Donk Bet – Foolish or Genius? - Texas Holdem Questions

Yes, they exist, the people that play poker with playmoney only. It’s just for entertainment and nothing bad can happen, but this also leads to an environment where the players don’t respect your raises and are just calling everything. Unless you play the 2-3 highest stakes/tables.
So it’s your turn to adapt and exploit the fish. For beginners it’s great to learn about the structure and „how it works“, but it has nothing to do with real cash games. Every 2/4 cent real money table plays more serious poker than the 90% of the WSOP Playtika players. I will explain where you find the 10%. That beeing said it’s a fun experience to get into the game but if you ever plan on playing for real cash and are a beginner, avoid this.
I am at 18 Billion chips now and would like to share some tipps and tricks on how to build a bankroll and „where“ and „how“ to play the WSOP „cashgames“.
1.) Learn to fold. Seriously. I got a pre-flop fold percentage of ~48 % and yes, that is super tight for WSOP App games. Whenever I check the profiles I usually find 10 % (lol) to 35% pre-flop fold statistics so the „Game“ for most players is less poker mathematics but watching flop action. Keep that in mind and expolit this.
2.) Hence my next advice, be patient. Act like are a glitch on the table that calls or raises accidentally. Wait for good hands . But don’t play like a robot that only plays KK and AA on the button. Calling with TJ or 89 as suited connectors out of position is not a bad idea because sometimes even the other players register that you are only in action with strong hands. Someone that folded 30 turns and only played his blinds and even folded SB here and there is suspicious when raising. Not every table has 9 clueless donks.
3.) Raise once in a while. Only calling Leads to the usual flop action where 7 of 10 players are still in the pot and you will be wrecked in the river so often. Forcing the loose players to pot size bets makes some of them hesitate and fold their 59 preflop that might catch the 9 and 9 on the Turn and River.
4.) Players that hit the flop even with the lowest pair won’t fold, and thats were you get your playmoney profit long term. Most of them refuse to surrender and even call pot size bets on the turn and river even if they are beat.
5.) The WSOP Playtika App always suggest you play the maximum possible buyin tables and ignores bankroll management. That is your responsibility.
I usually only play with 10-15% of my Bankroll, but I play with Auto Rebuy (that only will be an issue because playmoney has variance, too, and your well played all in flush might eventually lose on the river) and Auto Top Off. That means I always play with the maximum buyin/BB on that table to get paid when I hit the nuts and face another player that fuels a big pot.
It’s the worst feeling to win less because you could not maximize the pot bets.
6.) You remember the 10 % I mentioned that „somehow“ play more serious Poker? They exist, but you only find them in the last third of the High Stakes tables.
The Playmoney WSOP tables are structured like this with Stakes and Buy In Ranges:

• 5K/10K - 50K/1.25M
  
• 10K/20K - 500K/2.5M
  
• 25K/50K - 1.25M/6.25M
  
• 50K/100k - 2.5M/12.5M
  
• 100K/200K - 5M/25M
  
• 300K/600K - 15M/75M
  
• 600K/1.2M - 30M/150M
  
• 1.25M/2.5M - 62.5M/312.5M
  
• 3M/6M - 150M/750M
  
• 6M/12M - 300M/1.5B
  
• 12.5M/25M - 600M/3B
  
• 30M/60M - 1.5B/7.5B
  

Once you play at the 6M+ stakes tables you will face a different type of players: Many have levels of 200 and 300 and more which means they grinded fast and/or well. They play this game at least more than „casually“ and more focused and act slightly tighter. The pre flop percentage usually is above 40% so there are less limpers and calling stations. Be careful if you find 50% pre flop folders and <5% post flop raisers. They will have strong hands once they start betting and raising.
The most „serious“ playmoney poker gamers are in the last 2 tables, because the 3B table is an equivalent of ~ 90 Euro/Dollars and you won’t find casuals here that throw away real money. Players of the highest playmoney limits actually follow fundamental poker strategy and respect your behavior and raises. You will find players there with way better reads and you won’t find casual limpers that play for the action.
So the good news is, you CAN have a somewhat serious full ring poker action at the WSOP playmoney community. The bad news is you have to grind through the donk festivals of the first 8-9 limits and tables. It’s frustrating sometimes but be patient, fold often and make the calling stations pay with your sets.
Some additional thoughts: - ignore the Momentum - ignore the Slot Machine - a big friendlist is nice for many free chips here and there - ignore the obnoxious Piggy Bank
That’s it. Any other WSOP playmoney poker entertainment folks here?

I yell at my Mom to hurry up as she tries to recreate the pokerstars Team Pro patch on my Run It Once hoodie. She flinches and pricks her finger with the needle.
lol dumb bitch I think to myself as I dunk my tendies into Chik Fil A sauce.
Tonight is my live cash debut. I watched all of Doug's Polker (lol) hands. I read all the UpSwing articles and browse this sub religiously. I would be an online crusher if it weren't rigged and if the rake weren't so high. These live donks won't know what hit them.
I finish my dinner and snatch my hoodie from my Mom. "Have fun playing with your friends," she says as she hugs me. I want to tell her there are no friends at the table. There are only Sharks and Fish and I'm a Mother Fucking Great White. Instead I take the opportunity to remove her debit card from the purse sitting at the table. My $400 bankroll might need a little assistance against the live variance.
I slip on my RIO hoodie over my UpSwing tank top, then finish with a Favorable hat. I check my backpack and find everything I need for the upcoming grind: granola bars, power bank, sunglasses, wireless headphones, 2 big Monsters, and my preflop charts.
I get on the subway (Mom needed the mini van for church) heading to Encore Boston Harbor. I feel all the eyes of the commuters on me. They've never seen a man like me before: 140 LBS all muscle and discipline. I DARE someone try to angle me today at the table. I will fucking delete them from existence.
I finally arrive, and walk through the resort towards the Casino doors. A security guard in a Red Jacket stops me. He points at my bag, "You can't bring that inside."
Immediately my eyes get hot and I try to quickly blink back the tears. I get ready to explain that I have a medical problem and the items in my bag helps reduce sensory overload and high-stress inducing--
"You can't bring those energy drinks inside sir."
"Oh." I take my Monsters out of the side pockets and throw them in the bin. The Security Guard nods, "Welcome to the Encore."
Wow, what an asshole. He gets a little authority and goes on a power trip.
I scan the casino floor for the poker room and find the sign. I take the escalators up and approach the front desk.
"Hi, I'd like to play 3NL."
"I'm sorry, do you mean $1/3 No Limit?" the Manager replies.
I chuckle. These morons have never played online where the real pros are.
"Yeah, that's the same thing as 3NL. It's what we call it online."
"Right. Do you have a card?"
I hand over my Driver's License.
"Uh no, a Red Card. Do you have a Red Card with us?"
I can feel the tears forming again. I told my Mom to write down everything I'd need to play and of course she fucks it up. I need a Red Card to play and she didn't make me one. Can't even fucking trust family.
The Manager sees my eyes water, "It's okay if you don't. We can have one made for you. What are your initials?"
"J. Z." I'm gonna fool this room into thinking Jay Z is here LOL.
"You're all set. It shouldn't be too long. You're number 4 on the list."
"Thank you."
10 minutes later they call me and I sit down. Everyone is drinking except 1 Asian kid with a face mask. The goofy MAWG with a big stack (about 300BB effective) welcomes me to the table as I sit down to his left. "Look guys we finally got a pro to teach us how to play."
I can see through his laughter that he's afraid of me. He realized a human PIO solver just got position next on him. Unfortunately for him, I'm not here to give lessons.
I give the Chip Runner $100 (I figured out an unbeatable short stack strategy) and go to the bathroom to go over my preflop charts. When I return, 30 minutes later, my chips are there and I'm ready to play.
First hand, I get JdJh UTG+1. MAWG straddled so I'm first to act. I try to go all in but my hands are shaking and I drop $40 in chips before it goes over the line and Asian pro calls string bet. Bet is $60. It folds to MAWG.
"Why so much?" he asks. I don't say anything. I close my eyes and curse myself for not taking out my sunglasses earlier. "You have Jacks?" he continues. I make a mental note to protect my cards better because clearly this dickhead is peaking at my cards. MAWG folds. EZ game. I slide a Red bird to the dealer as she moves the pot towards me. Our hands touch. She thanks me for the tip and calls me honey. I'm fucking in. Definitely gonna smash that later.
1 hour later I'm in the BB with 6c6d. It limps to me and I check. Flop is 7s6h5s. Check, I check to trap, checks to CO who bets $10. BINGO.
Folds to me, I make it $50, LJ calls, CO jams for $200, I call with my remaining $40, LJ tank calls. LJ covers.
Turn Ad. River Ks. I groan. No one wants to show first and floor is called. CO shows 75o. I think my set of Sixes are good. LJ shows 4d3d. What a fucking slow roll.
I rebuy, this time to the max $300. These guys clearly don't know how to play, and they'll make even more errors deepstacked.
Asian pro opens to $15 from MP. Folds to me on the BU with AdAh. I think about how I'm going to mix. 12.5% raise to $30. 16.8% raise to 45, 25.7% raise to $60, and 52.3% Call. I run an RNG generator in my head and decide on a Call.
Flop J43r. Asian pro Cbets $15. I run RNG again and call.
Turn 9. Asian pro overbets $75. I tank and wince, pretending this is a tough spot. 5 minutes later I turn to the Dealer, "All In." Asian pro snap calls and shows KsKd. I wait.
River 5. I show and Asian pro mucks. Fucking OWNED LOL. Everyone at the table tells me Nice Hand. They ask why I didn't 3bet. I remind them I could have but I have to balance my calling range. "If I had like Ace Five suited I would have 3bet to like $73 so his MDF is really hard. MDF is Minimum Defense Frequency by the way. I figured it out with PIO which is a Solver. I node lock the scripts and run the trees and it gives me a balanced GTO aggregate."
The table gets quiet now. No one is talking anymore. I try to think of a way to liven up the table. I see the Player across from me order a sandwich and I yell "LOOSEY GOOSEY. LOOSEY GOOSEY.". Everyone looks at me weird.
Fucking normies.
Another hour later I'm UTG with AKs and I open to $15. Asian pro calls in CO. MAWG calls in BB. Flop Q98. Check, I CBet $30 to apply pressure. I have a range advantage and this is a great board for me if I have Aces or Queens. Asian pro and MAWG calls.
Turn Q. Check, I barrel again for $100. I can have AQ and QQ.
Call, Call.
River 5. Check. I'm sweating and I feel like I want to throw up. But I have to continue the story. I rip it in. All In $455.
Asian pro snap folds. EZ. MAWG tanks... and tanks... I can't stop shaking my feet and my mouth is dry. MAWG flips over his cards. KQs. "Is this good?" I give him absolutely nothing. My phone vibrates and I nearly shit myself.
"Fuck it, I call."
I don't show my cards and pretend I didn't hear him.
"I said I call."
I stare at my hands.
The Dealer waves to me "He said call."
I freeze up. I'm in shock.
Asian pro asks for floor, and I sheepishly reveal my cards. AdKd.
MAWG gets out of his seat mad as fuck "Fuck you man. You fucking piece of shit. You slow rolling fuck." I don't know what's going on. Dealer moves my card to the middle and announces "Nut Flush." and mucks MAWG's cards.
BOARD: Qs9h8d Qd 5d
Floor gets security and they remove MAWG from the Casino before I decide to give this fat ass a public beat down.
It takes me 30 minutes to stack my chips. My hands are shaking from the adrenaline. I have $1310 in front of me. I want to leave but I don't want it to look like a hit and run.
I check my phone and see my Mom's text.

I'm going to bed. Good night Sweetie.

Perfect.
"Sorry guys, my girl texted me and she wants me home," I tell the table. No one says anything.
I rack up and cash out. I wake up my Mom and tell her to pick me up.
On the way home I tell my Mom about how I beat a table full of pro players and the sick hand against the Asian pro and MAWG. I open my wallet and show her all the Hundreds. She asks what her debit card is doing there and I lie and say she gave it to me. Old age is getting to her.
All in all, a great session. I got in the streets and mixed it up and came out a Champion. Round 2 is coming soon, and this time I'm coming for the $2/5 shit regs.

In Polker Hands (with Doug Pok), he is always in favour of checking when out of position after the flop, to "protect all our holdings". This is not just a Doug Pokl thing either: It's called a donk bet for a reason.
So my question is this: While I get that there's nothing wrong with sometimes donk betting, why is okay to never donk bet? Shouldn't being so predictable be exploitable? Shouldn't donk betting with our absolute best and absolute worst hands be equitable? I get Doulg Pok's arguments about why it's generally bad to donk bet, but why never?

Three men try to open dio's coffin.
Dio breaks out of coffin yelling AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
It turned out that DIO, DIO DIO DIO DIODIODIO
Old joseph joestar runs while panting
Joseph: SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT *hits man* SOMETHING IS QUI-
Plane
More joseph running and panting
Joseph: GET OUT
Jotaro: No
Joseph: GET OUT! *Throws avdol at the cell
Jotaro: If i get out i will kill you with this *star platinum appears* funky purple dude who keeps conveniently giving me everything i want. Soda RC car gun. *attempts to shoot self but star platinum grabs the bullet. Okay not doing that one again that was a little stupid
*Magicians red melts bars*
Avdol: Get out!
Jotaro: *gets out* Alright that's it you're-
Holly: Yaaaaaayyyyy~!
Joseph: Good job avdol!
Jotaro: What a bother
Joseph: Alright so your funky purple dude is whats known as a stand and they are the physical manifestations of the fighting spirit and all have weirdly specific special and/or situational abilities. So only stand users can see other stands
Except for when they don't
Joseph: Only stands can harm other stands
Except for when they don't
Joseph: And all damage done to a stand will reflect to the user
Except for when they don't!
Joseph: You need to pay attention and remember these new rules because NOTHING will make sense from now on otherwise
Jotaro: Cool
Mohammed Avdol's Magician's red: Shoots fire ~~But it's like, invisible fire because it's stand fire so only stand users can see the fire, also there's like 70 different named attacks he uses with varying degrees of frequency- Including like, there's a compass thing he uses once and doesn't really do anything and immediately dies after using- Oh oops wait you're not supposed to know that yet~~
Joseph: My stand is Hermit Purple and my ability activates when i punch a camera WA-HAHH! *Punches camera with his fist covered in vines*
Jotaro: How did you figure that one out
Joseph: Trial and error
Joseph joestars Hermit purple. Punch a camera see a naked man
*Insert picture of dio with a star birthmark and a fly next to him*
Avdol: There he is!
Joseph: It's DIO! He was about to take over the world but then my grandfather Jonathan Joestar killed him except he didn't actually because DIO stole Jonathan's body and i can tell because he's got the star birthmark everybody in the joestar lineage definitely always had including me, You my daughter holly, and you my granson Jotaro
Holly & Jotaro: Wow i somehow never noticed
Joseph: It is your destiny to defeat DIO! and mine! It is both our destinies. Not yours- *pushes holly away* To defeat DIO, and he will be beaten, and-
Jotaro: Oh my god i don't care
Kakyoin: *Hierophant green comes out from behind Kakyoin* I Kakyoin have been sent here by DIO to defeat-
Jotaro: OHH greeat is this what we're doing then *Star platinum punches kakyoin really really hard sending him flying into a tv*
Noriaki Kakyoin's Heriophant Green: I guess he possesses a body that one time but he mostly just shoots rocks
Jotaro: Okay so i guess since we're all doing tarot cards for stand names. I will assert myself as one who passes judgement on others, thus i shall name my stand-
Avdol: YOU GET THIS ONE *Throws the star 17 tarot card at jotaro*
Star platinum: SUTAA PURACHINA
Jotaro: Uhhh Star Platinum it is then
Jotaro Kujo's Star Platinum: Punchy boy ~~And then some~~
Kakyoin: Look i know we got off on the wrong foot but i was being possessed by this DIO forehead squid would you mind if i became a main character?
Jotaro: Whatever
Joseph: Oh no! Holly's developing a stand but it's killing her!
Holly: Mild cough fever headrush dainty swoon faint! *Faints onto a bed*
Holly Kujo's Who Cares: ...I can't possibly explain this without sounding sexist
Joseph: Not that this will make any sense in the greater canon but we need to save her by getting rid of her stand and we do that by killing DIO! ...Probably. I can feel it it's in my blood or whatever.
Jotaro: As the old adage goes, he cannot be beaten up unless I am standing next to him... ...Unless... Unless I am close to him... Okay bad read don't worry i'll think up something more clever.
THEY FOUND IT IT'S THE FLY
Advol: It's the fly!
Joseph: Let's go to Egypt!
Advol Jotaro Kakyoin: Yes!
Plane
Dio:I HAVE USED MY OWN CAMERA PUNCHING ABILITY AND DISCOVERED THEY ARE ON A PLANE GOING IN MY DIRECTION GOOD THING I ALREADY PUT A SABOTEUR ON THAT PLANE WHICH I GUESS MEANS I KNEW IN ADVANCE THEY WERE GOING TO GO ON THAT PLANE MEANING I DIDN'T NEED TO PUNCH THIS EXPENSIVE CAMERA WHAT WASTE OF MONEY I WILL NOW PROCEED TO NEVER USE THIS ABILITY AGAIN AND HAVE SEX AT LEAST FOUR PEOPLE.
Advol Kakyoin: It's the fly!
Gray fly: I hope it doesn't say "Massacare" on the wall AAAAA *stab*.
Gray Fly's Tower of Gray:Not actually a fly *Plane crash*
Joseph: This was a huge waste of time we almost killed like 70 people.
Jotaro: This is a;; your fault i'm never going on a plane again.
Kakyoin: Hey break it up you two-.
Star platinum: ORA *boof*.
Polnareff: Check this out-.
Jean Pierre Polnareff's Silver Chariot: He has a sword Also he can take off his armor and it makes him, like- faster? Also he can shoot his sword, but only once...??.
Polnareff: Look i know we got off on the wrong foot but-
Jotaro: Yeah yeah forehead squid got it I anticipate we'll either have a team of thirty by the end of this trek or we just so happen to coincidentally stop seeing forehead squids from this point forward
Polnareff: i will follow you to egypt to go find the man with 6 fingers uhh i mean the man with two right hands because he killed my father i mean my younger sister hey check this flashback out
DIO: I'M GOING TO CONVINCE YOU USING THIS FOREHEAD SQUID TO GO BEAT UP THE JOESTARS IN A YEAR I GUESS BECAUSE THIS FLASHBACK SCENE IS FROM A YEAR AGO WHICH IS A LITTLE CONFUSING ANYWAYS LOOK AT THIS CRYSTAL BALL IT SHOWS A VISION OF THE TWO RIGHT HAND MAN HAHA LOOK AT HOW CHARISMATIC I AM I WILL NOW PROCEED TO NEVER USE THIS ABILITY AGAIN OH LOOK IT'S 10 O'CLOCK FETCH MY TANKTOP I HAVE A DATE!
The plane didn't work so now they're taking a boat OH NO
Joseph: The boat didn't work!
Kakyoin: Jotaro's in the water
Imposter Captain Tennille's Dark Blue Moon: He's in the water
Polnareff: Wow i can't believe you pointed at him so hard he exploded!
Jotaro: Natural Talent
*VERY LOUD BOAT HORN*
Forever's Strength: Yes the orangutan is the user, Yes the orangutan has a name, Yes the boat is the stand, OH MY GOD THE BOAT IS THE STAND!
Joseph: No thanks!
Jotaro: How annoying!
Polnareff: What an exhausting trek please exit my fridge
Devo: YOU FOUND ME! HHGHHCHHGHCKCKK
Devo but doll: NOW YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY- HHGHGHKCKKGHKCK
Devo's Ebony Devil: No no I mean, he gets stabbed right, and he gets angry, and the anger makes him possess the doll?
Joseph: Mirror mirror on the wall who's the
Avdol: Wait you mean you don't need to punch a camera to use your ability?
TV: Kakyoin's gonna kill you!
Joseph: OH!
Fake kakyoin: I Kakyoin am going to kill you
Jotaro: You're not kakyoin
Fake kakyoin: I can't believe you saw through my ruse
Star Platinum: ORA! *Boof. Also EPIC FORESHADOWING*
Kakyoin: Goodness I say-
Rubber Soul's Yellow Temperance: Look, I know ending last episode with a "Kakyoin's a traitor" cliffhanger was a bit of a fib but it was cool for a second right? ... right?
Polnareff: I have been attacked by the man with two right hands, I must go alone to fight for revenge!
Joseph: ...Or you could not
Polnareff: THIS IS MY BATTLE TO WIIIIIN
Hol Horse: Imma getcha
Polnareff: THE ENEMY!
Hol Horse's Emperor: GUN *Bang*
Avdol:Oh jeez whatever will i do! uhhhhhhhhhh
Avdol's dead...?
Polnareff: I will have my revenge!
J. Geil: My foolproof strategy will involve revealing myself to you and yelling at people HEY Y'ALL
Polnareff: HHGHGHKCKKGHKCK
J. Geil's Hanged Man: Technically not a man in the mirror
Enyaba: Get my good side *Click* *Splurt* Oh nooo
Joseph: The next thing you will dsy is "Chumimin"
Arm goop: ...chumimi- *DONK*
Nena's Empress: Arm goop
Kakyoin: Road trip!
ZZ:Duel 1971 vroom vroom
Kakyoin:What
ZZ's Wheel of Fortune: Duel 1971 vroom vroom
Joseph: I'm exhausted again let's pit stop in the literal worst town ever
Enyaba: Hello welcome to worst town ever I am not evil don't mind the zombies
Polnareff Nice lady, nice lady, right? What a nice lady
Enyaba: *angery*
Hol Horse: I have returned!
Enya: No you haven't!
Hol Horse: Correct!
Polnareff: Hello nice lady!
Enyaba: aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Enyaba's Justice: See where incorrect breathing GETS YOU
Joseph: Wow i can't believe you breathed so hard she imploded!
Jotaro: "Natural Talent?"
Polnareff: Interrogation begin!
*BANG*
Polnareff: Well I tried!
Steely dan: Hello you cannot punch me-
Starplatinum: ORA *boof*
Joseph: MY KIDNEY
Steely dan: Or else you will hurt Joseph Joestar!
Polnareff and Kakyoin: Uh Oh
Jotaro: FUCK
Steely Dan's Lovers: So Jotaro was just left alone with someone he's not allowed to punch I can ony imagine this will go well
Kakyoin: Not that this will make any sense in th egreater canon but we must enter Joseph's brain by becoming super small which is something we could definitely always do and fighting the enem-
Polnareff: THE ENEMY
Kakyoin:... E-enemy's stand
Joseph: I shall provide a live feed and commentary! ...Which is something I also definitely could always do
Hierophant Green: We found him no we haven't yes we have!
Polnareff: He's out!
Kakyoni: We did it!
Steeldan: Uh Oh
StarPlatinum:ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAOA ORA! *Boof*
Arabia Fats's The Sun: Lol
Kakyoin Joseph Jotaro: Lol *Smack*
Joseph: Man Egypt sure is far away!
Jotaro: Hey, something we actually agree on
Joseph: Do you think that means-
Jotaro: Yh- Wait, no, we're not-
Joseph: Maybe we could-
Jotaro No we're not tslking-
Joseph: Maybe we could fly
Jotaro: WE'RE NOT TAKING A PLANE
Joseph: Fly the rest og the way?
Jotaro: JIJI
*Plane* ...Oh * Crash* GODDAMMIT
Kakyoin: IT'S ALL THE BABY'S FAULT wait no it's not ... WAIT YES IT IS
Mannish Boys Death 13: Tally-ho but said wrong
Polnareff: Hey look it's Avfol!
Gray Avdol: I'm not Avdol i'm... Gray... Avdol.
Polnareff: Wow
Judgement: HAVE YOU WATCHED ALADDIN
Polnareff: That ain't out yet
Judgement: Uhhhh then this might take a hot minute to explain
Cameo's Judgment: Morph dirt
Advol: It is I, Mohammed Advol, and I am alive again! Now when i,m winning I do a little dance that's my new thing
Polnareff: Wow I like this new Advol! Hey guys, Advol's alive!
Joseph: Yeah duh hey look a method of transport we haven't been attacked in yet!
Polnareff: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YEAH DUH"
Joseph: I can only see this going well
Everyone: AHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH
Midler's High Priestess: Morph mineral
Jotaro: The sea sucks! Nothing good ever happens in the sea!
Midler: You cannot destroy the teeth, it is as hard as diamonds, and diamond is unbreakab- *Teeth destroyed* Bb ... Diamond is unbrehh... blehh
Joseph: We've arrived in Egypt!
Advol: We're also pretty much out of tarot cards so we must be almost done!
Kakyoni: ...Definitely
DIO: GOOD WORK THAT'S IT FOR TODAY TEAM, TIME TO MOVE OUT BECAUSE I GUESS THE INCIDENTAL CHARACTER SPEEDWAGON FOUNDATION FOUND OUT WHERE I LIVE SOMEHOW
Delivery man: Delivery
Joseph: Look, it's our new dog friend main character companion! He has 3 funny quirks 1 He chews hair 2 He farts when chewing hair! 3 He eats coffee gum? What a funny wacky character! Also he's a stand user
Iggy: Woof
Iggy's the fool Morph sand... Car
N'Doul: Here I go i'm gonna getcha
Kakyoin: Ahh, goodness gracious... uhhhhhhh
N'douls Geb: Attacked by water? in the DESERT? OH what irony
*Plane* *tbh*
N'doul: i've got you now
*DOG* WOOF
Jotaro: You have been defeated now tell us who- Good grief!
N'dould: I may have destroyed my brain but I will first detail a bit of handy exposition for your consideration, your next set of stand-user villians including me are all based on the 9 Egyptian gods extending this series roughly an extra 20 episodes have fun fighting a bird and a sword despite that flashback scene exclusively showing humanoid charachters, bleh
jotaro: Hey so we need to defeat 9 Egyptian gods
Joseph: So you mean we have to defat 8 Egyptian gods?
Jotaro: Yes, we need to defeat 6 Egyptian gods
Joseph: Got it!
Oingo and Boingo: ...Oops- OOPS- Oops-Oops- *Explosion*
Oingo's Khnum - Morph faaaace
Boingo's Thoth - Book that you read and nothing else
Polnareff: I will gte you now that polanareff has the sword!
Jotaro: That would be threatening if punching the sword wasn't an option
Polnareff What do you mean punching the sw- *ORA*
Anubis's... Anubis: evil sword nyehh >:)
*bzzt*
Joseph: HBGBGBBGHBHBGHBH
Jotaro: Hello Polnareff-shaped child
*avdol flies into joseph*
Mariah's Bastet: *ELECTRICAL OUTLET*
Alessi's Set: Shadow ax child Polnareff penis
Jotaro, Polnareff, Avdol, And Joseph: You wouldn't believe what we just had to deal with
Polnareff Avdol And Joseph: it was weirdly sexual!
Jotaro: what
Joseph* WA-HAH! *Le camera punch* New image!
Avdol: It's DIO's building
Jotaro: We must approach DIO to approach that building.. Wait, no, other way around
Daniel: I know where that building is but you must gamble with me
Daniel J. D'arby's Osiris: *Subpar Pokemon Battle Jingle imitation*
Daniel: You will play the cat game will the cat go left or right
Polnareff: Right
Daniel: Hey cat go left!
Cat: Meow *Goes left*
Daniel: You lost the cat game
Polnareff: *Sucked into a poker chip by osiris* BuuaAHHH
Joseph: Play the drink game!
Daniel: Roll for precision
Joseph: Twenty
Daniel: Not good enough
Joseph: Yh- w-what do you mean nOT GOOD ENOWAAAAHHH- *Le sucked in*
Daniel: Play the card game!
Jotaro: Wow i have the best cards I'm so good
Daniel: What!
Jotaro I'm just the absolute best at this game i can't be beat
Daniel: HHGHHRHGRHHGG *Table flip*
*Pop* *Pop*
Polnareff: Wow
DIO: RHINOCEROS BEETLE RHINOCEROS BEETLE-
Hol Horse: I have returned!
DIO: *Timestop teleports behind hol horse* NO YOU HAVEN'T
Hol horse: Correct!
DIO: RHINOCEROS BEETLE RH-
Hol horse: Hello child together we are invincible and will defeat the oops
Boingo: Oops
*Explosion*
Polnareff: Today in Polnareff teaches about foreign culture! Do not sit down! Tip your kettle over! Never drop your things! You are always paying too much! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A TOILET
Iggy: It is time for my episode.
Pet shop: It is i bird cacaw! *Chops off iggy's leg*
Pet shop's horus. Under pressure but bad
Joseph: We have located the Taj Mahal or whatever!
Avdol: Thanks to our old pal Iggy
Iggy: I hate this everything hurts!
Kakyoin: Also I'm back and wearing a new pair of snazzy sunnies! ...You know, for protection
Can't tell who's talking: We must enter the building!
Terrence: Play my video games *Shlorp*
Polnareff and avdol: No no no no no
Terence T. D'arby's Atum: OH THATS A BASEBALL!
Jotaro: First try idiot
Polnareff: Well it's been two seconds time to burn the whole building down.
Avdol: Wait! What if we instead went inside to locate the enemy oursel-
Polnareff: THE ENEMY!
Iggy: Woof!
Kenny G.: Blehh
Avdol: Oh neat
Kenny G's Tenor Sax: ...eeehhhh he's dead now so whatever
DIO: THEY HAVE APPROACHED MY HIDEY HOLE HERE IN THE TAJ MAHAL OR WHATEVER PROVE YOUR LOYALTY BY CHOPPING OFF YOUR HEAD
Vanilla Ice: *Le slice*
DIO: HEHHEHHEHHEH COOL
Meanwhile in the taj mahal or whatever
Avdol: Fl- *Cream munched*
Polnareff: Oohhhh nooo!! This couldn't get any worse!!!
*Iggy is cream munched*
Polnareff: AAHHHHH GAAHHD
Vanilla Ice's Cream: A SNAKE HEAD EATING THE HEAD ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE!
Polnareff: I found you!
DIO: TO BEAT ME YOU MUST APPROACH ME!
Polnareff: Okay!
DIO: ZA WARUDO! *Time stops then moves polanreff down the stairs while making sounds of either pain or fatigue* I'M VERY INTIMIDATING
Polnareff: Goodness gracious! Hey guys, so everybody's dead and DIO's confusing
Joseph: Sucks! But sounds about right
Polnareff: We should attack him now!
Joseph: We should not!
Polnareff: Good idea let's do both
*Jotaro and Polnareff on a motorcyle noises*
*DIO flying through the air making a Shhhhhhhhhh noise*
*Kakyoin and joseph using their stands to web sling*
Kakyoin: Why were we never doing this before!
Joseph: ALWAYS WISH UPON A STAR!
Kakyoin: I have an idea on how to learn DIO's ability! I will create this web and-
*Quick time stop end result*
Joseph: Good job kakyoin!
*Kakyoin hits water tower and dies*
*Joseph falls off building*
Joseph: Hey Jotaro! DIO'S ability is to stop time-
DIO: ZA WARUDO! I WIN, NOW I WILL- OH, GODDAMN MAGIC SUNLIGHT BULLSHIT NYEH! *Dio throws knife*
Joseph: HGUEHGH
DIO: IT'S TIME FOR OUR FINAL BATTLE
Jotaro: I have to get closer before i can shit on you- Agh- DAMMIT
*Video end fake out*
DIO: ZA WARUDO! HAHAH! YOU'VE BEEN JAPED! IT WAS DIFFERENT TO WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING
DIO's THE WORLD: Punchy boy Oh and- ~~Also the ability to stop time for up to five seconds, in which the user can move around and interact with people and objects, including but not limited to: Polnareff, knives, hierophant green's very invincible emerald splash, heavy duty construction vehicles, Jotaro, occasionally not Jotaro, oh wow remember when dio punched a camera and used a crystal ball yeah those are abilities he has too, ahhhhhhhhhhh~~
Star platinum: *Ora barrage*
DIO: *Screaming muda* WE APPEAR TO BE SIMILAR IN STRENGTH AND SPEED I HOPE THIS DOESN'T TRANSLATE INTO OTHER SIMILARITIES ZA WARUDO. *Time stop* I'M GONNA GETCHA
Jotaro: E
DIO: WHAaAaAaAaT THE FUCK!!
*time stop end
DIO: WHAT WAS THAT?
Jotaro: What was what
DIO: THAT THING YOU DID
Jotaro: A loser says what
DIO: WHAT?
Jotaro: Aaahahhahhahah
DIO: ZA WARUDO! *Time stop begin* OHH IT WAS JUST A MAGNET YOU LITTLE WEENIE YOU
Star platinum: ORA! *Punches dio*
*Dio goes flying into trash cans*
DIO: GGBRGRGRGB *Smash* I HATE THIS AND I HATE YOU ZA WA- *Time stops just showing end result which is just teleporting basically* OHHH GREAT IS THIS WHAT WE'RE DOING THEN ZA WARUDO! *Le time stop* NNNYBHBEHHYBYHEBHYH *Dio throws a thousand knives*
Jotaro: Uh oh *Time resumes* *Goes flying* uuueeeeeeeeeehh Oh no, I've been got ugyaaa i'm definitely dead.
DIO: TIME TO FINISH YOU OFF-
Polnareff: *Stabs dio with silver chariot in the forehead* WAHA!
DIO: *Time stop to knock polnareff away while not seeming to have taken damage* TIME TO FINISH YOU OFF!! WAIT ARE YOU DEAD?
Jotaro: ...Yes
DIO: OKAY THEN I-
Star platinum: ORA! *Le punch*
DIO *Goes flying* UGGHEGGMEMGGBBGEBGBGBG *small time stop and goes by while holding car*
Jotaro: Give me a fucking break uh oh
DIO: NOW I'M SUPER DUPER POWERED AND FULL OF JOESTAR BLOOD EVEN THOUGH TECHNICALLY I WAS ALREADY FULL OF JOESTAR BLOOD BBBBRRFBBRFFFF *Time stop. AGAIN* LOOK AT ME GO LOOK AT ME GO AREN'T I JUST THE BEST DON'T THINK TOO HARD ABOUT WHERE I GOT THIS LIPSTICK FROM
Star platinum: ORA *Le failed punch*
DIO: OH NO HERE COMES THE JOJE SURPRISE I CAN STOP TIME FOR EVEN MORE SECONDS NOW
Jotaro: Not that that wording makes any sense-
DIO: ZA WARUDO!! *ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING TIME STOP*
*clock ticking sounds*
DIO: ROAD ROLLER DAA!! *Muda barrage on road roller daa!*
Jotaro: *Time stop teleport onto road roller* surprise BITCH!
Star platinum: *Le hard punch*
DIO: WRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY
And then DIO's head exploded
Jotaro: *Slaps joseph's dead body* Hey! Wake up! Are you alive again?
Joseph: 'Weird Al' Yankovic canonically exists in the JoJo universe!
Jotaro: ...Okay he's back
Polnareff: I'm still alive too!
Jotaro & Joseph: Hurrah!
Polnareff: Good talk bye!
Jotaro: Call me!
Meanwhile in Japan
Holly: WOAW
Hey remember when this story was about vampires? me neither Anyways so DIO's body melts in the sunlight
Joseph: Okay so we may or may not've lost half of our crew and killed countless bystanders but at least DIO's dead! ...Definitely. ...Definitely. ...Definitely? ...Re- Really? Ah uh... Okaym well uhh... Time to go see my wife who I have a healthy monogamous relationship with! ...Ah, oh wait
Jotaro: Yare Yare Da-
TO BE CONTINUED
Walk like an egyptiaaan
Look, they stopped using Roundabout by this point in the show? So I- I thought- I thought maybe like i should. *ROUNDABOUT CAMEO!*

MTTs usually have lots of variation, which is fine, but I usually find my greatest challenge is donks who usually range or call and shove a wide range of hands. For reference I usually play $11 to $33 PokerStars tournaments and I don't consider myself a professional player by any standards, but here's an example:
I will raise to 4BB on AKs, and get called by a verified donk on the table. When the flop comes 7 4 2 off-suit, donk is liable to fire it all in. I know I have the range advantage against most people with TPTK in this situation and would bet accordingly, except these cards are in the exact range of the donkeys on the table. to make matters worse, there's always a donk or two at the table and they're often deep-stacked. I'm not trying to hate on other play styles, if people find a strategy that works and I'm getting stacked by them then I actually enjoy studying those hands and learning from it.
So I was wondering how the fine people of poker counter these players?

This is a minor update of an update of an earlier post.

1. Gramps - 60+ years old. On a first name basis with all of the dealers and TDs. Pre-flop raising range at every seat on the table is exactly AQ+ and JJ+. Likes the sneaky UTG limp with AA, then curses the deck and flips his cards away in disgust when someone sucks out on him in the 5-way limped pot he created, always face up so you can see he had AA. Gradually folds down to 15 BBs until he makes a desperate shove with K7o on a 4-way A high flop out of tiredness and frustration. Shakes head in disgust while standing up and leaving the table.
   
2. Young Man Coffee - Extremely tight 30-40 something ABC player who waits for AA+, yet somehow keeps making enough hands and getting paid off to stay in the tournament. His stack dwindles down to to 8 BBs and you snap off his BTN shove with TT only to be up against JJ+. Inside your head you mock his cowardly, risk-averse strategy, but when you stroll past the tables 2-3 hours after you busted the tournament, he is still sitting out there with a healthy stack.
   
3. The False Alarm - Young guy with sunglasses. Tanks for 10 seconds before every action. Looks like a serious player. You are initially intimidated by him. After three levels of play you realize he's a relatively weak nit who folds to every c-bet or re-raise without the absolute coconuts.
   
4. The Time Bomb - A master of self-sabotage. Plays solid poker for about 4 hours. Then blows up out of nowhere with an insane play in a situation where his hand is never, ever good. Misses the money by about 10-20 spots. Storms away from the table feeling a mixture of self-loathing, rage, and confusion.
   
5. Equity Kid - Constantly talks strategy at the table after every hand, usually to himself, as no one else is really eager to talk to him. Drops words like "equity" and "range" so everyone at the table will know how smart he is. Provides an unsolicited live blog of his thought process to the whole table after every hand he plays. Critiques everyone's play. Shit talks everyone who busts out after they leave the table. The only thing more annoying than this wannabe is the fact that you'll be stuck next to him for most of the tournament, since he's more competent than most.
   
6. The Hangover - Partied way too hard the night before and is now a trainwreck of a human, hiding his baggy eyes under black shades and a ball cap while he struggles to stay awake at the table. Liable to drink a Monster, a Red Bull, or perhaps even both at once. Doesn't say a word, looks utterly miserable at the table, and may revert to "time bomb" mode so he can end his suffering and venture back into his hotel room cave to hibernate for the next 10 hours just in time to hit the clubs again.
   
7. The Baller - A legend in his own mind. Big headphones and shades. Sports jersey. Gold chains. Tattoos. Bobbing head to his music while casually flipping chips into the pot on 50% of the hands. Berates other players. Angle shoots whenever possible. Tilts Gramps at least once in the tournament by bluffing him out of a medium pot and showing rags while laughing. Blows up before the money bubble when some tight player traps him with a monster.
   
8. The Silent Killer - No headphones or shades. Never speaks at the table. Looks like he just emerged from a 5 year sentence in an Eastern European gulag. Plays tight and aggressive. Slightly terrifying. Probably has multiple bodies in his closet at home. Shoves the river in a sick spot with air to win a big hand. You're afraid to play a pot with him, not only because he's the best player at the table, but also because he knows 27 different ways to kill you with his bare hands.
   
9. The Divorcee - Middle-aged female who plays tight and doesn't bluff much. She was probably quite attractive in her younger days, but since she's 40+, nobody goes out of their way to hit on her like they do with young women. Doesn't quite grasp the concept of the button or whose turn it is to act despite playing poker 2-3 times per week. Most common phrase is: "Is it my turn? I check." Goes out of the tournament shortly before the money bubble when she gets brutally coolered by a maniac.
   
10. Mr. Invisible - An even less courageous, unlucky variant of Young Man Coffee. Doesn't play a single hand all tournament. Folds down to 2 BBs. Gets his last chips in on the BB with A6o and can't get there vs. AK.
    
11. The Donk - Usually a middle-aged guy who looks like a NASCAR fan, but can also be an elderly retiree with a bad hair piece or combover. Typically overweight and/or lacking in basic hygiene. Limp/calls 40% of hands. Puts in 40% of his stack chasing a flush draw on the turn. Shoves the nine-high rag flop with AA for 50 BBs into a 10BB pot. Shoves the nine-high rag flop with 72o for 50 BBs into a 10BB pot. If there are re-buys or re-entries, his entries alone will account for approximately 35% of the prize pool.
    
12. The Golden Donk - Plays horribly and always gets there. 4-bet ships 88 over an 8 BB 3-bet from the tightest player at the table for 12 BBs and spikes the 8 vs. AA/KK/QQ to win. Calls off a 40BB shove with K9s and flops the flush. Flops quads and gets paid off. Somehow has the biggest stack in the tournament despite being one of the worst players. Believes poker is a skill game and that he is the best player in the tournament. Wins the tournament.
    

Which are you?

Previous Post: https://www.reddit.com/pokecomments/bg7xox/inside_boston_underground_poker_part_4_bubbles_in/
So there I was, walking to the Wynn craps table with about $38k in cash in my pocket. I was up $30k for the day in poker, but as always, I had to push my luck.
There's a table off to the side with only one player at it, while the rest of the tables are pretty packed. I prefer a relatively empty table, so I head over there. The guy at the table has weirdly colored chips in front of him, and I realize he's some mega-whale with over a million in chips in his rail. I walk up to the table and he stays sitting, staring into his rail of chips. The table is $100 minimum which is why no one else was there, and I buy in for $10k.
The guy is just starting a new roll, so I put $600 each 6 and 8 and $250 on the 5 and 9, and he instantly 7s out. I'm down $1700 already in about 3 minutes, shit.
I throw $100 on the line, throw a 6 on the come out and put $600 on the 8, $250 each 5 and 9 again. The other guy started the roll with $12k each 6 and 8, $10k each 5 and 9 and $5k each 4 and 10, plus $1000 each on the hardways. I end up going on an insane roll. I'm throwing hard 6s and 8s like crazy, the guy has pressed up to $5k each on the hard ways and $30k each 6 and 8, and I just keep rolling them. I'm pressing my bets as well, and I'm up like $20k plus I have my bets up to $1000 each 5 and 9 and $3000 each 6 and 8, and I'm still going. At one point I bounce one of the dice off the table, and the other guy turns his bets off, and I roll back to back hard 6s, so he missed out on $160,000 from those rolls, it was pretty sick.
I think in total I made something like $35k off of my roll, and the other guy made over a million. The sickest part was that he barely even looked up from his chips, and he never said a word to me or tipped the dealers at all. He went to the bathroom at one point and I made a comment to the dealers, and they said he was still down overall on the day... What a sicko.
I played for a bit longer and ended up with $90k in my pocket, a profit of over $52k in a couple of hours of craps. I went into the Wynn with $8k in the morning and was leaving with $90k about 12 hours later. It was absolutely insane. I walked outside to wait for my car at the valet, and I had stuffed all 9 of the $10k "straps" into the pockets of my jeans. My jeans were busting with all of the cash, and these old people who were waiting at the valet noticed it and were staring so hard, it was hilarious.
Between my cash, bank accounts and investments, I had about $350k to my name at that moment, less than 3 years after moving to Boston with a roll of around $1500. As you can imagine, I felt absolutely on top of the world. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head. Should I go buy a Porsche in cash? Should I listen to my mom and go to school in Santa Barbara, and use my money on a down payment on a house there?
What was certain was the first thing I should have done was taken a bunch of that cash to the bank and gotten it out of my degenerate hands. Instead I drove to the Bellagio, got a room, got some room service, and went to bed. I woke up in the morning and had lost the $90k at the craps table before lunch.
Now you might be thinking that this was the start of my spiral down, that I went and cashed out my investments, got it all in cash, and blew it all at the Bellagio craps tables, but that would have been too simple. Instead I went back to grinding $10/20nl like nothing had happened. I had lost 2 buyins, oh well.
I took a few more shots at juicy $25/50nl games that summer, and like the lucky asshole I was, I never had a losing session in the 5 I played of that game. The other 4 were all at Bellagio, and usually only ran because a couple of specific businessmen wanted to play. They were bad, the games were great, I was still on top of the world in terms of poker.
One session in particular stood out. I sat down with $10k and was on a roll again, running it up to over $20k within a couple of hours. I had maybe $24k in front of me and was the big stack at the table, it was early and there hadn't been too many rebuys yet, and in walks Viffer (David Peat). Viffer was apparently down a few buyins in Bobby's Room and only had enough for our game, so he sat in with $50k. Being the biggest stack at the table besides him, as well as a 21 year old dressed like a complete douche, Viffer instantly focused on me. He was sitting all the way across the table from me (I was in seat 3, he was in seat 8), but as he sat down he called across the table to me, "hey kid, ever lost a $50,000 pot before?". "Not yet, but I look forward to it!", I retorted. Not my greatest comeback ever, but oh well.
I continue working up a stack without playing any big pots with him, and I'm at close to $30k and Viffer is still around $50k when a big pot happens. Since it was a $25/50nl game with $100 dead on the button, a typical raise was $300-350. In this hand, UTG raised to $350, Viffer called from the CO or HJ, the button called, the SB called, and I woke up with KK in the BB. There's over $1500 in the pot already, so I make it $1500 total and everyone calls. There's over $7500 in the pot preflop. The flop comes KTx rainbow, and I'm trying to figure out how long I should wait before checking, and if I should ham it up, when instead the SB open jams for around $8000. I have nearly $20k behind, and I wasn't sure what to do. UTG had about $12k, Viffer had me covered, and the button had under $10k, so raising vs flatting only really mattered significantly vs Viffer. I decided he didn't have much that could have hit this flop strongly, I wasn't getting paid unless he had KT or obviously TT or bottom set, and I didn't want to let him have pot odds with QJ, so I just jammed. UTG snap folded and Viffer stared me down for a minute before folding, and the button folded as well. We didn't flip our cards up, and the turn came an A and Viffer cursed to himself. He admitted later to having AT. River came a blank and the SB flipped up QJo to ship the pot with his straight. Bye bye $24k pot.
I shake it off, I still have around $20k in front of me, and I run it up a bit once again, sitting with around $25k when I get into a big pot once again. This time I raise to $300 with J9s from the CO and one of the donkey businessmen that the games run because of reraised from the blinds up to $900. I called the $600 more, he had around $13k in his stack to start. The flop comes QJ9 and I'm loving life again. He could have QQ, but JJ is unlikely since I have one, and I had only seen him 3 bet once in around 4 hours. Great chance he had an overpair. He instantly bet out $1500 into the $2000 or so pot, and I reraised to $4000, he went all in pretty quickly, and after a little bit of thought I made the call and he proudly flipped up KK. He had a decent number of outs with his gutshot, another K or a Q giving him the pot, but instead the board ran out 5, 5 to give him higher 2 pair in a different way. Bye bye $26k pot.
Those were 2 of the biggest pots I had ever played where it actually went to showdown and I hadn't gone all in with 100% to win. I had around 62% equity with the J9 and 74% with the KK, so it was a less than 10% chance for me to lose both. I ended up leaving the table up $7k, which was awesome after having lost my only 2 all ins for the night, but I was feeling negative, and of course went to the craps table. I lost my $7k profit and went home even for the day.
Another of the biggest pots I ever played was actually at $10/20nl at the Wynn vs another pro who liked to try to make huge bluffs sometimes and had a habit of overthinking stuff in my opinion. I was sitting with over $15k from $8k in buyins, and was having a pretty great session overall, and the other pro had around $10k. I don't remember the action nearly as well in this hand as the others, but I had KTss in a 3bet multiway pot to the flop, and it came KT7 with 2 hearts. Someone bet, the other pro raised, I 3bet, the original better flatted, the other pro 4bet for like 40% of his stack, I shoved, the original raiser folded after tanking, and the pro went into the tank hard. Now this was a guy whose game I respected. He was facing a bet of another $5500 to win a pot of about $23000. When he went into the tank, I figured he had a non-nut flush draw and was trying to figure out if I had some pair and higher flush draw combos or nut flush draws in my range where he'd be way behind. He tanked for nearly 5 minutes and eventually called, the board ran out A, 5 and he said "you've probably got me". I turned over my KT and he goes "oh holy shit I figured you had a set!" and turn over A5hh. I'm not sure why he tanked so long getting over 3:1 with a nut flush draw, even if he put me on only sets, he still had the odds to call, and I'm playing QJhh and 98hh the same way, hands he is ahead of. I didn't mind losing 2 pair vs flush draw as much as I minded that he had me convinced I was good with his tank, and then even more when he said "you've probably got me". I had to leave the game because I was close to tilt after that one.
The WSOP ended and the games dried up a bit. There were still $10/20nl games going at Bellagio usually, but with more grinders and fewer donks per table. Throughout the post- WSOP summer, many of my friends came out to party, and I spent a lot of time with Ashley, growing closer with her. At the end of the summer I decided not to stay in Vegas full time, moving to Berkeley, California, near my hometown and where several of my friends went to university. I played some of the juicy $5/10nl and $10/20nl games in the Bay Area with a medium amount of success, and partied a bunch with friends in frats at Cal. I made lots of trips out to Vegas, usually just for degenerate gambling and not a ton of poker. I had taken some losses in the market, but was still sitting with around $300k between cash, accounts and investments. When Bank of America dipped in November, I bought some for under $12. I still had Jetblue stock which wasn't doing great, and a handful of other stocks which were all struggling in the bear market, but I was convinced it would turn around.
My host at the Bellagio was always inviting me to special events, and 2 stood out. A $1 million freeroll heads up blackjack tournament was the first. It was 128 players, so nearly $10k in value. If you won your first 3 rounds, you were in the money and guaranteed $50k. After dominating my first 2 opponents who knew very little about blackjack tournament strategy, I was feeling confident. Blackjack tournament strategy is very different than normal blackjack strategy since your objective is to beat your opponent, not the dealer, and there are weird rules like blackjack paying 2 to 1. There are a set number of hands you play, and whomever has the most money after those hands wins. My first opponent went broke, so I automatically won that. My 2nd opponent just bet small every time, and didn't compensate when I took a lead, so on the final hand he didn't even give himself a chance to win with his bet.
My third opponent was semi competent, he at least knew basic blackjack strategy, but his betting was wrong and he still played as if he was trying to win chips from the dealer, not merely outplay me. I managed to make it so that on the 25th and final hand of our game, if both me and my opponent won the hand, I won, if both me and my opponent lost the hand, I won. Outside of making it impossible for them to win at all, which is very hard with correct strategy, this is about all you can ask of in a blackjack tournament. Me and my opponent both received face cards first, a great sign for me. For my 2nd card I received another face card, great news, until my opponent was dealt an A and got paid 2 to 1. My only chance was to split my face cards and try my luck to still end up on top, but it didn't work out and my opponent was the winner.
A few months later I was invited to a free $1 million poker tournament. This was it, my ultimate chance. It was 100 invited players only and based on pit and slot play, not anything to do with poker. It was going to be me vs a bunch of degens without any poker skill! The time for the big tournament came, and there was a twist. There were actually 110 players, 10 of whom were MGM executives and had cash bounties on their heads between $1000-$10k depending on their level at the company. They couldn't cash the tournament, they were just there to have fun and add a wrinkle to the game.
I easily navigated the field to start, although someone else at my table got the $2k bounty for knocking out our MGM employee. As the tournament progressed, it became clear the structure wasn't great, especially with so many inexperienced players taking a long time to make decisions. We were down to about 14 players including 2 executives left. Once only 10 real players were left, all of the executives remaining would be removed and their bounties would be put into the regular prize pool. Top 10 got paid, so there were essentially 12 left plus 2 fake players. I don't remember the action too well for this hand either, but I believe I was about 30 bbs deep to start the hand and raised with AJ from the button and got called by both blinds. The big blind was a $5000 bounty and she only had about 5bbs left after the call. The flop came KJ4 and they both checked, and I bet the 5bbs that the bounty had left. They both called. Turn came a T and after the other guy checked, and I thought I had him beat, so I went all in for the remaining 20 or so bbs. The SB tanked and was talking about how he really wanted the bounty. He ended up calling, he had about 1bb behind, and we all showed our hands. The SB had T9 with no flush draw, and the bounty had QJ, so I was 81% to scoop the hand, and only 11% to bust. River T and I'm done. The worst part was that the guy who stacked me with T9, having called with just a gutshot on the flop, managed to lose all of his chips on the bubble and go out in 11th place. He got his $5k cash bounty though...
The stock market continued to crash, and I went harder and harder in on the stocks I thought would bounce back, still investing on margin. Eventually I lost it all in February/March of 2009 when Bank of America stock dropped to $3. I had bought in more at $7, then even more at $5, and when the margin call came in I lost nearly $200k just on that one stock. My average buy price was a mere $6 since I had bought in huge at $5. If I had been able to pay the margin call and hang on, by August of 2009 my 50k+ shares would have netted me a profit of over half a million dollars. Instead I was completely broke. My losses in the market for 2008 and 2009 were nearly $400,000, and I later found out my casino pit game losses were nearly $200,000. If I had been patient, diversified, not on margin, and kept out of the pit, I would have been a 22 year old millionaire. Instead I was busto.
I continued on in poker for several years after that, but unfortunately my persona of trying to seem like a rich kid wasting daddy's money had left me without many poker friends, and without many people who respected my game enough to stake me. I ended up turning to online SNGs and being moderate successful, but still lazy and not putting in the hours I should have. Ashley and I tried to make it work, but she wanted me to move out to Vegas for good, and I was afraid being in Vegas would end in disaster for me as I'd continue to waste a huge amount of money on gambling, money I no longer had. My high school sweetheart came back into my life at that point as well, and I pushed Ashley aside for nostalgia, ignoring the reasons the high school gf and I had broken up several times in the past. In the end, I wanted to be more serious than she did, and I haven't spoken to the high school ex in 10 years. Ashley moved on quickly as she always did, and already had a serious boyfriend by the time I came around and realized I wanted to be with her. She ended up becoming a stripper in Vegas, and the last time I saw her she was a bit of a mess. She moved out of Las Vegas these days and I think she's doing better, but we don't keep in close touch.
By Black Friday I had joined a good staking group and was successful at online SNGs, making a nice hourly, coaching other players, and generally doing well at poker, although in my personal life I was a mess after losing both girls I loved in close succession. After Black Friday I made several stupid mistakes, alienating my backers and many in the poker community. I paid everyone back in the end, but I knew I needed to get out of poker. I went back to college, met my wife and we've been together for nearly 7 years now. I now work as a financial adviser.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed my crazy life journey! Some other crazy stuff happened along the way that I might throw together at some point, but those are more Vegas party stories than much to do with poker.

Quite new to the live poker scene so I'd love it if you could help me with my thought processes with certain hands and our strategy overall! 👍
I have some examples:

• Hand 1: LJ opens to 5x, we're in the CO with 44 (4d4c) - we call

Online I play 6max but I'd probably only call 66+ vs a smaller open size and expecting to play HU or 3way max. Here we are always vs a larger open size but there's a lower chance of a squeeze and better implied odds in stacking someone. So I think I would call every pair and potentially open limp the smaller ones (calling a smallish raise if enough players are in the pot).

• Hand 2: 4 limps and we're in the SB with AKs (AsKs) - we make it 9x. Some folds and 3 players call to see a flop of Q76s (Qc7s6d). We check fold vs a 55% pot bet.

First off, the iso size is quite large but I think I prefer a larger size when isoing at all because of the strength of our range and the fact that villains will call with worse most of the time. On the flop, I'm thinking I have about 0 fold equity vs your typical station on this board and so I just give up. Is playing fit or fold like this the right play at 1/2?

• Hand 3: We open JTs (JcTc) at 4x from UTG+2. 3 way to the flop with us vs an IP player and an OOP player in the SB. Flop comes 983dd (9d8d3h). SB leads for 1/2 pot, we call, and then fold to a large raise from behind.

I believe the open is quite standard and so is calling the donk? We have a lot of outs to potentially improve and could also be ahead of certain flush draws. But vs a raise I think we are folding as they're representing our hand or better. What about if SB had checked to us, would we have cbet this board? Do we run semi-bluffs like this at 1/2?

• Hand 4: We open A9o (Ah9s) in the CO at 4x and then make a standard fold on the flop

How should we be playing a hand like AT or weaker when we flop an ace? At least with pocker pairs and suited connectors, you know where you are in the hand whereas with AT and below you're mostly barelling with a single pair and hoping someone doesn't have a better kicker. Should we barrell vs stations until they raise?

• Hand 5: We call a limp with 97s (9s7s) in the BTN vs 2 limps before us. SB calls and BB checks so we go 5 way to the flop. We face a 50% bet on 873s (8h7c3s) and we fold.

Second pair with an overcard and backdoor straight and backdoor flush draw cards does seem like very nice call. But don't we want to play tighter and pick our spots better than this?

Villain is effective stack at ~$550ish, I think.
Not sure about hero's table image, as I had been doing a little bit of everything up to that point. Table had seen big bluffs, big value hands, traps, 3-bet bluffs, etc.
Villain is a mid 30s white guy. Tough to get a read on him. He seemed to be a somewhat thinking player, but also made some fishy moves (donk-betting, 3-betting extremely tight, etc.). Also seemed to be afraid of monsters and was a touch on the nitty side. e.g. Played a set really conservatively earlier in the night, because he was concerned that his opponent had a straight. He ended up being right, but still.
OTTH
Preflop
Villain button straddles to $6. SB calls, and hero calls in BB with J9hh. Folds to V on BU who raises to $22. SB folds, hero calls.
As a player who is new to the live poker scene, I haven't really figured out a strategy for straddles pots. J9s is definitely a hand I wanna take to the streets this deep, but I'm not sure I wanna raise with so many players left to act preflop. I really hate limping and stick to a raise/fold strategy when I open non-straddled pots, but again, not sure what to do here. Thoughts?
Flop ($45) - Qd 7h 3h
Hero checks dark to V, who bets $25. Hero calls.
Obviously we can consider raising our draw as a bluff, but I'd rather do that with our Qxhh combos or stronger combo draws.
Turn ($90) - Ah
Hero checks dark again, V bets $30. Obviously, this bet is way too small for my liking, and I wanna get value from any 2 paiset/Khx combos. So I opt for a raise to $100. Villain tnaks for ~30 seconds and calls.
In hindsight, I think we can size up here, given that we're so deep and OOP. I'd much prefer a raise to something like $125 or so. Thoughts?
River ($290) - 2x
Hero bets $175. Villains calls.
Wasn't sure about bet sizing here. Obviously, I wanna bet big with a monster, but I really have like zero bluffs here lmao. I'm not sure V knows that, though. Furthermore, I think the majority of his range is 2 paisets, and given that he was a little nitty, I don't wanna bet too large and let him get away from those hands. Anyway, feel free to roast my line. Thanks in advance.

We've all heard a mantra along the lines of: "If you're playing live, just play ABC poker, bet your good hands for value, and you will make money".
I think this has become so ingrained into the consciousness of most live players that they don't even recognize the significant amount of EV they're dumping by not bluffing in certain spots. I realize that this is often told to beginners to avoid spew, but even solid live regs(take Neeme for example) seem to have stuck with this line of thinking. Here are situations I've found where weak live players are overfolding despite conventional wisdom that they are complete stations.
1) Overbets
Boy, do rec players and weaker regulars not know how to respond to overbets. I've seen some absurd folds to turn overbets I've adopted the strategy from PIO and this should be totally expected. They are rarely facing overbets in these spots and if they are, it's usually against somebody who simply has it. The looming factor of a turn overbet lowering the SPR enough for a river shove is another factor I've noticed that scares weak regs from reacting well to overbets. River overbets are a great way to attack capped ranges and will also help build a table image of aggression. This is a strategy that takes time and thought to develop but once you begin getting overbet ranges down, you will start making a lot more money.
2) River raises
This is, again, another spot where most live players will just have it. Now, the river raises I'm talking about are for the most part meant to attack weak ranges that opponents are not protecting, such as block bet sizings without any good hands mixed in that almost never want to face a large raise. Another benefit of these raises is that your story often doesn't even matter. I've had plenty of river raises go through where I can look at my own line and see that it is probably full of shit(didn't bet two streets on a certain texture, preflop ranges don't align, etc) but it doesn't matter if there's weakness and a non-thinking opponent. I don't like going crazy with these spots of course, but instead of using my great removal hands, I will take hands with more marginal removal and throw them into the bluff raise range and will not usually be punished for it. Learn to recognize these spots.
3) Raising flop leads
This one is probably my favorite. Donk leads can be the nuts, but they're often marginal hands that a rec does not want to call a bet with but will bet himself. Raise these. You will never have to go three because if they call flop/turn, they almost always have it. Use hands with backdoor equity and just hammer these. They usually do not find enough calls in their range and you print.

Recently moved to an area where all the casinos have a pretty broken 1/2 structure (50bb max BI and flat rake per hand). I’ve found a few local home games that I’ll be playing in soon, and I need some advice regarding how to generate action without compromising my play too much. Basically I feel like my priority over the first few sessions should be to get invited back without donking off too much.
The closest I’ve come to playing an invite only game is watching LATB, where it seems like you only get invited if you’re a whale (Armenian Mike, Eric Hicks(?)), someone with a little clout (Doug, Art), or a pro who can create a hyper aggressive/entertaining reputation for themselves (Garret, Dan Zack(?)). It seems to me that all invite only games would run like this on a diff scale. Ultimately, my question is how do I avoid telling everyone I’m an online nit/reg without compromising my play too much?
My impression is that it actually takes a lot of a skill to do this. By analogy, if an amateur boxer tried to spar light with someone who was going all out, they might get knocked out, but a professional could create openings for their opponent without ever being at risk. I’m still pretty new to poker, and I don’t think my understanding of the game is strong enough to create a dynamic strategy to affect my image without ending up -EV. Essentially, I’m looking for a few moves that I can add that won’t fundamentally change my strat, but will change my perceived play. Should I encourage straddles? Bomb pots? Side bets? Do I need to open up in specific spots? Or are my initial assumptions totally wrong and I should be thinking about this differently?
Edit: I say nit, but my VPIP/PFR is pretty standard (24/18)

Here's the recent Polker Hands video on this hand.
Here's the action.
Game is 300/600/1200 (straddle) (BTN) Doug ($293k): 7d7c (SB) Koon ($232k): 3h3c Ike(BB) Cates(straddle)
Preflop: Doug opens to 3k (2.5x) Koon calls 2.7k Ike and Cates fold
Flop ($8400): 9d 7h 3s
Koon checks Doug bets $2600 Koon calls
Turn ($13600): 9c
Koon checks Doug bets $4000 Koon raises to $15000 Doug calls $11000
River ($43600): Kh Koon bets $54000 Doug raises to $212000 Koon folds
One of the most difficult decisions in poker is the decision to fastplay or slowplay your hand. In this hand there are a lot of decision points that could go either way by both players. I found none of these decisions obvious, and want to hear how poker players of all levels and backgrounds think about this spot.
So, here's a format of questions I think that are interesting in the hand.

• What do you think of Koon's SB flatting range with two good regs in the BB and straddle? Should he have one here? Should he ever trap AA / KK here? Are Ike and Jungle not squeezing enough? Is Doug's open closer to a typical CO or BTN open range?
  
• What do we think of Doug's betsize on this flop this deep? (27spr) Should he ever go larger?
  
• The decision to fastplay or slowplay bottom set here is the first major decision point. Which option do you prefer and why? If you like mixing both options, at what frequency do you raise? What if Doug went for a larger c-bet size of around 80%? What assumptions about Doug would merit a call vs a raise? If Koon did check raise, should Doug ever go for the 3bet?
  
• The turn pairs top pair. On the turn, Doug should have slightly more 9x than Koon, and so there isn't much merit in developing on donking strategy. But for practice, what 9x should koon have?
  
• Doug decides to go for a small bet on the turn, and supports his decision in his analysis. Do you agree with this? How many betsizes would you have on the turn? What hands in Koon's range would you target with each bet size? What bet size do you think is best with 77? How elastic should Koon's check raises be against Doug's turn bet size?
  
• Against a small betsize on the turn, is there any merit towards calling 33 again? As Doug said, if Koon calls turn here with plans to C/R river, a lot of his C/R's will be thin (like on an A for example). Under what assumptions about Doug do you think would calling be better than raising with 33 here? How would that change if there were one or two flush draws on the turn? Against the C/R, is there any merit to 3-bet turn with 77?
  
• On the Kh, Koon decides to go for a slightly over pot sized bet and Doug jams. What do you think about Koon's decision to fold? Is it an easy fold, difficult and close fold, a call? Do you think Doug gave anything away with the way he acted on the river?
  

I'll post my thoughts and analysis later. I encourage players of all levels to try and take the time to answer these questions in detail. It's great for your game, and interesting to read.

I'm going to present you with two spots, both of which are super face-palmy, obvious calls in retrospect, but when in the moment, I find myself unable to make the right call. The context is within a home game, nobody really knows how to play poker well, but I'm learning. I imagine the limp/call everything strategy and only 3-bet with AA and KK is similar to casino 1/2, which is the long term goal. If I can beat this game, I should be able to do well in live 1/2. OTTH
Hand 1: Playing against a visibly tilted, recently reloaded, limp/call ATC player. Playing 25/50, cash, 5k effective (which translates into .05/.10), I'm in the BB with 6c2d, the button and small blind limp, and I tap. Flop is 6h6s3s. Sb check, I check, BTN says "Fuck it, I'm all in" and shoves 5k. Sb tanks for a minute (later says he folded a 3) and I eventually settle on a fold as well. My reasoning is, at this point, my opponent was shoving all value hands. He was drunk and tilted, and was going AIPF for 5k, trying to win his lost money back? I guess? He did this with AA and QQ that he showed when everyone folded, and said the classic "didn't want to get outdrawn". I ranged him on about 80% of hands, minus the top 5% which he would have probably shoved pre. I'm not beating ANY of his 6's, which he has all of, and why the fuck would he do this with two random over cards? I figure he has a 6, saw trips and said "Time to get my money back!" and shoved. He later revealed that he had AQo.
Hand 2: Playing against a new player, has limp/called every hand played for the past 2 hours, not a single preflop raise. Very passive after the flop. We are in a STT and I have him slightly covered, by like 3 bb. Blinds are 75/150, I'm in the CO with 8c7c and I open raise to 400 from a 5600 stack. BTN (who was the villain from last hand) calls, sb folds and the bb (who is the new villain) calls. No surprises there. Flop is 2d8h8s and the BB donk lead shoves AI for 4600. Using pretty much the same reasoning as last hand, I think that I'm beating only 4 combos of 8x, and am losing to 6. I could see him calling 8(A-9), but actually folding 83 and 84, so really I'm only beating two possible 8x hands. The real possibility that he had 22 is also there. I'm trying to construct bluffing hands, but can think of none. Why make this move with an overpair, with two people behind? You'll only get called by an 8. In addition to having another player behind me, I fold, thinking there might be a better chance later on when I can be more sure of the strength of my hand, instead of possibly getting it in drawing nearly dead to a 3 outer. Villain later tells me he had TT, and was looking to improve to a full house.
I know both these hands are bad. Like, give up, stop playing poker, give your bankroll to someone who can use it properly bad. How do I fix my thought process to plug this leak, leaving monumental amounts of chips on the table? FOLDING PRE IS DEFINITELY AN OPTION ON THE SECOND HAND, but the first hand I just sort of fell into trips in the bb in a limped pot. Am I just destined to become an OMC, calling a raise with JJ and folding to a 5 bb shove on a T96r board? What's the right way to think about these hands so I can make these calls? How the hell do I play against people with nearly 100% limp/calling ranges and not fear they accidentally drilled dry boards?

So...I just had one of the worst weeks of my life and for whatever reason I felt compelled to write about it.
I had been grinding 5/10 on Bovada and Live 2/5 games for the 3 years I have been in college. Built up a combined total of around 90k for a bankroll which I withdraw from when bills and rent are due. Prior to this week, I had never really experienced any serious tilt and would just leave if I felt I wouldn't be able to control it.
Anyway, a few of my poker buddies at my university decided to take a trip down to a nearby casino about two hours away. On the trip down, we decide to have a friendly side bet for $300 on who had the most winnings after the weekend. Winner takes $300 from everyone else.
We get to the shoe and the tables were already packed. I get put on the 2/5 waiting list and go to the cage and buy $1000 in chips. I walk around for awhile and notice this one super deep $2/$5 tables with multiple people having somewhere around 7-10k stacks. Of course, after half an hour, I am seated at this table. The shoe has this annoying rule where the max buy in is only $500, so I sit down with that.
First hand, I get dealt A8dd on the button and call some big stacks pf raise of $35. 3 people in the pot including me. Flop comes A89, checks to me, I put in $80, guy calls, big stack raises to some ridiculous amount like $900, putting me all in. I have a sick feeling in my stomach, and tank for awhile, and then the guy starts talking about some random BS and seems really nervous for whatever reason. I ended up calling, other guy folds, and he shows 10J. Needless to say he hits.
Oh well, add on for the other $500. Next hand I get dealt 88s. Something happens pre, i don't remember, but I get it in again on the turn, except it's flopped set of JJs over my set of 88s. I've seen this type of stuff happen before all the time, but something snapped in me and I could feel my blood pressure rising. It's only been max of like 10 minutes and 2 hands and I had lost 1k with relative monster hands.
I tell the dealer 1k more, pocket 500, and place the other 500 on the table. I stay quiet for a few orbits, squeeze 100 or so from the blinds, but nothing eventful. I had noticed however, this one guy who was relentlessly 3 betting while in the blinds with a crazy frequency of like 90% probably.
I wake up with aces, 1 limp to me, raise to $25 in the CO, guy 3b me to $105. I think for like 30 seconds or something and he definitely had to know I had caught on to his 3betting mania, so i make a smallish 4bet to $240. He snap shoves, and I call for like 400 more. He tables AK. Good, time to double up. Cards come TJQ4T...not even a chance.
I tell the dealer to give me 1.5k more in chips, so I had 2k total. I sit around a few orbits just steaming internally and get shit hands for 20 minutes and I just rage quit and got up. There was a relatively passive looking 5/10 table and sat down there.
I run up 1k to around 3.5k or so and eventually make a dumbass decision to call off a $600 dollar bet on the river with a pair of 3s on a 34462 board. I proceed to lose a few smaller pots and finally bluff all in on the river on a missed straight flush draw which got snapped with bottom set. Now, I had only brought like 4k and change. I should've just cooled off for an hour or so and regained composure, but needless to say, I donked off the rest of it in 5/10 just chasing stupid draws and not playing well at all.
I had lost 4k in 5/10 online before, and even though it sucks, I was used to it. However, this time around, I was just so tilted. My 4k was blown in 2 hours and half of it was just because I was being an idiot.
I decide to go back to the hotel and play online. My online roll started at 64k or so. Fire up 2 5/10 tables and get dealt some random bullshit hands that I decided to play. However, on one table, I had flopped trips with J8o and on the other, I had flopped pair and flush draw. I had invested about 600 by the turn on the trips table and like 400 on the other by the turn. Then shitty internet dies. I scramble to try and figure it out, but it's off for 10 minutes or so, and now I am tilted out of my mind. When I reconnect, I immediately shove my remaining stack on one table with KJss and lose. I close out of the 5/10 and start playing 10/20, which I had only taken a few shots at. After a few hours of mad tilt fest, My bovada roll was at 31k.
I slam my laptop shut and decide to go back to the casino to see how my buddies were doing. They were all doing pretty well, one was break even, and the other two were up like 2k. I tell them what happened, and say sorry, but I kind of want to leave. They understood and they cashed out and left. So I also owed Martin 300 bucks too.
Come Tuesday, there's this super juicy 5/5 home game I play on campus with random bar owners around campustown and a few rich students. They are all just horrible, and it's by far my favorite game in town. There can easily be around 15-20k on the table by the end of the night. Most nights, I leave up 3-4k and barely have to work for it at all.
I usually bring 4-5k with me, since the game can be sort of swingy. However, this day, this one guy who was a consistent loser seemed to be catching every card in the deck. And it almost always happened when it was his deal. In around 5-6k hours, he had actually cleaned up the entire game, and I had busted the 4k or so I took with me. As he pockets the 15 or so grand, I noticed he had an J of spades poking out of his pocket. I ask him what's that and he hurredly says he needs to leave and runs out the door. I thought it was super weird, and ask them to count the deck. Sure enough, the J of spades was missing. We call him repeatedly to no avail. Now i'm super pissed off because my favorite game had been cheated. I had no doubt this situation would be handled and the scumbag would get what he deserved, but I am just really pissed I just wasted my time and money on nothing. I leave, go home, drink a lot with my roommate, and decide, you know what? fuck poker. I wanted to take some shots at blackjack, even though I barely know the correct strategies. Me and my roommate, being drunk idiots, eventually lose the rest of my roll in blackjack by the morning.
I feel like an idiot now, and lost 70k in a matter of a few days after years of hard work and grinding. I dont' even know what to do...I still have money, but that 60k online took so long to build up. I redeposited 5k, but now, when i'm playing, it's like, I'm never going to get it back up to 60k anytime soon, and don't even feel like playing anymore.
Fuck. Feel sorry for me. lol.
TLDR: Tilted for no reason at casino, proceeded to lose 70k in 4 days. gg

Hey all! Extensive post.
Long time lurker, occasional commenter, first time poster.
I'm looking for reading/viewing materials dealing with variance, identifying leaks, and micro-stakes SnG exploitative play.
Variance: I've been running 40% ROI over 2200 games this year playing hyper turbos (<3) , $1 SnGs and $3.3-5.5 MTTS. I've had losing sessions, days, and weeks, but have never felt run bad like this: I'm currently down 45 SnG BIs over the past 8 sessions. Last month was fantastic SnG wise; I've also ran well in tourneys over the past month (binking 6 out of 55 played). Laughing at silly beats or trying to learn from inappropriate shoves/calls has kept my mental game happy, but this has taken a downturn. Instead of hoping for a 2 outer cuz it'd be funny, I'm expecting it because "it's just my luck."
Exploitative/Leaks: I've put a ton of time into study but it feels like most of the concepts I'm learning from freesources (all Bencb content, Upswing articles, all Tonka/Lex content, certain pdf-able books *cough*) are focused around beating thinking players.
I'm not playing against thinking players.
This should be a positive, but I'm struggling to adapt to an anon-player pool filled with either people who pot KK on an A72r board or min-bet the nuts 3 streets half the time, donk-min air the other time. I've realized playing GTO-ish strategies against this player type is far from exploitatively optimal. Playing ranges is silly, check-raising flops with a gustshot + backdoor flush draws doesn't work if they call 3 streets with pocket 3s. A "solution" is to raise/bet/call strict value but in 15-30BB games that seems less than ideal (hyper ranges just require tweaking to fit avg shove/calls).
Books I've read more than once in some sort of order (IOU upon graduation/big bink Seidman, Miller, Nelson/Streib):
Easy Game
The Course
Kill Everyone
Harrington on... (all NL)
Mathematics of Poker <3
Mental Game of Poker
Playing the Player
Elements of Poker
Essential Poker Math
Kill Phil
Raisers Edge
Play Poker Like the Pros
Current reading list is... a TBD Applications (very excited!), so any thinking book recommendations beyond title topics would be read...
Where do I go from here?
I don't have any friends who have poker as a hobby, so no matter your skill level, I'd love to chat, shadow, or breakdown hands together.
If you want to/know you can coach someone in my spot, I'd be interested in learning more (PM).
TL;DR: Kinda wondering where to go study-wise on a downswing. Looking for resources on title, would love to chat/shadow other players, and am amicable to relevant coaching.

I mainly play online micro stakes and only occasionally play live so I am aware that there's a difference in play styles but this paragraph is just blowing my mind away.

You can also attack multiway pots if it is clear no one is interested. If two people limp, you limp from late position, and the blinds come along, if the flop comes K-8-3 and everyone checks to you, feel free to take a stab with a bet of about 50% of the size of the pot with any two cards. When everyone checks to you, especially on the flop and turn when you are last to act, do not be afraid to bet.
Little, Jonathan. Strategies for Beating Small Stakes Poker Cash Games (pp. 19-20). Jonathan Little. Kindle Edition.

1. limp late position?
2. donk bet, not cbet, flop into 4 other loose passive players
3. with ATC
4. cbet turn too?

I mean, that just sounds like torching money. Thoughts?

Hero is UTG with $150 behind, Villain is on the button with $350 behind. Hero has super tight image, no reads on Villain yet.
Hero is dealt Ks 10h. Hero limps, limps until Villain who makes it $12 to go, Blinds fold, Hero calls, folds to villain.
Flop: 6h 9c 3h.
Hero checks, Villain checks.
Turn As,
Hero checks, Villain bets $20, Hero thinks for a minute and raises to $40. Villain looks confused, tanks for a minute and calls.
River 4h.
Hero??
Will post results after I get some feedback.
Edit: You guys need to cool it with the hostility. This is a poker subreddit to discuss play and strategy. You think I played it wrong? Great, explain what to do next time (thats why I made this thread.) Calling me an idiot, liar, donk etc isn't gonna help. Neither is downvoting me. I'm not a professional poker player, I'm a young guy who plays the game for fun and is trying to play the game on a deeper level than just ABC.

It's been a minute. Your old friend SwanpJew had to lay low for a while, until the people he owed LockPoker chips to were bumped off by people they owed PokerSpot chips to. A few phone calls to Witness Protection later, and I find myself in Rose City. That's Portland, Oregon for my geographically-challenged readers. Let me tell you something about the coffee in Stumptown: it ain't no Dunkin Donuts. I went to order my usual 84-ouncer with extra cream and the guy behind the counter didn't even add the sprinkling of Adderall XR I've become accustomed to and highly tolerant of.
Things are different here, and it didn't take long for me to get homesick. I knew I had to find a game, fast, and get back into the swing of things. Lucky for me, there's a Sharrita's here. In the short bus trip from my $900-a-night room at the Portland Super 8, I saw a tall skinny white guy dancing in his bus seat like an urban mime, a tall skinny white girl with dreadlocks carrying a hula hoop, and at least a half dozen tweakers. I'm from Nowlins, so I'm used to that sort of thing. I thought it might be some sort of Mardi Gras celebration, but then I realized Mardi Gras was a month ago. And it got worse from there.
1/2 NL at Sharrita's PDX Strip Club, Microbrewery, and Poetry Cafe
Hero (SB): $300 Uncomfortably Close Fat Guy (BB): $175 Old Asian Nit (UTG): $34 Lanky Guy with Patchy Beard (MP): $105 Overweight Woman with Badly-Dyed Purple Hair and a Hyphenated Last Name (HJ): $42 Fat Guy with Absurdly Large Beard (CO): $87 [Villain] Some Guy from a Band in Portland -- You've Never Heard of Them (BU): $700
Background: Hero just sat down, and apparently this room has different rules about how much you can buy in with. At Sharrita's NOLA, you're welcome to buy in with anywhere from 10 BB all the way up to 100,000 BB, but due to Oregon's biblical stance on gambling, things at Sharrita's PDX are...different. Just so we have PDX logic straight: poker rooms bad, highest number of strip clubs per capita good.
I pulled out my Triple Bajunky Platinum Card and made sure my name was visible, and even tried explaining to the young lady in the cage who I was by showing her the wallet-size photos of my babies -- the 54 poker strategy books I wrote (now sadly all out of print). But she assumed "SwanpJew's Power Poker System" is a local band or a local beat poet or both and was consequently unimpressed. (Damn kids with your Apple PowerBooks and your DSL internet speeds.) So, even if it doesn't make any sense, there's a reason for my ridiculously small stack for a 1/2 NL table.
Preflop
UTG folds. MP, HJ, CO, and BU have the most insipid conversation ever about a brand of cruelty-free, fair-trade, organic salve for styling armpit hair. HJ recommends it heartily. Hero vomits in his mouth a little and surreptitiously dabs the corner of his mouth with a napkin. After what feels like an eternity, MP, HJ, and CO fold.
BU takes his sweet time pouring a bit more of his IPA, which is 105% hops. BU says, "The math adds up. They add more hops after it's in the bottle." BU swirls his beer around in a mason jar like it's a snifter and takes in the bouquet. Finally, BU calls.
Hero has Ah4s and raises to $10.
BB folds. BB says, "Swanp, when am I ever going to be a legit part of a hand history?"
BU calls.
Pot to the flop: $21
Preflop Thoughts: I considered calling the clock, but then I remembered this is Portland and that beer probably cost the villain about 20BB plus tip.
Flop 8s2c5h
Hero: Bets $15.
BU: Raises to $42.
MP, HJ, CO, and BU all titter amongst themselves over the "obscure" reference to one of the three books they've ever read in their lives (one of the other two invariably being Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins, which girls in the PNW read to seem "deep" and guys in the PNW read to be "deep" in those girls.)
Hero: Raises to $666 and flashes the heavy metal horns.
Dealer says, "Ah, sorry, sir. You don't have enough on the table to make that bet."
Hero: Calls.
Dealer says, "Oooh. This is awkward. Unfortunately, since you said 'raise,' I'm afraid it's binding."
Hero: Sulks and raises to $84.
BU: Calls.
Pot to the turn: $189
Flop Thoughts: What, these people have never heard of Iron Maiden? Look, when someone raises you on the flop and tweaks the number of chips they put in the pot to match some novelty number, they're going to be weak 64% of the time. Don't believe me? The next hundred times you're at the table and someone raises a flop bet with some oddball number, take a note when they show up with the second best hand. You'll have 64 tallies. Bet on it. It's such a reliable tell, I can't believe I'm seeing it at a Sharrita's, even if it's one that has patchouli-scented soap in the bathroom.
I called (well, I WANTED to call) because I think I can get another street or two of value out of him by slowing down. In this spot, Ace-high is a monster here like it always is, and there's no rush. I wish the Ace was a spade, but sometimes life is hard.
Turn 2c
Hero: Checks. BU: Checks.
Pot to the river: $189
Turn Thoughts: Those of you with exclusive SwanpJew Power Poker Dot Net access passes may remember the secret lesson about checking down to spring the trap on sixth street. But since the SwanpJew domain was seized on what I like to call Black Wednesday, I'll give you a quick primer here. Y'see, when you're sure you're ahead and your opponent is such a buffoon that he-- wait a sec.
Hero says, "There's two deuces of clubs on the board.
Dealer says, "Oooh. This is awkward. Floor!"
Floor: Stalks over like he hates his life, glances at the board like poker cards nauseate him, and grabs the top card of the stub and lays it over the second 2c, then slinks off without saying a word. Really, it's some of the best customer service I've ever seen in Portland.
Turn 3d
Hero: Checks. BU: Checks.
Pot to the river: $189
River Qd
Hero: Bets $2. BU: Raises to $90. Hero: Raises all-in. BU: Calls.
Hero says, "I got the tranny hand."
Vinyl record: Scratches stopped.
River Thoughts: I am initially annoyed to see a dumb cliche in one of my strategy articles, but that's until I realized the sound was genuine. Because they actually have and USE vinyl here.
MP, HJ, CO, and BU cast baleful stares at Hero.
Hero says, "Y'know...because it looks like Aces, but instead, one of the Aces has a dick."
Aftermath
Someone describes the language as "problematic." I can't say who, because they all have the same condescending tone of voice and it's hard to tell them apart in this dark room.
I say, "What's wrong with calling it the 'tranny hand'?" But they clasp their hands over their ears and hiss like vampires exposed to a joke about garlic.
"It's just a funny name for a poker hand. Y'know, like 'Big Slick' for Ace-King or 'Big Chick' for Ace-Queen?"
"That's offensive to body-positive women," says Persephone Anderson-Gables-Lee, who isn't so much body-positive as she is exercise-negative.
"Uh. Okay. What about 'Gay Waiter' for Queen-Trey? That's not really all that offensive, is it?"
"We're called servers," someone says.
"No, you're called English majors."
No one has a pithy rejoinder for that; it turns out they all actually have English degrees.
"Okay, I got it. What's offensive about dog balls for pocket eights? It's hilarious!"
"I identify as a trans-species trans-person. I wish I had dog balls."
"Not in that hand, you don't."
My new tablemates look at me askance while I stack my chips and wait for the next hand.
"Look, I don't want to sift through my language and scruntinize every word I ever use to see if it might offend someone. A) That's no way to live, and B) the world has much, much bigger problems than how a flippin' word affects your insidey-parts. I just want to play poker and have a good time and forget how shitty everything else is, but I can't well do that if internet poker is banned, the nearest legit casinos are a thousand miles away in Vegas, and innocent poker clubs like this one are forced to act like speakeasies during Prohibition. Meanwhile, you can't pass a convenience store that doesn't have a gigantic Oregon State Lottery sign in its window.
I HATE PORTLAND.
Why would anyone play here? The people are rude, the sky is constantly doing an impression of the last few post-pee shakes in front of a urinal, everything costs 20% more because someone wrote "organic" on the label, the women are somehow both uglier and more picky at the same time, and everyone here is in love with the place. Nothing says, 'I've never lived anywhere else with a population greater than 25,000' like treating Portland as if it's some bourgeois metropolis instead of the equivalent of a trap house with a gloryhole in the kitchen. I suppose this is where you live if you want to feel urban but can't afford L.A. and wouldn't be able to stomach New York or D.C. without constantly fearing the 'dangerous minorities' you read about in a book once. But West Coast is best Coast, amirite? Now I get you donks staring at me like I'm Mel Gibson on a bender. And how much rake am I paying on top of all that?"
"Portland poker rooms don't charge rake."
Tune in next week for some more poker strategy, arugula- and kale-infused cocktail recipes, and mustache grooming tips with your old pal SwanpJewPDX_420_ACAB.
Good night, /poker!

One of my favorite parts of playing poker is the ability to analyze data. I use poker copilot to track and the amount of data available is just staggering and wonderful. I could get lost for days just looking at the numbers.
Having said that, what metrics do you guys find most useful to have on your HUD?
Right now, my top row is: Preflop Raise%, VPIP, Called Preflop %, 3bet %, and aggression frequency (post flop)
The second Row is: Check raise flop %, C-bet flop %, fold to c-bet on flop %, and donk bet %
Third row, for late tourney play especially is: Blind steal attempt %, fold to blind steal %, resteal %.
It's a lot of info and I could pare it down a bit. I don't think donk bet % is very important. Otherwise I think all of the information is pretty vital. Is there anything I'm missing?
Also, where do you guys go to talk poker strategy, etc? I love reddit, but this sub doesn't seem to get a ton of traffic. I used to post on pocketfives.com all the time and read 2+2, but having just browsed both briefly, most of the content seems to be about live play/cash and poker legality issues.
I'm primarily an online MTT player, anything from $5r to $162 buy-ins.

Couple of big (for me) hands at 1/3 where I'm specifically wanting to know whether my play raising and re-raising some flops makes sense or was at least an acceptable line.
Excuse me if some formatting is subpar.
Hand 1: No real information as this point as it is early on in the session, except to say that that villain is a young guy, seems like a thinking player.
Hero's stack is 400, we're playing about 300 effective for this hand.
Hero is in SB with 44. Villain is UTG+1 and opens to 15(possibly 20), folds around to me. Now I suppose we can debate all day whether I should make this call, but it was early, and I'll take a chance to set mine all day. BB comes along.
Flop comes out 4-7-10 rainbow. Now I don't have a good explanation for why I did this other than that I like to bet my strong hands, and I still don't understand when it might be a good time to donk, but I donk'ed for 20. BB takes a minute to fold, and I mention this because in this time I can see villain look like he intends to raise. This leads me to believe that he has a big pocket pair, I think there's a pretty good chance that if I quickly re-raise it may look suspicious and I may be able to get called off by QQ, KK, or AA.
So BB folds, and villain re-raises to 70 pretty quickly. I immediately shove all in for his remaining ~200. He goes into the tank and decides on a call.
My main question here is whether my all-in makes sense or if a call seems more appropriate because of how dry this board is. As mentioned I'd also love some discussion as to my donk.
Hand 2: Table has really loosened up, people are limping in all over the place and refusing to folds to raises and we're seeing many multi-way pots. I also think it's important to say at this point that I have the highest VPIP at the table and I can tell certain players are getting tired of me opening so often while they are trying to see cheap flops.
SB is a young guy who seems pretty inexperienced based on his action so far. No information on EP. MP is a young thinking player who has talked about strategy and ranges at the table, and while he seems like a douche, seems to have a decent handle on slightly advanced poker strategy. The CO likes to limp and call and has showed down with a variety of weak holdings.
Hero is in the BB with KK with a stack of about 650. We're 8 handed, and EP, MP, and the CO limp, and SB opens to 6.
I want to bet big here because I don't want to take KK 5-handed. I make it 30 to go, and all 4 players call. Flop comes 6-9-J rainbow. SB opens to 100, I think for a bit and make it 250 to go(enough to put SB all-in). EP tanks, gripes about how he has 78, shows his cards to MP and folds. MP bitches says my line is fishy and eventually says I could have QQ and folds. The CO folds. SB tanks for 5 minutes and calls.
Now, I think my open to 30 was slightly above the table standard, but not too much, and I think I just get a bit unlucky to have 4 callers. My main question for this hands comes from raise. I feel almost certain I need to raise here, to try and isolate SB and I'm fairly certain I'm almost always in front. I can't see AA calling pre-flop, the 2 pair possibility seem slightly unlikely, and if somebody flopped 9s or Js then it is what it is. I'd like to here some discussion as to my sizing or any other commentary on my line for that matter. In retrospect I think maybe it was a bit too small considering there were 3 players still to act, but I'm not certain.
I appreciate any thoughts.

I have seen a decent amount of poker literature that focused on exploiting $2NL-$25NL microstakes players (often fun player) who are too loose passive. I have not seen as much literature on playing against mediocre nitty regulars at stakes $10NL-$50NL. So I am going to make an attempt:
So first off, I am thinking about nitty winning / breakeven regulars at $10NL-$50NL. Things they like:
1) Playing a tight selection of hands preflop
2) Value betting, esp vs fun players
3) Spamming /poker with budget coaching offers.
4) Folding
They tend to dislike:
1) Floating, calling large raises, calling 3-bets, calling jams, bluff catching.
2) Playing shorthanded and/or against regulars
3) Marginal situations and flips.
4) Thinking deeply or making creative plays (esp. bluffs).
Note: this absolutely does not apply to every regular at say $25NL, but it definitely applies to a chunk of them.
So how can Hero exploit these players?
1) Respect their raises. Nits will tend to bluff raise rarely, so we need a strong hand to call down. We can make tight folds especially facing a turn / river raise. Similarly, preflop 3bets and 4-bets tend to be rather nutted so we can fold here lots. This is pretty simple.
2) Steal and resteal often. Vs a LP open we can 3b bluff profitably, and a postflop cb on most boards will be incredibly profitable. When the Blinds are nitty we can steal very wide in late position because they will not fight back.
This is fairly straightforward. There are some other strategies I am experimenting with that are a bit creative that I would love some feedback on:
1) Attacking a range of 1 pair hands on dangerous boards. eg. $25NL, 200B effective. Hero opens to $0.50 in MP, Fold, fold fold BB nit 3-bets to $1.75, Hero calls. Flop 7d5c4c. Villain c-bets $2.50 into $3.75. At this point we have about $45 effective stacks. Now although villain's range is strong, it is also somewhat capped. Villain can obviously have QQ+, but villain almost never has a set, 2p, a straight or a pair+ draw (eg. 76). Villain also has very few fdraw combos apart form AcKc. With quite a lot of hands we could just raise and essentially say: 'Do you want to get in 200BB with AA on a wet board?' Because if we raise flop, bomb turn and shove river it is super super hard to call it off with AA when you are a nit. We can turn AA into a bluff catcher, and nits don't like calling it off for 200BB with a bluff catcher.
This is aided by the fact that fun players and the nit him/herself are almost never raising flop, bombing turn and jamming river with anything that AA beats. I think the fact that villain isn't raising the flop as a bluff much will kind of make it hard for them to imagine what hero is raising the flop with. If the nit doesn't even think about turning 66 into a flop bluff/raise then they are probably not going to expect us to do that.
What range we want to be bluffing with here is a complicated question, but with clubs, 98s, 6x, 88, 33, AcXx etc. I think raising is worth at least considering. I also think that following through with 3 barrels is important, villain is basically never folding AA to a single raise but might well to a river jam.
This is kind of kamikaze and dependent on villain, our image, and the stack depth. But if villain doesn't call it off with AA vs 3 barrels in this spot then they are folding almost everything and are so incredibly exploitable.
2) Donk shoving or check/shoving turn or river as a bluff on scare cards when we think villain has something like a single pair or weak 2p. Again, fun players and nits don't do this with air so they probably don't expect us to. So many fun players just jam or check/jam for value when they hit a draw that I think we can get away with bluffing a lot in similar spots. We have to be able to represent something though, so we need a straight draw or flush draw we could potentially have to come in. Even a bad reg is going to look us up on a complete brick.
Be interested to hear what you guys think about all this, undoubtedly you have some ideas I didn't cover / thoughts on what I do wrong. Shout out to cwlrs cos he said tag him in anything in depth and he was talking about how you shouldn't pay off nut peddling regs the other day.