Challenge: 1/1/20 - 12/31/20
This has been a crazy year for everyone. I fell behind on my reviews, I've attempted to catch up in the last two months, but here we are. I've now delayed my 2021 challenge so I just need to dump the rest and do better this year. Sorry for the half ass work. So here is my last 32 films on the year that I have the least to say about.
Last Christmas (2019)- Watched 07/17/20 - RotTom critics - 47% RotTom users - 81%
This film is a cute rom-com. The critics are too hard on it. If you want a nice entertaining rom-com, this is it, nothing too special about this one. -Score - 3/5
The Lovebirds (2020)- Watched 7/19/2020 - RotTom critics - 66% RotTom users - 51%
This film is more Com than Rom. Once again, if you are looking for this kind of movie, you'll be satisfied, if not, just skip it. -Score - 3/5
Clueless (1995)- Watched 07/28/20 - RotTom critics - 81% RotTom users - 76%
This film is a pretty unique High School movie. I quite liked it, it was humorous in a special way. Thi movie, like Lion King is based on Shakespear's Hamlet, is based on Jane Austen's Emma. It's a brilliantly intelligent film, wrapped in a California high school comedy. I recommend for all. -Score - 4.5/5
Onward (2020)- Watched 8/8/2020 - RotTom critics - 88% RotTom users - 95%
This film is not up to snuff with he rest of Pixar's original films. The themes were not as groundbreaking and the story was not as captivating. I was disappointed. Of the 23 Pixar films, this one would rank bottom 5 for me. That being said, Pixar is great, and their worst movies are still decent movies. -Score - 2.5/5
Casino (1995)- Watched 7/26/20 - RotTom critics - 80% RotTom users - 93%
Have you ever been sitting there thinking, I want to watch Goodfella's but slightly worse? This is the film for you. It's good, but not great. I think I even like Irishman more. If you like Scorsese, or crime movies, I reccomend. -Score - 4/5
The Lighthouse (2019)- Watched 9/7/2020 - RotTom critics - 90% RotTom users - 72%
This film was advertised to me as a 2020 Oscar snub. I disagree. I like experimental film but I thought this one was a little too boring. I can see where some like this one, but not me. Great acting performances by Dafoe and Robert Patterson. People need to stop sleeping on Patterson, I'm excited to see him as Batman. -Score - 2/5
The Impossible (2012)- Watched 11/12/20 - RotTom critics - 92% RotTom users - 84%
This film is the most boring disaster movie ever? I'm shocked at how high the scores are on this film. I do not recommend this one to anyone, and if you do watch it, drink a few cups of coffee first. -Score - 1.5/5
I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020)- Watched 9/16/2020 - RotTom critics - 81% RotTom users - 47%
This film is the most convoluted film I've seen this year. I could see underneath all the insane things that were happening there was a good movie. The critics are cowards, they clearly saw an artistic movie and gave it high ranks, the users are correct here. I understand the film now, that I've looked in the source material, but you shouldn't have to have a manual to understand your film. Kaufman, is a great screenwriter, I'm not sure if he is a good director. -Score - 1/5
Guns Akimbo (2019)- Watched 9/23/20 RotTom critics - 52% RotTom users - 40%
This film is a wild ride. You are thrown into a crazy, world with a crazy plot. Everything Daniel Radcliffe does these days are always weird and original. This movie is just ok, it receives a higher score based on originality alone. -Score - 2.5/5
Being John Malkovich (1999)- Watched 10/4/20 - RotTom critics - 93% RotTom users - 87%
This film is an example of good Kaufman. Reigned in by Spike Jones, a great film is churned out. This movie is so oddly funny, I highly recommend if you want to see a weird little comedy that is amazingly orginal. -Score - 4.5/5
The Devil All The Time (2020)- Watched 10/8/2020 - RotTom critics - 65% RotTom users - 80%
In a year where there are not many new films, this movie coming out on Netflix can shine. Most years this movie would probably fall to the wayside. But with not too many films to compete with, this films stands out as a good, not great, thriller. I recommend, if you are looking for a serious entertaining movie. -Score - 4/5
Stranger Than Fiction (2006)- Watched 10/15/20 - RotTom critics - 73% RotTom users - 85%
This film is a forgotten gem of Will Ferrell. A mix of drama and comedy Ferrell really shows off his acting chops. I love old Ferrell's comedies but it's nice to see he can play a serious role as well. This film is a crowd-pleaser, I recommend to all. -Score - 4/5
Good Time (2017)- Watched 10/16/2020 - RotTom critics - 92% RotTom users - 81%
This film was directed by the Safdie brothers. I loved Uncut Gems so I wanted to see some of their earlier work. You can see a similar style in this film, I'm excited to see what they do in the future. Also Robert Patterson is great in this film as well. He is about to become a huge star.-Score - 3.5/5
Dolemite is My Name (2019)- Watched 10/24/20 - RotTom critics - 97% RotTom users - 91%
This film is FANTASTIC. I regret not giving it it's own post. I talked about Oscar snubs, this should have been competing for Best Picture last year. This movie is dramatic and hilarious and everything in between. Eddie Murphy is tremendous, his best performance ever possibly. Everyone needs to watch this film, I recommend to all. This may miss my top 5, but it's #6 then. -Score - 5/5
The Princess Bride (1987)- Watched 10/25/2020 - RotTom critics - 97% RotTom users - 94%
This film is a favorite among a certain age group. I am too young to be a part of the childhood hype. But watching this film, you can tell why it is so special to some people. It's just a fun movie. You can't help but smile while watching. -Score - 4/5
Due Date (2010)- Watched 10/26/20 - RotTom critics - 39% RotTom users - 52%
This film trash. Straight garbage. After The Hangover made Galifianakis a star and it is clear they just greenlit anything he was in. RDJ also couldn't save this unfunny comedy. I do not recommend this one to anyone. -Score - 0.5/5
The Rock (1996)- Watched 10/31/2020 - RotTom critics - 66% RotTom users - 85%
This film is know as Michael Bay's best film. That's not saying much, he is the one who made the Bad Boys movies and the 100 Transformers movies. This one is entertaining because it is so wild. It is so over-the-top, it's hard not to smile at it. IF you like dumb action movies, check this one out, if you like substance, skip this one. -Score - 3.5/5
Interview with a Vampire (1994)- Watched 11/1/20 RotTom critics - 63% RotTom users - 86%
This film is only two hours but it feels like 10. Cruise and Pitt give two good performance in this one but it drags. I also do not know who this movie is for, I'm not sure who I would recommend this one for. So I won't, skip this one. -Score - 2.5/5
Bourne Identity (2002)- Watched 11/8/2020 - RotTom critics - 83% RotTom users - 93%
I have never seen the Bourne tribology before and I saw it available on one of the streaming services so why not dive in? I was going to watch all three, until I watched Identity. Then I didn't want to watch the rest. This was just another action film to me, it didn't feel special at all. And maybe on 2002 the crazy swinging camera during fight scenes were cool, but not that I've seen John Wick. I demand better fight scenes. Tell me what I'm missing about this film/trilogy? -Score - 2.5/5
Time Freak (2018)- Watched 11/13/20 - RotTom critics - N/A RotTom users - 54%
This film is a very small unwatched movie. No critics reviewed it and less than 200 users rated this one. It's a cute sci-fi rom-com. I thought it was entertaining enough, this may the exact middle of my total rankings. Average. -Score - 3/5
Brave (2012)- Watched 11/14/2020 - RotTom critics - 78% RotTom users - 75%
So I've seen about 19 of the 23 Pixar films. Shocking enough, I skipped all the bad ones through the years. (Cars Trilogy) Brave is fine, nothing too remarkable or original. This may not be bottom 5 Pixar, but it is bottom 6. -Score - 2.5/5
Holidate (2020)- Watched 11/14/20 - RotTom critics - 45% RotTom users - 42%
This film is a silly premise Rom-Com. Kind of like Hall Pass where the writers make up a ridiculous situation and pretend it's a normal thing. This time a a pair of people pretend to date just for the holidays so their families don't pass judgement? This one is funny enough to beat the dumb premise, so if you are a rom-com fan, check it out. -Score - 3/5
Year of Spectacular Men (2017)- Watched 11/15/2020 - RotTom critics - 65% RotTom users - 69%
This film is not another Rom-Com, more like a Dramedy. Theses are the only movies my wife agrees to watch with me, so I am somewhat and expert of them. It was entertaining enough to not dislike it. This one will never be your favorite movie, but it won't be your least favorite. -Score - 3/5
Hail, Ceasar! (2016)- Watched 11/15/20 RotTom critics - 85% RotTom users - 44%
This film is a Coen Brother's film. I am trying to dip my toe into the Coen Brothers. I always like their films but I never love them. This one is pretty funny, but I do feel like I missed the overall point. Let me know if I should check out a different Coen brother's film besides Arizona and Lebowski.. -Score - 4/5
The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)- Watched 11/18/20 - RotTom critics - 90% RotTom users - 90%
This film was really great. I believe this will be in consideration for a 2021 Oscar for Best picture. I think in a normal year it could compete with the big hitters. Definitely check it out, it's on Netflix, this just missed out on my top 5 films of the year. -Score - 5/5
Killing them Softly (2012)- Watched 11/21/2020 - RotTom critics - 73% RotTom users - 44%
This film is a Brad Pitt thriller. It's ok, not great. Check it out if you like crime or mafia movies. If not just pass on this one. -Score - 3/5
Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006)- Watched 11/25/2020 - RotTom critics - 52% RotTom users - 67%
This film is on the path of being a cult classic I feel. I think if you love Jack Black and his band Tenacious D, you would love this movie. I'm not a huge fan but I respect this movie. It's a unique funny musical. It's worth a watch if you are a comedy fan, and you may become a cult fan. -Score - 3.5/5
Happiest Season (2020)- Watched 11/26/20 - RotTom critics - 84% RotTom users - 88%
A new holiday themed Rom-Com. This is a Hulu original and it's just fine. More com than Rom, if you like that kind of movie this one will hit the spot. -Score - 2.5/5
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)- Watched 11/28/2020 - RotTom critics - 63% RotTom users - 78%
This film is straight trash. Ferrell is turning into Sandler, and it's more and more clear every year. A SNL star who made some great comedies early in his film career, and slowly proceeds to churn out worse and worse movies. I'm disgusted by the critics that haven't realized this. Like Sandler, Ferrell is capable of great acting, but takes the easy way out. Do not watch or support this garbage. It is competing with Sandler's Hubie Halloween for the worst film of 2020. -Score - 0.5/5
The Holiday (2008)- Watched 12/18/20 RotTom critics - 50% RotTom users - 80%
This film is a holiday themed Rom-Com. More Rom than Com. It's cute, not great. You can do way worse when it comes to holiday movie, so if you want an inoffensive movie, this is it. -Score - 2.5/5
Noelle (2019)- Watched 12/19/2020 - RotTom critics - 53% RotTom users - 58%
This film is not great. This and Lady and the Tramp live action was Disney + first original movies. Instead of starting off with a bang, it's clear Disney had a terrible film that they didn't to distribute to theaters. I love Kendrick and Hader but they could not save this film. Skip this one forever.-Score - 1/5
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)- Watched 12/18/20 RotTom critics - 5% RotTom users - 38%
This film should be considered the worst Christmas movie ever made. It is so boring, and dumb, and so low-stake. I knew it was going to be bad before I started, but I was shocked on how bad it was. Please never watch this one. And let me know if there is a worst Christmas movie, I'll watch it next year haha.-Score - 0.5/5
A few of these films cracked my top 10, but not my top 5. A bunch of these are in my bottom 10, and one broke the bottom 5. I have one film left to review in 2020! Then I can start my 2021 challenge.
HeyImAJoe's 2020 Top and Bottom
- Sunset Boulevard...........98. The Wedding Daze
- 1917.................................99. Don't Mess With Zohan
- The Gentlemen...............100. Christmas with Kranks
- Uncut Gems....................101. Love The Coopers
- Jaws..................................102. The Ridiculous 6
Last time we were here we saw Jon Moxley make his fourth AEW World Championship successful defence. He had overcome Death Triangle, and May even have planted the seeds for their eventual dissolving. Him and Pac went to war for 30+ minutes at All Out, and that came after over a month of fighting. They had wrestled in tag matches twice already in the build up, with Moxley getting pinned for the first time all year twice in that time.
He had successful defences against Kenny Omega, Brian Cage and Darby Allin up until this point. Omega and Moxley had their first authorised match in the main event of Double or Nothing for the gold. Moxley won after a hellacious war, but on that same night - new arriver to the company, Brian Cage, won the Casino Ladder Match in his debut to become #1 Contender.
They would fight in Wembley Arena, England at Fyter Fest, where Moxley won in a Machine’s Rules Match. Not before The Man Called Sting showed up. Mox and Sting made friends, and head into Fight for the Fallen facing against a man who found himself first on the rankings, Darby Allin.
Allin and Moxley faced in a No DQ match, and despite the weapons and blood - what hurt Jon most was he felt like he was fighting himself from 10 years ago. Out of respect he offered friendship and to team together. They did, where they faced Death Triangle. Pac and Moxley entered feud, where Brian Cage and new pal Ricky Starks entered the fray, along with The Rhodes Brothers. This led to a 10-men Tag Team Match on Dynamite, which marked Sting’s final ever match. That ended with Fénix pinning Jon Moxley, earning himself a title match. Mox then would defeat Pac, where we ended off. This leads us into...
Book Jon Moxley’s AEW World Championship Reign - Part 2: American Venom All Out is finished - Jon Moxley defeated Pac in the main event to retain his AEW World Championship. But that’s not the saga of Jon Moxley and Death Triangle over and done with yet. Fénix pinned Jon Moxley a couple weeks ago and is owed a match for Moxley’s title. The Dynamite after All Out, a banged up Jon Moxley comes out and says that him and Death Triangle’s war isn’t over yet. When Fénix walks out from the ramp on his own, Jon tells him to see him next week. FÉNIX HITS MOXLEY WITH A TOPE CON HILO THOUGH BEFORE HE LEAVES!! FÉNIX THROWS HIM OVER THE GUARDRAIL TO THE FLOOR!! He stands tall and walks off in victory, flapping his fingers up and down to the fans for their reaction to be louder.
By next week Moxley now has a hurt arm since he landed on the concrete with it. Him and Fénix have a meeting authorised by Kurt Angle! It’s the same set up as Jericho and OC’s debate authorised by Eric Bischoff, it has Kurt on the stage as his desk with Fénix and Jon at their own stands either side of him. Fénix has a translator with him. He compliments both men on their work before hand, and lets the challenger speak first. Having Fénix speak in his raw Spanish voice will make him seem the most emotional, rather than have his eyes be lost trying to think of how to say what he wants in English. The translator tells Kurt that Fénix says Moxley may have defeated the rest of Death Triangle, but he hasn’t beat him. As far the records go, Fénix is 1-0 against Jon. Angle and the translator could probably have a funny moment, since Kurt is just a funny guy.
Moxley rebounds with a retort, saying it’s hard to take Fénix seriously wearing his little superman mask and having his nerdy translator speak for him. He laughs at the translator and jokes he should face him instead. “Some real competition” Mox laughs. The translator mumbles what Moxley said to Fénix. He asks if he can jump Jon right now. The translator asks Angle, who tells him “well he already knows what’s coming”. Midway through that sentence though, FÉNIX RUNS ACROSS AND HITS MOXLEY WITH A FRONT DROPKICK!! JON GOES FLYING OFF THE STAGE!! Pac and Pentagon come out then and laugh with Fénix. They all hold up a Cero Miedo taunt, with Angle in the background doing one upside-down.
Fénix and Moxley’s clash is set up for the AEW Dynamite Anniversary Show: Chris Jericho’s 30th Anniversary of Wrestling. This means they have 3 weeks until their clash. Moxley would come out again, looking for a non-title match with Fénix this instant. Fénix would come out, slowly walking towards Jon. Jon would retreat as soon as Fénix steps through the ropes. He looks confused at why Mox left straight after calling him out. Mox then says “…now.” AND OUT COMES WILL HOBBS!! Fénix turns around into a SPINEBUSTER!! Jon then rolls back in and says “now we’re even. Next week I want you at your edgelord brother to take on me and my new pal Will.”
And that much happens, as The Lucha Bros take on Jon Moxley and Will Hobbs on the September 30th edition of Dynamite. Hobbs gets a lot of time to shine, showing off his athleticism. The highlight of the match being him doing an ASAI MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE!! The ending spot sees The Lucha Bros win after pinning Will Hobbs with a Fear FactoDiving Foot Stomp combo. This means Fénix is now 2-0 against Jon. The go home week sees Jon do one of his usual promos outside under of the hot Nevada sun in front of a graffiti covered wall. He says this will end the months of torment him and Death Triangle have put each other through.
AEW Dynamite Anniversary Show: Jon Moxley (c) vs. Fénix - AEW World Championship One year ago Dynamite made its inception, the launch of a brand new promotion’s first TV Show was happening live on TNT. On that episode in the main event we witnessed Jon Moxley interrupting the match to attack Kenny Omega, and hit him with a Paradigm Shift through a glass coffee table. The week following we witnessed Fénix make his Dynamite debut in the First Round of the AEW World Tag Team Championships tournament, where him and his brother Penta took on Marko Stunt and Jungle Boy of the Jurassic Express. One year later.
During Jon Moxley’s entrance, he bumps into a wild Hiroshi Tanahashi. Tanahashi is here to celebrate with Jericho for his 30th Anniversary of Wrestling. Tanahashi bows to him and Moxley pats him on the back, before continuing on his march. He hops the guardrail and as if the match could start any other way - FÉNIX WITH A TOPE CON HILO STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT!! The bell rings and the match has started with a bang. Fénix hits him with an elbow before throwing him to the ring post. He looks down at the AEW World Championship and holds it up to the crowd, proclaiming it to be his. HE THEN TURNS AROUND TOA KNEE TO THE GUT FROM MOX!! He throws him into the ring and now we begin.
Moxley hammers elbows to Fénix, but then when he rebounds off the ropes for a Lariat - FÉNIX WITH A HURRICANERANA OUT OF NOWHERE!! Fénix with an Overhead Chop to Jon! He then runs the ropes for a Head Scissors, but Moxley rolls through with it. He slides to the outside. Then Fénix runs up for a Baseball Slide - BUT MOX CATCHES HIM AND THROWS THE CHALLENGER INTO THE GUARDRAIL!! MOXLEY STARTS TO SHOULDER BARGE FÉNIX AGAINST THE STEEL!! Jon then takes his title back up from the floor and hands it to Justin Roberts. He says a few words to him, but from behind is FÉNIX RUNNING UP FROM BEHIND WITH A FRONT DROPKICK!! HE THROWS MOX BACK IN AND HITS THE LA GARRA DE FÉNIX!!! 1..............2.............KICK OUT BY MOX!!!
Just a few minutes have gone by and we’ve already seen all of this. This is the definition of balls to the walls wrestling. Fénix gets up and looks at Moxley, angry he didn’t put him down straight away. Fénix gets up to his feet and lifts Mox up with him. Jon with a quick elbow to the head and follows with a MONEY CLIP!! FÉNIX ESCAPES!! Fénix arm drags Mox to the corner and hits him with his TIGHTROPE KICK!! Jon falls and Fénix scales the ropes again. He’s crotched by Jon however! SUPLERPLEX FROM MOXLEY!!! 1.......2........KICK OUT BY FÉNIX!!! FÉNIX GETS UP AND HITS A SUPERKICK!! HE GOES FOR A HANDSPRING CUTTER! MOXLEY CATCHES AND GOES TO THROW HIM OUT THE RING!! FÉNIX LANDS ON THE ROPES, JUMPS ON THEM A FEW TIMES - SPRINGBOARD TORNILLO!!
Once they’re back up they stand on opposite corners as the crowd applaud their performance. FÉNIX THEN SPRINTS WITH A SPRINGBOARD KICK IN THE CORNER!! He goes for a Snapmare but Moxley picks him up into a MOXICITY!!! JON WITH A DIVING ELBOW DROP!! 1.............2.........FÉNIX GETS THE ROPES!! FÉNIX WITH A CORKSCREW ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! He slides out to the apron. HE DIVES FOR A SPRINGBOARD DRAGONRANA!!! MOXLEY CATCHES AND HITS THE MONEY CLIP!! 1.............2............KICK OUT!! MOXLEY GOES FOR A PARADIGM SHIFT!! FÉNIX ESCAPES AND HITS THE SPANISH FLY!! He throws Moxley into the ropes. FÉNIX THEN WITH A SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK FROM ONE SIDE OF THE RING TO THE OTHER!! Moxley is knocked out the ring. FÉNIX THEN WITH A SOMMERSAULT TOPE SUICIDA!!
They’re now both laying on the outside. Fénix overshot the mark and now is in some front row sitters laps. He goes to jump off the guardrail but Moxley catches him! He places him on the apron. Jon gets up with him and hits a kick to the head! JON THEN LIFTS FÉNIX UP FOR A GOTCH-STYLE PILEDRIVER - ON THE APRON!! MOXLEY ROLLS HIM IN, AND GOES FOR AN ELBOW DROP!! FÉNIX LIFTS HIM OFF THE THE TOP ROPES AND TRIES THE BLACK FIRE DRIVER!! HE SPINS MOX AROUND, WHO FLIES OUT OF IT!! DISCUS LARIAT! FOLLOWED BY THE MOTHER OF ALL PARADIGM SHIFTS!!!!! 1..............2...........3!!!! MOXLEY RETAINS AFTER A WAR WITH THE MAN OF A THOUSAND LIVES!!!
Jon Moxley defeats Fénix (14:56) After the match Moxley limps out the ring and back up the stage, his title slung over his shoulder. Meanwhile Fénix lays in the centre of the ring, gassed out of his mind from what just happened. His brother, Pentagon Jr. walks out to comfort his brother. A man in pain, and feeling grief. Pentagon lifts Fénix up, and looks past the mask to see who he knows more than anyone in the world. He offers a Cero Miedo, and Fénix lifts up his arm to do the same. Then when they throw their hands down into the taunt - PENTAGON GRABS FÉNIX AND ARM DRAGS HIM TO THE MAT!! He know kneels above, still holding the arm. He then slowly reclines it...AND SNAPS THE ARM OF HIS OWN BROTHER!! Pentagon looks at Fénix, the same blood as his, writhing in pain at the hands of him. He then grabs Fénix by the jaw and makes him look at him, barely conscious. “Cero...Miedo...”
Next week opens with a recap of the events that transpired last week. We see the high spots of Fénix and Jon Moxley’s war over the title, and then to Pentagon Jr’s attack of him. This then cuts to a promo package for that man, Pentagon Jr. To the backing of Marilyn Manson’s “The Nobodies”, we see the man who Pentagon truly is. He then explains why he did what he did. He explains he doesn’t feel empathy for what he did, he thinks he was perfectly justified. He explains how it benefits him. Later on in the show, Fénix and his translator come out. The translator explains that Fénix has seen the video himself. In the man of a thousand lives words, “those are the emotions of a psychopath. 30 years, and I don’t even know who you truly were.”
Pac comes out to Fénix and tells him: “Death Triangle is dead.” He then explains how he himself is furious at Pentagon, because he still considers Fénix his amigo. Moxley then comes out and says he thinks they both deserve rematches for the AEW World Championship, as they’re both still Number 1 and 2 on the rankings. But he then says that next week on the special episode of Dynamite: “SuperBrawl”, he will allow Pentagon to get what he wants. Because he saw the seeds being planted for this moment back when they faced. So next week if Pentagon can defeat Fénix, it will be a Four-way match between all of them at Full Gear. He then gets a text from Tony Khan confirming it. Pac then tells Fénix “you can trust me.” Fénix shakes his head though. He can no longer trust anyone. HE ITS PAC WITH A BLACK FIRE DRIVER!!
Next week is SuperBrawl and Fénix and Pentagon have pretty much the same match they had in real life, which at the time of writing was last weeks Dynamite. Pentagon wins by targeting Fénix’s arm throughout. Then on the go home show at the beginning of November, all four of them have a contract signing. They all sit at chairs in the four respective corners of the ring. They’re all wrapped in chains so no one attacks anyone. They will only be unchained when they go to sign the contract. Fénix is wearing a sling for his injured arm. Pentagon says nothing throughout despite being the centre of criticism. When he steps up he signs it and walks straight back, despite having security guards watching him like a hawk. The rest all sigh it, but the main part of it is everyone throwing barbs at each other from each corner of the ring. Pentagon is then demanded he speaks. He waits a moment, before saying “larga vida al rey.” Excalibur says that means “long live the king.” They’re on all escorted off ahead of the bout.
Full Gear 2020: Jon Moxley (c) vs. Fénix vs. Pac vs. Pentagon Jr. - AEW World Championship The final pay-per-view of the year is reaching its crescendo to close off the year. Every one of them have been main evented by Jon Moxley, everyone of them for the AEW World Championship. This is hyped as the first ever non one-on-one match in AEW main event history, featuring the four best the company have. Jon Moxley and Death Triangle’s war has gone on for 4 months at this point, since July. We’re now in November and it’s come to a close, with us coming full circle. Everyone of them back where they started - vying for the AEW World Championship. Fénix and Pentagon have never main evented a PPV before, with Pac being only in one. Moxley on the other hand has been involved in every single main event, excluding shows he wasn’t on (Fight for the Fallen and All Out 2019).
Moxley has been entering through the crowd since Dynamite Episode 4, when Pac blindsided him during an entrance. He couldn’t trust people after that, and started travelling his own path. Fénix enters out down through the crowds seats, being with the only people who’ve stuck by him. He climbs down the stairs, first out. The Bastard is now in a tweener role, garnering him a mixed reception. It’s Pentagon next, but he doesn’t come out. Instead Moxley is given the call it’s his turn. The fans all wonder why the champ isn’t out last. Then when Mox has arrived - Pentagon steps through the curtain, and it is nothing but boos. No ironic cheers, not even entrance music - his mere presence earning the ire of the fans.
Fénix starts off with a bang, HITTING PENTAGON WITH A SUPERKICK STRAIGHT AWAY!! HE HITS PENTAGON WITH THE BLACK FIRE DRIVER!!! Pentagon rolls out while Moxley looks out in shock. FÉNIX THEN JUMPS OVER MOXLEY WITH A SPRINGBOARD TORNILLO TO THE OUTSIDE!! That leaves it to Pac and Jon. These two faced off last at All Out in a hellacious bout, and here they are again. PAC jumps up with a Leg Lariat straight off the bat! MOX THEN REBOUNDS WITH A DISCUS LARIAT!! HE LIFTS HIM INTO A MOXICITY STRAIGHT AWAY!! HE LOCKS IN A BOW AND ARROW!! PAC ESCAPES INTO A BRUTALISER!! Mox breaks free, but is then hit by a German Suplex!! PAC THEN FLIES OUT TO THE LUCHA BROS WITH A BRITISH AIRWAYS!!!
Moxley rolls outside to join the hoard. He starts to stomp around all of them, but of course is overwhelmed by numbers. HE TURNS AROUND TO A RUNNING APRON KICK FROM PENTAGON!! Pentagon then drags him inside and licks his lips. This is a dream encounter and the fans cheer. They start booing though when Pentagon gets the first bit of offence with a chop. Moxley no sells it though and hits Pentagon with his own chop - Cheer. Pentagon chops - Boo, and so on. Eventually Pac and Fénix have had enough and both springboard into the ring, both hitting their respective rivals with STEREO SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODIES!! Now it’s these two. Pac tries to conform to Fénix but he’s having none of it. So Pac has to show him his real side.
SUPERKICK BY PAC, INTO A TIGER SUPLEX!! 1......2.....FÉNIX KICKS OUT AND ROLLS THROUGH INTO A LANZA TO THE BACK!! FÉNIX THEN HITS A 540 ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! He fires himself up for a Handspring. He does it, BUT PAC CATCHES HIM WITH A DROPKICK MID MOVE!! PAC THEN WITH A DRAGONRANA!! 1..........2......MOXLEY BREAKS IT UP!! Mox comes in and starts to unleash his brawling on two guys at once. Punch to Pac - punch to Fénix - back to Pac - then again to Fénix. He runs the ropes for a Rebound Lariat, BUT PENTAGON PULLS HIM OUT!! He holds it him in place for someone to dive at him. Fénix does so with a Cannonball Tope Suicida, but instead hits Pentagon! MOXLEY THEN SLIDES IN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS TO PAC MID RUN-UP!!
Moxley lifts Pac up for a PARADIGM SHIFT ATTEMPT!!! BUT PAC GETS OUT AND HITS A TORNADO DDT!! HE ROLLS THROUGH INTO A BRUTALISER!!! MOXLEY LIFTS HIM OUT WITH A DEATH VALLEY DRIVER - BUT PAC LANDS ON HIS FEET AND HITS A HANDSPRING BACKFLIP INTO THE TORNADO DDT!! HE LOCKS IN THE BRUTALISER!! Moxley can’t lift out of it now, and it looks like the champ will fade. THAT’S UNTIL PENTAGON JR. COMES IN WTH A SUPERKICK PARTY!! Superkicks to Pac and Mox, and then one to his brother on the apron. HE HITS HIM WITH A SLINGBLADE ON THE APRON!! Penta then rolls Fénix back inside. He goes for the Fear Factor that ended it last time, BUT FÉNIX GETS OUT AND HITS A SPRINGBOARD SPIN KICK INTO THE CORNER!!
Fénix goes for a Snapmare but Pentagon rolls through and lands a Japanese Arm Drag! HE CONNECTS A LUNGBLOWER!! He gives Fénix and a Cero Miedo as the fans boo, AND RUNS UP FOR A SOCCER KICK TO THE LEG!! Pentagon lifts Fénix up for a PENTAGON DRIVER!!!! 1............2..........A MISSILE DROPKICK BY PAC BREAKS IT UP!! PAC THEN WITH AN ENZIGURI!! HE HEADS TO THE TOP FOR A BLACK ARROW!!! MOXLEY CROTCHES HIM!! PENTAGON THEN LIFTS HIM OFF WITH A GORILLA PRESS INTO A DOUBLE KNEE GUTBUSTER!! HE TURNS AROUND INTO A CHAIR SHOT BY JON MOXLEY!! 1................2..........BROKEN UP BY PAC!!! FÉNIX THEN FLIES INTO EVERYONE WITH A CORKSCREW SOMMERSAULT SENTON!!
It’s now a quadruple down as every man is taken out. They’ve all practically destroyed themselves by this point. Fénix is first up and throws Moxley out the ring. That leaves it to just the original three...Death Triangle now at war. Pentagon gets up and is shouted out by both men. He steps forward, and falls to his knees. He asks for Fénix to hit him. Fénix takes the offer and lifts him up for a Superkick - BUT PENTAGON CATCHES IT AND SPINS HIM OUT OF IT!! MEXICAN DESTROYER!! HE THEN GRABS PAC INTO THE SACRIFICE!! HE’S GOING TO BREAK HIS ARM!! PAC ROLLS OUT OF IT AND HITS PENTAGON WITH A SWITCHBLADE KICK!! PAC THEN HITS HIM WITH A KNEEDROP SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!! 1.............2...........ITS BROKEN UP BY A LA GARRA DEL FÉNIX!!!!!
It’s Fénix and Pac now, and Pac is pleading for Fénix to not hurt him. Fénix shakes his head at Pac’s pleading, until he points at Pentagon Jr. Them and the crowd then get excited, and they get to work on the double team. FÉNIX HITS A BLACK FIRE DRIVER, WHICH PAC FOLLOWS UP WITH A BLACK ARROW!! They can’t decide who goes for the pin though. THIS THEN TURNS INTO A KICK FIGHT!! They trade Superkicks until JON MOXLEY SLIDES IN AND JOINS THE PARTY!! HE HITS A DOUBLE PARADIGM SHIFT!! HE THEN DIVES WITH A FLYING ELBOW DROP TO PAC!!! 1................2................3!!!!! MOXLEY RETAINS THE TITLE, HAVING GONE THROUGH WAR WITH THREE OTHER MEN. He stands up shakily, looking down at all the wreckage. He then pushes a guy who offers him some ice away as he walks through the crowd, AEW’s hero.
Jon Moxley defeats Fénix, Pac and Pentagon Jr. (35:13) We’re out of Full Gear and now on the road to the biggest month of AEW’s calendar year - January. Not only do we start off with Homecoming on the first Dynamite of the month, we then get the Jericho Cruise and Bash at the Beach - all on the road to Revolution. Then for certain members of the roster they travel to New Japan Pro Wrestling - a place Jon Moxley spent a lot of time in last year. But this year, not so much. Moxley defended his IWGP United States Championship at Sakura Genesis against Will Ospreay - which he lost. Ospreay winning his first piece of heavyweight gold in NJPW. Afterwards Jon would say he will spend more time in America this year as he is AEW World Champion, and thus won’t compete in the G1 Climax.
Meanwhile Will is on fire. He enters the G1 Climax as part of Block B and fares well for himself. He has tough competition with the likes of Kota Ibushi, Tetsuya Naito, Minoru Suzuki, Kenta and Shingo Takagi - but he holds his own. He then goes on to defend his IWGP United States Championship at Wrestle Dynasty against fellow CHAOS stablemate in Tomohiro Ishii. He defeats him. Afterwards Ishii goes for a handshake, but Ospreay turns on him! The Great O’Kharn and Bea Priestley help beat down on Ishii. Okada then rushes out, but the gang escape in time. They then face off at Summer Struggle in Jingu, where Okada loses. Okada goes on to win the IWGP Heavyweight Championship off of EVIL however at King of Pro-Wrestling. On that same show however, Will loses his title to the first ever Japanese born man to hold the gold - Hiromu Takahashi.
Back to AEW, Jon Moxley has now had his sixth successful defence of the belt and is steadily approaching a year with the title. At Full Gear we witnessed Kenny Omega defeat Adam Page to win a #1 Contenders Tournament. This immediately sets up Moxley’s next challenger, Kenny Omega. Speaking of, what’s Kenny been up to since Double or Nothing? After losing their tag titles to FTR at All Out, they’d go their separate ways. Now both are alone, with The Elite having disbanded earlier in the year. Omega starts to act more heelish while Page earns more sympathy, his only companion now being the bottle. They come to blows at Full Gear and Omega officially turns heel on that night, attacking Adam with a barbed wire broom afterwards.
Next week on Dynamite is the return of The Cleaner. We saw the tease on the build to Double or Nothing, but he never fully capitalised. By dangling the carrot and then taking it away, you switch the fans from expecting something to hoping for it back - and when they get it back it’s an even bigger deal. He comes out with the shades and jacket; a new man - a more evil man. He comes out for an interview with Tony Schiavone, and when asked why he attacked Hangman - he answers in Japanese. He refuses to speak anything other than Japanese. This is the opposite effect of him only speaking English in promos while in NJPW. Jon Moxley comes out the week following to tell Kenny he doesn’t have a damn clue what he said last week, but all he knows is he’s going to beat him for the third time in a row at Revolution. Kenny then hits him with a V-Trigger to show who’s boss. Goodbye and Goodnight.
Jon the heads east to Japan in time for Power Struggle, where everything for Wrestle Kingdom 15 is set. The second ever Double Gold Dash between Kazuchika Okada (HW), Tetsuya Naito (IC), Kota Ibushi (G1) and Will Ospreay. Hiromu defends his IWGP United States Championship against an American in Juice Robinson, which he wins. Afterwards Jon Moxley makes his triumphant return to NJPW. He says that he’s not owed any match from Hiromu, but he wants that third US title reign. So he isn’t asking for anything - but just putting out the offer. If Hiromu gives him the match, he will put his AEW World Championship on the line too. Takahashi gives Jon a hug and accepts. He then does something weird, causing Moxley to leave with a eye roll and light smile.
Moxley then tries to scare Kenny when he comes back at the end of November with the barbed wire bat, but Kenny doesn’t budge. He has his own translator with him, to tell Moxley what he thinks. I think Kenny as a heel and a goofy translator character could be entertaining, since Omega has comedic chops and hopefully they can find a guy who does too. Firstly Kenny tells Jon that he’s above speaking the language of everyone in AEW because he’s on the next level above them. They are inferior to his new being. Kenny then says he has claimed every top title he possibly can - IWGP Heavyweight, KO-D Openweight from DDT and the PWG World titles. But that - what Moxley’s holding - has alluded him. He will take it.
Then it’s December, and we start Dynamite off with an angry Jon Moxley carrying out Michael Nakazawa to the ring. He has a barbed wire bat with him. He threatens to assault him unless Kenny speaks English to his face. Omega walks out to stop it...and then points the finger gun at Nakazawa. V-TRIGGER!! Did it for Mox. Kenny then leaves Jon with a broken man in the ring. After this, Kenny cuts a backstage promo with subtitles. He says Jon is what Pac said - he can’t wrestle. He can only do crazy hardcore spotfests, he can’t get down and technical. Meanwhile Kenny is the best in the world at that, and he knows if they fight in a clean match he WILL win. So he proposes that they fight in an Iron Man Match at Revolution. A DQ will result in a fall to the other wrestler, meaning if Jon gets extreme he will give Kenny a lead. The last Dynamite of 2020 sees Moxley bring Omega out to the ring to accept, and then attack him with the bat. Moxley then travels east for Wrestle Kingdom.
Wrestle Kingdom 15 Night Two: Hiromu Takahashi (c) vs. Jon Moxley (c) - IWGP United States Championship and AEW World Championship The second night of Wrestle Kingdom has arrived and it’s set to be a big one. The first night saw the beginning of the second ever Double Gold Dash - where we saw Tetsuya Naito defeat Will Ospreay to retain his Intercontinental Championship along with Kota Ibushi defeating Kazuchika Okada to win the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. Not only that but we also saw Jay White and Hiroshi Tanahashi in a grudge match as well as SANADA and EVIL do battle in a No Disqualification Match. Night two is now set to see Will Ospreay and Kazuchika Okada do battle as well as Okada and Ibushi fight once again for both belts. But before all that it’s the United States Championship match, and it all begins with
The Death Rider Coming out on his finest Harley Davidson, Jon Moxley drives out through the Tokyo Dome to ringside. The Young lions offer him help, but Mox hand selects his boy, Shota Umino, to help him out. The two pull it over the barricade and Moxley sits on it with the title slung over his shoulder, while Shooter does his best Shibata of arms folded and stone faced. “DEATHU RAIYDAH...JONAH MOXUREE!!!” Mox poses with the AEW World Championship. With that wacky entrance over we go to a man who can top “Wacky Dean” in every way you can do wacky possible, Hiromu Takahashi. He walks out with Daryl and Naoru, who hold the IWGP United States Championship between them. Jon sighs at this sight. Takahashi does his weird tongue taunt at all the people in the crowd, as there is no better greeting possible.
Once we’re underway Hiromu panders to the crowd for a minute or so, and then the lock up starts. A chinlock by Moxley is rolled out of and Hiromu rebounds with an arm drag into a school boy. Moxley kicks out and swings at Takahashi, who is already running off the ropes but is caught by a Big Boot! Jon then throws him into the corner and starts to unload punches. He then hits a big knee to the gut. A Snapmare and Soccer Kick follows. Jon is in control and applies a Nerve hold. Hiromu quickly sweeps out of it though and lands a Head Scissors Takedown! Hiromu puts his fingers in a v-shape and locks in between because he’s a weirdo. Commentary laugh at this but not so much at his HESITATION DROPKICK!! HOOKS THE LEG - JON KICKS OUT!! HIROMU THEN LEFTS HIM UP FOR A FALCON ARROW, BUT MOXLEY FLOATS OVER AND HITS A RELEASE SUPLEX!!
Moxley pulls himself up to stalk Takahashi in the corner, who stands up with him. He tries to get at Jon by raising his fist up towards his for a bump, and calling him “brother.” Moxley laughs it off and raises his hand, to the air, tue LIJ taunt. MOXLEY THEN HITS HIROMU WITH A SCOOP SLAM!! CURB STOMP FROM THE CORNER!! 1................2...........KICK OUT!! Jon pulls him up for a PARADIGM SHIFT - BUT HIROMU COUNTERS INTO THE DESTINO!!! 1.............2..........KICK OUT!! Both are down having done their partners moves - now learning they can’t follow any path but their own. They both recover on the outside after the kick outs from big moves. Takahashi is first back up and takes Jon back inside. He lands a Superkick to knock Moxley over the ropes, and then heads to the top ropes. HE DIVES OUTSIDE WITH A DIVING SENTON!! HE THROWS JON BACK INSIDE AND LOCKS IN A TRIANGLE CHOKE!!
He pulls and pulls on the hold, but then Jon reaches the ropes. Hiromu tries to Superkick him again BUT JON HITS HIM WITH A PENDELUM LARIAT!! HE TRIES FOR THE PARADIGM SHIFT AGAIN BUT TAKAHASHI FLOATS OVER INTO A CANADIAN DESTORYER!! MOXLEY ROLLS OUT AHD LOCKS IN A FUJIAWARA ARMBAR!! MOXLEY STOMPS ON THE HEAD FOR FURTHER DAMAGE!!! HIROMU IS FADING - UNTIL HE ROLLS OUT!! SUPERKICK FOLLOWED BY A DYNAMITE PLUNGER OVER THE ROPES TO THE APRON!! TAKAHASHI THEN FLIES OUT WITH A TOPE CON HILO!!!! Commentary are screaming for Hiromu to throw him inside and finish the job, but he’s too banged up from the fall. The ref’s 20 count begins, but by 15 they’re both back in.
Takahashi thinks for a cover, but considers it too late. He rethinks and goes for a Time Bomb, but Moxley gets out and HITS AN ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! ONE HITTER BY JON!!!! 1.................2.............KICK OUT!! TAKAHASHI BREAKS OUT AND HITS THE JOHN WOO DROPKICK!! He rolls out and sets up one of NJPW’s famously hard wood tables. HE GOES FOR A SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB TO MOXLEY!! BUT JON BLOCKS IT, AND HITS A PARADIGM SHIFT TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH THE TABLE!! HE DRAGS HIROMU TAKAHASHI BACK INSIDE AND COVERS - 1...................2...............3!!!!! JON MOXLEY HAS WON THE IWGP UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE THIRD TIME IN HISTORY, AND HAS SUCCESSFULLY RETAINED HIS AEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!! Afterwards he grabs a microphone and says “Naito, Ibushi - I don’t care which one of you, but whoever you are - I want to hold four titles.”
Jon Moxley defeats Hiromu Takahashi (20:11) Jon says he’s heading back home in the press conference with two titles, and says that after 18 months under his tutelage - he’s letting Shooter spread his wings and go off as his own man. “I’ll see ya soon bud.” he tells him as he walks off through the door, both belts slung over his shoulders. Jon returns home to the States on the week after AEW Homecoming, and the week before the Jericho Cruise sets sail. He comes back and while passing him backstage, says to Kenny Omega: “くたばれ!” (In romaji: (kutabare!”) (means “go to hell!” Literally means "Drop dead!") A match is confirmed for the Jericho Cruise ship, where both guys will team together to run a gauntlet. The build for this is seen when Omega opens the show with a backstage promo (because this show needs promos where every third word isn’t cut off by reception).
He says that Jon may think he’s now the king of Japan, but he better no who he’s talking to. Former IWGP Heayvweight, Intercontinental, Junior Heavyweight, United States, Tag Team and NEVER Openweight Six-man Tag Team Champion. Jon can’t and never will top his Puroresu credentials. So he’s going to get to watch Omega to do what he did for 10 years and feel what it’s like to be the lesser, because he needs to be knocked off his perch now he’s passed over 300 days as champion. Jon comes out normally but Kenny has all the bells and whistles, as he enters to “Dragon Heart” from Seiken Tsukai No World Break. He’s led to the ring by a group of dancing ladies with brooms, as he basks in his own ego. They ultimately fall to FTR - the team who defeated Page and Omega at All Out, after a miscommunication.
Bash at the Beach and they have a match with FTR, this time for their AEW World Tag Team Championships. Cash slips out of a One Winged Angel and locks in a Fujiwara Armbar. Omega struggles in it but then he’s done for when Dax drops down with a Knee. Omega then instantly tap. Afterwards Jon goes ballistic on him for not making him a triple champion. “No wonder everyone you loved left you.” he says in an interview with Tony Schiavone next week. After that Kenny challenges Moxley saying that everyone he loved left him. Moxley then slowly brings out all his buddies. Darby Allin, Sting, Will Hobbs and Shota Umino. He then starts to call for Omega’s friends. “Riho? Nakazawa? Hangman? The Bucks? No one home it seems. But what hurts most is this: IBUSHI?
dead silence” “Now all you got is your dumbass translator. Speaking of -
attacks translator” Kenny walks off in defeat.
The go home show confirms a Hardcore Match between Kenny Omega and Michael Nakazawa. Nakazawa left Kenny as a friend after he turned to the dark side. This is a match driven by enough but told through DDT hardcore spots. I think I’m the only person on earth who enjoyed Nakazawa/Jebailey so I’d like this, also considering it contains Kenny Omega in it. Omega wins with a One Winged Angel onto a pile of loose arcade buttons. Afterwards he speaks in English for the first time all year. “Jon - what I do to you at Revolution will end your fairytale of a title run. I am not who you had your first successful defence against, you have seen god damn nothing.” This means we’ve reached our destination - Los Angeles, the city in which we will witness the Iron Man Match between Kenny Omega and Jon Moxley.
Revolution 2021: Jon Moxley (c) vs. Kenny Omega - 30-minute Iron Man Match for the AEW World Championship Revolution has seen a lot so far, and is already in the history books as one of AEW’s best ever PPVs. But you have to save the best for last, of course. The main event arrives, and it starts with something hardcore...
BABYMETAL. Live on the stage are the most Kenny Omega band imaginable, signing a song about hardships and overcoming defeat via perseverance. Then a fan walks on stage and starts to jam out, and the bad stop and look at him weird. Lights go out...ITS KENNY OMEGA!! AS AKUMA’S RAGING DEMON!! His hair is dyed red and spiked up and he has the demon symbol painted on his back. They then resume the song as Omega walks down. Justin Roberts has really strapped up his boots for this one and he has to do not one but two dramatic ring introductions for this match.
Jon Moxley then doesn’t have a Harley Davidson like last time (some things are too good to be true), instead having to walk like a beta. Nevertheless he still has two titles with him, commentary pointing out his IWGP United States Championship - also mentioning the belts inaugural champion was Kenny Omega - but now Moxley has held it three times. He walks past his wife Renee Paquette in the crowd who wishes him good luck. Jon slithers into the ring and makes Omega watch as he raises up both titles. Excalibur says that Omega will be the third man in history to have held a major heavyweight championship in Mexico, Japan and the United States if he wins. Previous winners being Antonio Inoki (IWGP, WWF and UWA) and Vader (IWGP/AJPW, WCW and UWA). Also j the crowd for this match are Alex Jebailey who receives a boo at his arrival. The cameras then go to Renee who gets a pop.
The bell rings and the match has started. Kenny and Jon slowly advance, doing little circles around the centre. Then they pounce into a lock up. Kenny misses the chinlock and instead is on the receiving end of one. He tries to slide out but Jon snatches him back with an armhold. Omega kicks up to knock Jon off and get away. He dusts his hands and this time leapfrogs Moxley when he goes for him, and grabs him by the waist. He slams him back and gets a rest hold in. He applies a headlock and rolls back into a mini Crossface. Jon grabs the ropes and retreats to his corner. Eventually he gets bored of this and wants to fuck shit up, so when Omega runs at him he hits a kick to the midsection! Moxley then with an EXPLODER SUPLEX STRAIGHT AWAY!! He hits it and basks in the soaking applause of the fans.
Jon lifts Kenny up but he’s hit by a Enziguri!! HE FOLLOWS WITH THE YOU CAN’T ESCAPE! As soon as the Moonsault lands he covers, 1........2......KICK OUT!! Jon then connects an Arm Drag and follows with a Kitchen Sink! HE TRIES FOR AN EARLY PARADIGM SHIFT!! OMEGA FLOATS OVER AND LANDS A KOTARO KRUSHER!!! HE HITS ANOTHER ONE INTO THE CORNER!!! He flies over the ropes with the second and so starts to scale the turnbuckles to get back in. HE PULLS JON UP BY A GUTWRENCH!! He tugs and tugs but Moxley sandbags. He still gets him to the first rope. He’s looking for Dr. Wiley’s Powerbomb! MOXLEY THEN LIFTS HIM FOR A SUPERPLEX!! KENNY STAYS PUT!! MOXLEY THEN CATCHES HIM WITH AN AIR RAID CRASH!! HE FLIES!! 1.............2..........3!!!!!!!!!!
Jon Moxley earns 1 point. Omega is flustered by that sudden pinfall. Moxley is arrogant about getting a quick pin and turns around to showboat. HE’S THEN CAUGHT WITH A REVERSE FRANKENSTEINER BY OMEGA!! Kenny then slits his throat and points a finger gun at Moxley’s head, BEFORE LANDING A V-TRIGGER!! HE HITS THE AOI SHOUDOU!! HE THEN RUNS THE ROPES FOR ANOTHER V-TRIGGER BUT HES CAUGHT WITH A HEADBUTT!! MOXLEY THEN HITS A CUTTER!!! 1..KICK OUT!! OMEGA GETS UP AND HITS A MISSILE DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!! This man is not fucking about. He pulls Moxley up and thinks he’ll hit him with his own move, the Paradigm Shift. MOXLEY COUNTERS WITH A BACKBODY DROP TO THE OUTSIDE!! Omega lands on his feet, but is immediately hit by a SUICIDE DIVE FROM MOXLEY!!
Both guys are now on the outside after the big dive. Moxley isn’t much of a high flyer aside from his elbow drops, but here he just went. He gets up with a middle finger in the sky to show he enjoyed that. He drags Kenny back in with him. He throws Omega to the corner and starts to come in with punches and stomps. He runs for a HESITATION DROPKICK!! He then lifts Omega up for a chop. He readies himself...OMEGA HITS A V-TRIGGER!! DRAGON SUPLEX BY OMEGA!! RISE OF THE TERMINATOR BY OMEGA TO THE OUTSIDE!! He then bashes Moxley’s head off the ring post a few times until he throws him back in He irish whips Jon to the corner, who jumps to the second rope, and IS THEN HIT WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE REAR!! OMEGA CLIMBS UP AND HITS A SUPER CROYT’S WRATH!!!! 1..............2..............3!!!!
Kenny Omega earns 1 point. We’re now approaching 20 minutes and the score has just been made equal. Omega climbs up and is now the one who gets cocky. He comes prepared for the surprise attack as he flips out of a German Suplex. SUPERKICK INTO THE ROPES, BUT IS CAUGHT BY A PENDULUM LARIAT!! MOXLEY THEN GOES FOR A SPINNING PARADIGM SHIFT! KENNY ESCAPES AND RUNS THE ROPES, BUT IS CAUGHT BY A KITCHEN SINK!! JAPANESE ARM DRAG BY MOXLEY!! They’re desperate for the second point and the clock is ticking. We’re over 20 minutes now. Omega kicks into gear when he attempts a One Winged Angel and the fans leave their seats. Moxley quickly slides out though and scurries for the corner. Kenny basks in the glory of embarrassing the world champion. HE’S THEN ROLLED UP BY MOXLEY!! KICK OUT AND A DOUBLE DOWN FROM STEREO CLOTHESLINES!!
Continues in comments Below is a rundown of letters J-L of Epstein's contacts. Last year, I wrote about letters A-C. You can check that out here (
https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/cpis3n/a_brief_rundown_of_the_first_ten_pages_of_jeffrey/).
I also wrote about letters D-F on July 5, 2020. You can check that out here (
https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hlrba8/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_df_in_jeffrey/).
I posted letters G-I on July 13, 2020. You can check that out here (
https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hqko0y/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_gi_in_jeffrey/). There are some misspelled names. Epstein entered their names like this.
I have bolded some of the more interesting connections and information, but there could be much more that I overlooked. I hope something here strikes an interest in someone and maybe we can get more investigations out of this. Please, if you know anything more about any of these people than what is presented here, post below. I am working off of the unredacted black book found here:
https://www.coreysdigs.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Jeffrey-Epsteins-Little-Black-Book-unredacted.pdf J-L Jackson, Michael (Samuel Gen): Yes, this is a reference to MJ the singer. However, the numbers listed are not MJ’s. They belong to Samuel Gen, a lawyer for a financial advisor (Jerry Seinfeld’s brother-in-law) who worked for MJ for a while. This one was a reach for Epstein.
Jacobson, Julian: Likely a reference to a Managing Director at several London-based investment firms.
Jagger, Mick: World-famous lead singer of the Rolling Stones. Has been seen in photographs with Ghislaine Maxwell. Actress Rae Dawn Chong claims she slept with Jagger when she was 15 years old.
Jagger, Hatti: Former fashion director for Vogue, Harper’s, and Tatler. Also works as a celebrity stylist and at fashion shows.
jake: Not enough info.
Jameel, Mohammed: Saudi Arabian businessman. CEO of Abdul Latif Jameel, a collective of family-owned businesses that specialize in transportation, investing, and real estate. Royal pervert Prince Andrew infamously partied on Jameel’s yacht during the 2011 London riots (source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-andrew-frolicks-on-yacht-with-mystery-147496). James, Susie: Founder and owner of 123 Send Ltd, a company that provides payment terminals.
Janklow, Linda: Literary agent and wife of Mort Janklow, the primary owner of Janklow & Nesbit Associates, the largest literary agency in the world. Attended a party hosted by Sony Pictures with Epstein, although they are not pictured together (source: https://www.patrickmcmullan.com/search/?event=5b3ef4fb9f92906676446c21). In 2007, Ghislaine Maxwell threw an exclusive party (80 carefully selected guests) at her NYC townhouse to celebrate the opening of a new shop by designer Allegra Hicks (granddaughter-in-law of Earl Mountbatten, who you can read more about in my G-I Epstein thread under India Hicks’s name). One of the eighty guests was Julie Landlow, daughter of Linda and Mort. Jarecki, Nancy & Andrew: Andrew is a filmmaker, co-founder of Moviefone, and was a producer on Catfish, the documentary that launched the popular MTV show. Andrew’s family was reportedly friends with Jeffrey Epstein. There is an EXCELLENT thread on the connections between the Jarecki family (especially Andrew and Nick’s father, Henry) and Epstein here (source: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1200044576947556352.html). Quick summary: Henry was born in Nazi Germany; flew on the Lolita Express; is an expert in psychotropic drugs; owns two islands in the British Virgin Islands; founded the first youth center in the British Virgin Islands; lived 2 miles from Epstein in NYC; owns and donates to many sketchy foundations, schools, and organizations; has donated at least $1 million to leftist organizations). Andrew’s wife Nancy created bettybeauty, a company that specializes in hair dye for your nether regions (not kidding). Jarecki, Nick: The movie director brother of Andrew and son of Henry Jarecki (see link under Andrew & Nancy Jarecki for more info). Reportedly dated Courtney Love (also in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’) in 2015. Photographed with Ghislaine Maxwell at a Gucci party (source: https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/ghislaine-maxwell-and-nick-jarecki-attend-gucci-hosts-a-news-photo/591605562). Jason (canada): Not enough info. Could be artist Jason Wasserman based out of Canada. The second number listed traces back to Station 16 Gallery in Montreal.
Javier: Javier Banon is former Co-head of Merchant Banking at Lehman Brothers and current Founding Partner of Trilantic Europe.
Jeffries, Tim: Ownedirector of Hamiltons Gallery in London. Best known for dating models Elle Macpherson, Claudia Schiffer, Kylie Minogue and Sophie Dahl (also in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’). Jefferies has attended fundraisers for ARK Academy and the NSPCC. He truly cares about children. Johnson, Richard & Nadine: Nadine is a millionaire public relations guru. Nadine is a good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell’s. Some clients of Nadine Johnson include spirit cooking extraordinaire Marina Abramovic and hotelier Andre Balazs, good friend of Ghislaine. Richard is one of the most well-known gossip columnists and was the editor of Page Six for twenty-five years. There is a great thread detailing the Johnsons’ ties to the Clintons, Balazs, and others here (source: https://threader.app/thread/1162148078981394432). Basically, Richard Johnson is friendly with the Clintons and, as Page Six Editor, purposely did not report or downplayed stories on the Clintons and Nadine’s clients. He also took bribes. Considering Nadine is a good friend of Ghislaine, it would not be a stretch to assume that Richard could have buried stories on Maxwell and Epstein. I could spend 10 pages on the shady connections these two have. Johnson, Lucy: Not enough info.
Jones, Ann & Mick: Mick is the guitarist of Foreigner, an immensely popular rock band in the ‘70s and ‘80s. His wife, Ann, is a jewelry designer, and friend of Ghislaine. Ann Jones was photographed at a party with Ghislaine and Donald Trump in 1997 (source: https://www.the-sun.com/news/85818/epstein-madam-ghislaine-maxwell-milked-billionaire-dad-and-threw-lavish-parties-with-beautiful-women/) Josephson, Barry & Jackie: Barry is a producer and the former President of Production for Columbia Pictures. Jackie is his ex-wife and also a producer.
Karella, Kalliope: Wife of Prince Pierre d’Arenberg. Kalliope is a good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell.
Kastner, Ron: No info found.
Katz, Anton & Robin Plant: Anton is CEO and co-founder of Talos Trading, which specializes in cryptocurrency. Anton and Robin are friends of and have been photographed with Ghislaine (source:
https://www.patrickmcmullan.com/search/?person=5b3ef50c9f929066764df255).
Katzeneilenbogen, Mark: Long-time investment banker who used to be based out of South Africa.
Keeling, Sarah: There is a Sarah Keeling in London who is a former British government official with 20 years of experience in national security and intelligence experience, however, the phone number listed has a 410 area code, which leads back to eastern Maryland. Inconclusive.
Kegan, Rory: A nightclub designer and creator. Co-founder of the exclusive, celebrity-filled London nightclub, Chinawhite. Prince Andrew (source: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9818190/prince-andrew-pictures-cast-doubt-epstein-sex-slave/) and Prince Albert of Monaco are regulars. Chelsea Clinton has been there, as well (source: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/bright-night-for-china-white-6299739.html). Other patrons include: Prince Andrew, Kate Middleton, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and more. Keidan, Amanda: Owner of Keidan Jewelry.
Keidan, Jon: An entertainment executive-turned-venture capitalist. As an entertainment exec, Keidan worked with John Legend, Dave Matthews Band, and Nappy Roots. Keidan serves on the Council of Foreign Relations, a powerful group that some believe determines foreign policy. Former and current members include former presidents, current and former politicians, business magnates, and celebrities (https://www.cfr.org/membership/roster). Keller, Georgie: Interior designer.
Kellette Frayse, Caroline: Fashion editor at Vogue and Tatler (both magazines constantly come up in Epstein’s contacts). Former girlfriend of Imran Khan, whose name has come up frequently. Passed away in 2014. Her husband, Jean-Marc Fraysse, is a French investment banker.
Kelmenson, Leo-Arthur & Gayl: Leo was an advertising and marketing guru who has been credited with saving Chrysler. Friend and advisor to Lee Iacocca, former President of Chrysler. He worked as Special Project Officer for the U.S. Department of State under President John F. Kennedy and AG Robert F. Kennedy. He had tons of connections. His former maid accused him of sexual harassment in 2010 (source: https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/maid-harassment-suit-claims-ad-exec-leo-arthur-kelmenson-madman-pervy-mad-men-wannabe-article-1.156915). Kelmenson died less than two months after the story came out. Kennedy Cuomo, Andrew & Kerry: Andrew is the current governor of New York. It’s no secret that Cuomo is willing to look the other way on sexual deviancy as long as he receives a payoff. Cuomo halted a probe into the handling of Harvey Weinstein’s case in New York after receiving $25,000 from Weinstein’s law firm (source: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bjbqg4/andrew-cuomo-received-dollar25000-donation-from-harvey-weinsteins-law-firm). Andrew’s brother, CNN Host Chris Cuomo famously told viewers “not to get caught up in the intrigue of who Epstein’s friends are” (source: https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2019/07/11/cnn_cuomo_lets_not_get_caught_up_in_the_intrigue_of_who_was_friends_with_jeffrey_epstein.html). Perhaps, he was covering for his brother. Kerry Kennedy is Cuomo’s ex-wife of fifteen years, the daughter of RFK, and a close friend of Ghislaine Maxwell. Supposedly, Kennedy provided Ghislaine with informal illegal advice (source: https://www.splicetoday.com/politics-and-media/the-nth-word-and-m-theory). Kennedy Jr. Ted: Son of Ted Kennedy and nephew of JFK and RFK. Ted Jr. dabbled in politics and currently works as a lawyer. His father, Ted, was a notorious sexual abuser (allegedly). Kennedy, Bobby & Mary: Bobby is the son of RFK and nephew of JFK. Bobby is a known drug abuser and philanderer. Bobby kept a sex journal detailing his conquests while he was married (source: https://nypost.com/2013/09/08/rfk-jr-s-sex-diary-of-adultery/). His ex-wife, Mary, committed “suicide” two years after their divorce. Before committing suicide, Mary told a friend that she “feared for her life” and Bobby told her that she “would be better off dead” (source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3231043/How-serial-cheater-Bobby-Kennedy-Jr-strutted-family-home-exposing-private-parts-demanded-m-nage-trois-wife-Mary-went-public-Cheryl-Hines-telling-Mary-things-easier-killed-herself.html). Kennedy, Ethel: Widow of RFK Sr. and mother of eleven, including Bobby Kennedy, Kerry Kennedy, and Joseph Kennedy II. Kennedy, Jo: Joseph Kennedy II is the son of RFK Sr. and Ethel. Served in the House of Representatives from 1987-1999. In 1973, Joseph was convicted of negligent driving after paralyzing a young woman. He was fined $100. Kennedy, Senator Edward: Brother of JFK and RFK, Ted Kennedy served as U.S. Senator of Massachusetts for 47 years. Besides politics, Ted is best known for the Chappaquiddick incident in which a young female speechwriter for RFK drowned to death when he lost control of his vehicle while driving across a bridge. He was charged with leaving the scene of an incident and given a two month suspended sentence. Ted was also notorious for his extramarital affairs. Senator Kennedy once hosted a party at his house attended by Bill Clinton and Lynn Forester de Rothschild. Rothschild wrote a letter to Clinton afterwards in which she mentions that they spoke about Epstein (source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7283825/Jeffrey-Epstein-injured-jail-cell-following-possible-suicide-assault.html). It is unclear what was said or what Rothschild’s connection could possibly be. Kersner, Sol: South African accountant and hotel and casino magnate who died of cancer in 2020. Kerzner was a close friend of Donald Trump. They even worked together to create The Palm, a man-made island off the coast of Dubai (source: https://www.ft.com/content/46393280-d9f9-11da-b7de-0000779e2340). Kerzner was also close friends with Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sarah-ferguson-the-duchess-of-york-sol-kerzner-chairman-and-news-photo/83768272), Naomi Campbell (https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/naomi-campbell-and-sol-kerzner-pose-backstage-during-the-news-photo/82869744), and Bill Clinton (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8144647/As-Sol-Kerzner-dies-aged-84-RICHARD-KAY-looks-riotously-louche-life.html). Kerzner was very good friends with Nelson Mandela and built his casino resorts with Gerard Inzerillo, who you can read about in my G-I ‘Black Book’ thread. Khayat, Antoine, Jana, & George: Jana is an heiress and businesswoman. Jana is the niece of Galen Weston, a close friend of Prince Charles. George is her brother and CEO of Associated British Foods. Jana’s husband, Antoine, is a former banker and currently runs their vineyard. Kidd, Jemma: Kidd is a British makeup artist, fashion model, and aristocrat. Married to Arthur Wellesley, Earl of Mornington, the son of the Duke and Duchess of Wellington, making her a Countess. Kidd is an interesting figure with elite connections. From 2005-2012, Ghislaine Maxwell served as Director of Jemma Kidd Make-Up Limited, a U.K. makeup company, which was founded by Kidd. Not only did Ghislaine serve as Director, but she was also a shareholder, along with the Rothschild family (source: https://nationalpost.com/news/world/in-hiding-for-years-epstein-accomplice-ghislaine-maxwell-spotted-in-l-a-burger-shop). If you click around the PDFs on this website (https://beta.companieshouse.gov.uk/company/05340072/filing-history), you can see everything. The 16 JUN 2006 PDF on page 3 shows you a list of Officers and shareholders of the company. Jemma Kidd has also attended charity events for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) (https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-beckham-nspcc-party-jemma-kidd-106882170.html). Her sister, Jodie, is also a huge supportefundraiser of the NSPCC, as well as the Help a London Child and Monsoon Accessorize Trust charities, both of which help out disadvantaged children (source: https://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/jodie-kidd). King, Abby: No info found.
Kirwin Taylor, Charlie & Helen: Charles is an investment banker. He was former CEO of Credit Suisse in Switzerland, an investment firm which shows up a few times through Epstein’s contacts. His wife, Helen, is a journalist.
Kirwin Taylor, Peter: British financier. Was a member of the Pilgrims Society (
https://isgp-studies.com/pilgrims-society-membership-list), a group that has included the Rothschilds, Rockefellers, and other elites amongst its ranks.
Kissinger, Dr. Henry A: Former U.S. Secretary of State and National Security Advisor under Nixon. Kissinger has long been accused of committing war crimes (ex: carpet bombing Cambodia, installing fascist governments in Chile and Argentina, genocide, extending our stay in Vietnam, etc) yet somehow managed to win a Nobel Peace Prize in 1973. Kissinger once said, “Military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy.” Kissinger served with Epstein on the Trilateral Commission. Kissinger has also been a member of the Bilderberg Group, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Aspen Institute, and Bohemian Grove. Long thought to be an advocate for a globalist New World Order, Kissinger is a scumbag of the highest order. His connections with Gates, the Clintons, Bush Sr. and Jr., the Rockefellers, and the Rothschilds are well-documented. If anyone here has ever done any research regarding the NWO, you have undoubtedly seen Kissinger’s name several times. Klee, Rupert & Charlotte de: Rupert is a Director with Oakridge Group, a property development and investment company. His wife, Charlotte, is the producer of the religious plays at Wintershall.
Klesch, Johnathan: Former Director of Klesch Trading, which specializes in industrial commodities. It has offices in Russia, Malta, Surrey, and in London, down the block from Buckingham Palace.
Koch, David: Co-founder of Koch Industries, a diversified manufacturing conglomerate. Koch Industries has stolen oil from Indian reservations, committed hundreds of polluting, labor, and workplace safety violations. When he ran on the Libertarian ticket as the vice presidential nominee in 1980, Koch aimed to abolish Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, welfare benefits, and minimum wage. Koch and Epstein were friends. Epstein even attended a party at Koch’s Southampton home (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7270735/Jeffrey-Epstein-Trumps-closest-advisers-Wilbur-Ross-Rudy-Giuliani-Steve-Mnunchin.html). Koch has also been photographed with Ghislaine Maxwell (https://www.reddit.com/KochWatch/comments/dcjth3/david_koch_ghislaine_maxwell_getty_images/). Thankfully, Koch died last year. Kohl, Astrid: A businesswoman involved in pharmaceuticals. Married to Prince Alexander of Liechtenstein. Daughter-in-law of Prince Philipp of Liechtenstein. Niece of former German Chancellor, Helmut Kohl.
Kotic, Boby: CEO of Activision Blizzard, a video game holding company. Used to run several electronic companies. From 2003-2008, he was a director at Yahoo! In 2012, he became a non-executive director of Coca-Cola.
Kotze, Alex Von: British businessman involved in the tech industry.
Kravetz, Anna: Not much info found. Has a degree in finance from Wharton School and used to live on Park Avenue in NYC.
Krooth, Caryn: A successful real estate agent based out of Los Angeles
Kudrow, Alistar: No info found.
Lal, Dalamal: Director of Akron Corp. & Akron (Nig.) Ltd., a food and beverage import company based out of Nigeria.
Lalaunis, Demetra: Daughter of Ilias Lalaounis, a pioneer in Greek jewelry and a world renowned goldsmith.
Lambert, Christopher: Well-known actor.
Lambert, David: Former partner, managing director, and VP at Goldman Sachs.
Lambert, Edward: Lampert is a billionaire hedge fund manager and former CEO of Sears. Lampert graduated from Yale University in 1984 where he was a member of Skull and Bones. Rumored pedophile David Geffen gave Lampert $200 million to invest in 1992, when Lampert was just 29 years old. Lampert made Geffen $1 billion. Lambos Duff & John: Karen “Duff” Duffy is an actress, model, and TV personality. She has had memorable roles as the love interest in “Blank Check” and as JP Shay in “Dumb and Dumber.” Duffy has battled with sarcoidosis, a deadly central nervous system disease, since the mid-’90s. She credits Harvey Weinstein with saving her life (https://nypost.com/2000/10/03/coping-with-class-this-model-patient-suffers-in-style/). John is a former banker with Morgan Stanley and current President of GCA-US, an investment banking company. Lang, Caroline: An art expert and Chairman at Sotheby’s Switzerland.
Lange, Dieter: Former Partner at WilliamHare, an international law firm with offices in London, Berlin, the U.S., Beijing, and Brussels. Passed away in 2010.
Larsen Janet: The only one I can find is a Business Psychologist based out of London.
Laurie, Jonathan: Founder and CEO of Cheyne Capital Management, an alternate investment fund firm.
Lavlada, Laura D.B. de: Laura Diez Barroso is a Mexican businesswoman. She sold her stock in Televisa for $726 million in 1993. Since then, she has been the head of several other companies.
Lawford Christopher & Jean: Christopher was an actor and relative of the Kennedys. His uncles were JFK, RFK, and Ted Kennedy. Many of his relatives appear in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’. His first wife, Jeannie, was an ad-sales associate for New York Magazine. Lawton Paul: Two British businessmen with the same name come up. Both have extensive resumes. Could be either one.
Lazar, Christopher & Marie: Christophe seems to be a realtor in Paris, but I am not completely sure.
Le Bon, Simon & Jasmine: Simon is the lead singer of Duran Duran. His wife, Yasmin, is/was a fashion model. Yasmin is represented by Models1 in London. Models1 also represents Epstein and Ghislaine’s friend, Naomi Campbell. Le Bon has been accused of sexual assault in the past (https://www.freep.com/story/news/2018/07/12/simon-le-bons-accuser-sex-assault-claim-speaks-out-awful/777106002/). Le Fur, Jean-Yves: French businessman and magazine creator. He was once Princess Stephanie of Monaco’s ex-fiance. More notably, Le Fur was the one who discovered supermodel Karen Mulder (his girlfriend at the time) on the floor after she attempted suciide. Mulder blew the lid off the rampant rape and sexual abuse that she and her modeling colleagues had suffered at the hands of businessmen, royalty, celebrities, and government officials. She was even the protege of Epstein collaborator (allegedly), Jean Luc Brunel (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article238351108.html). Le Marg Willie: No info found.
Lea, Piers: CEO of Learning Technologies Group, a workplace digital learning company.
Leeds, Jeffrey: Co-founder and Managing Partner of Leeds Equity. One of Leeds Equity’s partner companies is Endeavor Schools, which runs private preschools, primary schools, and secondary schools in Florida and 11 other states (https://www.leedsequity.com/news/articles/leeds-equity-partners-completes-investment-in-endeavor-schools). They are also partners with Fusion Educational Group (now Fusion Academy), which runs a chain of private secondary schools (https://www.leedsequity.com/news/articles/leeds-equity-partners-completes-investment-in-fusion-education-group). Former teacher Kris White, now the head of Fusion Academy in Palo Alto, allegedly told a student that he was in love with her and wrote her a note saying he was “obsessed” with her. (https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/07/12/teachers-named-in-presentation-high-sex-investigation-kept-working-as-bay-area-educators-for-years/). This story was just published on July 12, 2020. Hypothetically, if one wanted to procure underage children, it would certainly help if the head of the school was on board and possibly a pedophile himself. According to this former teacher at Fusion Academy, “many students struggle with learning differences, behavioral issues, and/or addictions” (https://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Employee-Review-Fusion-Academy-RVW21260629.htm). In other words, the downtrodden and vulnerable. Fusion Academy refers to itself as a non-traditional school that focuses on individual students. Seems like a great opportunity. Leeds was also good friends with Epstein (https://nymag.com/nymetro/news/people/n_7912/) and has close ties to Colin Powell and Rudy Giuliani (https://nypost.com/2016/09/14/colin-powell-wont-vote-for-her-because-of-bill-clinton/). Lefcourt, Jerry: Famous lawyer who defended Epstein in 2007. That same year, Epstein donated $250,000 to the Washington-based Foundation for Criminal Justice, where Lefcourt was a board member.
Lester, Dominick: Founder and owner of MortgageFlex Systems, a mortgage lending company.
Levine, Phillip: Ex-Miami Beach mayor and close friend of Bill and Hillary Clinton. He claims that he doesn’t know how Epstein got his contact information… all 13 phone numbers, including those of his driver and housekeepers (https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/ex-miami-beach-mayor-philip-levine-listed-13-times-in-jeffrey-epsteins-black-book-11242116)! Liman, Doug: Popular Hollywood director and producer. He directed Swingers, The Bourne Identity, and a couple of Tom Cruise movies.
Lindeman-Barnet, Sloan & Roger: Sloan has been a New York Times bestseller and an on-air and print reporter for NBC, ABC, and Reuters. Sloan and Roger also sit on the board of the Spence School in New York City, a private K-12 all-girls school (https://www.spenceschool.org/2017---news-detail?pk=999120). Her husband, Roger, is the founder of beauty.com and Chairman and CEO of Shaklee, a highly successful nutrition company. Donald Trump, Melania Trump, and Ghislaine Maxwell all attended the publication party for Sloan’s book in 2008 (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/ghislaine-maxwell-anton-katz-and-robin-katz-attend-sloan-news-photo/619921016 ; https://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/news-photo/donald-trump-melania-trump-sloan-barnett-and-roger-barnett-news-photo/619921180).Other guests included Steve Mnuchin, Epstein and Maxwell chum Carol Mack, and a bunch of others also featured in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’ (Colin Cowie, Anton and Robin Katz, and Vittorio Assaf). Lindemann, Adam & Elizabeth: Adam is a billionaire investor and art gallery owner. Brother of Sloan (mentioned just above). Elizabeth is his ex-wife. She is often photographed with many other people mentioned in Epstein’s ‘Black Book.’
Lindemann, George(Sr.) & Freida: Now-deceased billionaire father of Sloan and Adam. George was the CEO and Chairman of Southern Union, a pipeline company and served as Vice President of the Metropolitan Opera Association of NYC. His wife, Frayda, is the President and CEO of the Metropolitan Opera.
Lindsay, Alex & Jaclyn: Alex is a war documentary maker who rents out his loft at the address Epstein has listed (
https://www.independent.co.uk/property/house-and-home/property/spheres-of-influence-72014.html).
Lindsey, Ludovic: Racecar driver.
Lindsley, Blake: Actress who was in two movies directed by Doug Liman (also in Epstein’s book) - “Swingers” and “Getting In.”
Linley, David: Princess Margaret’s son, Queen Elizabeth II’s nephew, and first cousin of Prince Charles and Prince Andrew. Linley is a furniture maker and the 2nd Earl of Snowdon. He used to be the Chairman of Christie’s auction house in the UK.
Liogos, Babis: No info found, but one of the numbers traces back to Thylan Associates, a real estate and investment firm.
Lister, Paul: Likely the director of legal services and company secretary for Associated British Foods, or it could be a conservationist. Not sure which.
Livanos, Arriette: I believe this Arietta Livanos, wife of Greek shipping magnate, Stavros Livanos. Arietta passed away in 1986.
Lo Cascio, Robert: Founder and CEO of LivePerson, a tech company that develops conversational commerce. LoCascio was photographed with Ghislaine at an after party in 2012 (
https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/ghislaine-maxwell-and-robert-locascio-attend-osklen-spring-news-photo/1169681572).
Loeb, Alex: Alexandra is the daughter of John Loeb, former U.S. Ambassador to Denmark under Reagan and former Delegate to the United Nations. John Loeb was also a special advisor to Nelson Rockefeller. Alexandra is also a descendant of the Lehman family (Lehman Brothers). Alexandra graduated from Spence Day School for Girls (mentioned earlier under Sloan and Roger Lindemann-Barnett). Lonsdale, Richard: British investment banker.
Lorenzoti, Eva Vivre: Founder of luxury online retailer, Vivre.com and is a TV spokesperson/personality. Good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell. Maxwell and a couple of Rockefellers were guests at her house for a dinner party in 2010 (
https://hauteliving.com/2010/11/doris-world-eva-lorenzottis-dinner-party/105102/).
Lorimer, John & Lottie: John works as a private investor and as a realtor. His wife, Lottie, is an interior designer.
Louthan Guy J: Prolific British film producer and former boyfriend of actress Liz Hurley (also in Epstein’s book).
Love, Courtney: Famous drug addict, musician, and actress who likely killed her husband, Kurt Cobain. Courtney famously claimed that Prince Andrew showed up to her house late one night in 2000 looking for sex. She has since retracted this claim. The entries under Love’s name all say ‘Dana’ next to them. This is Courtney’s ex-boyfriend, Dana Giacchetto. Giacchetto was considered to be the “stockbroker to the stars” and was friends with JFK Jr, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, and many others. He ripped his clients off of millions. Even more telling, Giacchetto was involved in a sex abuse case against X-Men director Bryan Singer (https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/news/leonardo-dicaprios-convicted-ex-money-manager-denies-bryan-050000120.html). He died in 2016 after he partied too hard and overdosed (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/dana-giacchetto-dead-stockbroker-stars-902383). Lowell, Ivana: Guinness heiress who wrote about Harvey Weinstein’s sexual abuse while she worked at Miramax in her book back in 2010 (
https://www.irishcentral.com/culture/entertainment/guinness-heiress-spoke-out-about-predator-harvey-weinstein-7-years-ago). She also dated Harvey’s younger brother, Bob.
Loyd Mark: No info found.
Lucas, Colin: The godfather of Boris Johnson, England’s current Prime Minister. Lucas is a British historian and university administrator. Served as Vice Chancellor of Oxford University from 1997-2004.
Continuing… That being handled, I leave a wakeup call for 0430 as I want a shower and a couple shower-sunrisers before we leave. It takes me about 10 minutes to pack. I call home to let Es know what’s going on. She’s not in, so I leave a message. Same for my friends Rack and Ruin of the Agency. They’re thrilled so far with my reports.
The security forces here are absolutely going to freak if they reverse-review my phone records once we leave.
Covert? Schmovert. I’m too old for playing such games.
The next morning, after a sudsy shower and a couple of vodka-infused shower-beers; I’m in the lobby with all my kit, checked-out, and waiting on the tour leader. My passport was stamp-stamp-stampity-stamped here at the hotel, which I thought was weird, but after spending time in this here country, not all that unusual.
At 0545 on the dime, the tour bus pulls into the lot. Without a word, bellhops grab near all my kit and escort it out to the waiting bus.
After tipping each extravagantly, I fire up a huge cigar, and wander around outside, loitering by the bus. I see members of my team at the front desk, checking out. Everything’s been paid for already, they just have to sign documents that they’re not secreting hotel towels or televisions or errant nationals in their luggage.
It’s a weird country.
I see them loading box breakfasts for us as well as box lunches on the bus.
Hell, they’re actually doing ‘field trip’ correctly.
If the bus us fueled up, we can go for days at this rate. There are several coolers bearing the hotel’s brand and I sidle over to see what they’re carrying.
Case after case of iced-down beer and a couple of cases of various high-octane potables; and over there? A couple of boxes of mixers…ah, soda…pop…carbonated citrusy goodness.
“OK”, I sigh, “All is as it should be. Now the field excursion may begin.”
My teammates filter outside as does their luggage. I suggest they get out and keep what is necessary for preliminary outcrop excursions; such as a backpack or knapsack, hammer, acid bottles, field notebooks, Brunton compass, lighters, cameras, personal tobacco products, and the like in the bus. That way, we don’t have to go tearing through all the luggage at every stop.
I pull out a bundle of 100
Hubco™ large geological
dual-sample bags. That’s right: ‘dual’ sample…
I distribute these to everyone on the team. I ask that they devise their own numbering system and make absolutely certain I have a copy of it when we’re done. I’ll be correlating and curating all the samples when we get back to the world.
I ask that a cooler of drinks are left on board the bus, rather than in the hold. It’s humid, sticky, and muggy today. We must expend valiant effort in remaining hydrated and this will help.
Luckily, the bus has on-board lavatory facilities.
We are seated on the bus, my 10 collective team members, myself, our 4 ‘guides’, ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’; our driver, relief driver, one incredibly shy national geologist, Myung-Dae Soo, and four of the shiny suit clan.
The hotel wheels out a large cart laden with pastries and a huge coffee urn. A bit of a “
Bon Voyage” from the casino and bar crowd, as they put this together for us when they heard we were leaving.
“Hey. That’s really nice of them.” Dax notes.
Dax handed over our raw “elevator waiting” funds as we didn’t have time to run it through the casino-machine before we left. We donated over 75,000 won to our friends at the bar, casino, and massage parlor. The ones delivering our going away present assured us it would be divided equitably.
“It best be”, I laughed, “You never know when one of us might be back!”
There was a collective horrified look on their faces for the merest moments. Then they all laughed and said that they hoped we would return someday soon.
“Nice folks”, I thought, “Stupid as shit country, but nice folks.”
We had all separately left tips for the room maids, bellmen, and matrons back before we checked-out.
There was a flurry of handshaking and goodbyes. Not a bad hotel experience here in the so-called land of Best Korea.
Serious dark coffee was passed out amongst the riders, but Ivan, myself, and Dax were already giving one of my emergency flasks a workout.
Ivan smiled and said: “We drink our coffee the
Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterward. HA!”
Ivan and I are cut from the same bolt.
Faux-doughnuts, pseudo-bear claws and fake-long johns all distributed; the bus is fired up, and rumbling. We are exhorted to watch our drinks as we pull away from the hotel and into the wilds of Northern Korea.
I’m humming away:
On the road again -Just can't wait to get on the road again,
The life I love is bashing rocks in the field with my friends.
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again.
Goin' places that we've never been,
Seein' things that we may never see again…
--
“Rock?”, Dax inquires.
“Yes?” I reply.
“Do please shut up.”
“Music hater”, I muse and comply.
We’re rolling down the highway, as it were, headed generally north. We all have cameras of one kind or another; and rather than relieve us of them, they quietly and without much fuss, slowly darken the windows.
They claim it’s to keep the sun out and temperatures down, but just before things go all black, we’re seeing sights and scenes of the true North Korea. They’re trying to keep us from seeing that en route to the outcrops.
This new bus has some sort of electronic tint-control gizmo for the windows. However, if one has a pair of polarizing sunglasses, as all good field geologists do, you see right past that and can view the passing scenery unencumbered.
I return from a quick beer-recycling loo trip and am amused to see 10 Western scientists, sitting in a blacked-out bus, all wearing polarizing sunglasses.
It was just the surreal note this trip needed as we left the confines of the capital city.
We traveled north, and the empties pile began to grow. We had a few trash bags we had liberated from the hotel, but the shiny suits were very insistent that every empty can, bottle, and bag, yes they had beer in bags…had to be repatriated to a box in the far back of the bus.
Evidently, they either were paid a bounty on each container or were accountable for each vessel. They were soon to realize just the capacity for drink that a group of 11 seasoned very Senior Field Geologists, and one stowaway geologist-in-training can amass.
As we ply our way northward, we see the agricultural side of North Korea. The contrast between rural areas and the capital was striking. There were miles of rice paddies being harvested by people with sickles in their hands. And no cars on the highway. It was most destabilizing for this Westerner.
I think we saw a maximum of three tractors, as most of the work was done with ox power, there was very little evidence of rural electrification. Oh, hold on. We saw many more tractors, I should correct that: we saw three
running and not rusted
into oblivion tractors.
The farmers we see are using equipment that is quite literally medieval - single-share plows pulled by large, cranky bovines; sweeping sickles to bring in the harvest, and twin-engine, bilateral, botanical-fired ox-carts to transport it. It’s hard to believe that this third-world level of poverty exists in the same country that’s capable of building rockets, nuclear weapons, and tall, well-appointed hotels.
But when we stop at a motorway service station for fuel - a bizarre alien spaceship-like building squatting over the empty carriageways - we do encounter a
jangmadang, or semi-official market. Here they are selling cans of knock-off Vietnamese Red Bull and Malaysian-made King Cobra™ Cola.
It reminds me of Russia right after the wall fell. Off the Trans-Siberian Railway in Krasnoyarsk, the Gateway to Eastern Siberia. You can buy Chinese hams, Chinese sodas, Chinese knock-off liquor, and those bloody delicious little bullets of Vitamin-C, Chinese mandarins.
Here, it’s similar. You can get most anything you desire, except it isn’t of Korean manufacture. That stuff is even too shitty to pawn off on tourists.
Instead, it’s knock-off Malaysian, Chinese, or Indonesian beer, wine, or soft drinks.
“Tiger-brand energy drink. Now with 40% more real tiger.” Here? I believe them.
Vodka from everywhere not known for its vodka distilling prowess. Rural hotel shops sell nastily stale crisps, gummy gummies, filling-ripping ‘chewy’ taffy or caramel, and biscuits with a severely limited choice. Rural hotels do not have full electricity so beer is warm and often tossed on the table, waiting for tourists to arrive - as is the food. We were warned to be prepared for cold rice, cold fish, cold potato – and plenty of kimchi and tofu.
Back on the road again, we’re passing small burgs that are not on any of our maps; even the ones we traded for back in the hotel that are specially marked: “For Internal Use ONLY!”.
They were amazingly the same. Clean. Bright. Uncluttered. And attended by cadres of prim, uniform-clad, though non-military people. They were all doing a day’s work keeping everything neat and clean.
There were no cars, trucks, forklifts…only rickshaws and ox-carts. However every one of these ‘towns’ were identical, and exactly, as Ivan pointed out, ‘X’ number of minutes apart.
“Watch! Is so!”, Ivan said. We passed one of these villages, and exactly 3 minutes later, an exact copy. Three minutes later? Another one. 3 more minutes? Xerox-city.
“What the fuck?” Dax asked.
“Potemkin village.” Comrade Dr. Academician Ivan replied.
A Potemkin village is any construction, literal or figurative, whose sole purpose is to provide an external façade to a country which is faring poorly. It is for making people believe that the country is faring better, although statistics and data would suggest otherwise.
“Russia pioneered the process,” Ivan noted with no small amount of pride. “During Cold War with West, entire cities were built, moved, raised, and razed. Ever hear of Krasnoyarsk-25? Atomic Research City? Supposed place of weapons study and manufacture. Huge ‘accident’. Entire city demolished, total populace relocated supposedly, after massive nuclear calamity.”
“Is that true? Cliff asks.
“No. Not at all.” Ivan smiles, “Deliberate misinformation. At least for K-25. It was diversion for actual towns where accidents; nuclear, biological, or worse, had happened. West so concerned about K-25 because it was big, near big capital city of Krasnoyarsk and suitably located out in the taiga. Easy to spot, easy to watch. Kept Western satellites busy while real towns of I-33, U-10, and AR-13 out in the forest were quietly demolished and people relocated or mass buried after some horrible, horrible accidents...”
“You think it’s the same here?” I asked Ivan.
“No, Dr. Rock”, Ivan smiled, and helped himself to my freshly constructed, but untouched, Yorshch, “This is all fake and bluster. Make West think everything is all A-OK, is that right idiom?”
“Yep.” I reply, “Precisely.”
“Make West believe all is OK and green”, as he winks at me, “And bustling and growing. Cover up what is real case here. We all see it and we see right through. Shoddy even for Asians.”
We all had to snicker and smirk as the shiny suit squad, who sat up at the front of the bus, and were not supposed to be listening; reacted like every cell in their bodies were just hit with a drop of pure lemon juice.
“Comrade Dr. Academician. Decorum, please.” I snickered.
“Oh, fuck them!”, Ivan replied, “I am old Russian. They try and pull burlap over my eyes? St. Petersburg? Moscow? Krasnoyarsk.? I’ve been there, seen them. They think this display of tawdriness…Even goofy American and Canadian can see the fakes they are. Britisher? I’m not so sure…”
“Damn, Doctor., I said to Ivan, “You’re just making friends all over the planet today.”
We all knew it was in jest; but the shiny suit squad certainly had their feathers ruffled and either didn’t care or wanted us to know we were under their observation.
“Fuck them twice”, Ivan said, “Ask them for bottle opener. I’m too lazy to search for my field jackknife.”
I hand him my pocket Leatherman and he pries the top of another bottle of ‘Budveiser’ beer.
“They can’t even make fake the name correctly”, he smirks and drains the bottle.
‘Town’ after ‘town’ and even that parade gets uninteresting. We’re headed north and finally come to a crossroads.
The bus driver, who must be a regular paranoid-maniac because he actually stopped to look for oncoming traffic, which we have seen precisely none since leaving the capital city, made a hard right. We’re heading back and up into the hills, leaving the bright lights of the big city far behind.
After an hour or so of driving, we pull off to the left-hand side of the road.
“Rock, Ivan, Cliff…holy shit, look at this!” Dax was uncharacteristically excited.
It was an open field that leads to a series of low outcrops of polychromatic, obviously sedimentary rocks. Magentas, greens, purples, rust-reds, browns, blacks, olive greens…holy shit. A real sedimentary pile.
We filed out of the bus with our field gear. The shiny suit squad started in with a bullhorn.
“You will wait for tour guides!”
“You will listen to group leaders!”
“You will not stray from the designated paths set up…”
No one heard them as the group of 11 remaining Western geoscientists were already across the highway and hieing for the exposures like outcrop-seeking multiple-warhead re-entry vehicles.
“You must wait!” we heard from exasperated voices back at the bus. “You must stop!”
“You must piss off!” Cliff said, “This is what we’ve been waiting over two weeks to see!”
“They are very angry with us”, Myung-dae the young Korean geologist said. “I find that just too bad.”
“And you are?” I asked.
Myung-dae Soo, the young Korean geologist, introduced himself.
“Well”, I said, “Welcome aboard. I’m Dr. Rock.”
“They are very, very angry”, he repeats.
“So? Are you tagging along to give them internal reports?” I asked.
“No, Doctor”, he replied, “I too am a geologist. I want to get away from those assholes and see some real rocks.”
“Who are you with?” I ask, “What group?”
“I am 5th-year student at Pyongyang College. I am not
officially here. We were told in class that you were coming. I decided to see if I could join you. This morning, I was standing by bus and they thought I was hotel worker or orderly. I was given cooler full of beer and told to find place for it on the bus. I did and after that, just stayed in the back. I am stowaway. I am ashamed, but I had to see for myself. But, I like Western field trips so far!”
“No shit? Well, then”, I said, “Double welcome aboard. None of this ‘I am ashamed’ shit. You’re a geologist, but you haven’t even worked through your first field-evening get-together with us. But this is no pleasure cruise. It’s real work, real geology, real serious science shit. You savvy?”
“Yes, sir, Doctor Rocknocker from Sultanate in the Middle East.” Myung-dae smiled.
“And you fucking stay close to me”, I smirked.
I fired a couple of
BLAAATS! from my portable air horn.
“Field Meeting! Field Meeting! Assholes & Elbows!” I called aloud.
Everyone gathered within earshot.
“OK, guys, here’s the deal. We do not know how long we’ve got here. So, let’s split up into teams. Geophysicists, go do your structural thing. Stratigraphers? Field relations. Geologists? Let’s go talk to some ronery-rooking-rocks. No offense, Mr. Myung.”
Myung-dae was laughing up a storm. He got that reference. He later told us all around the campfire he thought ‘Team America’ was a “fucking hilarious movie.”
Oh, we are going to be a
real bad influence on this poor kid.
The groups spontaneously broke up into 4 or 5 sub-groups. They headed for areas they thought were important and they were photographing, measuring, pounding on rocks, and arguing within minutes.
“No, you idiot! It’s continental. Look at those adhesion ripples.”
“The fuck you know. It’s only a little low-level eggbeater tectonics. Where the fuck would you get continental collision-size energy around here?”
“Oh, the fuck you say. It’s non-marine. Those are mud cracks. Look at the sandy aeolian infill, fer chrissake.”
Formal? Proper? Detached Doctors of Geology?
Not when you’re in the field. It all goes out the window when different opinions collide like subducting plates.
“The music of my people!” I said to Morse.
“I thought that was the ‘Safety Dance’?” he chided.
“We’re a big family. We can have more than one.” I snickered.
We’re wandering around the site, with individual purpose.
We are looking for or looking at
items of interest.
We’re hacking at the outcrops.
We’re all looking at…
things.
It’s hard to describe. Get a load of geologists or geology students out of the office, lab, or classroom; stick them out on a bare expanse of heavily weathered rock and it’s simply…numinous.
We’re rebuilding worlds here.
This rock says this.
This rock says that.
And you’re not fluent in that dialect. Here, let me interpret for you…
We’re at each other’s throats, in the academic-metaphorical sense. Tempers have been known to run hot. There has been the occasional bloody nose or rocks sailing down an outcrop without the obligate “HEADACHE!” call. Hammers and Marsh Picks have ended up swimming without the owner’s knowledge.
But once we’re back; settled in the hotel room, tavern, or around the campfire, we’re all a Band of Brothers again. It’s an odd thing to watch; as if you’re not of the clan, you’d need an interpreter. It defies all boundaries: political, sexual, educational, geographical, linguistic, social,
et cetera.
We’re all geologists first. We share the common scientific bond of Geology.
That’s why Geology is
the First Science.
Plus we tend to drink a serious fucking whole bloody awful lot.
We’ve all been on that ‘crawlin’ home puker’.
We’ve also been to the ends of the earth: the deepest depths, the highest heights, we deal with the greatest pressures, the hottest temperatures; we’ve been to the mountain, we’ve seen the elephant, and we’ve held a bear’s nose to dogshit.
We wear the scars attained in our travels like badges of honor.
We’re God-Damned
Scientists.
Back off, man.
Geologist comin’ through. Anyways, I’m looking at the bedding-plane boundaries between the purple unit and the underlying olive-green unit. The upper unit it looks, to me, continental in origin. Fluvial, perhaps. The lower unit is much finer-grained. Marine mudstone, perhaps? But what age?
The cadged Korean Geological maps are worse than useless. They never would go down to the outcrop scale. Consulting them, they don’t even note these exposures in a field sense.
Myung-dae, who is working about 35 meters down-section from me calls out, “Doctors! Sirs! Look here! I’ve found something!”
We all wander over as he is hacking away at the dusty, eroded rock. He stands and dusts off his find.
It’s a very large, nearly 1-meter diameter, coiled fossil cephalopod.
I wander over for a closer look. Dax, Cliff, Morse, and Ivan do as well.
“Blimey! Will you look at that? Outstanding, Mr. Myung!” Cliff says.
“Well, that confirms it. This layer, at least, is marine. Look at that suture pattern”, I say, dusting off an unweathered bit.
“Look at the radius of coiling.”, Cliff joins in.
We’re slowly wresting information out of this silent witness.
“Ornamentation?”, Dr. Ivan asks. “Knobs, bosses, and excrutions?” Oh, yes.”
In unison, we declare: “
Hyphoplites!”
Morse adds, “And therefore…these rocks are middle Cretaceous. Marine. Not bad…”
“Need to get some samples for geochemical analysis. Dig deep, gentlemen, we need unweathered samples for TOC (Total Organic Carbon) content.”, Dr. Erlen Meyer notes.
With that, we have a relative age of the rock, a good idea of its depositional environment, and therefore extent, ideas of field relationships, and an indication of some of its fauna.
Could it be source rock worthy?
Samples? Best get diggin’, Beaumont.
That unit is right smack in the middle of this pile of rocks. Dax and I will work up-section and Ivan and Cliff will work down-section. We’re going to see what lies above, what lies below, what trends we can discern, and develop an idea of what happened here some 100 million years ago.
This is what happens when you get geologists out in the field with the proper amounts of field gear, outcrops, and alcohol.
Overall, the deeper down-section, and therefore, earlier in geological time you go, the more marine the rocks are. Conversely, the higher you go in the column, i.e., up-section, into younger rocks, the more continental it appears.
We find fragments of marine fish fossils, sea-crocodile scutes and teeth, heaps of mosasaur coprolites, i.e., fossil shit piles, and other indications that the lower, older rocks are Lower Cretaceous ocean basin-fill.
But up higher; we find mud cracks, rain prints, land turtle shells, land-snails (
Bellerophontid gastropods), and what may actually be a fossil feather. All indications of a more continental, i.e., fluvial (river), floodplain, lacustrine (lake), and paludal (swamp) deposition.
That’s my particular bailiwick.
I’m ‘elephant walking’ along the upper outcrops looking for fossils. You basically bend over at the waist and sweep from left to right as you take exaggerated step after step, scanning the ground looking for…well…it takes years, but once you see it, you never forget it.
“Fossil sign”.
A disjunct endemism. Something not
in situ. Something
out of place. A bit of a different, out of context color. Out of context texture. Out of context size. Out of context
context.
Something that looks like it shouldn’t ought to be there.
I’m picking up 1 cm. square hunks of what look like an ordinary rock. I taste them. Well, I stick them to my tongue. If it liquefies and runs away, it’s ordinary mudstone, shale, or the like.
If it sticks…well, it might just be fossil bone.
“PTWTWOO!”
“Damn right, Rock”, Cliff says from behind me, “Fucking North Korea tastes terrible.”
“Still, it’s the best way I know to…” I paused.
“Got something?” Cliff asked.
“Look here.” I said, “Anthill. Big, nasty buggers. Look around the edges. Pieces of flat, cream-colored rock on this gaudy purple stuff. Tongue test? They stick like cockleburs. Let’s look upslope, see if there’s a drainage…”
There it was, a nice little drainage incised about 1.5 meters deep into the nearly horizontal rocks we were walking on.
“Any float?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Cliff said.
We followed the weak, little drainage that was cut into the outcrop, up another couple of meters.
There were very scrappy, very small, very scattered pieces of that same cream-colored rock. Some were ornamented with a scroll-work or some sort of striations. Most un-geological. More biological. We followed the trail, up here, around here, over there.
Cliff noticed it first, a soccer-ball sized lump of completely out-of-place crème-colored ‘rock’ working its way out by gradual erosion of the variegated pastels of the continental rocks upon which we were treading.
I got there first and began to clear the area with my Estwing.
“Careful. Careful”, Cliff admonished.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mind your Mincies. [Mince pies = eyes]”, as I’m swinging away at the reluctant, reticent, rocks.
The excavation grew, slowly. From the rounded dome, we could see small sutures that had developed…
Then condyles, fenestrae, then more ‘bone’. Then a jaw, teeth, vertebrae…
“HOLY DOUBLE-DAMN SHIT!” I tootled my air horn. We needed the group to see this.
It was a skull. A dinosaur skull. A small, non-avian dinosaur skull.
Everyone has crowded around and looked at the small quarry we had just built.
“Whatcha got, Rock? Cliff?” Joon asked.
“Fuck me, but I think we’ve got us a dinosaur skull,” I said.
Professor Doctor Academician Ivan walked over and cleared the area.
As Professor Emeritus, he had pole position priority.
“I agree.” is all he said.
I cleared the area and let others take a whack at opening up the quarry.
We may have been low on power tools, but we had a surfeit of opinions.
“OK,” I said, “Let’s look at the facts…”
- Age? Cretaceous. Probably lower to lower-middle Cretaceous.
- Continental deposits. That’s very fine sand we’re hacking away. Fluvial, without a doubt. Or, possibly aeolian; there’s no such thing as a geological certainty. Dunes? Ephemeral creeks? Low floodplain? Geo-talk… .
- Small size. Potentially a juvenile?
- Nope. Not a juvie. Sutures are closed, fused. This is, well was, an adult; perhaps a subadult, given its size.
- In situ? In place? Or washed in?
Hard to tell when all you’ve exposed is half the critter’s brain box.
“Look at that!” Myung-dae exclaimed, “Squamosal bones and the inner parietals…temporal fenestrae. It had a frill; a small one.”
“OK,”, I said, looking closely at the exposed scrappy remains, “Fucking-A Bubba. Nailed it.” I said, giving him the thumbs up.
“Ceratopsian. Look at those greens-grinder molars. There’s some small osteoderms on the skull; knobby old bastard. Early critter.” I continued.
Others looked around and confirmed my observations.
“Reminds me of
Protoceratops from when I was back in Mongolia,” I said.
Dax chimed in with, “Looks something like
Psittacosaurus from back in the Cretaceous Belly River of Canada.”
Drs. Ivan and Morse agree. “Most assuredly. It is definitely proto-ceratopsian. Young adult, as Dr. Rock notes by the cranial sutures. Do they have a record of proto-ceratopsians here?”
Myung-dae replies, “I have read reports of Korean proto-ceratopsian found in South Korea. Not long ago, 2019, it is called…ah…
Auroraceratops. It is a genus of bipedal basal neo-ceratopsian dinosaur.”
“Bipedal?” I query. “Well, there’s a fine how do you do. All the proto-ceratopsians I’ve known were obligate quadrupeds.”
“Well”, Ivan, Dax, Cliff, and Morse agree, “That should give the shiny suit squad something to report. That’ll keep them the hell out of our hair for a while.”
We photograph each step as we excavate the critter. It’s more or less
in situ, buried where it fell. Probably killed by a sand slip off a dune, or a river sandbar slip and burial. It’s not complete, but we do have the skull and a good portion of the post-cranial elements to about just before the pelvis. A good pectoral girdle, skull, jaw, frill, forelimbs, forefeet…easily half-a cute little herbivorous dinosaur. About the size of a smallish Highland Coo or large Great Dane.
We flag it with the team particulars, it’s GPS position, and carefully rebury the animal. We don’t have any of the equipment nor time to excavate it properly, but we can conserve it. Of course, we’ll be informing the proper authorities of our discovery.
I have an absolutely ancient Polaroid instant camera. Before re-internment, I take several pictures of our “
Koreasaurus”, as we’ve dubbed the animal, with items for scale; like a hammer, cigar, and oddly enough, a photographic scale. Then I get a photo of the whole crew standing around, drinking warm beers from their individual day packs, smiling about the find ‘they‘ made.
We hear the melodious tootle of the bus’s horns. We make sure to pack out all our trash and wander back to our terrestrial transport.
“You were gone too long!” the chief shiny suited character goes all ballistic on me.
“Watch yourself, Herr Mac.”, I calmly said, “You’re going to burn your nose on my cigar.”
“You left without your handlers…err…guides!” he fumed.
“Hey, Scooter. Cool out. We’re geologists. We never get lost.” I said.
It sometimes just takes us longer to get back than it took us to leave…
“Your impertinence will be reported.” He smoldered.
“Report this, Mother Chuckler”, I observed and held out the pictures of our newly discovered
Koreasaurus.
“Show those photos to
your handlers,” I said in a mocking tone. “We found a brand new species of God-damned dinosaur for you geezers. It took us less than two hours. You can spin it that it’s a new, never-before-seen species of very specialized dinosaur found right here in beautiful Korea del Norte. Be quite the scientific coup, don’t you think? Trust us. We won’t say anything.”
He immediately shut up and went into conference with the rest of the shiny suit squad.
“Doctor”, one of the clan covert asked, “This is a new dinosaur?”
I had a thunderbolt of an idea.
“Oh! Yes, it is. I’d stake my reputation on it. You’ve had no concerted search here for the beasts and well, with the normalizing of relations between your country and the world, it allowed your specialists to perform real science. In fact, on the bus is the young North Korean geoscientist who made the discovery.” I said. “Give me a minute. I’ll go and get him. I think he was off taking a shi…ah, using the lavatory. Just give me a minute.”
I did have an idea. A wonderful idea. A wonderfully evil idea.
Back on the bus, I ordered the doors closed.
“Gentlemen! Ears and eyes! Please.” I said loudly.
Continuing…
“The shiny suits have their knickers all a-twist because we don’t want to listen to them; the assholes. Fuck that. I’ve got an idea. Let’s make our young acolyte here, Mr. Myung-dae Soo, a national hero. He would probably get his ass in a crack for sneaking on board the Western bus today the way he did. Well, double fuck that. Let’s all say
he found the dinosaur. Let him take the glory for the homeland. No one else will ever need to know.” I said smiling.
“Fuck Yeah! You bet! Замечательное! Ihmeellisiä! Maravilhoso! Geweldig!”
Good to know we’re all on the same page. Geologists. You can always count on them…
“Mr. Myung-dae Soo? Front and center. Time to go and become ‘Hero of Best Korea’.” I smiled.
He was absolutely terrified.
“Doctor…I …don't…wait…no…” he stammered.
Cliff, Dax, Ivan, and I trotted him out to confront the shiny suit squad.
“Don’t worry, Myung. We’ve got your back. Trust us.” I said in a low conspiratorial tone.
The shiny suit squad turned as one and gave Mr. Myung the Stink Eye treatment.
“Here you go. The man of the hour. Mr. Myung-Dae Soo, young geologist and up and coming paleontologist.” I say loudly and with the utmost honor.
They look at him and the Korean erupts in rapid-fire staccato bursts.
Cliff just wanders in and interjects, “Yes. Righto. Top form. Found the float. Tracked down that dino like he was on safari. Highest marks. Good man!”
Dax adds more fuel to the fire. “Like he knew where to go, knew where to look. He’s a natural.”
Dr. Academician Ivan blustered forth: “Excellent scholar. Excellent field man. Banner geologist.”
I couldn’t have added more. The shiny suit squad was gobsmacked.
I asked Myung-dae what they were saying.
“They were talking about reprisals. Reporting to authorities. Then, they stopped. You have them completely confounded.” He said.
“How so?” I asked, quietly.
“Between an international incident where we don’t listen to our handlers and this potential important scientific discovery.” Mr. Myung-dae reported, trying hard to parse the evolving situation.
“Yes”, I added to Ivan’s bluster.
To the shiny suits: “I’ve worked as visiting Dinosaurian Vertebrate Paleontology Curator at all the major American museums. This is a find quite unlike anything known. It is a watershed discovery. It will help unravel the evolution and distribution of the clan
Dinosauria for the whole Korean Peninsula. Perhaps, even with international impact on the recent finds in China.”
I laid it on with a trowel.
I hit all the buzzwords.
“Yes. Yes, perhaps.”, the head shiny-suiter said. “I will report this bit of very good news to the proper authorities. Myung-dae, with us. We require more information.”
“Ah, we’d prefer him to ride in back with us if you don’t mind. Scientific courtesy, old man. He needs to be classically de-interviewed after such a find.” I insisted, making certain I stand as tall, wide, and menacing as possible while smiling like a damned Cheshire cat, one smoking a very large cigar.
“Very well. We are not far from our evening stop. We can talk later.” He agreed.
We all moseyed, laughing silently, back to the bus; literally supporting our young hero Mr. Myung-dae as he seemed to have gone all wobbly of late.
Myung-dae was ashen-white. He looked like he had just given birth to a basketball. He was visibly shaking.
We get on the bus and I whip up a stout Yorshch for the young hero of the hour.
“Here! This is for you. If you’re going to be a world-class geologist, you’d damn sure better start acting like one.” I smile broadly.
There were hoots, cheers, and cat-calls.
Beers were popped, bottles uncorked; cigars, cigarettes, and pipes lit.
“Damn Skippy!” some anonymous reveler added.
Myung-dae slurped a good half the drink. I offered him a cigar. He stopped shaking enough to accept the novel offer.
Remember “crawlin’ home puker”? He’s taken his first step into a larger world.
OK, just to recap. Here are the
dramatis personae left on the bus…
Bus driver (Kim) and his relief (Won).
My team and I. That’s 11 Western geoscientists: Morse, Cliff, Volna, Ack, Viv, Graco, Erlen, Dr. Academician Ivan, Joon, Dax, and myself.
Then there are our guides: Yuk, No, Man, and Kong.
Our stowaway hero geologist-in-training: Myung-dae Soo, aka, “Mung”.
And the four members of the shiny suit clan: Pak, Mak, Tak, and Jak. At least, that’s the names we used when we addressed them.
The bus was rumbling down the deserted highway. We were headed more or less due east, passing the occasional Potemkin Village. They knew we cracked their code long ago, so they didn’t bother with darkening the windows any longer.
We are passing a series of highway road cut outcrops. We’re only going approximately 35 or 40 miles per hour. Suddenly, Morse jumps out of his seat and runs up to the driver.
“STOP! STOP! Back up! We almost missed it!” he barks in heavily Russian inflected English.
The driver, shaken to the core, just slams on the brakes. The bus grinds to a stop. Good thing there’s no traffic out here.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
Jak of the suit clan jumps up and asks “What is the problem?”
“How could you miss that?” Morse shouts. “Huge fault. Mineralization. I saw that from a glimpse. We must return to investigate.”
“Is not possible. We have appointment at the hotel.” Jak replies.
“Fuck that!”, Morse shouts. I guess he’s just really into faults…
I wander up and try to defuse the situation.
“OK, guys, cool out. Let’s be reasonable. Do it our way. Go back to that road cut. We spend a half-hour there then we go on to the hotel. The hotel will still be there when we arrive, won’t it? Even if we’re a bit late?” I ask.
Jak looks to Pak, who converses with Mak and Tak. They know they’re outgunned.
The driver shifts the bus into reverse and we
back down the luckily deserted highway over a mile to the outcrop in question.
We had to admit, it was a mother beautiful normal fault. In perfect, textbook cross-section.
Morse and Joon were on it like white on rice; given the mineralization along the fault plane. All sorts of implications for the thermal and geological history of the area. But with just one exposure like this, more or less just a real interesting geo-oddity.
We spent precisely 30 minutes at the exposure, and when our handlers requested we re-board and head to the motel, we complied like nice, normal sort of folks.
I believe the appropriate maxim here is: “Lull them into a false sense of security…”
Once more down the road we travel. Beers popped, bottles uncorked; you know, the usual.
Forty-five minutes later, we pull into, I kid you not, a replica US of A 1950s
Motor-Inn.
“Mr. Myung”, I ask, “What the hell is this?”
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