence interval)
Province-wide	0.81 (0.79-0.84)
Edmonton	0.81 (0.77-0.85)
Calgary	0.83 (0.79-0.87)
Rest of Province	0.77 (0.73-0.82)

Spatial distribution of cases for select cities and regions (cities proper for Calgary and Edmonton):

City/Municipality	Total	Active	Recovered	Deaths
Edmonton	41,833 (+122)	2,134 (-87)	38,987 (+204)	712 (+5)
Calgary	39,762 (+185)	2,592 (-41)	36,718 (+225)	452 (+1)
Red Deer	1,844 (+17)	174 (+2)	1,651 (+14)	19 (+1)
Lethbridge	1,704 (+29)	133 (+15)	1,559 (+14)	12 (+0)
Fort McMurray	1,681 (+2)	92 (-10)	1,586 (+12)	3 (+0)
Brooks	1,361 (+0)	3 (-1)	1,344 (+1)	14 (+0)
Grande Prairie	1,150 (+7)	147 (-5)	984 (+12)	19 (+0)
High River + county	769 (+0)	24 (-3)	738 (+3)	7 (+0)
Mackenzie county	553 (+7)	40 (+4)	498 (+3)	15 (+0)
Medicine Hat	527 (+2)	21 (+0)	493 (+2)	13 (+0)
Cardston county	466 (+4)	83 (-7)	377 (+11)	6 (+0)
I.D. No 9 (Banff)	423 (+11)	29 (+11)	394 (+0)	0
Wheatland county	232 (+2)	14 (+1)	218 (+1)	0
Warner county	158 (+0)	6 (+0)	150 (+0)	2 (+0)
Wood Buffalo municipality	133 (+2)	9 (+2)	124 (+0)	0
Rest of Alberta	30,768 (+153)	2,304 (-117)	28,118 (+263)	346 (+7)

Other municipalities with 10+ active cases is given at this link
Schools with outbreaks are listed online.
Quick numbers (changes since yesterday):

114 school are on alert (2-4 active cases) (+4)
15 schools are on outbreak with 5-9 active cases (+2)
4 school is on outbreak with over 10 active cases (+0)

Spatial distribution of hospital usage (change as of yesterday's post):

Hospitalization zone are where the patient is receiving care, not zone of residence

Zone	Hospitalized	ICU
Calgary	199 (+8)	48 (+2)
Edmonton	246 (-9)	38 (-4)
Central	45 (-1)	7 (+0)
South	34 (+3)	8 (-1)
North	70 (+2)	9 (+1)

Statements by Premier Kenney
Opening Remarks

Alberta must continue to proceed cautiously
System is managing as a province, but some hospital facilities is still significant
Peak reached in early January (>90% Covid capable bed occupancy)
Problem in every region of the province as many rural regions are cared for in Calgary/Edmonton
All healthcare workers have limits and we must protect capacity
Notes (i) Peter Lougheed and Butterdome field units, (ii) AHS having no budget limits at the moment, and (iii) limited staff available

Restrictions

Recognizes that stress that comes with economic and employment instability
Why a "lockdown" has never been imposed with curfews, closed schools, and business closure
Broad public support and compliance is important
To strike this balance, wants to show a path forward...that bending curve lets public health measures lift
Must be carefully, slowly, and data driven

Restriction Metrics

Restrictions will be lifted in a stepped approach based on hospitalizations (ICU and general acute) values. It is a lagging indicator of healthcare capacity
When a benchmark is reached, discussion will be considered for further advancement of relaxation. Hospitalizations will be primary factor, but growth of cases will also be considered
Hospitalizations will be reviewed 3 weeks later. If hospitalizations have continued to fall, further progression will be considered
Case numbers represent recent trends and will be used to determine if relaxations need to be paused or if additional restrictions are needed
If cases surge to exponential growth and if a variant begins to increase spread, restrictions will be imposed again

Details of Relaxation Plan

Some restrictions will apply in all steps and at least 3 weeks are place in between each step
Early Steps: Schools open, outdoor gatherings up to 10 people, personal and wellness by appointment only, funerals up to 20 people
Step 1 - Begins February 8th: Some easing in school function (indoooutdoor sports, performance activities), some indoor fitness, some dine-in options for restaurants/cafes/pubs bound by clear limitations (e.g. - distancing requirements, group size, masking, etc).
Step 2 - Requires: Average hospitalization <450: Some easing for retail, banquet halls, community halls, hotels, conference centres. Some further easing on children sports/performance, indoor fitness
Step 3 - Requires: Average hospitalization <300: Consider places of worship and limited reopening of museums, libraries, casinos, and indoor seated events. Consider indoor indoor social gatherings with limitations. All that are considered will have restrictions still
Step 4 - Requires: Average hospitalization <150: Restrictions will exist, but will be closer to last summer. Wide range of indoor and indoor activities would be considered. Wedding/funeral receptions, trade shows, are on the table at this point
Requires buy in from Albertans
As measures are eased, community spread can occur
Moving from 1 stage to another will not be automatic - it will be open for discussion
Leading indicators will be used to warn of "red flags" for pausing relaxation

Closing Remarks

Minister of Jobs Doug Schweitzer will make announcements for support in coming days
Hopes that this will be a boost to Albertans and Albertan businesses
We are not at the end and it will be a while until we see a real effect from vaccines. Variants add to the challenge
This is not "back to normal" and if we think so, we'll start rolling back steps of the above plan again

Q&A

There are people who willingly ignore restrictions. What should be done here?: Enforcement is last resort. Regrettable to see that people are doing this and it is disrespectful to healthcare staff; they are saying they are more important than healthcare and can hurt the entire province. Understands the frustration, but things won't improve if people continue to break rules. Calls politicians who support ignoring restrictions "irresponsible" and thinks stronger enforcement is required
(Upon prompting, Dr Hinshaw added that most Albertans are following restrictions and cannot let the minority dictate the actions of the majority - more compliance results in higher potential for restrictions down the road)
How much decision making is politics in UCP strongholds?: Decisions in Covid cabinet are data driven. One factor is population compliance; polling say it's about 20% of Albertans think restrictions are too stringent, 40% say it's about right, 40% not strong enough (believes there is no strong consensus). Believes vast majority of Albertans are compliant
Who will get delayed with limited vaccine doses?: Defers to Minister Shandro. Notes he is worried about EU restricting exports of vaccine and asks federal government put pressure on Pfizer
(Minister Shandro: Still reviewing. Will follow recommendations of health officials and defers to Dr Hinshaw)
(Dr Hinshaw: Risk of severe outcomes driven. Still need to review)

Statements by Dr Hinshaw
Cases

~12% of schools have active cases (607 cases combined)
Active cases in 291 schools
12 cases of variants identified: 31 UK total, 6 from South Africa
All but 3 linked to travel and from same household (1 was the community spread case)
No evidence of further community spread

Relaxations

Knows many Albertans are keen to return to activities they have missed
Most important step will be following restrictions in spirit
If in-person interactions can be replaced, cases will further reduce and prevent spread of variants

Q&A

What data is being used for deciding Step 1?: Uses BC as an example for successful limited service in these activities and did study of where spread can occur. Group fitness events are high spread (especially high intensity). Opening for fitness will be to bar high intensity fitness. Opening only low risk parts (e.g. - only a single household at a table). More information next week.
(Premier Kenney added that global data was used)
How much did Covid variant affect this plan?: Key part of plan is followed by 3 weeks of observation. A part of the 3 week timeline is to monitor for rising cases. This will allow for monitoring
How confident are you in containing variant?: Concerning in case identification. Significant testing of incoming travellers has allowed for early containment of most cases
(Premier Kenney added: Concerned for widespread risk of variant. Also considers some positives in vaccines being rolled out and increased contact tracing)

Statements by Minster Shandro

Proud of progress of vaccination
Notes Moderna's cut; it feels like Alberta isn't a priority
Alberta Health was informed that it will reduce from 24,600 to 18,800 doses (5,800 fewer. ~23.5%)
Informed all February Moderna deliveries being accessed, so unknown how much Alberta will receive in that time
Accessing impact on first and second doses
Knows the frustration from Albertans and thinks new from federal governments continues getting worse
Wants a national strategy for vaccine supply

Q&A

Does reopening 1 week from now contradict previous comments from Dr Hinshaw/Minister Shandro?: 2 important messages about "stepping up and stepping down". Trying to show Albertans how it could happen and separate from message of potential for further restrictions if cases spread further
(Upon request from Minister Shandro, Premier Kenney added: The approach is very gradual and are already available in neighbouring provinces of BC and Saskatchewan. Will monitor closely as to best balance multiple pressure on the province. Notes mental health has worsened because of economic stresses for business owners)
(Dr Hinshaw was asked to add by Premier Kenney: Notes that significant restrictions will exist in the sectors that reopen. But to get more than that will take more work from Albertans to reduce cases and hospitalization)

Additional information will be logged below:

The final question was for Premier Kenney in French. While I cannot translate, the reporter stated it was about the compliance of Albertans on vaccines.

Prosper, a crosschain prediction app with working platform and ridiculously low cap

Back in december I came across a small project called Prosper.
#Prosper is a prediction market project, just like augur, only much, much better.
First of all i'll precise that I am not a member of the project. I'm just smone who does his homeworks and likes to help :)
I looked into it superficially and it seemed there was potential so I kept an eye on it until public sale. That is until they canceled public sale to replace it with a mining event, essentially putting their prediction platform to live testing. I decided to participate and mine $PROS. That's when I got convinced this had tremendous potential.
I’ll let you hop onto their platform at beta.prosper.so to check by yourself how predictions work, it’s pretty straightforward. You choose a pool amongst the proposed (currently BNB and ETH, many more to come) and predict whether the price will be above or below the ticker displayed. There you go, 2 clicks and you’re in. The predictions are currently closed until next event, which should happen soon.
So what makes me think it’s just a wonder in the making? here is what:

1. The team:

- The team is composed of some of the guys from Prometeus labs (which is a backer of the project btw). Their LinkedIn and twitters are public, they make AMAs etc. We’re dealing with some serious guys, settled in the crypto industry for years.
- More importantly, their mindset is what convinced me. They’re very focused on delivering their roadmap and more, seem to have a clear picture of where they want their product to go, and how to get there. They also have a good understanding of the tokenomics mechanisms of 2021 cryptos and understand the interest of creation and retention of value in the $PROS token.

2. The investors and backers:

You’ll find a list on the website, but the project seems to have very strong backing, from Prom labs ofc, but also from all the other projects they are working with such as chainlink, Polkadot, Matic etc. And then there is Binance, which is not officially listed, but it is clear to me that they are supporting as a part of the BSC ecosystem. I mean, what project gets listed on Binance when it’s like 3 weeks old ? because yeah , Prosper is listed on Binance already. Also the team is connected through Prometeus labs that has had its own token $PROM listed for years.
I would also highlight that their TG (https://t.me/prosperfi) has already 5k+ people and a growing engaged community. That just does not happen with shitcoin projects.

3. The project:

- The project is at the exact spot I’m seeing this bullrun hit:
- Crosschain on many altchains, and mainly BSC which is rocketing atm, but also Polygon (matic) and Polkadot.
- DEFI: although prediction markets are still a niche in the DEFI, someone you may know thinks they're deemed to take their share of this run (hint: he created Ethereum).
- Non Custodial: You make your predictions and claim your gains straight from / to you own metamask wallet (walletconnect will be implemented). Your keys, your money. Best thing? BSC will let you do that for a few pennies of fees.
- The DAO: team will let holders and community participate in the project governance. Will become pretty standard in the future of crypto projects, but we have here a DAO that took a huge decision in the very first week of its existence (see tokenomics section), and that is telling a lot about the strength of the project.
- It is alive and kicking: the platform has been launched and ran for several days as a beta. It saw tremendous volume (over 18.5 M USD) and generated over 355k USD in fees in less than 10 days. This is absolutely huge, espetially considering those fees are going back to the treasury, feeding the whole project as well as holders pockets.
-The UI is miles ahead of the competition. Let’s you literally place a prediction in two clicks.
- It has an open road to capture a good chunck of the Prediciton market: competition is either old news and outdated in technology (augur etc.), or just announced and very far from hitting the market (polkamarket etc.).
- It has many features on the roadmap, with the main being a mobile app (coming out soon), and sports bets. The team already leaked in an AMA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IB8s6GtVww) that they have secured a partnership with a huge sports betting site. Its is also developing a unique system of bet insurance, and the possibility for holders to open their own custom pools (i.e. be the casino).
- The platform is already ported in Chinese. The fact that china is a gambling addict and bet lover country is news to no one.
- Last but not least, they just announced that they will keep making mining events every time the project is ported to a new Blockchain, giving the opportunity to users to get the BC’s native token + to pro holders to pocket even more Pros. When does this stop getting better ??

4. The $PROS tokenomics:

- The Max supply is 100M $PROS. The circulating supply is currently about 4.5M.
Here is the repartition and unvesting schedule of the supply:
Investors: 4.57M Strategic + 3.4M Seed + 0.25M Presale + 2.01M Private :
½ released on UNI listing in Jan.2021
Seed round: 9 months of linear vesting (0,35% / day), starting from April 14th; Strategic round: 6 months of linear vesting, starting from April 14th; Private round: 8 months of linear vesting, starting from April 14th; Presale round: 3 months of linear vesting, starting from April 14th.
Marketing: 10M - 3 months lock-up, after — 10% per month.
Community funds: 5M - 6 months lock-up, after — 10% per month.
Reserves: 15M - Locked for urgent situations, the community will be notified in advance before unlock;
Ecosystem: 12M - 6 months lock-up, after — 25% every 3rd month.
Team: 13.38M - 1 year lock-up, 1 year linear vesting period;
Staking Rewards: 30M - Remain locked until the binary liquidity program an on-chain aggregation launch.
As you can see, we’re not having a cliff release, the team actually changed their initial plans to adopt linear unvesting and help protect the price of the token, and avoid dumps. Equally, DAO voted in the very first week to delay the start of unvesting by 2 full months in order to give time for product and features roll out. With a total of 99% yeses on the vote, it means that even investors probably voted to vest their own tokens longer, which means they’re in to support the project on the long term.

5. Use of the Token:

This is a very important part. As already said, team has taken good measures to increase the value and rewards of holding $PROS.
Amongst them are mainly the staking (team leaked: very very soon) and Liquidity providing. We don’t have announcement on that yet so I can’t tell more, but I’m feeling it will be huge as part of the fees collected by the platform will be redistributed to the stakers.
Another very interesting use is the DAO vote of course, and the future possibility for the holders to create their own prediction pools and earn fees from them. This is just one of the best use case I’ve ever seen for a token.
These are just the first and announced reasons to hold PROS, and with such low circulating tokens I’m expecting the demand to ramp up pretty fast.

So these were all the infos on Prosper and $Pros I have, feel free to DYOR :
Website : https://prosper.so/
Prediciton platform : https://beta.prosper.so/
Medium : https://medium.com/pooler
Main telegram channel: https://t.me/prosperfi
Buy $PROS on Binance https://www.binance.com/en/trade/PROS_ETH
And
UNISWAP https://info.uniswap.org/token/0x8642a849d0dcb7a15a974794668adcfbe4794b56
Before you go I’ll try and help you with one last thing: lets say you saw the value in the project, here is an interesting last info :
#Prosper is currently below 10M market cap.
Which is ridiculously low for such project.
Main competitor is at 160M, and is way behind on pretty much all topics.
It is currently one of the very lowest cap listed on Binance.
As for the price ? Although it keeps going up at a reasonable pace, i would say that it has a lot of room to grow upward from the consolidation phase it has had for 2 weeks now. The team announced some staking news for as soon as this week-end, and i'm expecting it to move the price considerably.

JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #5 - Round 3 Match 11 - Tiger "Glitch" Ricky and Effie Linder vs Bucket and Alexis Williams

The results are in for Match 9. The winner is…
William Eyelash, with a score of 68 to Jacob Brown’s 68, tie broken by a higher ‘categories taken’ count!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	The Graveyard Shift	16-13
Quality	The Graveyard Shift	22-20	Reasoning
JoJolity	Masters of Funky Action	20-25	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

William Eyelash had taken the lead in this match, and though as a leader, he hadn’t done the best job, getting Jack visibly injured, as a combatant, he had managed to withstand the aggressive and area-painting onslaughts of himself from not so long ago, and of a much more experienced version of the partner he’d once had.
It had made him catch his breath, reflect on all that had come to this point, to recall that moment where Ocean Eyes had been the one to embrace and protect him.
“Yes… I understand now,” William answered, walking carefully through the snow, “you had something good going there, Jacob Brown, but… Y-you didn’t seriously think I would fall for tricks like those coming from my own Stand, did you?” Didn’t even know it could do all that, though… Even now, I can still grow, huh?
That put a smile on his face, then, as he approached the injured Jack, helping him up. “You still with us?”
“Hee hee, I’ll peachy keen as peachy cream in a little while… But right now I’m very much hurting yes.” Jack chuckled, resting his eyes and looking things over. “In the end, though… I called that other me in the hoodie an impostor, but he knew my Stand better than I did. He was even more me than me… What does that mean?” He looked down. “Am… Am I the lie?”
“I, uh… I don’t know how to answer that,” William said, “but… You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. And, uh… You helped me out a ton. Sorry for getting you hurt, uh, not that used to leading, but you really seemed to trust in me…”
“We all make mistakes!” Jack said, not minding that at all, “but… I suppose you’re right. I won’t let some stranger get in my head… But I guess that all of us were telling the truth in our hearts, then.” He looked to the defeated ‘Billy’ and the slightly-older Jacob, both bleeding and unconscious, the latter falling much faster. Already, a strange white blob was moving through the snowfield towards them, examining them. “So I guess we spare them today... if they survive what we’ve given already!”
Neither would realize it for another few minutes, but for Jacob Brown, those words had proven prophetic.
“S-still though… If you’ve really lived a full life here, become the same person with the same Stand, same memories,” William said, “does that mean that can just… Happen? But how, wh-when really, by probability and stuff…”
“So is the unusual burden of ‘Fate,’ felt strongest upon this city,” a familiar, altered voice spoke, and sitting on a park bench, William and Jack spied none other than the Institute’s head, still heavily layered as he always was.
“Oh No…” William muttered.
“‘Oh no?’ Is this a problem of a person?” Jack asked, then giggled. “Heeheh, just a little joke. I know about the Institute, of course!”
“The ‘Fortuna Double’ might exist at any point in time, for any Stand User from outside its walls, and no matter how irreconcilable the circumstances, how ‘impossible’ it should be for two people to have the same fated path, even for the slight differences of the city… The ‘Same Person’ can unquestionably exist. Wouldn’t be surprised if you, ‘Jack,’ and this ‘Billy’ here were simply the first you encountered who were close enough to your age that you immediately noticed.” No tilted his head. “Why, even that cute creature who followed the elder Jacob Brown is, literally, the same being as the Bert that just died… Yet, unlike them, bound still by fate. I wonder, then, what will prove to be the same, to be indomitable ‘fate,’ and what will prove not so.”
“I think sometimes about if I’ve ever had one here… Or will, in the future. That sounds utterly boring if so, though. I refuse to know my fate; it’s vexing enough of a limit on myself that I’m burdened by, knowing it’s predetermined to exist at all.”
“Uh… Right.” This was heavy, huh? William tried to figure out what it all meant. “Fortuna Doubles, huh… So they’re both real, completely and absolutely, then?”
“Precisely!” No remarked, cheerily. “Would you like to speak more about this? Go on, sit with me.”
Only a few hours remain still in your window of time to vote in a match between an Agnes and some Guy in a crowded concert hall brought down to size.
Scenario:
Alexis Williams was sinking.
Every day, the myriad of matters which plagued the outwardly-cheerful woman’s mind seemed to be growing worse and worse. The unhealthy relationship she’d had with her Stand had turned into an even worse sort of tension, a fundamental disconnect with an aspect of herself which she literally could not be away from.
It hadn’t been uncommon for some time for her to wonder if a given day would be her last. Over the last several months, those feelings had only grown and grown in their intensity, in their power over her, and it had even begun to show outwardly.
It wouldn’t be long now, surely, before-
Alexis’ hotel room door was kicked so hard that one of the hinges flew off, and through it launched, not an attacker like she might have imagined, some hostile Stand User out to invade her home, but something arguably even worse.
“ALEXIS!”
Her friend and fellow Eighth Circle mainstay, Bucket.
She clutched her forehead and forced a smile, turning away from what she’d been using to get through the day and towards him. Already, she could tell that the chaos agent, formerly known for the octopus on his head, now sporting sick sarashi and a pompadour, was here with intentions ranging from ‘good’ to ‘no intentions whatsoever,’ and it wasn’t in her nature to tell someone like that to fuck off.
“Bucket! Hey!” She said, an edge to her chipper tone. “You, uh, surprised me there… You’re gonna fix that door, right?” She blinked. “Wait, weren’t you at that Metra show? I thought I’d heard everyone there was shrunk down to-”
“Forget about that!” He answered, earnestly drawing closer, grasping her by the wrists suddenly, yet at once gently. “Alexis, I don’t know what’s going on with your head or heart or anything else, but I know I can’t just stand around outside your door watching you get more and more miserable! Even I noticed, so it must be really really bad whatever’s hurting you inside! I’m an acolyte of the boogie now, the example of Rudolf Pavlova, so I can’t let a friend be in need!”
“Rudolf…” Alexis had heard of his passing, so soon after helping her put on such a wonderful show, and been unsurprised. Wait, though, since when did Bucket- Ah, never mind. She shook her head, looking him in the eye. The highly chaotic, unstable hellraiser of the Judecca Highrollers was giving her puppy-dog eyes. “Did… Did you want to do something?”
“Yes! I want to make you better!” Bucket exclaimed, pulling away and bouncing upwards. “So c’mon! Let’s head out… Make some trouble, follow no rules but our own and to be happy!” He stopped, then, pulling back a moment, as if reading the room once again, folding his arms over his chest. “I mean, if you want to.”
Alexis thought it over. He meant well, clearly, and wished dearly to cheer her up… A person didn’t need to understand the nuances of the soul to see when a person was hurting, and to reach out for them.
She doubted it would make things better for her, but who’s to say it needed to be?
“That sounds great,” she said, relaxing her forced cheer slightly and nodding. “Maybe it’s what I need right about now.”
The Woods at Aurelio - Midday - Near the Northern Bridge
“So you’re sure that he’s got a base out here?”
“Crystal clear!” Tiger ‘Glitch’ Ricky answered Effie Linder, tilting her head one way and then the other as she and her Stand attempted to scope out the sounds of the area. “There was only basically one cop left and then Ugo made them quit, took the place over, paid them off… So now he just sorta comes and goes around that little old ‘empty’ police station!”
“If he hangs out at the town’s police station,” Effie asked, confused at her coworker’s demeanor, “then why are we out this far away from it?”
“Because!” Glitch answered, huffing and folding her arms. “I said he comes and goes! And prrobably isn’t there right now. Mrr, you’re the one who wanted to come out here with me, so let’s keep searching!”
“…” Effie nodded. “You know what, fair enough. He never was the type to stay still long, so looking where the Watch is going would be a start…”
Since that day she fought that shithead twink Agnes and that Italian twink Arpeggi at Tigran Sins’ casino, Glitch had been gradually, increasingly mulling over the idea of becoming something not so much unlike the latter… A vigilante, out to not just cause problems on purpose, but sometimes even solve them on purpose, in the way a Stand User knew best: shenanigans and violence.
Hearing about the way that Ugo McBaise had sabotaged the capture of the very villains whose challenge had inspired her to act, had directly gotten people killed and responsible for dangerous people staying at large, that felt like reason plenty to break out ‘shenanigans and violence’ on him.
Effie caught her on the way out, and had said then, “what, am I gonna wait around for Fira to send me on some bullshit errand? If you’re turning that piece of shit’s head concave, I’m in too.”
And so, enthusiastically, Effie had joined, and the pair had been circling the outskirts of town atop Vida Loca ever since, Effie also using her murder of crows for further observations than what her eyes alone could tell her.
Glitch’s ears perked, as did her Stand. “…something’s up ahead. A bunch of people hanging out by the river…”
“Hm? Yeah, I think I see it!” Effie remarked, producing a pair of binoculars to look that way. “VALKYRIE guys… You know what that means up here, don’t you?”
Though most of the company fell in line with Rushen Smith’s new leadership, it was something of an open secret that Ugo McBaise had very specifically drilled the former Neighborhood Watch, which had become a new unit of the company, into being loyal to him, not to his rank. Fears being stoked about the potential of ANVIL going to war with the town was all that kept them from being disbanded outright, feeling that people familiar with the area were best-suited for watching it.
Glitch hissed. “Alright, then, you know what we’ve gotta do!”
“Wait, it looks like they’re being talked through something by…” Effie adjusted the binoculars, peered through the crowd, and recognized a very identifiable vest… and a bald head, shining in the midday sun. “Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones had been having a good few weeks himself, ever since his earlier, very successful outing with Dread. It had ended in him successfully acquiring not just any ‘Memento,’ but perhaps one of the city’s most dangerous, and the life-fearing compliance of the kidnapped alleged immortal who led it to him, taught him its secrets.
Apparently some kitty somewhere was sad about that, but eh, when you’re making an omelette, yeah?
“Wait wait wait,” he said affably to the crowd of VALKYRIE agents he’d once called a neighborhood watch, “you say a guy in a blue pomp and a dancer’ve been… Spray painting your cars? Throwin’ dead fish at ya? Sprayin’ ink to get away?” He snickered. “You’ve had a hell of a morning with this prankster pair, then, if they keep givin’ you the slip.”
“Please, Mr. Jones,” a young man said as he continued to wipe fish guts off of his helmet visor, “I… I know, technically, you aren’t our leader anymore, that the bosses don’t like you much, but.” He sniffled, earnestly. “But you’ve always been so good to us, even since then! You’ve been loyal to us, and we still love you for it, no matter what they say you did!”
“Heheh… Hearin’ you say that makes it worth it, y’know that?” Mr. Jones wiped a finger under the eye of his sunglasses, looking them over. “Think I know who might be the whodunnit-er here, actually. Just gimme a hot minute to track the guy down, and-”
“Got a lot of nerve talking to my men, Jones.”
Everyone went silent, then, at the sound of a hammer, for dramatic effect, being dragged along the pavement of the road, then swung in the air by an absolute cinderblock of a man.
“You got a problem, and you come running to him because he happened to be passing by? What happened to using your damn heads?” Ugo chewed his subordinates out, then, before looking to the neighborhood watch founder. “I think you’ve confused these people, Worm, by still keeping up that paternal reliable neighbor shit. They’ve all been taught well and good that they listen to me, not some replacement,” he pointed his hammer forward, then, threateningly, “and sure as hell not some serial killing scum!”
“Now now now, Ugo, c’mon, it’s clear they like us both, yeah? So let’s just… Clear the confusion up, if y’care that much!” Mr. Jones reached for the sabre sheathed at his side, then, drawing it with a golden sheen; he’d fished it out of the wreckage of Capital Island one day after it wasn’t destroyed in Jack’s ritual. He, too, pointed it forward. “I know the language you speak, so let’s talk in that.”
Ugo grunted, then, swinging his hammer back over his shoulder as a very feminine form appeared behind him, looking like something of a curvy, thickset cowgirl. “Aw, Ugo and I concur, y’all know we’re down t’bash some heads and take a name or two! Why, sugar, we’re about to put you down like a sick dog!”
Mr. Jones got a snicker out of the odd word choices of ‘She’s a Big Boy,’ finding the contrast between Stand and User in all but their brutal aggression amusing; sometimes he’d tried in the past to talk to him and unpack what the Stand actually said about Ugo’s soul, but it was a conversation the very straightforward, taciturn former football star never quite liked to have.
Jones gestured with his head, then. “Watch, get back to HQ, yeah? Whoever you see walk through that door, few hours from now, respect that, yeah?”
“Uh… S-sure?” The ex-Watch member who’d been speaking said, turning around. “C’mon, guys, let’s get pizza or something… I guess.”
Alexis had been sitting by the bank of the Wormwood River, mulling over the shenanigans Bucket had encouraged her to join in with, ever since she’d happened to spot all the Watch members they’d been harassing seemingly surround somebody; it was an action which led Bucket to say ‘just gimme a minute’ before diving into the water.
It was a shame, honestly. This harmless problem causing had actually been kind of fun, in a way.
Bucket splashed up soon after. “I knew it!”
“Knew what?”
“There was this bald guy talking to all the VALKYRIE guys about all our awesome pranks, and then that no-good bastard Ugo showed up and they started slugging it out and moving towards a sewer grate. And then, you wouldn’t believe it… The bald guy turned into Conqueror Worm!”
That gave Alexis pause, then. He was here? “We… We should probably go somewhere else, then! If people out there are fighting, I want no part in it whatsoever… And you probably shouldn’t anger guys like that either.”
“I can’t just turn away from this, Alexis! I’m here to cheer you up, and that guy… When he helped kidnap you, that’s when you started to feel even worse! So, I’m going to roll up there, give him my fiercest look possible, and make him apologize for being mean to you.”
That… Wasn’t where Alexis was expecting Bucket to end that sentence, but it made her sigh, momentarily. Her mood was good and ruined now anyway by these revelations, and Bucket was suggesting something dangerous nonetheless. “Look, Bucket, not everybody is good-natured, okay? You can’t just walk up to somebody and-”
“But I will!” Bucket insisted, flexing. “Because I have the power of ‘the boogie’ on my side, don’t you get it? This will cheer you so far up! You don’t even need to come along if you don’t want, because I dunno I might punch Ugo a bit if he hits first! But either way, you will get your apology, I swear it!”
Then, Bucket ran off. To confront two very dangerous brick shithouses of men. In a sewer.
“He’s going to get himself killed…” Alexis felt awful now, standing and looking Southward. She could just leave, couldn’t she? Bucket even said he wasn’t expecting her to follow when it could turn into a fight… In the end, were humans not all fated to fall victim to their own mistakes, their own vices and eccentricities?
…I can’t just leave a friend like that, even if I’m feeling bad.
“Bucket!” Alexis called, beginning to run after him. “Wait up for me! I’m coming along too! Let’s… Get that apology!”
She was having to babysit the guy who came to help her out, now, was that it?
“Ghhgh, it’s a two-for-one special on the worst in the city, isn’t it?” Glitch complained, trailing Effie down a ladder into the sewers. “First we’re tailing Ugo, and then Mr. Jones, and now they’re fighting… I don’t even know who’s worse!”
“One’s a serial killer, and yeah super dangerous,” Effie pointed out, “and the other keeps getting a lot of other people killed with his own dangerous stupidity… Keeps causing us problems, and helped escalate that warzone. I don’t like being an enemy of ANVIL, Glitch… I really don’t.”
“Mmrhh… They’re gonna get a piece of our best attacks.”
The pair, then, touched ground, and Effie saw around them the signs of battle, of pieces of the ground seemingly terraformed, nicked, busted-up, and the sounds of clashing in the distance. Undoubtedly them.
Then, though, as they stepped forward, soon after, a pair literally dropped down behind them, one after the other, first a scarred, pompadoured idiot doing a cool roll, then a redheaded gymnast landing coolly not far behind.
“Wait a minute… Bucket? And, uh, that performer from that thing everyone liked… Alexis Williams?” Effie remarked, backing away a bit, trying to figure out the pair’s intentions. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, you know!” Alexis tilted her head, very blatant in how forced the chipper tone had become, especially by the nature of what she’d said next. “Losing control of my life, letting weird things get out of hand… But I’m here now. I’ve committed to my choice, and I hear sounds further back. So, Bucket! Let’s get a move-on, yeah? I don’t particularly care much for being in a sewer…”
Bucket, however, had been unmoving since he had begun to stand. Glitch, too, faced directly his way, allowing him to look her in the eye as a strange expression came over them both.
Effie and Alexis, then, were deeply confused, until Vida Loca appeared, and the sounds of beatboxing seemed to fill the air.
“Wh-” Effie was taken aback. “Glitch, we’ve got something going on here. You’re not seriously going to-”
“Hey fishman, the cat’s here to catch ya / Tiger ‘Glitch’ Ricky on the mic comin’ atcha / In a hotel or a diner or even a sewer / My rhymes gonna run you through like a skewer!”
This was physically painful for Alexis to watch. She covered her mouth as she prepared for Bucket to open his, well aware that half of their social circle was probably going to slap him for whatever came out.
“Name’s Bucket, B-U-C-K-E-T / Got beat but came back now with the Boogie! / Was chasin’ a killer but this fish can still school you / With my friend Alexis here, my rhymes’ll hit true!”
“…hit true?” Alexis couldn’t help but find that groan-inducingly hilarious, though her momentary joy, then, was cut short by the fact that Effie, meanwhile, was absolutely seething.
“C’mon, do this literally any other time!” She exasperatedly proclaimed, tugging at Glitch’s arm, “we can’t let those assholes get away, c’mon, you know we need to cut this out and-”
Bucket threw a fish at Effie’s face.
Everyone went silent, then, as it slid off and hit the ground, her own expression dry with displeasure.
“Did… Did you just throw a fish at me?”
“Yeah! Because you keep ruining the vibes!” Bucket huffed. “So cut it the hell out, or I will do it again!”
“Really now,” Effie said, keeping her hand by her slingshot and beginning to walk further Southward. “If you keep distracting us, I’ll have to get you out of our way.”
One of Bucket’s massive knives, then, was drawn, blade resting centimeters from Effie’s face. “Don’t threaten me, alright? That’s completely against the spirit of this.”
Glitch hissed, then, her own mood ruined, “hey! You can’t just pull a weapon on my friend like that, even if she’s being a spoilsport! That’s way over-the-line!”
As both sides fell back, not losing sight of the other as they attempted to pull away and regroup, it was clear that three-fourths of the quartet had been angered enough at one another in an instant that a fight was about to brew.
Alexis had been deliberately trying not to send out her Stand this entire time, wanting some semblance of mental distance from it after their disagreements had turned increasingly mean, her literal fighting with herself and grappling with her demons leaving her wanting absolutely none of this.
Bucket was about to get himself killed over, easily, the stupidest thing she had ever seen a fight start over.
This day has gone from sad to fun to the most frustrating I have ever seen… I tried to make a good day out of it, but here I am now. I can’t just abandon Bucket after he tried for me… But boy is he trying me.
OPEN THE GAME!
(Credit to CaptainSpooky27 for yet more awesome match art!)
Location: One of Los Fortuna’s sewer pathways, specifically far on the Northwestern outskirts of the town of Aurelio. These are one of the many entrances to the elaborate and interconnected underground networks of the city, though you’re in a pretty straightforward section of it that doesn’t branch off all that many surprising ways.
Not far South from here, but distant enough that it won’t ever affect this match, you can hear the sounds of a simultaneous battle between Mr. Jones and Ugo McBaise.
The area here is 63 meters by 33 meters with each tile being 3 by 3 meters. With TGS on the left and JHR on the right, represented by their character tokens.
The light grey tiles are the concrete paths, the darker grey tiles are the walls, and the blue tiles are sewer water. The walls are solid all the way through.
The sewer itself is actually relatively clean here, as clean as underground sewer water can be really. The water level is about 1 foot below the walkways and the water is 3 meters deep.
The ceiling is 4 meters above the walkways and the walkways have cheap metal guardrails between themselves and the water, as represented by the bolded outlines. The orange rectangles are the metal bridges between the walkways and the yellow circles are open manhole covers with light streaming through. The grey triangles are strange stalagmite-like protrusions, likely somehow created by Ugo and Jones’ fight. They match the same material as the stone walls, take up most of the walkway in width, and reach up to the ceiling.
Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information: Logic is allowed to kill me(Kak) and both of the players who made me write this.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Judecca Highrollers	Bucket	"Are you mocking me? You went into the ground with your zipper? Are you copying me?" This whole thing has gotten so absolutely lame, that it’s killed your attempts to cheer your friend up and to have an awesome rap battle. So these guys are lame, and need to feel it! Make sure to find creative ways for your strategy to humiliate your opponents!
Judecca Highrollers	Alexis Williams	“You think that you can escape my punches when you're surrounded by walls of dirt?” Bucket’s gotten people into another frustrating situation by not thinking, huh? Well, you’ll get him out of this in one piece by using your head. Use this underground sewer environment to your advantage!
The Graveyard Shift	Effie Linder	“They say that sound reverberates better in liquids than in solids.” Seriously, Glitch? Seriously? Well, at least as long as you’re in this gnarly sewer, you can get something out of it by using your head. Use this underground sewer environment to your advantage!
The Graveyard Shift	Tiger “Glitch” Ricky	"Do you think you stand a chance against me by going underground?!" So now you and your opponents are going to be trying to one-up each other, huh? Bucket is an immensely clownable guy, dammit, and you were so hyped to do so verbally… Make sure to find creative ways for your strategy to humiliate your opponents!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
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JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #5 - Nix Ripa and Arthur Lifeson vs Cairo Satori

The results are in for Match 10. The winner is…
Ananas “Agnes” Bayley, with a score of 72 to Guy Manuel-Mota’s 69!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	BADD GUYS	18-12
Quality	Suburban Regalia	22-23	Reasoning
JoJolity	Suburban Regalia	22-24	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

Amidst the sea of concrete snow that the stage had become, egged on by Agnes’ unusual encore request that Metra had agreed to, the killing intent of the self-styled villain and master mixologist had won out against the comparable brutality of the affable mercenary who had tried to take his life with just as much brutality.
The crowd, though annoyed by being utterly doused in carbonated everything, literally tossed around, literally watching their fellow partygoers exsanguinated and turned into meat puppets, did not allow it to ruin their fun, cheering on for Metra and her eclectic song choices. Agnes hopped off the makeshift surfboard he’d constructed, his opponent cut to pieces and speared and speared to hell, and it a testament to the sheer resilience of Guy-Manuel Mota that, even in such a gored, pulverized state, his opponent wondered if he was actually dead.
Regardless, he wasn’t getting back up, or reassembling, or pulling any more surprises or attempts to play possum. Realizing that it was over, Agnes was shaking. Breathing heavily. Hints of tears started to form in his eyes… but before he had a chance to cry, he arched back, laughing into a sea of concrete snow.
He’d won again.
“There you go, Metra, your show is saved or whatever,” he said with a mocking flippancy as she left the crowd to meet him backstage, “and I didn’t even kill any of these guys who paid to see you… They’ll just have to deal with sticky-wet clothes and some broken limbs.”
“Can’t believe this happened again… And I just had no choice but to keep singing and dancing.” Metra rubbed her hands on her arms, shaking her head. “I’m sick of this shit… I thought it was all almost over, but it’s just going to be forever in this city, huh?”
“Probably,” Agnes said, still half-laughing through a strained face, “just a constant, encroaching wave of ‘despair’ every waking moment… Way I see it, either you ride that shit as far as you can, or you let yourself drown. Doesn’t make a difference to me which you do.”
He glanced up at the ceiling then, cupping his hands. “Hey, fuckers! I won now! I beat the guy you sent! Get on the biggering or I’ll burn your casino down again!”
The game had, in fact, been won, and Agnes and Metra were the first to start to be free of its grasp, along with the spiked and bloodied separated bits of Guy, still pulsating ambiguously.
“He’s out for blood.” Tigran declared, warning the others Entertainment District highrollers observing, as he produced a deck of cards. “My Stand can’t hold him at that size much longer… But this whole place is about to be flooded with people, too. Duck into somewhere, and get away in the confusion.”
He spoke authoritatively, and even his sole superior, Fox, complied with his wishes after an urgent glance. “I… I’ll come for you! I promise I will!”
Tigran didn’t hear much more of that, then, beyond the sounds of Pork Soda’s Stand cry amplified by sonic boosts courtesy of Metra Doria. He fought impressively with little more than a deck of cards, but even then, could only buy his friends the seconds they needed to get away, live to gamble another day.
Tigran “Golden” Sins, User of ‘The Grid
Retired!
Face broken in nearly a dozen places by Agnes and TD/MD, the 48 year-old owner of Heartache Casino would be very quickly interned at Red Clay penitentiary, Metra insisting that her ally not kill him.
As thousands of confused concertgoers suddenly grew to full size and began to flood the halls of the Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater, the rest of his accomplices were able to escape the authorities yet again. Despite his extremely infamous protectiveness towards his face, he almost seemed to wear the damage with pride, knowing that this time, it represented having allowed the only man he considered greater than himself to run free yet again.
Red Clay Penitentiary - Industrial District
“Well, well, well, isn’t this a small world now? Tigran Sins, now in my care… Certainly less of a looker than I’d heard.” A dark-wavy-haired twenty-something sat snickering in the warden’s big swivel-chair, clad in a sleeveless velvet minidress, what of her flesh was exposed covered in flickering tattoos resembling closed eyes, flanked by uncanny-looking guards. “You don’t know me, but I’ve certainly heard of you… Of how you treated someone I hold dear very cruelly. Don’t you understand we’re all Stand Users trying to live our best life, Mr. Golden? I’m not the one who hurt you and threw you in here, and you’re not the one who said that I needed to be kept half-starved at all times so I couldn’t create anything.”
“Wh… Wait. Who the hell’re you?”
“Did my sweetheart never mention me, or do you just not pay attention to anyone but you and yours?” She leaned forward, bridging her fingers together. “I’m Palmer. I was a drama teacher at a small-town high school, but they kept overfunding football, one thing led to another, and now… I’ve got some serious vision.”
Tigran would be the last inmate admitted to Red Clay before a coup months in the making finally came to fruition.
Hey, yeah, Palmer! Remember that fun NPC? She was dating Mr. Jones and killed four people for him! Anyway, yeah, adjacent to him, an all-out meanspirited brawl in a sewer is taking place, feat. two chaotic clowns and two very frustrated young women.
What rotten luck this had been.
That leak, now of all days, when Being So Normal, Cairo Satori’s pet project that they had been slaving away at ever since setting foot in this series, had the deals with the devil that it had been built upon from the very beginning exposed for the world to see, and the city, which had loved every second of it before, had now been divided sharply between the loyal fans remaining and those protesting the entire thing, demanding the resignation of their producer, the cancellation of a show which had been picked up by so many streaming platforms, had already begun to make so much for the people who had made a livelihood of it all.
With the connection to Andrew Tiffany’s demise, even the oh-so-loyal Purple Flying Man resigned with only a short argument, and even the damage control removal of Caroline Jeffords, responsible for the worst of it, did little to contain the fact that Cairo knew about this, and Cairo allowed this to proceed nonetheless.
What, were they going to just throw it all away at the last minute? Ruin lives, tank companies, get how many people laid off? All over the failures of those close to them? Of course not.
“Cairo, dear,” the voice of that ever-troublesome producer, Million Dollars, muttered into a cell phone for them, “I’m going to need to go under the radar for awhile… People are beginning to look into my own affairs as well. But know that, as always, no matter what, you have my support. This show isn’t just a cash cow, Cairo… It’s an example. An example for the world to look to, and something for Stand Users to aspire to be better. I know you’re probably mad at us as well, but… You know that, don’t you?”
“Dollars… You’ve got a lot of nerve, trying to plead with me right now,” Cairo answered, tense in what had been their green room, sitting in the mall their producer had owned, “we definitely need to talk about our future… But we need to have one, too. Of course the show must go on… Nothing’s gonna jeopardize that!”
Free Viper Strip Mall, Suburban District
In recent times, the atmosphere at Free Viper was… somewhat dire. In fact, it had been on a rapid decline since that fateful day a couple months ago when Bert hijacked a ritual meant to challenge fate and did so, while murdering tens of thousands of people and injuring far more than that at the same time. Actually, Black Knight Penitentiary Album’s death and the realization that Remix was a serial killer came before that and weren’t very uplifting either, but what Bert did was somewhat hard to top.
Either way, the realization that he found one of the most morally bankrupt groups of people to team up with in Los Fortuna was one that Arthur Lifeson had reached not too long ago, and though it was somewhat of a painful thing to come to terms with, he had no choice but to do so and simply carry on. Bert had died, and the least Arthur could do from here on out would be to do his best to assist the city of Los Fortuna and bring justice to those who deserved it. The city certainly needed it, given all that was occurring right now.
For all the time Arthur spent in the city, he hadn’t gotten enough of note done yet… but that was soon to change. He had a plan in mind, one that would help keep the city and the world of stand users as a whole from devolving into further chaos. Before he could put it in place, however, he’d have to get some help.
Los Fortuna Shopping District, Sweet FA Mall - The Next Day
Nix Ripa had been in this city for months now, and in that time, all he had done was tear down walls, break buildings, break people who had dared to step all over the safety of others, of those too weak to bend fate to their whims.
It was despicable to him, and the icy Stand User was seething with hot rage. Those without the power to change the world themselves were pitiable, in their ways, yet at once, he knew they were not above help… That they needed to be driven higher, reach for the stars rather than wave to the heroes they saw in them!
When Arthur Lifeson discovered and contacted him, he did not hesitate to make his way to the megamall in which this was all set to culminate. Rather than in the comfortable solitude of the Black Hill Estate, where he could train without disruption, he’d even spent the night in an alley nearby, wanting to be able to spring out first thing in the morning!
When he did, then, as if on schedule, the older bearded man who had requested his help stood at the foot of Sweet FA, looking himself quite regal with that increasingly modified Medieval Times getup.
“Sir Ripa… It is an honor to meet in person, with yet another warrior of great acclaim.”
“Heh… I’ve seen you around,” Nix answered, stretching off the sleeping-on-a-dumpster aches and forcing out his hand, which Arthur, in turn, grabbed firmly, the pair locking fingers tightly and staring one another down intensely. “Did a damn fine number on those guys at this very mall awhile back… And it takes some guts to drive out into the Middle Finger for any reason! The mountains are where I do my most intense training of all!”
“Aye, I regrettably was fooled into following the glorious allure of Being So Normal… I lack even your good reason, of how you and your fallen brother-in-arms, Sir Rains, apprehended a true villain in the process of this fight, and even a black knight who would have put a past companion of mine to shame with her depravity.” He looked towards the space and shuddered. “The show, it refused to show the truth, but the wounds from that grueling battle, the burns… They were excruciating. That witch Jeffords, nothing she’s touched can be trusted as a truth to show the world.”
“So we’re in agreement then!” Nix said, finally letting the handshake go as Arthur’s hand began to grow numb, rolling his arms around and turning to face Sweet FA. “I looked into this place, their mission statement, their show, their producer… Set a good example my ass! They just want the whole damn world to think there’s nothing better than being a Stand User! That the ground we walk on should be kissed just for what we’ve got! Well… I’m no goddamn celebrity!”
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” Arthur agreed, “and this mockery… It will not do good for the world to learn of us this way. A knight’s honor is not something we seek for glory, for congratulation, but because there is no greater purpose than to slay evil, to protect those who cannot for themselves!”
“Heh… I like you. After this, we’re sparring ‘til one of us can’t move!”
Nix led the way in there, then, Arthur feeling pause for a moment at the sheer intensity of his companion. This was not of fear, however, or of a sudden feeling of inadequacy at someone so much younger, yet so much more driven than him.
Nay, he had been filled with more righteous determination than ever, and with a battle cry that led to a family with two kids in a stroller staring his way, he ran in after him!
…
…
As soon as they reached the main foyer of the mall, both of them realized, in tandem, and Nix spoke first, “…this place is huge as hell! Where do we even go to smash shit up?”
“I… That. That is a good point! Perhaps we should conduct a map kiosk, one which says ‘you are here!’ Ugh, those are always a pain to read…”
“I’ll help you.”
Both turned, then, to see a very fashionable teenager, clad in a purple aviator cap and goggles, slim and bearing a dour expression on his face. All who had hung around Cairo would recognize the Purple Flying Man from someplace or another, as well as all the extremely online and influencer-following of Los Fortuna.
“This show… They’ve done so much to capitalize on my uncle’s death. They’ve actively stopped the truth of whatever might have happened to him from being investigated with their frameup… And this conflict, I have lost two of my brothers to it all over again.”
He paused, then, and the two men seemed to trust him.
“You won’t be able to erase the show completely… It’s already had a limited run in this city. But masters, extra footage, content they were going to actually send out… There’s a storage space nearby… Most of the show’s data is backed up, of course, but that’s where everything is being saved. If your wish is to sabotage Being So Normal, to ruin its international release before it can cause any more harm to the outside world, that is where you go.”
“So you’ve had a change of heart yourself… I am thankful to hear that, Purple One…” Arthur snapped his fingers, then, as if remembering his name. “Right, now I remember! ‘Afton,’ wasn’t it?”
Purple’s face faulted. “Erm… N-no, eheh. It, uh… It wasn’t that. I haven’t been anything but ‘Purple’ for a very long time.”
“No matter what you’re called, an enemy of this show’s from within is just what we need to make this a little less of a pain in the ass!” Nix declared. “Lead the way!”
A Series of Backstage Halls Deep Within Sweet FA
Acrobatic and stealthy as he was, after leading the way in for those who had sought out this quest to begin with, Purple hurried along deeper inward, well aware that it was likely this place would not be unguarded, and meaning to scout ahead, maybe even fight a bit if he absolutely needed to.
He really, really did not want to, and so far, it wasn’t reassuring to him that nobody had interrupted them. No show staff, no Stand Users, not even some rent-a-cop had yet gotten into the way of this.
As he made his way to a security room, quietly bemoaning the fact that he would never live down infiltrating a security room with that damned nickname Bad Apples had given him, his worst fears were confirmed.
His friend, his confidante, Cairo Satori was sitting in a swivel chair, watching screens displaying the entire mall and idly leaning their head into a metal baseball bat.
“Purp…” They spoke up without even turning to face him. “Wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon! I mean, with everywhere you’ve blocked me, privated your accounts… I was under the impression you needed some time away from the show.”
Purple hopped down, then, walking closer towards the chair, clearing his throat and pondering his words clearly.
“The show needs time away from the show, Cairo… You know damn well why I brought myself back. Come on. You know this isn’t right… It doesn’t have to be this, and even just delaying could save-”
“Delay, huh?” They stood, twirling that bat they’d always carried around. It didn’t worry Purple. He’d never seen them actually using it. “C’mon… You know it’s not that simple, buddy. I’m just trying to make sure everyone has a good time… Already, I’m cutting toxic people out of the show! Even when they’ll make it harder to make anything going forward, Caroline is gone! I’ll keep that producer on a really short leash! I am doing everything in my power to make sure that this goes well… C’mon, can’t you look on the bright side?”
“You… You already know my answer to that. You’ve betrayed my trust, Cairo. The trust of my uncle, of everyone you’ve worked with… Of this whole city!” He shifted in place, then, becoming a much more avian humanoid figure with its pose. “I am its lavender courage, and I am your friend! And as both, I cannot abide by-”
Cairo swang their bat, and as they did, the arms of a Stand emerged from their own hand and struck it as well, multiple times in quick succession.
By the time the bat impacted Purple, it was with enough force for the deeply resilient eternally-young ghost to be sent hurtling towards a wall, literally impacting it hard enough to leave an impression in its form, embedded and unconscious in a single swing. He was alive, and would walk this off, but he wouldn’t be getting back up today.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” they said, standing with the bat over their shoulder, ‘Peach Pit’ manifesting more fully by their side (drawn by the artist Boy George, as usual), “but I can tell we don’t have time to chat… I’ll send you a gift basket from the launch party, yeah?”
Then, their attention turned towards the others on the security room screens, addressing their Stand in the meantime, “uh, hey, Peach…”
“I’m on it,” the Stand answered, “Arthur Lifeson and Nix Ripa… I’m excited for this, honestly.”
“And you don’t need to know that I am to, honestly…” Cairo moved to press the intercom button.
“I heard violence!” Nix called out, balling his fists. “Purple found someone!” He began to rush forward, then, Arthur preparing to make a blade, only to be stopped by the crackling of an intercom button.
“Hello again! Wow, it really isn’t all that often that Being So Normal has repeat appearances, but that’s, what, twice in this promotional cycle alone?” Cairo’s voice rang through, then, and they continued, “I figured we’d see some trouble here, so I gave most of staff the day off… I knew it’d be types like you two who showed up, and honestly, I gotta say, despite the circumstances, I’m a bit psyched!”
“Cairo Satori!” Arthur spoke up then, waving his hands. “Put this madness to a close, before I have to put you to my blade! You need not fall victim to this any longer… To fight us is a waste of time!”
“Well, I’ve got time to kill, and nobody to talk to, now that my friend’s taking a bit of a nap. And besides, you think I’m gonna just let you destroy everything we’ve been working to build up because you don’t like a couple of the crew members? C’mon, have a reality check here! No way I’m gonna allow that… Especially not right now! Look, why not come talk to me after I’ve completely closed this Netflix deal?”
There was silence, then, and then they spoke up again.
“Oh, who am I kidding? We both know that this is only gonna end one way! If you wanna stop me from sending this show out for the whole world to know and love, and not just be another little piece of Los Fortuna’s super storied, super amazing history, then STOP me! I’m already sending Peach your way, and there’s no way the two of us will just get walked all over!”
Arthur shut his eyes in frustration, but Nix shook his shoulder. “We knew from the start it’d come to this. C’mon… Any more talking this through will be a waste of all our breaths.”
“Yeah! This pre-battle stuff goes on way too long, I swear! So much to cut down in post without missing the meat of it… But enough talking shop, yeah? Let’s get to what we’re here for… You wanna say it with me? …no? Okay, suit yourself!”
“OPEN THE GAME!”
Location:
A hallway to several storage rooms in Sweet FA Mall. The area here is 40 by 80 meters with each tile being 2.5 by 2.5 meters. The white tiles are completely out of bounds for this match. The light magenta tiles are the main hallway, the purple tiles are side hallways, and the red tiles are the rooms. Each room has a number associated with it for convenience, as shown by the purple numbers. The ceiling is 8 meters tall. The doorways are denoted by the dotted lines between the rooms and hallways.
The players start at the left end of the hallway and Cairo starts in the security room (room 5) to the right of the bottom center. Cairo’s Stand starts in the middle of the main hallway.
The grey X marked circles are security cameras on the ceiling that connect to the monitors that are represented by the yellow notched rectangles in room 5. The light blue rectangles in the main hallway are 4 meter tall metal shelves that house stage set up equipment such as stepladders, light fixtures, microphones, extension cables, construction tools, and anything else needed to set up or tear down a stage. All shelves are bolted to the ground.
The yellow stars are disks, tapes, harddrives and other recordings of the footage shot by Cairo’s show.
The walls are drywall while the floor is ceramic tiled.
Now onto the different rooms:

Room 1: Contains racks and cardboard bins of merchandise. The brown rectangles are cardboard bins of plushies and hats. The red circles are racks of clothing merchandise.
Room 2: Contains a mountain of chairs and other furniture within a 5 meter tall metal storage fence as represented by the light blue rectangle and the junk inside it. Each side of the fence has a chain locked door.
Room 3: Contains various cooking appliances and peripherals. The white rectangles are 4 meter tall metal storage shelves and the magenta rectangles are 5 meter tall metal storage containers. Basically any appliance that doesn’t fit on a shelf is put into one of the three containers.
Room 4: Contains two long tables as represented by the grey L-shaped rectangles. On these tables are neatly laid out items that were used in Round 2 Match 4, this means Riot Shields, Fireworks Cannons, Magnetic Ray Guns, Grappling Hook Guns, smoke bombs, Tar filled paintball guns, mannequins, body armor, skateboards, net launchers, fire extinguishers, step ladders, marbles, bowling balls, trampolines, shovels, steel chairs, and blankets. Only the crystal ball is missing. The blue circle is a barrel of fencing foils and the yellow rectangle is a banged up motorcycle that while not completely totaled is in pretty bad shape.
Room 5: The security room. It is rather bare, only housing the monitors set-ups to the security cameras and three swivel chairs to go with them.

Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information:
As a reminder, White Tile areas are out-of-bounds for this match. If you willingly traverse through them you will be retired by a pair of mall cops.
Here is a shortened version of Cairo’s character sheet with all relevant information, the full sheet is linked below
Name: Cairo Satori
Age: 21
Gender: None, whose business is that anyways?
Species: Human
Occupation: Beloved Media Icon
Equipment: The newest smartphone, two sets of wireless earbuds for communicating directly with [Peach Pit] quietly, a bag of weed mints, and a baseball bat.
User Stats:
Strength: 3 (Too much effort to get properly strong- Cairo can throw as much effort into a hit as they need to in order to finish someone off after being brought to near-retirement by [Peach Pit], and that’s about the maximum they need.)
Agility: 2 (Never had to run after or from anything.)
Endurance: 2 (Not one to hold up under sustained pressure for very long, hoping to duck back from any conflicts except where absolutely necessary.)
Conduction: 2 (Able to personally carry their Stand’s damaging energy through them, and has a general knowledge of how to apply it.)
Vibing: 3 (It's for vibe checks- the necessity of finishing an opponent off personally, in a fast and hard strike. The full force of their strength, loaded into one moment rather than a series of fests. Also, they do have good vibes.)
Stand Name: [Peach Pit]
Stand Appearance: On the bulkier side of stand builds, Peach Pit has some resemblance to a knight in plate armor- big, dark metallic pauldrons, a chestplate, an assortment of straps and buckles, etc. The surface of the stand looks very much like a sunset with its colors flipped around. Its face is smooth except for a simple minimalist icon of the sun, and the rest of the head is mostly covered by a knight's helmet as well. A gradient of sorts goes from the head of the stand down to its armored feet, starting with an orange-red and ending in black with white specks like stars in the night sky.
About/Oddities: The stand is dangerous, outright. The manifestation of an incredible will for a very specific life gave it incredibly high offensive might, and although Cairo has depleted its very low ‘potential,’ nothing else has decreased in the slightest.
Additionally, [Peach Pit] is sentient, and thinks of itself as a close friend and bodyguard to Cairo. Despite being able to dish out high damage, it is very much a friendly, calm and collected individual, having respect even for those it has to fight. As such, [Peach Pit] leaves RETIRING opponents up to its user completely. An enemy can be beaten down, but will still be able to pull together and carry on albeit impeded until Cairo personally finishes them off. This isn't simply a choice- if instructed to keep pressure on an opponent who's down but not out, its strikes can indefinitely inflict serious pain and yet never be quite enough to injure a foe to the point where they're considered RETIRED.
Due to the bold weakness in this, for how combat inefficient and easily hurt its user is, Peach doesn't have full damage transference. Instead, it can be destroyed repeatedly- Cairo takes one instance of C power damage upon its destruction, and it can be resummoned from Cairo's position after ten seconds.
Peach's presenting identity has been influenced by Cairo's insistence against defining things that way, to the point of being comfortably seen subjectively as anything. Peach will respond to any pronouns without questioning it.
Stand Stats:
Power: A(The stand can exert a great amount of power in its attacks)
Speed: A (Its movements are very fast and its attacks can travel just as quickly)
Range: B (50 meters)
Durability: E (Subpar durability, however when destroyed the user takes C power damage and the stand can be summoned back to Cairo’s side after 10 seconds.)
Precision: C (Generally decent in its movements, but its projectile attacks only move in a straight line once fired and can only be stored within conductive materials. In non-conductive materials it would keep traveling)
Ability: Peach Pit lacks a complex ability, as far as one would expect. Rather than intricate effects, its hits themselves can simply be conducted through material similarly the way that electricity does, with distinct variation based on the conductivity of the material. Within conductive material, damage is stored up much like a battery - the moment someone touches the "battery", the damage transfers directly to it on the point of contact. This means that if Peach were to punch a metal rod and someone were to touch it, they would feel the full brunt of Peach's attack the moment they do so. A battery remains charged for up to fifteen seconds, and at any point if it hasn’t been touched and discharged already, Cairo can pick any direction from where the battery is in contact with non-conductive materials to activate the next type of attack.
Within non-conductive material, either deployed through battery or direct strike, damage "travels", moving forwards in a straight line at A speed in the same direction it came from. This wave of damage can be seen as it travels, with slight shimmers of light and a crackling sound emanating from where it's currently positioned.
Damage cannot travel further than B range from Cairo.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Black Hill Regalia	Arthur Lifeson and Nix Ripa	“The thing in Hayato's hand was definitely a handy cam. It doesn't seem to be in this room right now...” This show is a sweet-sounding idea, but it’s so corrupt to its core that you can’t allow it to spread any further than it has. Destroy as many physical backings of the recordings Cairo has made for their show as you can over the course of your strat!
Being So Normal	Cairo Satori	“I even took a video of the cat-like plant you've got in the attic!” This show… You know it’s been an unsavory road, one you wish you could have managed differently, but the good it can do, the way the world might finally begin to understand the ugly and wonderful truths of Stand Users and appreciate them more as a part of their lives… You will celebrate that. Take creative inspiration from actions that took place in matches related officially to ‘Being So Normal!’ That is to say, these 5 matches, R1M5,R1M23,R1M29,R2M4, and R3M8!

JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #5 - Round 3 Match 10 - Guy Manuel-Mota vs Ananas "Agnes" Bayley

The results are in for Match 8. The winner is…
Funk Odyssey, with a score of 77 to Klein Bras-cheche Heitsugi’s 76!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Tie	13-13	This match bears the dubious honor of being the first in T5 not to strike the eight-vote threshold set in T3, meaning that the total value of each vote is reduced so to prevent extreme disproportionate leads. Luckily, it was a tie anyway, at 3.5-3.5.
Quality	Tie	26-26	Reasoning
JoJolity	Baker Street Rat Pack	28-27	Reasoning
Conduct	TEAM	10-10

In the aftermath of the fight, there wasn’t much left of the stage - crystal, fungus, and scrap alike had all built up, scattered around the arena, and in the center of it all stood Funk Odyssey, skidding her bike to a halt after having eked out a victory at the last moment.
Klein and Funk both stood near each other, both breathing heavily and trying to recover after the tiring ordeal, amid a roar of applause from whoever was there to watch the exciting fight.
“AAAAND, WE HAVE A WINNER! A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR FUNK ODYSSEY! Wait, why’s the mic-” Cairo stopped in confusion, the microphone that was amplifying their voice cutting out all of a sudden. Shifting a glance towards the producers on set, it seemed like they weren’t aware of what caused the problem either.
Confused murmurs could be heard from the stand users on-set. Okay, this was a technical error, but this was obviously salvageable - Cairo’s dealt with worse in the past, so-
The already bad situation turned worse when the lights cut out entirely, the speakers in the warehouse humming to life again, though not by the hands of any of the crew members. A second later, a synthesized text-to-speech voice could be heard over the speakers.
“HELLO, CITIZENS OF LOS FORTUNA. THIS BROADCAST IS BEING HIJACKED. ”
What the fuck. Looking at one of the screens by the edge of the warehouse previewing the stream, Cairo could see that the stream’s been taken over entirely by whoever it was that did this, with them currently displaying some kind of placeholder image of a shrouded figure. Wasting no time, Cairo left the two combatants and made their way over to the filming crew, trying to figure out what the hell was happening and how it could be stopped.
“WHETHER DUE TO MALICE OR WILLFUL IGNORANCE, BEING SO NORMAL AND ITS CREW HAVE BEEN COMPLICIT IN VARIOUS CRIMES, BOTH DURING AND PRIOR TO ITS RUNTIME.”
Funk could hear the murmurings of stand users around her, and of Cairo and the rest of the crew trying to figure out what exactly was going on and how to stop them. Was this Peter’s doing? Was that why he needed her to be here? Funk remembered hearing him mention the source for this investigation of his a few times - apparently he’d been working with a “Jesse Jefferson'' from the Agricultural District who’d gotten his hands on a flashdrive made by Nova Nascens containing this information, and thanks to Peter’s skills (combined with some stand magic from that magic house Jesse lived in that repaired the hard drive every time it literally exploded in their faces).
Meanwhile, it seemed like the show’s producers were still struggling to regain control of the stream.
“CAIRO HAS BEEN COMPLICIT IN PROMOTING UNREST WITHIN THE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT, WORKING ALONGSIDE ODIN TO SEND STAND USERS TO FIGHT WITH LOCAL UNIONS, LEADING TO RECENT RISING TENSIONS IN THE AREA.“
“FURTHERMORE, OTHER MEMBERS OF STAFF HAVE COMMITTED VARIOUS OTHER CRIMES, BUT NONE AS MUCH AS THIS SHOW’S LEAD CAMERAWOMAN - CAROLINE JEFFORDS.” The screen shifted to an image of a brown haired woman, who Funk could only assume was caroline. Then, it began shifting to a series of other, well-laid graphs, documents, and images, all presenting evidence for the accusations shown up until now.
“OVER THE YEARS, THIS WOMAN HAS COMMITTED COUNTLESS CRIMES ALL FOR THE SAKE OF PROFIT USING HER STAND - SPYING ON FIGURES OF NOTE FROM WITHIN THE CITY AND SELLING THE INFORMATION TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER, REGARDLESS OF INTENT, AND COVERING UP CRIMES AND TAMPERING WITH SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE FOR A PRICE. OF NOTE, EVIDENCE RELATING TO THE RECENT AND TRAGIC DEATH OF THE LATE ANDRÉ TIFÀNI HAS BEEN TAMPERED WITH IN ORDER TO FURTHER SHIFT THE BLAME ONTO-”
The feed cut off entirely, power having simply been cut to the building entirely. If Peter had found a way to make the stream continue even after this, Funk wouldn’t be able to see it.
For a moment, the warehouse was dead silent. Then, murmurings began between the various stand users in the audience, no one knowing what to make of this information. Regardless of whether the feed was cut or not, one thing was clear -
The damage had already been done, and the truth had come to light.
Surprises are everywhere, and there’s still yet more mysteries to be uncovered. Two boys have found doubles of themselves, who’ve lived their same lives yet all within the bounds of the city, and the four are now fighting. You only have a few hours left to vote in that when this goes up.
Scenario:
Sound’s Garden - Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater - Early Evening
The entrance to the theater which had, months ago now, put on one of the greatest shows in the city’s history had again been filled with eager people, wanting little more than to enjoy yet concert by Metra Doria, or “TD/MD”; it had been the first in a little while, her last appearances onstage being a string of benefit shows she’d performed for immediately after the destruction of Capital Island. They weren’t bad, critics had said, but far from her best work, as though spending several weeks kidnapped by the head of a citywide crime ring had affected her ability to perform or something.
Regardless, though, there were good feelings about this one, as since that fateful day, there hadn’t been a single bad show at the Alexander, and the local interview cycle had Metra come across as so much more genuinely excited than she had been, even if she also did publicly express her frustrations with the fact that, thanks to some act of sabotage, a leaking of information, the arrest of one Toby Fox had been subverted, and he and several of his buddies were still free to wreak their havoc.
Guy Manuel-Mota wasn’t much one to complain about a gig, whatever that job happened to be, and though he’d known the unscrupulous nature of his client, the garish Tigran “Golden” Sins, he also knew exactly how much money the guy had, so when he said that he and Fox had wanted a man on the ground at the stage out of fear that somebody might attack Metra, that even if he was trying to move past his affections for the girl, he’d still wished to keep watch over her, quietly.
If it was true, creepy. If it was a bold-faced lie, at least Guy knew damn well that they were good for their money if they had Seido fucking Shuto on retainer. Either way, he knew he’d get paid as long as he didn’t fuck up.
As Guy walked up to the ticket-takers, corralling eager audience members forward, he noticed them offering strange shiny wristbands to every single person who walked by, telling them “wear it if you want!” and finding, every time, that they just sort of mindlessly nodded and did just that.
When it came to be Guy’s turn, then, of course, he was much the same, accepting it and holding it in one hand, his stub in the other, as he looked the fake-gold, glittering accessory over, tilting his head as he noted the words, very subtly engraved, on it:

IWILLPLAY

“So… That’s your game, huh?” Guy asked, shrugging and slipping it on just like all the rest. He saw where this would go from here, and figured that what the guy paying him wanted was for him to play along.
“Uh, sir-” The ticket taker murmured and stammered at somebody, “sir, please, you can only take one! W-we need enough commemorative wristbands for a full house, so please-”
“Fuck off,” the pink-headed, ornery showgoer declared, yoinking the entire box away and fishing out several, putting a few all over his hands, “I want ‘em all!”
Huh… Guess that’s ‘trouble,’ right on cue. Should I lead him somewhere alone, or just wait for something, or..?
Before he could formulate a plan of action, Guy blacked out for what felt like a moment.
Sound’s Garden Eastern Strip - Metra Doria’s Apartment - Earlier that Day
“Well, well, well,” Ananas ‘Agnes’ Bayley said, before cracking open a can of soda, downing it in several drawn out seconds, cracking open a second, downing that in seconds, and then, a third time, before stacking all three, “how the turntables.”
“…” Metra gave him a look, one which Agnes smugly knew was her asking herself, in that moment, ‘am I seriously going to work with this guy?’ It was a feeling he reveled in, being unwanted and dreaded, yet at once needed and tolerated. “So… Will you come? I’ll hook you up with VIP merch, owe you one in general, just… I dunno. I’ve been feeling extremely good about this show, excited, but now that Fox is out there again, I feel like I need… Backup, I guess? Like, I could take any one of those guys in a fight on my own, sure, but with a huge crowd, and trying to focus on my stuff, and…”
“And Arpeggi and that fuckin’… catgirl were busy, I take it.” Agnes snickered, moving around the cans’ placement, never on one of Metra’s coasters, watching as little rings formed on the table. “Heh, fuck ‘em anyway. Dealing with a situation like this… You don’t need some ‘good guy’ worried about not making a mess or whatever. You need a bona fide villain to flex on these posers. Call it fate that I was available short-notice and they weren’t.”
“Just…” Metra sounded resigned. “Please don’t cause too much trouble. Damages will come out of your reward.”
“Snrk… Of course. It’ll come out of my pay. A sentence I hear every day from Gabanna, you know.”
With Metra’s reluctance and Agnes’ amusement, a deal had been struck.
Metra Doria, too, had been handed one of those strange wristbands, and she, too, seemed to black out suddenly, only realizing a moment too late exactly what, once again, this had all meant. She hadn’t approved ‘commemorative wristbands’ on the dossier, and the text on it… Goddammit!
But… Her green room looked almost identical. What the hell was going on? Maybe her backup dancers would know something, or Agnes had noticed… He’d at least report to her if he had figured something out, right? …right?
She stepped outside, then, only to find herself, and what she’d thought was her green room, atop a shelf in a very high-up, VIP area, a sort of outdoor box seating-type arrangement which the Alexander saved for its most prized guests. Almost always, somebody from Fox’s little club.
She had been shrunk down to the size of a game piece, and sitting at a table nearby, watched with interest by about half a dozen suits she had come to recognize, was a perfect recreation of the entire stage and seating areas of the amphitheater. As she tried to process this, then, her view was taken up entirely by the giant, punchable face of Tigran Sins.
“Evening, Metra! Looks like you underestimated me again… Heh, for some reason, people keep doing that.” The very garish man laughed, but his eyes were glaring down at her. Always, he’d hated her, resented the attention she’d taken from Fox. “Been awhile, hasn’t it?”
“Tigran… What the fuck did you do?” Metra curled her tiny hands into fists, allowing her Stand, the headphones often seen at her neck, to manifest, “you… How many people are down there? I hear so many voices murmuring, even from here!”
“Thousands upon thousands,” Tigran remarked, “all waiting none the wiser for the show you promised them… Including a side appearance from two Stand Users. You really put all your faith in a loose cannon like that Agnes kid who set a fire in my casino? You’ve been acting cool, but you’re desperate, aren’t ya? You know we’re here to stay… And what game we’re playing.”
“You… You’d better run the hell away fast as soon as we’ve won, because we will ruin you.”
She tried to sound defiant, there, but Metra was trembling.
“Some things, a Stand User just can’t beat with all their strength, Metra… Now, c’mon.” He held up a cute little tiny limousine, cracking the door open. “You’ve got a show to do.”
The crowd came to at once, already amassed within the amphitheater, seats filled, standing room similarly heavily occupied. There was hardly room to move one’s arms around in there.
Which, of course, Agnes was doing anyway, swatting people away and getting called rude words, cackling as he made for himself some space. Something was fucking up here, and he did not want to be caught off-guard by-
“Hey.”
“Shit!” Agnes jumped, then, and turned around, seeing Guy Manuel-Mota face-to-face, staring him down with a somewhat even expression.
“Hey, c’mon, I’m not that scary, am I?” Guy joked, rubbing his arms and making a point of showing off his bracelet, then gesturing at it, and at the stage, and saying, “anyway, my name’s Guy Manuel-Mota. You probably already realize this, Agnes, but… You’re already in a trap here. Both of us are stuck, even.”
“Heheh, what, are you trying to warn me or something? Well, I don’t need an alliance with you… So fuck off.”
“I wasn’t asking for one.” Guy corrected, then, adding, “you know how Tigran Sins works… The only way we’re getting out of this is through each other.”
“My fucking thoughts exactly,” Agnes answered, “and exactly what I came here for… A chance to pound that gold-wearing fuck’s face in. I hear he really hates that shit, so I’ll make it permanent.
Guy’s casual demeanor, then, turned into a stiff, serious face, hands at the blades on his person. “You won’t last that long.”
“Oh, you’re fucking on, you-” “Alright, Los Fortuna! Give it up for exactly what you came here for!” An announcer’s voice cheered on, then, ringing through the arena almost deafeningly loud, followed by a cascade of rising cheers.
The noise distracted Agnes, and Guy made his getaway.
“Back again at the Alexander Dickinson…”
Shit… So many people here, not even paying attention. Where did he go?
“Unbreakable, unshakeable, here to give the show of her life again as she always does… TD/MD!”
Metra strutted out onto the stage, then, to the cheers of the crowd, but Agnes noticed that she seemed to be frequently looking up towards the sky, or towards the various short-circuit cameras wired to display her on the jumbotrons. The crowd seemed too vapid, too fandom-consumed to notice, but there was apprehension in her every step in that casual yet elegant performing costume of hers.
“It means so much to me to see you all out here… Really, I appreciate every single one of you, even if I don’t know you! Just the fact that you came here…” She was trying not to sound guilty as hell there, for what she and all of them had fallen into. Agnes wasn’t sure whether to feel bad, to get mad at Tigran Sins for pulling one over on them again, or to laugh.
“So! I’m just going to start with a classic, alright? Keep the emergency exits in mind, but more than that, get ready, because what’s coming is something hard to describe! Let’s make it a night worth remembering!”
Guy continued to grasp his swords, keeping close to the crowd, close to the stage.
Cruel what you’re doing, Mr. Sins… And you didn’t tell me I’d be fighting the guy who ripped the Ocean Soul’s arm off. I’d better get a hell of a bonus for this.
OPEN THE GAME!
Location: The Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater, in the Entertainment District (specifically, a perfect replica of its crowd area). The area for the match here is 50 by 60 meters, with each tile being 5 by 5 meters. Agnes starts at the middle left and Guy starts in the middle right as represented by their respectively colored team tokens.
The stage is at the top as represented by the grey semi-circle. The audience members are represented by the red circles and the venue is sectioned off as a concert generally would be. Each seating section is represented by the blue, green, and yellow transparencies. These areas are roped off to keep them separate.
The dotted semi-circular line is a row of metal security fences to keep people from getting too close to the stage.
Goal: RETIRE your opponent!
Additional Information:
The audience members all have flat two physicals, and are mostly paying attention to the ongoing concert, eager and excited fans that they are. Metra Doria is performing onstage with a backing band, and it’s quite loud, yet somehow (the noise-altering effect of her Stand, maybe?) you aren’t debilitated by it. The audience members won’t deliberately cooperate with you in any meaningful way, and don’t particularly care about one another either, but will try to avoid getting hurt if they can see it coming.
Due to brazen threats on the guests by Tigran and the rest, none of Metra’s crew will interfere in the match, and are basically as good as non-entities mechanically, but it goes without saying that harming them or outright ruining the performance will lead to Fox canonically and successfully killing you with a giant rock. So don’t go on the stage itself.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
BADD GUYS	Ananas “Agnes” Bayley	“Faceless gazes passing by with me / The void in my heart changed with the path I chose” You find these ED guys absolutely loathsome, but the idea of completely stealing Metra’s thunder is nonetheless appealing to your villainous heart. Act as cool as possible in your own way!
Suburban Regalia	Guy Manuel-Mota	“There's no limit to each new encounter - everything so ordinarily bizarre” These people want their shows to be impressive, right? Well, may as well get that check… Act as cool as possible in your own way!

Covid-19 Update for December 8: 1,727 new cases, 1,397 recoveries, 9 deaths + Announcement of additional mandatory measures

Data is taken from the Covid-19 portal and today's availability by Dr Deena Hinshaw, Premier Jason Kenney, Minister of Health Tyler Shandro, and Minister of Jobs Doug Schweitzer. Dr Hinshaw's next availability is tomorrow.
There are currently enhanced measures in effect for multiple regions of Alberta and have been enhanced as of today. This link provides a quick summary of which ones are in effect for different regions of Alberta.
Top line numbers:

For values where "Current" and "Total" are the same, I have left results under Total

Value	Current	Change	Total
Total cases	—	+1,727	71,379
Active cases	20,388	+321	—
Cases with "Unknown source"	10,575 (83.9%) in last 7 days	+427 (+0.4%)	—
Tests	—	+19,071 (~9.06% positive)	2,410,675
People tested	—	+7,433	1,534,783 (~355,521/million)
Hospitalizations	654	+45/+35 based on yesterday's post/portal data	2,325 (+64)
ICU	112	+4	413 (+10)
Deaths	—	+9 (4x 70-79, 5x 80+)	640
Recoveries	—	+1,397	51,000

Spatial distribution of people tested, cases, and deaths (since yesterday):

All other values are compared with respect to yesterday

Zone	Active Cases	New People Tested	Total	New Cases	Total	New Deaths	Total
Calgary	7,529 (+57)	+2,654	621,003	+583	28,946	+2	215
Central	1,526 (+53)	+1,005	134,204	+176	3,881	+1	20
Edmonton	9,383 (+193)	+2,664	513,626	+791	29,901	+5	304
North	1,212 (+65)	+739	143,747	+165	4,757	+0	51
South	646 (-8)	+307	97,153	+57	4,307	+1	50
Unknown	92 (-39)	+64	25,050	-45	236	+0	0

Spatial distribution of cases for select cities and regions (change since yesterday) (cities proper for Calgary and Edmonton):

City/Municipality	Total	Active	Recovered	Deaths
Edmonton	24,542 (+625)	7,586 (+151)	16,692 (+469)	264 (+5)
Calgary	24,245 (+507)	6,490 (+117)	17,562 (+388)	193 (+2)
Brooks	1,296 (+2)	24 (-4)	1,258 (+6)	14 (+0)
Lethbridge	1,175 (+22)	259 (+9)	909 (+13)	7 (+0)
Fort McMurray	906 (+20)	222 (-3)	682 (+23)	2 (+0)
Red Deer	832 (+45)	373 (+18)	449 (+27)	0
High River county	658 (+2)	49 (-6)	602 (+8)	7 (+0)
Grande Prairie	562 (+15)	106 (+10)	451 (+5)	5 (+0)
Mackenzie county	447 (+4)	19 (+4)	415 (+0)	13 (+0)
Medicine Hat	334 (+11)	89 (-3)	240 (+14)	5 (+0)
I.D. No 9 (Banff)	324 (+8)	109 (-14)	215 (+22)	0
Cardston county	200 (+2)	37 (-2)	157 (+4)	6 (+0)
Wheatland county	146 (+1)	6 (-1)	140 (+2)	0
Warner county	137 (+1)	30 (-2)	105 (+3)	2 (+0)
Wood Buffalo municipality	111 (+1)	8 (+0)	103 (+1)	0
Rest of Alberta	16,113 (+461)	4,981 (+47)	11,010 (+412)	122 (+2)

Other municipalities with 10+ active cases is given at this link
Schools with outbreaks are listed online.
Quick numbers (as of today):

108 schools are on Watch (+2)
141 schools have 2-4 cases (+10)

Spatial distribution of hospital usage (change based on yesterday's post):

Hospitalization zone are where the patient is receiving care, not zone of residence

Zone	Hospitalized	ICU
Calgary	198 (+14)	34 (+2)
Edmonton	357 (+22)	66 (+3)
Central	50 (+3)	6 (+1)
South	18 (+4)	2 (-1)
North	31 (+2)	4 (-1)

Statements by Premier Kenney
Opening Statements

Here to lay out additional health measures which are necessary to protect healthcare system and save lives
Alberta has faced most of the year with lower levels of spread, hospitalizations, and fatalities
Having said that, last few weeks are different
Incredible work is being done by healthcare workers in face of this
Delays in surgeries have occurred, which for some may result in a shorter lifespan
Not doing anything now will result in continued growth of hospitalizations and further strain on healthcare
On advice of chief medical officer, restrictions have occurred. Government realizes that this can impact businesses and cause adversities
Knows many feed policies are unjust and why provincial government has stressed education first instead of using policy
On the other hand, while space can be made, it will have further health impacts (e.g. running out of capacity in hospitals)
If stronger action isn't taken now, hundreds or thousands more Albertans will die
Data appears to suggest a stabilization (around a reproductive factor of around 1.2), but that isn't enough

New Restrictions

As of today, all outdoor and indoor social gatherings are banned
The mask mandate will expand to all indoor places, with exception of rental homes and farm operations
As of December 13th, 12:01 AM:
(1) Retail, grocery stores, and shopping malls are restricted to 15% of capacity, down from 25%. Kiosks are open for takeaway service only. Malls cannot be used for socialization and shopping only
(2) Places are worship to 15% occupancy with previous restrictions applying. Online and drive-in services are still recommended
(3) Restaurants, pubs, bars, lounges and cafes are restricted to takeout and delivery services only. This will open up their access to provincial and federal supports
(4) The following will be closed:
(4a) Gaming centres (e.g. - casinos, bingo halls, gaming entertainment centres)
(4b) Recreational facilities
(4c) Indoor entertainment (e.g. libraries, science centres, water parks)
(4d) Trade centres
The restrictions do not apply to service visits, healthcare, or childcare .
(5) All Alberta employees must work from home unless employer requires physical presence for operational reasons (up from a recommendation)
No changes to schools beyond what was previously announced
These are all province wide and will be in effect for 4 weeks
Goal has been to be targeted. However, the whole province is seeing significant spread

Christmas

Knows the holidays are important for many people
The hard truth is that the single source of spread is at-home gatherings
If we let people gather for Christmas, we'll see a spike in cases
We can't let that happen, so please follow the gathering restrictions previously noted (only in-household or with 2 close contacts if you live alone)

Increased Enterprise Support

This isn't the fault of anybody who followed the guidelines
Until the contact tracing system was overwhelmed, we didn't see it being the fault of business owners
But we are seeing spread so widespread, it doesn't matter how careful you were
These are decisions are a last resort
Knows this impact will be real. So financial support for small and medium size enterprise
4x growth in small and medium enterprise relaunch grant, while lowering eligibility from 40% of revenue lost to 30%. This will also be retroactive to March

Closing Statements

Thanks Albertans for their work for most of the past 9 months
We are seeing the end with vaccination possibly beginning in weeks...the end is in sight

Q&A

Why now, instead of two weeks ago?: Goal is to reduce contacts, assuming Albertans respond. This should be a very strong message and reduce transmissions. Measures have been increasingly harsh because each restriction creates harms, will hurt people who have sunk all their money in a business, and potentially increase self-harm. So this is a last resort
Why keep retail open instead of just curbside?: Encourages curbside, but some people may not be able to live without basic goods. Even most stringent policies around the world have kept retail open in some capacity. Feels the designation of essential and non-essential businesses in spring was a mistake
Why is cabinet being transparent about the reproductive value (R or Rt)?: Are preparing ways to publicly present this data, as well as healthcare capacity. Targeting next week
Do you think the softer measures before will cost lives/make economic recovery more difficult?: Shutting down early would have had significant impacts. Thinks it'd be a huge mistake to draw correlations between strictness of restrictions and outcomes and that there is a reasonable balance being stuck
Since you defined Covid representing "a tiny percent" of deaths, 300 deaths have occurred. There have been significant growths in hospitalization and cases. Do you take personal responsibility?: Rejects the premise of the question and calls it more of an "NDP speech". Feels the province has done more than other jurisdictions, especially early on. Also notes that BC, who has a government of opposite end of the political spectrum, has had a similar approach

Statements by Minister Shandro
Additional Details on Health Measures

Goal is to limit in-person interaction
Retail restriction has a floor of 5 people
Ski hills can remain open, provided restrictions are followed
Realizes that this is a lot to take in, but person-to-person exposure is fuelling the spread
We need limit contacts and be aware of the situation around you (even outdoors or at the grocery store)

Q&A

How does outdoor gathering ban even work?: Goal is to restrict social gatherings. So do not socially gather indoors or outdoors. If they gather in a park or on the sidewalk, that isn't allowed. Difficulty will certainly lie in enforcement and hopes it won't need to be used. It will be up to law enforcement to determine if they feel they need to use it
(Additional comment by Dr Hinshaw: Intention is to prevent group social activities. Not prohibited is fitness activities provided distancing occurs)

Statements by Minister Schweitzer
Opening Statements

Wants to make people aware that there will be significant impacts. This is not lost on anyone in government
Knows many people are impacted because people have ignored public health orders.

Additional Details on Small Business Supports

40% may not be able to re-open after these closures without supports
Small businesses may now qualify for $20,000 support (up from $5,000) with a decrease in revenue lost to 30%
An additional 15,000 businesses should be able to qualify for this (totalling 500 million dollars)

Q&A

How many people will be affected with these restrictions?: ~30,000 businesses will be affected. Will be seeing how many people

Statements by Dr Hinshaw
Cases

426 schools have active cases (~18%) with total of 1,701 cases
108 schools on watch list (5+ active cases)

Edmonton Zone

The Royal Alexandra Hospital has decided to place facility on "Watch" status as a precautionary measure
Hospitals are safe places to receive care, but be aware that staff are under extreme stress
Edmonton Zone will enact additional measures:
(1) Postponing up to 60% of non-urgent surgeries (up from 30%)
(2) Diagnostic imaging may be reduced by up to 40%
(3) Ambulatory visits and procedures may be reduced as needed
AHS will contact those who are impacted
This is why these measures are needed and a sign of how Covid may impact more than the ill

Scope of the Situation

If you gathered all the people who have tested positive, it would be the 5th largest city in Alberta
1/3 people have been tested
On October 8, positive rate was 1.34% with 184 cases in province
Today, positive rate is 9% and 7 day average is 1,785
Outbreaks in almost all group settings
People from 1 to 108 have been infected
Knows restrictions will impact many people
The fastest way to get there is to embrace these restrictions
Knows many people have embraced already, but everybody will need to do more

Q&A

Why do we think these measures will work, after the last two rounds?: This is the most significant round of restrictions. Points to Israel as an example (who shrunk their cases faster than even their first wave). Target will be to bring the health system out of risk
If someone is coming in from out of province, is that allowed?: If it's someone from out of province, it isn't allowed
A follow up question noted an example of family members in Alberta were quarantining were 2 weeks before Christmas. Challenge is that enforcement of a "quarantine" will be difficult to control. Province is saying "gathering for Christmas" won't be allowed with people who don't live in the home. Knows it's a big imposition but any suggestions like in the question may cause a Thanksgiving-like increase in spread

Additional information will be logged below:

One additional question was asked in French. I am unfortunately not fluent enough to translate it

[FNV]HELP! Getting CTD every time when I try to loot something when Loot Menu opens

HELP!FNV Crashes every time when I try to loot something when Loot Menu opens
Also ctd happens on new game (softlock)
0 0 FalloutNV.esm
1 1 DeadMoney.esm
2 2 HonestHearts.esm
3 3 OldWorldBlues.esm
4 4 LonesomeRoad.esm
5 5 GunRunnersArsenal.esm
6 6 ClassicPack.esm
7 7 MercenaryPack.esm
8 8 TribalPack.esm
9 9 CaravanPack.esm
10 a YUP - Base Game + All DLC.esm
11 b SolidProject.esm
12 c Interior Lighting Overhaul - Core.esm
13 d FreesideOpen.esm
14 e New Vegas Redesigned 3.esm
15 f Functional Post Game Ending.esm
16 10 MoreMojave.esm
17 11 TGMIO.esm
18 12 Landscape_Seam_Fix.esm
FCOMaster.esm
19 13 rePopulated Wasteland.esm
20 14 TLD_Travelers.esm
21 15 Sexout.esm
22 16 SexoutCommonResources.esm
23 17 SexoutSlavery.esm
24 18 SexoutTryout.esm
25 19 Gomorrah Redesigned v2.esp
26 1a Weapon Mod Expansion.esm
27 1b SexoutWorkingGirl.esp
28 1c NVStripOpen.esm
29 1d TheHUDEditor.esm
30 1e Decrucifixion.esm
31 1f SomeguySeries.esm
32 20 Interior Lighting Overhaul - L38PS.esm
33 21 oHUD.esm
34 22 WME - GRA.esm
35 23 WME - DLCs.esm
36 24 RobbableCaravans.esm
37 25 Sortomatic.esm
38 26 STUN.esm
39 27 SexoutDrugging.esm
40 28 Bitter Springs Redesigned.esp
41 29 CookCookTwo.esm
42 2a PHWHPAPVisuals.esm
43 2b NV Cinema Fantastique.esp
44 2c Rhonda the Merchant.esm
45 2d HumanTrafficking.esm
46 2e GRARG.esm
47 2f Ragdolls.esm
48 30 YUP - NPC Fixes (Base Game + All DLC).esp
49 31 Unofficial Patch Plus.esp
50 32 Vurt's WFO.esp
51 33 Ultimate Invisible Wall Remover.esp
52 34 New Vegas Redesigned 3.esp
53 35 NewVegasStripOverhaul.esp
54 36 Uncut Extra Collection.esp
55 37 MoreChems.esp
56 38 PerksNoLevelRequirement.esp
57 39 VATS Alternative - Bullet Time.esp
58 3a JustAssortedMods.esp
59 3b FPSWeaponWheel.esp
60 3c NiptonRebuilt.esp
61 3d outsidebets.esp
62 3e FreesideOpenPatch.esp
63 3f Uncut Wasteland.esp
64 40 Windows of the Mojave v1.2.1.esp
65 41 AAM.esp
66 42 hz_Helpless Landing.esp
67 43 Mortalize.esp
68 44 Agonize.esp
69 45 Ammo Count Memory.esp
70 46 Safe Hotkeys.esp
71 47 StopDropandRoll.esp
72 48 Watter Putter Outter.esp
73 49 bzBodySuits.esp
74 4a SexoutSleepingNecro.esp
75 4b MitchellLabCoat.esp
76 4c SexoutLoversBed.esp
77 4d SexoutRapeGame.esp
78 4e SexoutRapist.esp
79 4f CPCN_AidMenu.esp
80 50 Lucky 38 Suite Expansion.esp
81 51 LessAnnoyingMojaveDialogues.esp
82 52 CNR_Beta.esp
83 53 populatedcasino-medium.esp
84 54 WME - GRA - Complete.esp
85 55 Functional Post Game Ending - Populated Casinos Medium Patch.esp
86 56 StripOpenMain.esp
87 57 NewVegasUncut 123457 Merged.esp
88 58 Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Extra Collection Patch.esp
89 59 Sexist Dialogue V1.5.0.esp
90 5a HiddenValleyOverhauledMM1.2.esp
91 5b Animated Sleeping.esp
92 5c Cheaper Repair Vendors 10%.esp
93 5d Vanilla Armor Overhaul - FNV.esp
94 5e ADAM - Trooper Gloves.esp
95 5f LootMenu.esp
Nights are Darker 25%.esp
96 60 Nights are Darker 50%.esp
97 61 Simple Pickpocketing.esp
98 62 Extra Rounds.esp
99 63 RetrievableThrowables.esp
100 64 StealthBoyEnhanced.esp
101 65 Witcher Style Rifle Holster.esp
102 66 FirstAidReborn.esp
103 67 Destruction.esp
104 68 WME - GRA - All Weapons.esp
105 69 ShishkebabTorch.esp
106 6a Nukeexplosions.esp
107 6b Weapon Mod Expansion.esp
108 6c WME - GRA - Just Guns.esp
109 6d IMPACT.esp
110 6e Bullet Fixes.esp
111 6f No Hitscan.esp
112 70 LessIntrusiveKillCam.esp
113 71 RWD-NV v1.4 [No Limbs Explosions].esp
dD-More Gore.esp
114 72 hz_1 by 1 Reload Fix.esp
115 73 ItemBrowser.esp
116 74 FCO - Sweat.esp
SexoutLust - oHUD.esp
117 75 SmallerTalk.esp
118 76 Melee Reach Fixed Ultimate.esp
119 77 Grave_Digger_v021.esp
120 78 dD - Enhanced Blood Main NV.esp
121 79 IntuitiveRealisticCooking.esp
122 7a HumanTraffickingEX.esp
123 7b SexoutConsequences.esp
124 7c Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Wasteland Patch.esp
125 7d Companion Sandbox Mode3.esp
126 7e NewVegasBounties.esp
127 7f NewVegasBountiesII.esp
128 80 1nivVSLArmors.esp
129 81 NewVegasBountiesIII.esp
130 82 Animated Workbenches.esp
131 83 ultra-luxe-fountain-cut-contentSO.esp
132 84 Functional Post Game Ending - Outside Bets Patch.esp
133 85 PrimmSouthUncutBisonBetaWT.esp
134 86 T60.esp
135 87 NVFunctionalMonorail.esp
136 88 WestsideSuburbsUncut.esp
137 89 SexoutSex.esp
138 8a ADAM Complete.esp
139 8b ADAM - MERGE.esp
140 8c Lucky38Overhaul.esp
141 8d Collectors Deck.esp
142 8e A Cyber Affair.esp
143 8f SunnyCompanion.esp
144 90 BR_MeatPrepAnimations.esp
145 91 MojaveOutpostCarApocalypseUncut.esp
146 92 More_Freeside_Thugs.esp
147 93 FreesideOpen - NewVegasBountiesIII.esp
148 94 No Witnesses.esp
149 95 Patient Gown at Startup by TheCalculator.esp
150 96 STUN.esp
151 97 MakHealOther.esp
152 98 SimpleGlowingRangerVisors(NeckCover).esp
153 99 WME - GRA - Vendor Reform.esp
154 9a Delay DLC - DM + HH + OWB + LR + GRA.esp
155 9b Primm Reputation Restored.esp
156 9c WME - GRA - Unique Integration.esp
157 9d Strip Wall Billboards.esp
158 9e UnlimitedCompanions.esp
159 9f Decrucifixion.esp
160 a0 GGNaughtyTradingSlavery.esp
161 a1 HeroesOfTheApocalypse.esp
162 a2 GolfWaterScene.esp
163 a3 Functional Post Game Ending - YUP Patch.esp
164 a4 RobbableCaravans_GRARGPatch.esp
165 a5 Decrucifixion - More Victims.esp
166 a6 BM Dish Explosion tab.esp
167 a7 Mojave Travel.esp
BM Dish Explosion No tab.esp
168 a8 Star Wars - Boba Fett.esp
169 a9 CookCookNewLook.esp
170 aa DIM TYPE3clothesRETAIL.esp
171 ab bzArmour.esp
172 ac WME - GRA - Weapon Integration.esp
173 ad KMGL_Main.esp
174 ae WME - DLCs Arenovalis.esp
175 af WME - DLCs.esp
176 b0 Boon_spotter.esp
177 b1 DragThings.esp
178 b2 RealSmokes.esp
179 b3 BuryYourTreasure.esp
180 b4 Realistic Portable Tent.esp
181 b5 Burning CampFire.esp
182 b6 Better Burned Man.esp
183 b7 Functional Post Game Ending - Strip Open Patch.esp
184 b8 Cut Sewers Restored.esp
185 b9 RestoredCaravanPlayers.esp
186 ba HumanizeBrutalize.esp
187 bb ILO - YUP Patch.esp
188 bc EmptyWeapons.esp
189 bd BushSounds.esp
190 be Securitron Siren Restored.esp
191 bf Lethal Headshots.esp
192 c0 IRNPC.esp
193 c1 Diagonal movement.esp
194 c2 FalloutNV_lang.esp
195 c3 EnhancedGrass.esp
196 c4 EnhancedDoF.esp
197 c5 GBMM - Gun Behavior Mod Merge.esp
198 c6 Immersive Hit Reactions.esp
199 c7 ImmersivePickupSoundsFNV.esp
200 c8 Bullet Impact Increased LOD.esp
201 c9 MuchNeededLOD.esp
202 ca NPCsSprint.esp
203 cb Player Headtracking.esp
204 cc The Mod Configuration Menu.esp
205 cd DeathclawDismember.esp
206 ce NewVegasBountiesFSOPatch.esp
207 cf Populated Strip.esp
208 d0 RestoredPapaKhanArmor.esp
209 d1 Portable Tent.esp
210 d2 ILO - Portable Tent.esp
211 d3 NewVegasBountiesIIFSOPatch.esp
212 d4 WME - GRA - Arenovalis.esp
213 d5 GunsFixedDismemberv101.esp
214 d6 No Tracer.esp
215 d7 NPCs Can Miss.esp
216 d8 NV Fatal Headshots.esp
217 d9 NPC Use Aid.esp
218 da RealtimeDeath.esp
219 db HelplessFalling.esp
220 dc FOVSlider.esp
221 dd Awesome Crippling Effects v1.8.esp
FCO - Roberts Patch.esp
222 de UndiesUnderneath.esp
223 df AnimatedIngestibles_0_5.esp
224 e0 AnimatedIngestibles_0_5_SitOnly.esp
225 e1 AnimatedDrinks_1_0.esp
226 e2 Destructibles.esp
227 e3 ArmourRepairKits.esp
228 e4 hz_Automatic Weapons Fix.esp
229 e5 B42Bash.esp
230 e6 Quickthrow.esp
231 e7 Preorder items in locker.esp
232 e8 B42Wristwatch.esp
233 e9 B42Inertia.esp
234 ea FNVBCv.1a.esp
235 eb LFox Cannibal Perk Improvements.esp
236 ec Cowboy Weapons Holster.esp
237 ed BloodymessCreatures.esp
238 ee Radscorp BM.esp
239 ef Companion Sandbox Mode.esp
240 f0 DynamicTimeScale.esp
241 f1 Helmet Overlay.esp
242 f2 SexoutAnimManagement.esp
243 f3 SexoutPosNew.esp
244 f4 TGMIO_ILO_Patch.esp
245 f5 HJLLessDismembermentAndExplosionsv100.esp
246 f6 Zan_AutoPurge_SmartAgro_NV.esp
247 f7 RWD-NV v1.4 [Standard Version] Update+DLC.esp
248 f8 SexoutBang.esp
249 f9 RPM - Remove Pre-order Messages.esp
250 fa Interior Lighting Overhaul - Ultimate Edition.esp
251 fb ILO - New Vegas Bounties II.esp
252 fc ILO - New Vegas Bounties.esp
253 fd FNVLODGen.esp
254 fe tmzLODadditions.esp

GGC Locker Room guy

How I discovered the KKC - in JAIL. Lol. Also do you think corners and spades are the same game?

Warning this is a long tale of many prisoners, starting with me, getting hooked on KKC while serving time. Also a tale of friendship and running a gambling empire behind bars as well as my theory that the games corners and spades are one in the same.
So I have a history with drugs and it got me on probation which ended me in jail several times bc I didnt quit. The legal system isn't great at getting ppl off drugs but it's super good at putting us nonviolent offenders in jail where private jails can make money from the taxpayers for keeping us locked up. I've completed my probation now and had my record expunged so it's all behind me now but here's the story of how I found the Kingkiller Chronicle.
So I was in jail and I had a super whiney older guy as a cellmate. He seriously wouldn't stop whining and crying about having to be in jail for 2 more weeks. I knew I would be there at least 6 months and I thought I was going to prison for a couple years after that since this was my 4th probation violation. Luckily the judge liked me and let me off super easy. Well my whiney cell mate had 3 books sent in. I didnt have anyone to send me books, write, visit or put money on my books. It sucked. I tried telling my cellmate jails not so bad, I'd been a bunch. It's mostly like a really boring camp with awful food. He was scared of the other inmates. I told him I'd protect him lol. Even tho I was new there were a couple of people i knew from other places and they'd introduced me to all the cool people and I'd made friends with the important ppl to make friends with. I did my very best to keep my short timer cellmate calm while listening to him talk about how he cant do 2 weeks while i had years hanging over me.
Then one day my cellmate does something extremely dumb. He went to the guard and said he couldnt take it anymore. That he was losing it. I'd warned him about this. Told him how they wouldn't take him somewhere nice and comfortable and hold his hand and make him some relaxing warm tea. The damage was done though and so they got him and took him to the mental health pod. The kind of place with such nice amenities as non stop 24 hour screaming, throwing and smearing feces as well as the unpredictable violently insane. Oh well. I warned him.
When he left he left his books though. Score. 2 of these books were junk but hmm what's this? The Name of The Wind. This looks cool. I'll give it a try. I was hooked. On free time when everyone's allowed out of their cells I asked some of the guys about it and no one had heard of it except a guy we will call H. H was a big guy and quite feared. I liked him and would sometimes talk to him about game of thrones, wheel of time, red rising and other nerdy stuff. The vast majority of ppl in our unit were terrified of H tho. He was big but it was more his attitude. I once saw him get into an argument with a member of the bloods. H challenged him to fight and walked over to a place where the guard and cameras couldnt see. The gang member was scared and said something about having to "talk to his people." H without missing a beat told him "bring your people!" He was ready to fight them all. There were like 4 or 5 bloods in that unit and H would've wrecked them. Aside from being bigger than any 2 of them combined you could just tell he was the last guy in there to mess with. He was like a modern day viking berserker. The bloods sent 1 of their ppl to go apologize to him. Was hilarious. Another reason everyone feared him was bc when he was in prison 3 men with knifes came into his cell to rob him of his commissary. He was stabbed multiple times but gouged one mans eye out and literally beat another to death by getting him down and punching his throat multiple times. He also didnt lose his commissary. H wouldn't talk about this until I'd known him for months. I originally heard the story from another guy who had been at that prison. When we were finally close enough for me to ask he told me the whole story, every detail, with a far off glassy look in his eyes and he showed me where they'd stabbed him up.
Anyway, he had read NOTW and WMF both and said they were incredible. Since we had discussed books a bunch I knew we had the same taste in them. I read NOTW on lockdowns and played a card game called spades on free time when we were allowed out of our cells. Spades is very serious business in jail and prison. Surprisingly H barely knew how to play and he was very bad. I however was as good as anyone in there. I was definitely a candidate for best player, if not best then top 3 for sure. I started teaching H to play well and training him to be my cards partner. Then something very sad happened. I finished the Name of the Wind.
The next free time I brought out TNOTW and gave it to H bc he wanted to reread it. I told him how empty my life had become since finishing it. He said "hold on" and went to his cell and came back with a brand new copy of Wise Mans Fear!! Even though he had read it he was such a bro he had his ppl send him a copy bc they'd send him as many books as he requested. I was elated. Those 2 books made my time so much better when I read them. I'd read straight from lockdown at 10 30pm until breakfast at 3 30 am then go to sleep after breakfast.
By this point H was a very good spades partner and wed taken to calling it "corners" like in the books. I think spades may have been the inspiration for corners bc they seemed very similar. After H finished Name of the Wind he asked if another fantasy book nerd could read it. I was happy to let them. From there the book traveled all around the unit with everyone loving it. Hardened criminals talking about Kvothe or how much they hate Denna. I once heard a member of the Mexican mafia explaining to his homeboys how badass Bast is and quoting what he told Chronicler. The "I'll make a game out of you" threat. It was crazy. If you asked around what the best book in the unit was the answer youd get was NOTW and WMF.
I finished WMF and it started making its travels around the dorm also. H had ordered slow regard for silent things but I didnt like it as much. Still glad I read it. H also started ordering this series called the Gray Man which i really liked but i had several of the gambling inmates come to me with an offer. They wanted me to be in charge of all the gambling for the unit. Basically I'd hand out poker chips and keep up with how much each person had lost or won. I'd make sure losers paid and winners got paid. Everyone recommends staying away from stuff like this bc if you get caught you go to the hole (the 3 before me were caught), ppl could lose a lot and then say they weren't going to pay so youd either have to fight them or look weak and once you look weak in there it's over for you and also you become the person with the most commissary items of anyone in the unit so you can pay the winners which makes you the very best person to rob, you are basically a 1 man casino after all. The benefit is every hand of poker played I earned 2 poker chips. 10 poker chips was worth a pack of ramen noodles/65 cents. These guys played poker for 8 hours a day 7 days a week. I made $25 to $40 worth of food every day 2 poker chips at a time.
I had no reason to hoard this stuff since i only had 5 weeks left before release when i got put in charge of poker. I also was slick with it. I was good friends with the 2 biggest meanest dudes in there and so if anyone acted like they wouldn't pay their debt I'd say "that's fine, I'll cover your debt out of my pocket and you'll just owe me but I'm going to send you to collections" then I'd point out H and the other huge guy "and if they have to go in your cell, beat your ass and take your shit they're taking everything. Not just what you lost at poker. Then they're probably going to keep doing it every week bc you cant stop them and you tried to fuck over their good friend (me)" everyone paid after that warning.
One day I even overheard the crips talking about "robbing the poker game" aka robbing me. This was laughable. By this time H and I were cellmates. There were only 3 crips in the unit and as H was fond of saying "none of them weigh more than 90lbs soaking wet that's why they joined gangs". I told them any time they want to run into me and Hs cell they were welcome. Just lmk I'll leave the door open. They later came and apologized and said they were just talking shit. Running the poker game was stressful but worth it. Myself, H and a few other ppl who looked out for me when I had nothing lived like kings with what I earned off the table. We feasted everyday and had unlimited coffee. I also helped out other ppl who didnt get any store bc they feed you dinner at 3 30pm and you dont eat again til 3 30 am so if you cant buy food you starve all evening and most of the night. They fed us very little and the food was only edible if you had to eat it to live.
I never got caught running gambling. A long time ago I learned the Masonic code that freemasons used to use bc I was a really weird kid (it's super easy) so I just kept my records in that. Not a single person refused to pay their debt to me (and risk collections lol) and I made sure winners were paid out at the start of each day. And I knew which items each player liked the most and made sure they got them. Previous ppl in my position kept all the best items and paid out BS. There was a fight once when one guy got paid with 2 bottles of water. I didnt accept bottled water and envelopes and dumb stuff like that lol. By the time I left 75% of the unit had read the kkc. None of us knew book 3 wasnt out yet so you often heard ppl saying they were going to get it as soon as they got out. Alas I said this myself. The rumor was that it was only out on hardback and we weren't allowed to get hardbacks.
Well that's my wacky story of how I got introduced to the KKC and it lead to me becoming great friends with the guy even the guards were scared of. Hes in prison now but I write him every couple of months. He was such an awesome dude bc he would say whatever he thought like "oh you're in that gang? I think they're all a bunch of pussies" and "oh you're friends with so and so? Yea I know him I beat his ass and took his dope. Knocked him out cold. Hope that's not your homeboy". I later found out he just didnt like most people bc he thought they were fake and scared to be themselves and always obsessed with appearing tough. He said my immediate willingness to nerd out about fantasy books showed I had no problem just being me and thats why he warmed up to me and not many others. I was the same book loving nerd in jail as out lol. He gets out in January. I intend to hang out with him. I still haven't broke it to him about book 3 lol.
Also let me clear up that with my history and all my trips behind bars I can definitely defend myself though I'm an average sized guy. I've never backed down from a fight in jail and always refused to show weakness but having H as my best friend definitely made life easier on me bc to fight me they would've had to have fought him also. He would tell ppl that he and I were brothers and it was us against the world. Kinda a joke since all gang members call other members their brothers. Also gang members have these intricate dumb secret handshakes so we made our own which was just doing a fist bump but as soon as our fists hit we would both put our thumbs up. It was dumb and really must've pissed off the gang members. Looking back I'm lucky he didnt get out before me or they wouldve beat the shit out of me hahaha unlike him I cant take on 3 or 4 ppl lol or 2.
It was really cool seeing groups of tattood up hardened criminals sitting around talking about how they'd break out of the jail if they could use sympathy and all kinds of crazy kkc convos hahaha.
If anyone knows how to play spades how close to the game of corners do you think it is?
Sorry if yall read this and considered it a horrible loss of time you'll never get back. Just wanted to share how I found these great books.
TLDR Went to jail and was given the Name of the Wind and loved it and it lead me to making friends that made my stay in jail much better and 75% of the guys I was locked up with read and loved KKC. Also how I ran an illegal casino in jail. Also I think corners and spades are the same games.

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How I discovered the KKC - in JAIL. Lol. Also do you think corners and spades are the same game?

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